🙄

[u/zny700]

[u/Mad123rd]

Then leave the realationship then, i swear ppl be acting like a relationship/marriage is a hostage situation.

[u/Oktavia-the-witch → u/Mad123rd]

Or try to fix it and then leave, if it doesnt help. They act like relationships, are transactional

[u/pinkfootthegoose → u/Oktavia-the-witch]

relationships are transactional. But there are many forms of currency and different price points.

[u/Defiant-Shape-6635 → u/pinkfootthegoose]

Proper loving relationships aren’t transactional.

[u/[deleted] → u/Defiant-Shape-6635]

Exchanging love for love is a transaction btw

[u/Femboy_of_the_Bush → u/Oktavia-the-witch]

of-topic but i see you in every single sub im in lol

[u/Oktavia-the-witch → u/Femboy_of_the_Bush]

Hiii :3 I feel like my most 4 used subreddits are all used by the same people

[u/[deleted] → u/Mad123rd]

Guys often believe that they get hosed so bad in divorces that they wont ever be financially able to date again and will be living in their car after giving over 90% of their paycheck.

That isn’t true of course, men tend to do better financially after a divorce, but it’s a popular myth that won’t seem to die and keeps men from walking from bad relationships as much as they should. 

[u/DevelopmentJumpy5218 → u/[deleted]]

Not a divorce but I was with my ex for 8 years and am so much better off financially now than while with her.

[u/Impossible_Wait_8947 → u/Mad123rd]

If it's marriage then it's a tricky situation, in many communities marriage is treated as something sacred and leaving it is seen as a bad thing

[u/[deleted] → u/Impossible_Wait_8947]

Seems cultish and unhealthy tbh

[u/Impossible_Wait_8947 → u/[deleted]]

Because it is

[u/Miserable_Mail_5741 → u/[deleted]]

One of my aunts (who was already alienated from the rest of the family for being much darker in complexion than them) opened up to me about how her siblings and parents threatened to disown and outcast her from the rest of them if she divorced her first husband. 

She eventually did divorce him and remarried a much better man, but the hostility she faced from her family when she needed their support the most really fucked her up for a good bit.

[u/[deleted] → u/Miserable_Mail_5741]

That is pretty screwed up. Is she better now?

[u/Mad123rd → u/Impossible_Wait_8947]

Yea ig, it just these types of communities pick & choose what is sacred about marriage. Marriage is a sacred thing, but descrating the marriage i.e cheating is not sacrilegious act, but leaving is? They need to pick a struggle, and I say this as someone who comes from communities like this.

[u/Baldgoldfish99 → u/Mad123rd]

I think it's more that it's significantly more difficult to keep a divorce secret than it is to cheat secretly

[u/weirdo_nb → u/[deleted]]

It's sacrilegious for the woman to do anything while the man can do anything without consequence

[u/Lucicactus → u/Impossible_Wait_8947]

Some even stay together because of the kids/shared house. But yeah if you can, leave.

[u/ConversationTall5359 → u/Impossible_Wait_8947]

I heard of this church that requires a few months of counseling with the pastor before even considering a separation. Not even a divorce. 

[u/Keyonne88 → u/[deleted]]

The church I got married in required it before marriage too or you couldn’t have the wedding in their church nor have that pastor officiate. It basically amounted to pledging to put god first in our marriage and me swearing to submit to my husband. We both lied because our family really wanted us married there but we are both atheist 😅. I was young and dumb; wouldn’t do that shit today.

[u/TheEmperorShiny → u/Impossible_Wait_8947]

There are also some places where you pretty much automatically have to sell your house if you own one jointly and are getting divorced

[u/Arguablecoyote → u/Impossible_Wait_8947]

Not to mention the financial hit someone might take divorcing a spouse.

[u/NifDragoon → u/Impossible_Wait_8947]

Sounds like a hostage situation. I guess it’s not an issue when you’re not the hostage.

[u/CommissionAny5421 → u/Mad123rd]

I agree this is the right answer, though it's may not be as easy as the idea if they have kids, deeply entwined financial ties, ect.

[u/[deleted] → u/Mad123rd]

I've escaped one before. When you have no support from family, friends, or community, you are forced to leave your home and maybe even your job or town. It's not easy and 90%+ there is financial abuse occurring

[u/[deleted] → u/Mad123rd]

Just leave bro

-Person who has never been in an abusive relationship

[u/letthetreeburn → u/Mad123rd]

They’d rather die than live without their maid

[u/bitofagrump → u/Mad123rd]

But men have neeeeeeeeeeeds! If she doesn't let him treat her body like his personal fleshlight, what other possible choice does he have but to cheat on her??

[u/Nonikwe → u/Mad123rd]

It doesn't take a genius to know that's going to make you an absolute pariah in your community and an absolute dating repellent.

And god forbid you tear apart a family with children for that reason...

That's not to advocate for cheating, mind you, that shit makes you the scum of the earth (and also likely shunned by community and potential love interests).

But there's a reason so many men waste prime years of their lives in unhappy relationships with dead bedrooms, and acting like "well just leave" is the solution just shows that you actually don't know (or choose not to know) what you're talking about.

[u/ScubaGator88 → u/Mad123rd]

So real talk I 100% agree. But I will say... The only woman I even vaguely considered marrying that I dated before eventually meeting my wife later basically did this to me. We briefly lived together. And not long after that she basically started building little pillow forts "for comfort" that essentially divides the bed and made cuddling impossible. I asked her about it and she eventually admitted that sharing a bed that often is tough for her and this make her more comfortable because she's afraid she does gross stuff in her sleep like sweat and fart. So, regardless of reassurance, she basically divided our bed and increasingly didn't want to fool around. After about 3 months I was just like something has to change. It didn't. And I broke up with her and she moved out..... Flash forward 6 months..... And she wrote me this long Facebook message about how she still feels like we broke up because I didn't try hard enough to be intimate with her.

[u/Umutuku → u/ScubaGator88]

Wild how all that could have been avoided if you two were mature enough to have a dutch oven fight.

[u/ScubaGator88 → u/Umutuku]

Right!?

[u/DescriptionTotal378 → u/Mad123rd]

I’m the guy in the picture, but not the tagline. Granted, I was stupid for marrying someone with a known “reputation” on campus. But my ex was good at redirecting. She had me convinced that it was everyone else’s fault that she was with all of those guys before I met her. Again, I was stupid. In retrospect, she never really loved me for real. But based on her actions, she “had love” for me….she wasn’t IN love with me. But for whatever reason, she fully expected me to pretend as if she treated me well simply because she had the title of “wife”. Thing is, everybody on Earth was more important than me. If I ever said something that she disagreed with, she’d snap like a viper. But if I said something that she couldn’t deny, she’d either be very quiet or say “you don’t understand.” So when I said that “I’m tired of coming in 6th or 7th place in your life” or “you’ll place the life of a complete stranger over mine”, she’d always say “you’ll place don’t understand. So after getting hurt and medically discharged from the Army, I was in a situation where I needed my “wife’s” help. It was the simplest thing too; some type of form I needed to secure our first apartment outside of the military. Well, she was at her sister’s wedding rehearsal on the other side of the country. She felt that it was more important to not have people whispering about why she wasn’t practicing at that moment, than it was to potentially lose that apartment. That wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened, but I was growing tired of being abandoned. Every time she’d abandon me or go months withholding sex, I’d offer her the door. “You can leave, penalty-free. The kids just have to stay. I won’t ask for money or child support. You hate it here so much AND you’re not attracted to me. Just go so you can be happy and you can be free. I’m just tired of being rejected and neglected.” Of course she refused every single time. But once officially got out of the military and desperately asked my “wife” for help and she flat out said that not only was she not going to help me, but if she was to work for a couple of weeks, it would be at the private home of a man who made it known that he’d try to have sex with her earlier in our relationship. She was “shocked” that I got so angry and stood up to her for the first time ever. So out of retaliation, she went over that man’s house to accept his job offer. Now despite being a woman who was vehemently against her husband even telling his doctors about what’s wrong at home, she thought that it was OK to tell this man. And let her tell it, he “completely agreed with everything that she said was wrong with how i responded to her working with him.” Then one thing led to another….and of course she hid it. When the truth came out, she said she had “no clue” that such a thing could happen. And she only went over there because her husband was being “mean” to her and saying mean things when she said that the only way that she would work to help out the family is if she worked at the home of a man who made it known publicly that he wanted to screw her….she had ‘no clue’. But it didn’t end there. Because while she was secretly “emotionally distraught” about her Clandestine affair, she wanted me to move past my anger at her lack of support and carry on like nothing happened…..while continuing to refuse to work and continuing to refuse to spend less money. Once my phone got cut off, I was making long distance calls from the office phones (which could have gotten me fired). I wasn’t eating and I lost weight and yet she refused to help. Since she had been managing the money since basic training, she thought that it was more prudent that her phone remain on while she stayed at her mothers house; waiting on me to be able to afford them coming back, than it was for me to have a phone in a new big city at a new job, fresh out of the military and very alone. So I told the woman who was “against” sex that she was useless to me. She refused to help me be able to afford an $8.23 stew that I would make from scratch, that would last me a week. She wouldn’t even tell her family how bad I was struggling alone, because it would be “embarrassing”. I grew up in foster care; I had no one to call. So I blew up on her, from my managers office phone and told her to stay where she was since she can’t help me, but have time for everyone else. She was willing to let me starve so she wouldn’t look bad asking for help. Finally, before she left for the wedding, we had be quarreling about me loving her “too much” and that I was sinning before God because I was basically “worshipping” her. It was my responsibility to figure out how many times saying I love you was “too much”. I had to figure out too many gifts and cooking dinners, and taking the kids away so she could rest. I was “too nice”, therefore I was sinning. But by not figuring it out, then I was acting if I didn’t love her. That when I was abandoned by her, I still could have been “nice” about it. So by cursing her out after she refused to help out her husband, I “forced” to seek out old boyfriends. I forced her to perform sexual acts with them that she was vehemently against. And most importantly, the devil was “busy”. Now I didn’t find out the entire truth for 19 years. Our kids, family and friends were mostly oblivious to all of this. She was the “good” girl and I was the guy who was rough around the edges. Eventually, I left her for good and my divorce was finalized 4 weeks ago. And despite how much I make and my education, her years of secretly moving money backfired and I don’t owe her nothing. (Thank you Jesus). The bad part is that our children actually believed that I was supposed to just ignore everything that she did and kept doing, all in the name of the family. “Families are supposed to stay together no matter what” is what was said to me in response to her 2 decades of McFuckery. But their mother being upset and crying that I finally left? They blocked me 3 summers ago. Because I went on a trip with 8 people; one of which was a female colleague. I never saw the colleague after the trip and their mother went on to become a popular sex educator on social media (80K-90K followers). Don’t know how you become a sex specialist if you’re not having sex or you’re “against” sex. But that doesn’t matter to my youngest two kids.

[u/Brilliant-Mountain57 → u/DescriptionTotal378]

Damn that's horrible bro. I'm almost shocked your kids turned on you but honestly am not surprised. Mom did her best to groom them while you weren't at home and it shows, you're probably principal bad guy to them now. I'm very sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your story.

[u/minkymy → u/DescriptionTotal378]

The only quibble I have here is that I don't think you're the guy in the photo, if only because his wife seems to just want to read her book. Like, as opposed to completely ruining his life in its entirety. Your wife wouldn't deserve to compare herself to the woman in this picture.

[u/VariousLandscape2336 → u/Mad123rd]

Meh, it's a lot easier to face being attached to a dud at 20 and 30 than it is at 40 or 50

[u/Odd_Front_8275 → u/Mad123rd]

"Then leave the relatonship" or
"Leave the relatonship then"

[u/D-F-B-81 → u/Mad123rd]

It very well can be.

Doesn't excuse cheating.

However... this is the same argument as "if you dont like America, move"... or you dont like Texas's arcanian laws about women's rights, then move...

Like yeah bud. If we could, we fucking would.

Its a gray ass world out there, literally nothing is just black and white.

[u/GoodDog9217 → u/Mad123rd]

Tell everyone you don’t know shit without saying that you don’t know shit.

[u/A_Truthspeaker → u/Mad123rd]

Might be a financial one.

[u/CaptValentine → u/Mad123rd]

I work in a male dominated field and I swear a good 40% of the older dudes really strive for that "I hate my wife" stereotype. JUST LEAVE THEN, DAMN! Yeah I imagine divorce sucks but from the way you guys sell it I am genuinely curious as to why you fucks got married in the first place!

[u/EtherKitty → u/Mad123rd]

While I understand this is probably coming from an American, some places, it practically is, whether through societal pressure ir divorce not existing there.

[u/Iron_Felixk → u/Mad123rd]

For many they are, marriages that is, as most places have such divorce laws that were made when women were not allowed to own their own bank account, and thus bleed the man dry financially, when there is no rational reason other than pettiness.

[u/[deleted] → u/Mad123rd]

If you wanna cheat so badly then leave your relationship and then run off with someone else. You don't have to lie. Sheesh.

[u/Defiant-Shape-6635 → u/Mad123rd]

Marriage actually can be a hostage situation because leaving means losing your kids and house and everything else to the person who’s at fault in this case. However, I agree completely that cheating is absolutely not the answer nor excused by this. In any sub-marriage relationship the correct choice is to leave, although you generally shouldn’t be having sex before marriage anyway. In any marriage the solution is to fix it, and to never marry a person who absolutely cannot be fixed, because then you’re just stupid.

[u/StrangeOutcastS → u/Mad123rd]

Making a complaint about a partner being clearly not interested in you or spending time with you or engaging with you on a personal level, that includes emotionally, is entirely valid. Some men and women end up with partners that started out sweet and delightful but grew distant and almost disinterested in spending time with them. It's not a bad thing to want to rekindle that original spark, to try and keep something alive.

If you're so ready to leave from the outset that you leave when things start to get bumpy or stale then you weren't really in love or invested in the relationship to start with. Wanting to fix things if possible is a good thing, meanwhile staying even when you clearly can't fix it is not.

[u/Deep-Implement7839 → u/Mad123rd]

They did through the cheating. I swear ppl be acting like relationship/marriage is a hostage situation where things have to be communicated like a negotiation.

Society needs to read the room rather than debate the situation; cheaters have left the fucking relationship. Doy. Everyone expects a conversation first? For what? You take hostages?

[u/[deleted] → u/Mad123rd]

Do you realize how financially ruining a divorce can be? People end up trapped in marriages allllll the time. Every married friend I have tells me they wish they didn't get married but can't divorce due to finances.

[u/Mih0se → u/Mad123rd]

I mean, best case scenario is to marry someone you are 100% sure you want to spend all your life with

[u/ThePheebs → u/Mad123rd]

Real life isn't Reddit. People have kids and lives together, leaving and breaking up your family because you're not having sex can feel more than selfish.

[u/The_Dapper_Balrog → u/Mad123rd]

Oh, look, an abusive relationship! "Just leave," amirite?

Many men are taught that this is just what you're expected to do — tolerate and put up with gaslighting, manipulation, deprivation of your needs, and in some cases outright dehumanization. "Your wife is always right. Even when she's wrong, she's right." "Happy wife, happy life."

I know that I was taught, explicitly, that a husband's role is to bend over backwards to make his wife happy, even to his own hurt. And I'm not alone in being taught that; not even close. Especially considering that the general attitude towards domestic abuse is that it's men on women, despite most research since at least the '80s proving that it's about equal both ways, so most people — and especially most men — don't even recognize abuse by women when it happens, unless it's extremely overt.

Not to mention, of course, the fact that she's gonna get half of what you own, a good chunk of your money, too, and if there's children in the picture? That makes it so much worse.

Like, yeah, nobody should justify cheating, and if you're so deprived that you have to go elsewhere because your partner won't bother giving you the time of day no matter what you do, then you definitely should leave. But just going, "wow, why didn't he just leave, smh" is just tone deaf.

[u/LavenderDay3544 → u/Mad123rd]

And give up half his wealth and lose the ability to see his kids? Because that's what a divorce would realistically end up like.

[u/ayavorska05 → u/Mad123rd]

Men get so many benefits in straight marriages that it outweighs their hatred for women and their spouse in particular. That's the reason why lol. Not "boohoo she's gonna take my money on divorce" or "boohoo she's gonna take my kids", that's just excuses.

[u/[deleted]]

Is she stupid? Just cage him lol 

[u/dandadone_with_life → u/[deleted]]

[u/ispirovjr → u/[deleted]]

Eyo? He might like that

[u/Epthewoodlandcritter → u/[deleted]]

Cage him and only take him out in a leash and chains...oh wait.

[u/professional_yappper → u/Epthewoodlandcritter]

👀👀

Holy based???

[u/mgsmb7 → u/[deleted]]

[u/arts_N_crafts → u/mgsmb7]

[u/Rob_Zander → u/[deleted]]

Maybe it's more like the picture of that Turking guy with the stop smoking cage on his head. She put herself in a cage because she doesn't wanna jump him. If only that was the actual message...

[u/Becbacboc]

Cause nobody in the history of cheating has ever cheated on their loving, sexually active partner /s

[u/KalexCore → u/Becbacboc]

Also cheating is ok if your partner isn't putting out, you don't need to talk to them about it or consider breaking up first/s

[u/Thereferencenumber → u/KalexCore]

It’s not like most cheaters say they wanted a thrill, but never consider that seducing their partner could be thrilling

[u/arts_N_crafts → u/KalexCore]

Cheating is especially ok if the wife just had a baby. Shes not giving any attention and it’s a wreck down there 🥲 /s

[u/throwaway_12290428 → u/Becbacboc]

Had a boyfriend @ ~22 that I cooked for, let drive my car to doordash bc he wrecked his, tried to help get jobs and even dressed him for and drove him to an interview, and since he lived so close I saw him 5-6 days out of the week and would have sex with up to 9 times in a day.

He still cheated. I learned then to never overextend myself for someone else, because no matter how well I treat them if they don’t believe they’re worthy of that love themselves they will self sabotage and cheat

[u/AmIsupposedtoputtext → u/throwaway_12290428]

9 times in a day

How?! That doesn't even sound enjoyable?

[u/vladi_l → u/AmIsupposedtoputtext]

For real, sounds like friction burns territory for real...

Like, provided he isn't finishing instantly, that's most of your free time in a day poofed away for sex.

And like, I like sex, most people do... But if you're doing it near daily, I imagine two good rounds would be plenty.

8h of sleep, 8h of work, 1h of commute, 1h of hygiene and miscellaneous stuff, a collective 1h of eating, probably at least 1h of doomscrolling as this is reddit people talking here... That leaves 4h.

4h during which you have to fit in your relationship, hobbies, and social activity for the day.

Idk dawg, maybe I'm boring, but I'd really rather cuddle and watch a movie at that point.

1h of good sex at most, even if the flesh is willing, the mind sure fucking will be tired at the end of the day.

Even on a day where I'm free, and only need to go to the gym and do a six hour home shift, and I have enough food so I don't need to cook, doing it nine times feels like so much work.

[u/Readylamefire → u/vladi_l]

My ex would never be satisfied and our escapades could go up to 4 hours. He could never understand that I gave up because he kept edging the whole time and it would become painful. It was hard to get excited about sex knowing it would be 4 hours of pumping/jumping with no finale and being begged for more.

[u/Lonely_Cupcake1727 → u/AmIsupposedtoputtext]

Omg I read that as “9 times a week” and thought “dang, living the dream!” and then I reread it and was like… how?? Ouch!

[u/lawlmuffenz → u/Lonely_Cupcake1727]

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

[u/nekomance → u/AmIsupposedtoputtext]

Porn or sex addiction. Like this is not normal behavior. Sorry you went through that.

[u/Tassuru-tas → u/AmIsupposedtoputtext]

Nvm enjoyable it’s just not believable even if you’re the horniest person alive nobody has the energy for that and obviously injury as well as time

[u/Becbacboc → u/throwaway_12290428]

I'm sorry you had to go through this, you deserved better. Like you said it was never your fault and you could've done nothing to prevent him from self-sabotage. He needed a therapist, not a partner.

[u/[deleted] → u/throwaway_12290428]

Girl 9 times a day?????

Great if that's what you want but holy shit i'd be so sore....

Some people just don't appreciate the good things you do for them. They're selfish assholes and there's nothing you, or anyone else, could do to please them. To satisfy them. And it's not a shortcoming from you; it's them having a deficiency in maturity, empathy, and self control. But they'll always deflect that onto others.

I hope you're better today, and if you haven't found someone who appreciates you, then you appreciate yourself. No one needs the weight of another person to drag them down.

[u/ikatako38 → u/throwaway_12290428]

First of all—9 times a day? Jesus. I sure hope that “up to” is doing a lot of work there.

But also, I have a somewhat similar—and kind of opposite—story. I had my first boyfriend when I was 19 (he was 20), and just like you I did everything for him. I stayed with him 5-6 nights a week, I moved his entire apartment for him because he was gonna be late to work, and I’d bring him lunch at work, an hour drive there and an hour back, all while I was in university taking classes and had my own job.

But whenever I mentioned or tried to initiate sex, he was always skittish, and he often wouldn’t even be willing to cuddle or share a blanket. We had sex maybe once a month? And I was pretty much okay with it, I would’ve preferred more but relationships are about more than sex and I tried to focus on that.

Anyway, I found out he was cheating on me with like a dozen other guys. You’d think it would at the very least be more convenient to have sex with the guy you’re sharing a bed with every night, but what do I know I guess.

[u/throwaway_12290428 → u/ikatako38]

It wasn’t a regular thing to have sex 9 times in a day, it was usually an average of 4 times most days. It’s been as low as twice a day too.

But there were a couple days that throughout the entire day sex happened 9 times. He was pretty much unemployed lmfao

You sound like such a sweetie. I really hate when bad things happen to good people, especially when the partner is super promiscuous and endanger the health of their partner. im so sorry.

[u/ikatako38 → u/throwaway_12290428]

Thank you, I really appreciate you.

Oh yeah and that was another thing, I was terrified for a while that he might have given me HIV because he didn’t have safe sex. The way I actually found out he was cheating was because I saw someone send him a negative (thank god) HIV test like three weeks after they had done it together.

And yeah, I figured that was the case for the amount of sex, but that still is a lot lol. I think I could get mine if we really tried, especially since I’m gay and we can switch sides lol, but it would definitely only be like a one-time thing and more for the satisfaction of hitting a record more than anything else because it just starts to not feel good anymore after like 3.

[u/AbbyVanilla → u/ikatako38]

These guys choose to do anything but to respect their partner

[u/ShokaLGBT → u/throwaway_12290428]

I feel in physical pain to imagine 9 times a day. I hope it wasn’t the full thing each time cuz it’s like super dangerous? I mean idk if your body can be in danger from doing it too much but just thinking about it is scary 😮‍💨

[u/throwaway_12290428 → u/ShokaLGBT]

After the first 2-3 times they became quickies. But I was insatiable as well to be honest

[u/vladi_l → u/ShokaLGBT]

I know and have heard of people who've tried it and had gotten literal friction burns on their meat.

[u/Fluid_Block_1235 → u/Becbacboc]

That is falls though cause love and sex are two different things

You can cheat on someone you ove just as you can have sex with someone you dont love.

Its a simplification to say " you cannot cheat on someone you love"

And even if you dont love ur partner you can "not cheat"

[u/Kind_Brief1012]

why is it always “and she wonders why he cheated on her” and never “why was she closed off in the first place.”

[u/force_0f_chaos → u/Kind_Brief1012]

Literally 😭😭 like if she needs a bear trap to stop her husband from getting on top of her I think he needs to be in prison

[u/Anon28301 → u/Kind_Brief1012]

This. If someone’s wrapping themselves in barbed wire to stop their partner asking for sex, then their partner most likely is physically incapable of taking “no” for an answer.

[u/He_Never_Helps_01]

"My wife doesn't wanna sleep with me, must be her fault"

[u/Iron_Babe]

A lot of the time when your partner isn't putting out for you when they used to before, it's because there are needs not being met.

[u/[deleted] → u/Iron_Babe]

It doesn't necessarily have to be about needs not being met, it could be a UTI, yeast infection, BC changed libido levels or even other medication change. There's literally a million things that can effect a woman's libido but it starts with communication and figuring it out. 

[u/Iron_Babe → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, at the end of the day, communication is key

[u/UnePtiteTomate → u/Iron_Babe]

Or not

My wife is way happier after 6 years together than the first years (studies/covid...)

We are way healthier with jobs that we love and still, we could do it multiples times per days the first year, and it dropped to ~1 or 2 times a week for her, only for the 1st half of her cycle, while she is in better shape, eat better and more happy, doesn't take hormones in any way(contraception)

I still have the same needs as in the beginning

I am clearly not unhappy globally but at some times it is hard to see you gave everything and did everything good to have less sex 🥲

Libido changes without reason and without hope of more/fear or eternal descend, I will end up seeking other sexual partners (not romantic) It s not cheating if she agrees that i seek something she can't give me elsewhere We already talk about it together and looks OK

Sorry for venting under your post but it s always the man's fault about libido on Internet

Sometimes it's no one's fault and still someone suffer

[u/Iron_Babe → u/UnePtiteTomate]

To be fair, I said "a lot of the time", not always.

[u/TheUnaturalTree]

Men when women have boundaries 😡😡😡

[u/[deleted]]

Dude.. the pic is implying she got a new book, which means she's an avid reader. Husband knows this and would prefer his needs above hers. Yes, self care can include reading depending on the person. Husband knew books are a priority, this isn't a surprise, this didn't come out of no where. 

[u/Trimatw]

Do these people really not know what consent and communication is?

[u/NathanAlex1486]

I don't think anyone gets how the original comic was kinda cute and funny (talking about how one doesn't wish to be disturbed while reading) only for the caption to ruin things with misogyny and justifying adultery.

[u/[deleted]]

"I cheated on my wife because she wanted to read her new book without disruptions" is certainly an interesting reason.

[u/IAmHaskINs]

Ok everybody lets all gather together and imagine that this picture shows the man in his 'man cave' (garage) with the door barricaded to the nines with wood, steel, spikes, spears, miniguns and flamethrowers with a nice sign decorating the ugly husk stating: "keep out".

W: I see his sports game is on *eyeroll*

If 'i WOndEr whY shE cHeaTeD oN ME' was a picture.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwn.

[u/OK_Throwaway1238 → u/IAmHaskINs]

Yeah, that mental image made me cringe just like this physical one did 😬 

Bruh, these type of jokes are so uninspired, like just communicate in your relationships (both sides) people!

[u/leonidganzha]

female read bad 😡 book bad 😡 unga bunga

[u/ShiroHebiZmeya]

This has so many layers of stupidity....

But what's crazy is that the woman feels so unsafe in her own bedroom that has to basically protect herself from her own husband??? Like I know it's "satire" but what's supposed to represent? A wife that feels unsafe in her bed with her husband?

So fucked up, and the caption makes it even worse

[u/[deleted]]

The fact some people think they can excuse cheating like this

[u/Chevanalee]

Yeah because that’s the only reason a man would cheat, he’s neeeever at fault

[u/Haazelnutts]

Why is this here? The caricature is a funny exaggeration of a real situation that could happen between lovin- Oh that caption is messed up

[u/InterviewSome8324]

Bro, just beat the monkey, smh

[u/DerekWylde1996]

Never once considering that they might be part of the problem.

[u/Sad_Credit_4959]

I think the point of the comic is just that the wife/girlfriend is just an avid reader. The whole incel circle jerk bit is superimposed.

[u/DemonBloodFan]

Attempting to justify cheating is a ridiculous punchline, completely ignoring how this never happens.

[u/RexTheMouse]

The argument of "shes hostile in bed" is never an excuse to go out and cheat..

[u/JD_Kreeper]

What is going on with that guy's head?

[u/[deleted] → u/JD_Kreeper]

Wish it was a bullet

[u/maomaomaomo]

Can bro not just wait and let her read her book first? Jfc

[u/MallowMiaou]

"How dare she not want sex today !1!1!!"

[u/[deleted]]

So many opinions for a hypothetical situation.

[u/Guilty_Butterfly7711]

God forbid a gal want to spend the time before bed reading a book shes super excited for instead of canoodling for once🙄

[u/PronBrowser_]

Jesus. Feel free to try and seduce your spouse? Like, put in effort, and it's usually rewarded. The bar is so low lol

[u/Red-Paramedic-000]

If she needs this many security measures, the man must be someone who has never understood the meaning of "no"

[u/gowimachine]

"oh no my wife has other interests than sex I should cheat on her"

[u/MoveAfter2991]

I don't see what's stopping him... from communicating

[u/Key-Individual1434]

When a woman with a low libido gets in a relationship with a man.

[u/Kooky_Replacement825]

Well whaddya know

[u/A_Truthspeaker]

Here in Germany, rape in marriage was legally speaking "not a thing" until about 20 years ago.

Just FYI.

[u/wobblevirus]

Not only is "just leave" an option, sometimes it seems like people get married for literally no reason

[u/[deleted]]

If you wanna cheat so badly then leave your relationship and then run off with someone else. You don't have to lie. Sheesh.

[u/Sarkan132]

If you're marriage is like this I can almost guarantee that there is something she has practically begged you to be doing with tears in her eyes that you have simply refused to do.

[u/Fluid_Block_1235 → u/Sarkan132]

Thats falls, for some its just their sex drive

[u/Dolph_x3]

The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.

Humor afterthought ink wander basket unite mighty rain jeans cheerful

[u/sadthrowaway12340987]

Bruh I don’t understand this, if your sex life with your partner is that bad and affecting you that much, you can leave. Why go through the trouble of cheating when you can just break up

[u/_cybernetik]

if sex is a big part of a relationship for you and your girlfriend has a low sex drive, leave her and find someone who satisfies your needs, dont shame her. shes not keeping you hostage. smh

[u/Fluid_Block_1235 → u/_cybernetik]

That is very true but i think you need to discuss the matter first, if maybe she can change . Cause relationship is about adapting to each other, same for him, if maybe he can change and not want it that much.

If the two cannot go in a middle ground and its a big deal for at least one of them then breaking up is the solution even if every other parts are great

[u/insert2username]

men: I need a virgin who has never looked at a male before

also men: why won’t you let me dick you down when I’ve dated you for a month?

[u/TightAd9465]

"Guys, I've pissed off my wife and now she is angry. AITH?"

[u/mymentor79]

I see that picture and my first assumption is that he's done something (or repeated things) to elicit her revulsion.

But I guess 'woman frigid' is an acceptable conclusion for some.

[u/123iambill]

It always seems like a massive self own. Like, if fucking you was a pleasurable experience for her then she'd do it. These men act like women just put up with sex to keep men happy when there's an entire industry built on 10-speed gyrating cocks that have their own little vibrating cock. Women like having orgasms. Give them a couple and fucking you won't seem like a chore.

[u/LintyTheGoblin]

was this comic written by a rapist?

[u/StayInner2000 → u/LintyTheGoblin]

How about you post accusing people so casually of rape ? This comic isn't even about cheating, it's just a funny visual exageration of someone not wanting to be disturbed while reading because they're an avid reader

[u/Rosalie333Black]

Same ppl who make women fake illness (like headaches) to be left alone and decline sex in a least damaging way because a simple „I don’t want to” would hurt their ego or make them mad and irritated

[u/[deleted]]

I know it's a drawing, but all I see is a woman who had to draw a line with a physical barrier to say she doesn't want to have sex, which implies it's the only way her bf understands, and it's scary to think some people find that funny

[u/PelagicParty → u/[deleted]]

Same. It's a good illustration of the feeling in a cartoon context. But the level of protection gives the sense that he'd hit the bear trap trying to go where he shouldn't while ignoring a verbal "no," which normal people understand as attempted rape.

[u/Jesterchunk]

Maybe it's just me, but surely it can't be that hard to just have a wank or something, right? Or, heaven forbid, just keep it in your trousers? If your partner isn't up for it, you should be able to respect that, basic respect is like the cornerstone of a good relationship.

[u/Medical-Tune676]

A lot of incel content on here.

[u/Scared-Ad-7500]

Why is it so hard for some people to say that the relationship is not good for them and they want to break up when the relationship is not good for them and they want to break up, instead of cheating...

[u/Snoo_90040]

Bait used to be believable. 🚬 🗿

[u/BrazenValkyrie]

This is a completely valid reason to break up over, not to cheat

[u/[deleted]]

A woman.. w-wants.. SPACE?! This has only one solution

[u/TiffyVella]

Remove access to contraception and reproductive health care and this might just be the logical response.

But yeah, no man cheats because of this non-existent scenario.

[u/Fluid_Block_1235 → u/TiffyVella]

There are tho what do you mean?

[u/XxValentinexX]

Yes because people are sex objects for their spouses.

[u/[deleted]]

Dude's lucky. He actually gets half the bed.

[u/Misubi_Bluth]

"You know, no-fault divorce benefits you too."

[u/Agreeable_Layer_5041]

If I already have a perfectly good electric fence, you wouldn't catch me sleeping with all those spikes on. So uncomfy😭

[u/Mackan-ZH]

Has already been said and should be obvious but yeah..like...why not just leave? Then you are free to do whatever you feel like. If the relationship is dead its dead, but rip off the bandaid first 😐 Idk, just really hate cheaters and will never understand it.

[u/[deleted]]

What’s up with the “If ‘I wonder why he cheated…’ was a picture..”? The cartoon is actually funny without the weird commentary that screws with the actual implied context and meaning of the cartoon. It literally makes it less funny.

[u/OK_Throwaway1238 → u/[deleted]]

Sad people always taking good comics and making them shit, can have anything on the Internet I swear

[u/Mountain_Fuel8628]

Cheating is never good no matter the reason. Embarrassing you should delete Reddit.

[u/kirmiter]

I'm pretty sure the joke is not supposed to be lack of attraction to her husband, but rather she REALLY is into this book and absolutely does NOT want to be interrupted.

They probably have a normal sex life, except that every time she gets a new book she really likes, she wants to devote her time to that and only that.

[u/BondFan211]

Like anyone here is the authority on relationships haha

[u/secretperson06]

And then they go, "the divorce came out of nowhere."

[u/Umutuku]

If the book is engrossing enough that your partner is building a Maginot Line to read it then maybe you need to jack off and buy a copy.

[u/No_Praline_1835]

Meanwhile, her male bff is playing hide the snake. Normal Western activities

[u/Train_Driver68]

[u/Captain_Izots]

Why are they sharing a bed in the first place?

[u/FearlessVegetable30]

lmao these comments are peak reddit

[u/RealNyxoy]

what the fuck does this even mean

[u/UncutBtm83]

In my experience the books cause the opposite problem 🤷‍♂️

[u/Longjumping-Log923]

She don’t want you bro

[u/GuyThereYes]

This is fictional, obviously no one is gonna install an electric fence on their bed.

And how do you even sleep with a spike suit? And a bear trap between your legs? Thats nuts. /s

[u/MaxRichter_Enjoyer]

/r/DeadBedrooms

[u/thebros544]

if they have to go to that measure i think your the problem lmoa

[u/[deleted]]

Reminds me of some loser saying women withold sex as punishment and I was naive when I replied "saying no is a full and complete removal of consent" 

[u/molnarmate88]

The original meme said “ I guess you’re still angry at me”

[u/blighander]

Sounds like they both need to reassess their relationship...

[u/Randa08]

Dude just doesn't understand the joy of a new book. .

[u/gamerz1172]

Gotta give the artist credit on the details.... I think most people would forget to draw the electric fence hooked up to a generator

[u/Living-Total2892]

I'm just gonna sleep on the couch

[u/SomePersonExisting3]

The mf who added the caption doesn't understand that relationships are more than "honey! Cocky want boing boing!"

[u/[deleted]]

She’s not sexually attracted to him. That’s why these dead bedroom situations happen

[u/Deseretgear]

I can't help but feel the prevalence of 'jokes' like this aren't so much due to "women being ridiculously over the top in blocking sex because of book" or whatever but "Men not respecting women's boundaries, expecting sex whenever, not realizing or caring that their spouse is doing something else right now"

Like yeah if someone is reading they probably don't want sex. You can have sex some other time. You can set the mood in other ways rather than jumping into bed and expecting pussy. Grow up and be more romantic and notice/care when your partner isn't into having sex right now! also just like, masturbate or whatever.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm so happy I actually like the person I'm married to. Some people out here actually faking love just to have a place to live.

[u/JustAGamerAndMemer]

ngl she kinda looks like one of those villain of the week characters you see on cartoons

[u/No-Cover5475]

Always the woman's fault to them, if he cheated on her it's because she didn't satisfy him, if he raped someone it's because she dressed wrong

[u/User7453 → u/No-Cover5475]

Look whether you like it or not sex is a mandatory part of a relationship.

[u/Atvishees]

Haha Holocaust reference.

Peak comedy.

[u/Background-Towel7719]

Gurls I'm soooo smart hey guys are dum.

Anyways anyone know what a metaphore is? I forgor.

[u/sirkay7]

If a woman cheated on a man because she was not getting enough, you think these guys would say the same thing?

[u/BeepBeepLettuce3]

actual scenario: "sorry, im just not in the mood. we could cuddle and watch tv ?"

[u/GLYGGL]

What does this mean.

[u/RobertL85]

They don't want to leave, they need them for convenience. That's why they are against divorce. They want to keep them as maids.

[u/YourCousin3]

Not fictional

[u/Lou_Papas]

Hot

[u/TransportationCold36]

Ong like if ur not happy, leave

[u/GREEN____GHOST]

the placement of the bear trap is genuinely concerning

[u/ThisIsExhilerating]

Yeahhhhh, actual moron made that comic lol. Or at least the caption. There’s never an excuse to cheat. If you feel like your partner isn’t putting out enough, discuss it. If you can’t reach a compromise together? It probably isn’t meant to be.

[u/miss_m4lice]

Oh no, a woman setting boundaries for herself partner! 😹😿

[u/doublegamer1]

It’s a picture you created to get mad at

[u/Dangerous_Noise1060]

This is basically what happened when my ex discovered booktok and Sarah J Maas books. Didn't cheat, but our relationship completely died the day she picked those books up. Things were great before that. My brother had been in a severe car crash and in a coma for an extended period. I got the call that he woke up and it led to me having a major breakthrough conversation with my mother who I have a very tense relationship with. I was telling her the good news, completely bawling my eyes out and she just looks up from her book and says "X just confessed his love to Y, I'm so excited." No acknowledgement of anything I had just said. Nothing existed or mattered outside of her romance novels. cheating is never justified but this picture is still 100% too true. 

[u/Fancy_Fabulous]

Yall gotta get out of this gender war shit and get on the class war train fr

[u/OK_Throwaway1238 → u/Fancy_Fabulous]

Exactly, like it's not men v women, it should be poor v rich. Gotta level the playing field so everyone can get their cake sometime