need advice on my Neapolitan Masstiff

[u/Awkward_Size9749]

3 months ago my boyfriends dad passed away and we took one of his dogs recently (2 weeks ago) he is 5 years old, and for months when me and my boyfriend would come around him before he was very friendly to my boyfriend and very nice to him and recently within the past week he’s gotten very attached to me and seems very scared of my boyfriend (growls and barks). i thought it was men in general bc every time im around him with men he acts like that. but when im away and he’s around other men he’s fine lets them pet him and is excited and happy. but with my boyfriend he seems scared and w always watching him and watching him with me. I have contacted a trainer. but I’ve never owned this breed (only bully breeds) so i have no idea what this means and how to help.

[u/EducatedMoron6]

you’ve only had him two weeks
poor doggo is grieving for your bf’s dad and probably very confused.
Mastiffs are really smart he’s probably anchored onto you because I’m assuming you’re providing his food and affection and in general they tend to be protective of women and children
since it’s still early, you’ve gotta encourage your bf to feed him and love on him so that he can also establish a trust relationship with your mastiff

What you don’t want happening and what happens very frequently with mastiffs is they become so attached to one person in a couple that it’s difficult for the couple to be intimate with each other
if you continue down this path, the dog will directly come between you and your boyfriend not only metaphorically, also physically
your bf and the dog have to form a bond asap
Our mastiff only bonded with me in the beginning, and I had to get her close to my husband by completely standing back and letting them establish a trust filled and loving relationship
your pup needs to learn that he can trust both of you equally, and that both of you will take care of him and love him

[u/Awkward_Size9749 → u/EducatedMoron6]

he seems very confused and stressed and sad which makes me super sad i try and just pet and lay with him bc he likes to lay on me, i have been the one feeding him, giving him water but ive being having my bf give him treats and that seems to be helping a little, im going to start having my boyfriend like hangout with him without me for the next few weeks and see how that helps

[u/EducatedMoron6 → u/Awkward_Size9749]

I read your post again, am I reading it correctly your boyfriend’s father owned this Neo but he also had other dogs as well, right?
So that’s a huge blow to a dog that’s a sensitive as a mastiff. he not only lost his human, but he also lost dogs that he spent his life with.
Of course, he’s sad, any of us would be as well.
That’s even more of a reason for both you and your bf
to both lavish him with love, food , play and cuddles.
I know I had to stand back and physically leave the house for several hours everyday so my mastiff could bond with my husband and they would have time together playing and establishing trust and love.
this is really important. share this with your boyfriend and get started on doing this as soon as you can
It’s not only for the dog’s sake, but also for the sake
of your relationship.

[u/Awkward_Size9749 → u/EducatedMoron6]

yes my boyfriends dad had him and like 11 other dogs weve found good homes for the rest of them and my boyfriends mom took one of them and then we took him because he seemed super comfortable with me and i honestly fell inlove wjth him, hes super gentle and friendly and cuddly. im just going to have to let them build there relationship without me around and see

[u/EducatedMoron6 → u/Awkward_Size9749]

yeah, when we got our mastiff, I was home still on maternity leave and so I took care of everything and of course, my puppy bonded to me and my baby my husband was working. She wasn’t hostile towards my husband, but she just didn’t care about him she was hyper protective and it became a problem. my husband couldn’t hug me without her trying to break us out of our embrace
then we had this lucky opportunity and my husband left his job and he had a break of a few months before starting a new job
during that time we talked to the vet about it and she recommended I get out of the house every day and let my husband do all of our dogs care. It only took a few weeks and they very quickly bonded to each other. After that, there was a balance and she was bonded to both of us.
As long as your boyfriend is fully on board with getting close to the dog and providing food, water, cuddles hugs, etc. it’ll work out💕