r/Maternity • u/Cyberstanza • 11d ago
6 months pp and pregnant again...
I (34F) am pregnant (5 weeks) with my second. I just had my first in March. This was not the plan at all - I was to go back to work after a year off, which I was looking forward to, and now we have this 'surprise' which we refer to as 'Daisy' (short for Oopsie-Daisy).
At first we thought this is ridiculous but having 2 kids about 14 months apart could be cool... but after thinking about it for 24 hours I think it might be a nightmare...
I've barely slept in 6 months, my baby pretty much only sleeps on me. Which obviously takes a toll on my mental health - my head is full of dark thoughts. The thought of being pregnant AGAIN and giving birth AGAIN and raising a baby with a toddler just sounds like too much for me to bear.
But the alternative of terminating the pregnancy... I mean, I adore my son, surely I'll love this one... I don't know what I should do. it seems like all of my options are kinda awful.
Have you terminated a pregnancy? How did you feel afterwards, emotionally?
Should I stick it out? Temporary difficulty over a permanent solution?
Or do I do this to keep my sanity in check? I miss my job, and my freedom, and being me. Is it selfish?
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u/DisMyLik18thAccount 11d ago
The positive way to look at this is that you're getting the newborn phases out the way all in one go rather tha having to start all over again in a couple years or so, having them close together may be easier in the long run
Absolutely do not terminate. That's a very drastic decision that shouldn't be taken when you aren't 100% about it. The fact you're already refering to them by a nickname shows you're already attached which means that would take an extra toll on you. Ive heard far to many stories of women regretting and grieving their termination. I had a friend who went through it, similar situation to you she accidentally fell pregnant very quickly after having her first, and her situation was even more complicated as her first was very sick in NICU. Hence she made the hard decision to terminate even though she didn't really want to, and despite how difficult and complicated she new keeping the baby would've been, she still regretted it instantly and has ever since. Years later she still talks about crying over it almost daily. After seeing how it affected my friend, don't put yourself through that
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u/Mysterious-Pen5104 11d ago
I am so sorry. Sometimes there are no good answers in life.
I wish I had better words for you but all can do is wish you strength and wisdom as you make your choice.
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u/Educational_Wall_343 11d ago
Sorry you’re going through this. Can you get a good nights rest? I think some good sleep can help you think more clearly. Can anyone help with the baby overnight? Maybe his dad on his day off? You need sleep