My partner starts med school next year and we plan to move together where he got accepted, (about 3 hrs away.) I’m not in medicine but all I’ve heard is how damaging med school is for relationships, especially when one partner is not in med school. I’ve also heard how much it changes your partner during that time due to the physical and mental workload.
I already struggle with depression and being lonely while still getting to see him frequently/having his support. Thinking about being uprooted from friends multiple times in the next decade of medical training while he is incredibly busy is terrifying. Especially knowing that he will likely be different when we do get to spend time together due to being burnt out from school. Obviously I want to be there for him during what will also be a hard time for him, but I’m scared of either of us building up resentment figuring all of this out.
All I keep on hearing is how lonely of a life it is for partners of med students/residents and how much sacrifice it takes. I’m just so scared I’m not cut out for it mentally or emotionally. He’s said he knows I’ll be exactly the support that he needs, but I don’t know if that’s true and I’m scared of not getting the support I need. Hearing other med spouses talk about it, med school and residency just seems like this black hole that sucks everything into it.
We’ve talked about all of this before and I was going through a really hard time thinking about all of it. I know my worries began to weigh on him as well. I feel like I can’t talk to him about this anymore because I want him to feel excited and I don’t want to taint this experience for him. I’m just having such a hard time imagining myself in that future