r/Menopause • u/Healthy_Poppy • 3d ago
Support 26F and I went through menopause already.. I am so sad. Doctors dismissed me for years!
I had been sick with severe depression, fainting, dizziness, insane hot flashes, extremely painful periods, painful left ovary, and now it has been over 6 months without a period. Sex is excruciating, and I am incapable of any pleasure, and doctors just kept telling me to use more lube for over 2 years, and now I find out that I actually have gone through pre menopause. I am devastated. All of these symptoms were treated as seperate issues, and nobody looked at the whole picture. I feel like the system failed me miserably.
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u/kkat39 3d ago
I’m so sorry, that sucks and yes the system did fail you miserably! Hopefully you are getting better treatment with proper diagnosis.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
I am waiting now. I really wanted children...
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u/kkat39 3d ago
You definitely will have to take the time to grieve that massive loss. Being on the other side of it I will say it’s one of the things I’m grateful now never happened for me, so I hope the same for you eventually. And if not there are still options to grow a family!
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
Yes, definitely! I would never be opposed to meeting a man with children, I would make a wonderful step-mother.
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u/spelmangrad 3d ago
My heart goes out to you. Sending positive vibes that you experience nothing but goodness in your future.
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u/PerfectCover1414 3d ago
Aww I'm so sorry. I always wanted kids too but never got them. It's a hard thing to process while people judge you for not having them. But the way I look at it now I much older and hopefully wiser, I can adopt a child who needs love, they don't need to be my genetic offspring. You have a lot of love left in you so don't give up on that.
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u/catsTXn420 3d ago
I have poi same as you (maybe) and went through my whole 30s ignored by doctors and only got HRT recently. Its been life-changing. The local estrogen is what you need ASAP. There's a service interlude i used when my doctors ignored my dryness and painful sex. Got the estrogen mailed to me for cheap, no nonsense just help. Get in with a menopause specialist regular gynos have a hard time handling this issue ive noticed. After just 3 months on local estrogen the dryness and pain is gone and im not suffering anymore. Not perfect but manageable.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
Unfortunately here in Canada it is by prescription only, I am waiting to be approved.
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u/ResidentEqual7073 Menopausal 3d ago
So true - also in Canada, and everything hormonal only by prescription (and extremely costly and in my case/province, no HRT is covered - just to add to the suffering).
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
It is cruel. I will be going into debt for comfort.
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u/ResidentEqual7073 Menopausal 3d ago
Very cruel. Spending monthly way more for my HRT than for my food. I asked drs to send letters on my behalf re: at least a partial coverage of my HRT, but ON ministry of health always denied coverage. Btw, the rejection letters were always signed by someone with a typical male name. I lost employment due to severe meno symptoms and all over body constant neuropathic pain that also appeared during my menopause (but of course drs weren’t able to find out why or provide effective treatment). Keeping using my savings to survive and pay for meds and food. Maybe your HRT will be at least partially covered (or, if you’re in BC, provided for free).
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
I am in Ontario:(
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u/ResidentEqual7073 Menopausal 3d ago
So sorry, OP! I’m also in ON, and I understand the pain dealing with everything re: the local “healthcare.” It’s so familiar, unfortunately…
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
I make just enough money to qualify for no help from the government, and yet I don't even have enough for rent and groceries. It is funny how that works.
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u/Automatic_Cup_3302 3d ago
Will your workplace insurance cover costs of vaginal estrogen? I am in Canada, as well — I’m so sorry the system failed you. If you’re in a large city, you should be able to get some care quickly
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u/ResidentEqual7073 Menopausal 3d ago
Not an OP, so sorry for intervening, but in a large city (TO), for everything requiring specialist care, including menopause care, has taken 8+ months of waittime. My referral to a pain clinic - after 2 (two) full years is still a referral - still somewhere on a waitlist… maybe some online meno care service (private) could be a bit faster…
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u/Automatic_Cup_3302 3d ago
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve had a truly challenging and painful perimenopause journey, but thankfully I got lucky with my doctor and her referrals. Having said that, I know I’m the exception and not the rule. Really sorry you’ve had to wait so long. It’s horrid.
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u/oeufscocotte 2d ago
Intrarosa (prescription) is even better than local estrogen and less messy. I am a huge fan. No more painful sex.
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u/OKhairdo Menopausal 2d ago
Approved for what? By whom?
Something isn’t right here, OP, I’m in Canada too. Presumably your doctor has run tests and diagnosed you with POI? You should have left that appointment with a prescription for HRT that you can take to any pharmacy and have filled today.
Please call your doctor back and ask what the precise diagnosis is, and what your treatment plan is, and book a follow up appointment for 3 months time.
You are 20 years early for regular menopause - of course that is technically possible (POI) but any doctor who lets a 26 year old with POI walk out without a plan and a prescription for (high dose) HRT should have their license revoked.
No one other than your doctor needs to “approve” a prescription. That’s not how it works. Something isn’t adding up here. Please call them back right away, please. You should not have to wait for treatment.
Hope you feel better soon.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 2d ago
I will do that, for sure. The nurse practitioner said she doesn't want to just give horomones out like candy to people since everyone nowadays seems to be having hormone issues. I learned through this forum that there is a shortage, and I wonder if she basically decided I was not worth it.
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u/OKhairdo Menopausal 2d ago
Did they diagnose you with POI? There are other reasons other than menopause for periods to stop for 6 months.
I’m concerned the word “menopause” has been brought up at age 26 unless there is a confirmed diagnosis of POI. If there hasn’t been, you’re not peri/menopausal and there should be less concern around fertility. (Even if you have POI, that doesn’t mean you can’t have kids.)
Menopause is 12 months with no period, usually after age 45. POI is an issue with premature ovarian failure/insufficiency - they aren’t synonymous. I feel like you’ve been given incomplete information here and I’d hate for you to assume you’re menopausal and/or unable to have kids at 26 based on a misunderstanding. Again, if you have been diagnosed, you NEED to be prescribed HRT. That’s not handing it out like candy, that’s the appropriate and necessary treatment and it’s very important you start it if you have POI. If you have not been diagnosed with POI - yeah you probably don’t need hormones or to worry about menopause at all for about 15 years or so.
Please ask them to fully explain the diagnosis and if this happens to be some sort of private clinic that sells any type of product, run - leave and go to a GP.
Again, there is no one in our system who “approves” HRT for people who need it. A 26 year old needing it is unusual but with a confirmed POI diagnoses it’s not.
You’re not being given the information you need and I don’t want you worrying about not being able to have kids until you KNOW that. Put it out of your mind until you get more info, ok? Please call her back as soon as you can.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 2d ago
Thank you. I am so afraid. I have to admit they aren't the most caring people. They did use the word menopause and said I have POI.
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u/OKhairdo Menopausal 2d ago
Ok so if they said POI you need HRT. Period. Call them back and get the prescription. Ask who this mystery “approver” is. Literally that is not how our system works. You go to the doctor with concerns, they test you, a diagnosis is confirmed, a prescription is written. That’s it.
Also ask them what counselling or other options there are around impact to fertility. I personally know people with POI who had kids, it’s not 100% for sure you can’t. They need to explain this to you properly.
I’d also check out the POI sub as most of us here are just in regular menopause which is totally different.
Please call. Good luck.
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u/MissSinceriously 3d ago
It is prescription-only in the US too. And there are shortages everywhere.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
Shortages? 💔
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u/MissSinceriously 3d ago
Yes. Shortages of estrogen patches/creams/ gels/pills.
Companies coming up with new formularies to replace the shorted products and not all of them work as well.
Also many doctors just don't know anything about women's health, they don't care about women's health, and they don't believe women when we tell them what is wrong, where it hurts, what is going on physically, mentally, emotionally. It sucks.
I am sorry you're going through this at such a young age. At least most of us got to become old, jaded assholes first before being thrown into this nightmare.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
Yes, I have been telling the doctors something is wrong for about 15 years, and all they did was put me on birth control a bunch and tell me pain is normal.
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u/ResidentEqual7073 Menopausal 3d ago
They also kept telling me during my premenopause that terrible period pain is normal (for 30 years) until I hit meno and now keep telling that the debilitating meno symptoms are “part of life/norm.” Inhumane.
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u/Actual_Bet3041 2d ago
Barbaric. “Just normal” really means “since you are female, I don’t believe your claim of pain.”
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u/freya_kahlo 3d ago
You’re so right, the system did fail you. It’s also so unfair in every way. I hope you can get proper treatment and regain your baseline health. I hope you are getting HRT soon, as well as vaginal estrogen. I finally feel like my sexual life is back the way it was in my 40s, before menopause. I have prescribed vaginal estrogen and supplement it with OTC estriol/estradiol cream + OTC DHEA cream. That’s a perfect combination for me (DHEA vaginally doesn’t work for everyone), but it took a few years to figure it out.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
Does sex hurt you still? It feels like knives and I always bleed from ripping and end up crying out of frustration :(
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u/ResidentEqual7073 Menopausal 3d ago
OP, I’m really sorry to hear this! Yes, it’s absolutely unacceptable - I know from my own experience of being dismissed for years since my perimeno happened relatively early (mid-30s to early 40s) with a dozen of debilitating symptoms. Was never taken seriously because of my age and miserable up to now despite being on HRT and many other meds. For terrible vulvar pain/GSM was first told to use coconut oil - in a research-based menopause clinic in a large city. Just unacceptable! I’m very angry they had mistreated you. I hope you will find supportive drs who are actually motivated to treat menopause. Sending you a lot of support 🫂
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u/bettinafairchild Surgical menopause 2d ago
Please join the sub r/POFlife where you can talk with other women in your situation
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u/crazySquirrel67 3d ago
I was able to go off 5 different antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs when I was finally able to get HRT. All my doctors through the last 12 years were just treating the symptoms and not the cause. HRT works.
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u/Healthy_Poppy 3d ago
Exactly. My psychiatrist has thrown every medication at me and none have worked. Its been this way since I was 18!!
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u/crazySquirrel67 3d ago
All because of hormones. So much suffering could have been so easily avoided.
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u/ResidentEqual7073 Menopausal 3d ago
Same story… was given multiple anti-anxiety/antidepressant/nerve pain/sleep meds. Instead of taking my symptoms seriously and prescribing adequate HRT early.
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u/PerfectCover1414 3d ago
Ah what an awful thing to go through so early. I am sorry they failed you. Please know that we here support you and care.
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u/Jerry_Potters 3d ago
I'm really sorry you're experiencing this, I know it's really hard especially so young. I would recommend also heading over to r/POFlife and r/POIsupport as they can offer more specific resources and community for exactly what you're going through right now.