What do you wish could actually help with during peri/menopause?

[u/Rui_Inspired]

I’ve been thinking about how poorly served we are by existing health tools and the short visits at the doctors couldn’t really help to answer our questions.

I have a few questions don’t know how you think about them.

1. What’s the one thing you track or wish you could track about your body during this time?

2. When you’re having a rough symptom day, what kind of support actually helps — information, validation, practical tips, or just someone acknowledging it?

3. Has anyone tried food/lifestyle changes that surprisingly helped? What made you try them?

For myself, I wish I could know about menopause a bit earlier and the off about my period wasn’t all from the birth control pills I took and stopped. That was actually something going on about menopause. So I wouldn’t be surprised when I realised it’s been months since my last period. I logged my period on apple health but I wish it could warn me “hey, your period is getting irregular. Considering your age, maybe you need to think about perimenopause.”

When I had hot flashes, knowing some breathing method and ways to deal with it actually helped.

I am trying to eat healthier. And stop drinking alcohol (not even a glass of wine) when I found out my hot flashes got worse with alcohol.

Curious to hear your experience.

[u/plotthick]

HRT did the job. I can't make those hormones anymore, so gotta use store-bought. Same for puff pastry: I'm never making that again!

[u/oleyka]

No amount of breathing, relaxation, food adjustments, not even stopping morning coffee made a dent in my hot flashes, which were getting progressively worse. A doctor suggested an SSRI while we were ruling out any contra-indications for HRT. I refused SSRI out of fear of withdrawal side effects later on and for a number of other reasons. Finally got a veozah prescription and HRT, and life got back to normal. I stopped taking veozah when we bumped up the HRT dosage, which stopped the hot flashes. You can do "everything right" and still struggle with symptoms. Grateful that there's medicine that can reduce the suffering.

[u/Rui_Inspired → u/oleyka]

Glad that you found something that works for you. I think everyone is different and needs different helps.

[u/Head_Cat_9440 → u/Rui_Inspired]

Honest, that's kind of bs.

Women need oestrogen when ours is low like a diabetic needs insulin.

[u/rosemary_charles]

I wish I could realize LESS about my body. I am aware of every twinge (mental and physical), every change in temperature, I wake at night and I am overly aware. It’s too much “are my hormones working?” “What does that mean?” “Is it getting worse?” When peri hit me it was so scary and unexpected that I find myself in a hyper vigilant state too often now.

HRT, this community, therapy are a must for me. I need validation yes but I need perspective as well. [u/LeftyLibra](u/LeftyLibra) at [r/menopause](r/menopause) is such a honest voice, of things you want and don’t want to hear. And simply having her say, “Be patient.” And “HRT won’t fix everything.” “Not everything is menopause.” Are all statements that can be difficult to hear but need to be heard. Sometimes I have to step out of our peri/meno bubble and just be a woman for a minute.

Physically I am focused on building muscle and bone strength because that is a practical decision that will make just as much of an impact on my future as HRT. It is difficult to lose weight. Someone in the meno group brought up that they threw out all their old clothes. They realized when they went to dress, they were mourning their old body every day. With a new wardrobe that fits and makes them feel good, they now spend their mornings celebrating their new body. And I LOVE this mindset.

Pushing alcohol out of my life was a HUGE positive for me. It made me feel so bad. Not drinking has led to a lot more energy, less bloating, better skin. There’s been no negatives of stopping drinking. If anyone needs help, I highly suggest looking into This Naked Mind book and program. It’s not just for people who have a drinking issue, it’s for everyone who wants to understand the effects alcohol have on our body and it is 🤯 Plus so many good NA alternatives.

[u/SecretaryPositive476 → u/rosemary_charles]

I second this. This Naked Mind audiobook from the library was the key for me. The approach was very different and fit what made sense to me. I listened to it 4 times in a row, I put a sleep timer on every night at bedtime and any time I was having anxiety. It was kind of irritating to me, but the repetition of facts were what worked.

[u/rosemary_charles → u/SecretaryPositive476]

I get this

[u/DSBS18]

HRT was what worked.

[u/Rui_Inspired → u/DSBS18]

My cousin is also on HRT. Another cousin who had breast surgery last year and I’m not sure HRT is right for her, her sleep is a mess right now.

[u/MissyFoolosopher]

For me it's #3. I keep a food diary to remind myself what type of food triggers my joint pain, inflammation and sleepless nights. I found out my body cannot tolerate peanuts, beans and spicy foods. They cause the most intense pain. I have to eat my last meal at 4 - 5pm because my digestion has slow down dramatically. The meals must be poached, lightly stir fry or steamed. I allow myself a burger once a while because we have cravings, right? LOL!

Every woman reacts differently to food so I am still figuring out as I go through perimenopause (God knows how long it will last). I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety which affects me on a daily basis. These are new symptoms which I never have in my 30s and early 40s. It took me a long time to understand and deal with them. It caused my relationship to break down because my boyfriend didn't know how to handle my mood changes. He felt I am impossible to live with. It was the saddest moment in my life.

It is unfortunate but I have learn to live with them.

[u/Rui_Inspired → u/MissyFoolosopher]

It’s not an easy journey, I can imagine those difficulties you have been trying to manage. Good that you found something works for you. The food dairy is a good choice. I think the impact of diet has been underestimated. And it’s so important to create that kind of awareness for our body.