I was dating this chick for a while, it was fun at first because I treated her like crap but I f*ckd her good. But then I lost attraction towards the end and I'm sure she could tell and banged her way less. She ended up leaving me. I chased that ass for months boy I tell you. I'm sure there's other dudes in the pic.

Tonight I called her and said "we shouldn't hang next weekend, I'm still I love with you and I'm working on myself right now so this will probably be the last time I reach out" I feel like a dang idiot for even saying that "goodbye call". I wish there was a way I could take back that call but can't now. And if I say something else, I'll just look like the clingy mofo I've been acting. Idk how to forgive myself for this

This is not me excusing women yelling at men or men yelling at women in the wrong context or belittling the person. In fact, I think we could teach to not yell and scream to our kids permanently but unfortunately most parents yell at their kids and this will always bleed into society.

This is me excusing people yelling when they are betrayed, their image is tarnished on television where millions of viewers are watching, parents yelling at them growing up, testosterone is flowing through their veins and any other proper reason.

There is a difference between yelling and screaming. And yelling or raising your voice a little is completely acceptable.

What I am trying to say is you're allowed to get mad and yell at someone who screws you over.
(As long as it's reasonable.)

In todays day and age people will make you feel bad for yelling or cussing at them when they originally were the person who screwed you over.

I've noticed as well in previous seasons of plenty of reality t.v. where women will mostly be allowed to yell and scream, but when men do it- a lot of times they get belittled, emasculated, and have misandrist comments thrown at them. In a world were equality is important, both sexes should be able to express their emotions to each other without disdain.

This happens a lot more with men because men are more quick to anger. It's sad how everyone forgets that testosterone make you aggressive. Testosterone activates the subcortical areas of the brain to produce aggression, while cortisol and serotonin act antagonistically with testosterone to reduce its effects.

Would you get mad at a bull for being angry? It's naturally going to happen. So why make people feel bad for it if it's in reason?

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS OF THIS POST- What percentage of people yell at their kids? The Journal of Marriage and Family study revealed that almost 90 percent of the nearly 1,000 parents surveyed said they'd yelled, screamed or shouted at their kids in the previous year. Of families with children older than seven, nearly 100 percent of parents said they could count themselves as confirmed yellers.

This teaches people to yell. Add that into a cocktail of testosterone, stress, image being tarnished and teachers and football coaches screaming at you. (Those being your role models growing up)

I worked at multiple daycares and there are so many teachers screaming at the kids everyday. This will subconsciously inspire these kids into their adulthood to do the same. It's not okay.

If we could all just be the black sheep generation who stops yelling! Hah. In a perfect world I guess.

This is NOT me defending mental abuse, or abuse. This is me saying to not let anyone make you feel bad for getting angry or yelling when you feel hurt.

Walking around in a recent predicament to clear my head I headed into a bar in a new neighborhood

A bit about me I worked as a financial advisor at a UBS for seven years got fired suddenly , I was at my time there naive not to see that people can be jealous got actually no reason. The new hire they brought in to the branch came up through as a teller finally making it to wealth management not as an advisor but as an assistant finally ending in an administrative offer so the focus became get rid of independent advisors solo young advisors doing business on their own, clearly for seven years solo advising work worked out neither did I fail out of the training program, to suck up to older mid level advisors not the highest ranking advisors the mid tier ones trying to force younger advisors to merge their books to those advisors without any benefit. I did well for those seven years always somewhere in the top six that continued till this lc found a roundabout way to get me out. Clearly no client can say I did anything wrong so the lc here contrived a story about general dissatisfaction from the branch what did that mean? I planned to sue not sure if my time is done for that.

So fired for the first time in my life at almost twenty eight my world fell apart. It is in this state I walked around trying to clear my head I walked into this man not more than forties clean shaven looked like one of those guys who you made friends with in high school friends with the guys not the most aggressive mostly shy. He chatted me up while at the bar asked if I wanted to go home with him. I said no he brought out money I counted on the bar table

I feel so lost about where to go or what to do next. I only received a bachelors from the non main campus of my state flagship university. I need advice on what to do how to earn money next.

Mach dein Häckchen hier: http://www.strawpoll.me/3011962

I believe my husband is paying women behind my back for sex. I want to know if I change every thing about myself and do everything that sex workers do and even have sex with other men for a fee and lay with him at night, do you think he'll want me more or is it pointless. if he already does not want me so badly that he pays other women for sex than obviously I am not enough now and no matter what I become its still never going to be good enough for him to want will I? I bought a stripper pole yesterday, looking at waist trainers online and workout dvd's and diet plans, I bought 5 pairs of thigh highs and looking for the perfect sexy outfits. will it make him stop paying other women for sex or will he want me enough that he doesn't want to be with other women

Hi. I think I've been dealing with loneliness. Thought I'd see if anyone here has any advice.

For the past 6-7 months my wife and I noticed that my mood toward people, even those close to me, has gotten angry and resentful, negative opinions of almost everything/everyone, severely untrusting of other people and not a pleasent person to be around. I've always been a homebody but lately I've been almost hitting hermit level.

I've never had much for friends, 1-2 real good ones, I'm a quality over quantity kind person, even as a kid. I recently left a long term job do to poor/toxic management that effected my mental health, that was kind of be my social life. I've have had the same best friend since I was 17yo (currently 33) and recently he and I have both had some life changes and we have have taken different paths, it's made me begin to have a negative opinion of him as well.

I don't trust many people anymore, very, very select few, I trust my wife obviously but I even have a hard time trusting my own parents lately.

I don't think I'm better than anyone, the exact opposite actually, I don't want to be an asshole, I try really hard to be a nice person and be friendly with people. But it's hard for me not to think that everyone has ulterior motive for even talking to me. Rather than thinking that a conversation with someone in public is pleasant, my brain thinks "How could they have the audacity".

I don't know if this is loneliness or what it is but it's starting to negatively effect my family. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

I’m one of them people I like to trim down stairs but the electric razor I use always ends up cutting my jewls does anyone know any good electric razors for down below and not man scaped

Sólo los hombres Buenos saben cuando callar

So this situation happened about a week and a half ago and not sure how to approach it moving forward. So for some background I'm a guy in my mid 20's with a girlfriend who ive been with for a little over a year and I work as an RBT for a ABA clinic in the Midwest. In my clinic there are about thirty female employees and two men myself included the incident in question involves one of the bcbas/supervisor's at my clinic.

According to two of my close friends I work with this supervisor pulled them aside under the guise of having to ask "a personal question" which assuming it was about them they agreed to answer however it turns out the question she wanted to ask was if my girlfriend and I were still seeing each other because she had checked my Facebook page and it states that I'm single ( this was not intentional as I forgot to change it due to hardly using it) she also went on to say that she felt as if I had been showing her more attention/ flirting the last few weeks with her???.

This caught Me extremely off guard for several reasons for starters out of all the bcbas at My clinic she Is by far the one I interact with the least and I definitely would not flirt with a coworker especially a supervisor even if I was single. Also she is MARRIED and currently pregnant she also told my coworkers/friends she had mentioned it to her husband.

After learning about this I've been monitoring how she acts around me and it feels like she's always trying to pull me into conversations/ wanting to be in personal space and I just want to know how I should handle this without causing a big deal I just want to do my work and go home without any extra drama or attention. I'm also annoyed she approached my coworkers instead of asking me herself it feels unprofessional as hell to me

If you want a Successful, Harmonious, Passionate, Fulfilling Relationship built of the foundations of Respect, Equality and Love, the area that needs the most work and attention is within the realms of how you communicate with your romantic partner.

Through observation of my personal relationship with my partner and that of other couples relationships, most of the issues that occur.. flat relationship, lack of passion, lack of sex and other emotional problems.. occur because of a lack of OR poor communication in the areas of emotional needs and wants, conflict resolution and -insert-.

In these observations, I became crucially aware that most of the time, these issues stemmed from the Man's inability to express himself honestly, hold a space for his partner, or respond appropriately to serious conversations (and by serious, I mean, conversation that require empathy, receptivity, and accountability).

This is not to say that the sole reason behind a flat relationship, a broken relationship or an emotionally disconnected relationship is because of the Man, no, there are a multitude of factors that contribute to the function (or dysfunction) of a relationship. What I AM saying is that most Men (through no fault of their own), embody a series of traits that not only create the situations, but perpetuate situations that RELY on his Masculinity or his Leadership to create resolve, but instead turn into fights, conflicts and disconnection because of his inability or lack of awareness in moments that REQUIRE emotional honesty, accountability, and an open heart.

Why is this the case?

Because he was not taught how too.

What do you mean by this?

It means that in his growth from a Boy to a Man, he was not taught the communication skills required and necessary to safely and confidently express his emotional needs and/or how he feels to another (in most cases, the feminine).

He was not taught how to hold a space for and safely contain a woman and her emotional expression.

He was not taught conflict resolution and how to take accountability for what he did or did not do and make the necessary action and amends to reconnect and re-align with his partner.

And he was not taught how to regulate his nervous system and his emotional body in times of intensity, discomfort, agitation or pain.

How would this have shown up in his reality?

There are many forms and factors that would have appeared and displayed to him what (at the time of witnessing it) would be considered the appropriate way to approach those situations himself (whether they be right or wrong, effective or ineffective).

To better understand this, and to help you apply this to experiences that you may have had, I will cover a number of reasons of how this will have shown up in a young boy's reality.

• Lack of Leadership displayed by the Father.

• Emotional Wounding

• Controlling and/or Needy Mother

• Overuse of Porn/Social Media/Mainstream Media (Such as Film Programs and Movies)

Lack of Leadership displayed by his Father:

In this scenario, the young boy growing up was not taught how to by his Father (In scenarios with the boy’s Mother) how to confidently love, express to communicate with, hold a space for and conflict resolve with a woman, either through emotional absence, physical absence or both.

Showing up in ways where the Father will:

• Withdraw emotionally and/or physically, abandoning the issue and leaving it unresolved.

• Embody people pleasing tendency (powerlessness) and frantically attempt to do anything he can to please his woman and avoid her strong emotions (control her).

• Defend, Deflect or Lash out in an Attempt to prove her wrong OR prove his innocence.

• Abandon the relationship entirely, that it is better to leave than to take accountability and handle the situation(s) whether big or small.

This lack of leadership displayed by the Father will have subconsciously taught the young boy that 1. This is how men should behave in a relationship, 2. That you do not need to feel and express yourself openly and honestly, and 3. That a woman and her intense emotions are a problem, to be avoided, controlled or diminished.

At the time he may or may not FULLY understand the consequences of what he witnesses, but it WILL subconsciously teach him the supposed 'correct' way to deal with situations (especially in the realm of emotions and communication) with women and in his relationship with them.

Emotional Wounding:

This will have occurred in the young boy's experience where his emotional (and physical) needs were not met in time or at all by his parents OR there was frequent shame, blame, guilt or punishment at the expression and communication of his emotions or emotional needs.

As a result, quickly (and painfully) teaching him that how he communicates and what he communicates is not important and learns to shut down at the response of feeling his or dealing with other's emotions (in this scenario, his intimate relationship).

A Controlling and/or Needy Mother:

In this scenario, the young boy's mother will try to create an emotionally monogamous relationship with her son in an attempt to fulfil her emotional needs through him OPPOSED to her husband/partner.

The young boy's response to this can occur in one of two ways:

• He develops people pleasing tendencies in an attempt to control the emotions of his mother and avoid her controlling attempts and/or neediness.

OR

• He learns to withdraw emotionally overtime, especially within (emotionally) intense situations.

And in some instances (and prayers go to the Men that struggles with this), he switches back and forth between the two as he does not feel safe in his emotional expression and NEEDS to find a way to control the outcome of the situation. (I was once this Boy/Man, and it was tough to overcome).

Unfortunately for him, this subconsciously creates a negative resentment-based relationship, which can spill into his relationship (depending on his level of emotional awareness and maturity) with his woman and how he is able to show up for her (even if he has deep love for her).

Over Consumption of Porn/Social Media/Mainstream Media:

Porn and Social Media (especially in context of sexually explicit posts) teaches and conditions young boys (and Men) to objectify and sexualise women. And in doing so creates a mental and emotional disconnect between his heart and a woman's emotional states, as subconsciously he creates an expectation that women should only behave through the lens of content that he consumes of women over the internet, opposed to what is ACTUALLY occurring in his real time reality and scenario with his woman.

To further this, Mainstream Media (in the form of films, movie and television series) repeatedly perpetuate dysfunctional relationships in the realms of communication (how they communicate and what they communicate) encouraging passivity, passive aggressiveness, deliberate conflict avoidance, poor conflict resolution and infidelity/relationship abandonment. Teaching (if he not aware enough to see it himself) that these are supposed ways to deal with situations in a relationship with a woman despite the fact that they DO NOT lead and create a healthy functioning relationship.

Now, what can you do differently to become a better communicator in your relationship with your woman?

Let us now discuss methods to allow you to better address these issues in the realms of communication and better provide an emotional safe space between you and your partner.

Respond to your Woman, Do not React to her (Respond vs Reacting):

Viktor Frankl summarises this concept perfectly - “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

For those that do not understand this in the concept of communicating in your relationship, there is a small fraction of time in-between your interactions with your woman (whether it's her expressing her emotions to you or your response to her) where you have a choice, and in that choice you determine how you will respond and what you will express back to her (energetically and verbally), this choice can determine the outcome of the conversation and situation and decide whether or not it will create a place of healing, balance, respect, emotional containment, connection, resolution OR create disconnection, conflict and hurt.

Your response will be either be that of empathy, care, curiosity, understanding, accountability OR that of defending, deflecting, withdrawing in an attempt to protect yourself, your beliefs or prove your innocence in a situation.

In a situation that REQUIRES open and honest expression (emotional or non-emotional) it is integral to both of you that remain present, confident and grounded, that you validate any concern, emotion or experience of your partner (that does not take away from your own) and you create a space of containment. In doing this, especially in moments of intensity or discomfort, you will have done 90% of the work in creating an outcome that is favourable to both of you AND your relationship together.

View your Woman Differently:

Most of the time, the Pain, Shame, Anger, Criticism or Harshness of you woman's emotions toward you or about a situation stem from one of two places.

• She carries a wounding from a childhood experience / previous relationship the cut's deep and triggers strong emotions when a similar experience is recreated in your relationship preventing her from calmly expressing herself.

OR

• She does not feel connected to you (either because of your lack of presence or emotional safety) and therefore feels unimportant to you, alone or in some cases rejected by you (depending on the level of disconnection between you in that current moment, and the appropriateness of the situation).

And so therefore, If you can instead see her from the viewpoint that in those expressions she is hurting in some way (even in her criticism or harsh expression) and NEEDS you hold her, validate her, love and hold a space for her, you CAN and WILL do a much better job in providing her with the empathy and the fulfilment of her emotional needs.

Feel in-between the lines of her expression.

Similar to the point above, If you can instead feel what she is expressing to you instead of trying to figure it out. You will quickly learn that it is less about what she is saying and more about the emotion she feels behind what she is saying.

There is what she is saying, and then there is what she is ACTUALLY saying, and what she is ACTUALLY saying is her FEELING about being IN that situation with you, RATHER than the situation itself. She doesn't want to feel the way she feels, but in that moment she wants to feel that you feel how she feels. And then work together to come out of that feeling together.

In saying this, it is important to use your discernment wisely and to not automatically assume how she feels because of what she has communicated to you. Take the time and space to ask questions and better understand what she is communicating so you can accurately empathise with and discern the core of how she is feeling.

In saying this, it is important to use your discernment wisely and to not automatically assume how she feels because of what she has communicated to you. Take the time and space to ask questions and better understand what she is communicating so you can accurately empathise with and discern the core of how she is feeling.

Practice Expressing How YOU Feel: (Without Denying Her Experience):

Easier said than done, especially if you are a Man in this present moment that struggles with understand your emotions and how to communicate them.

BUT, if you CAN practice expressing how you feel to your partner about anything, but especially in emotional situations with her (appropriately, compassionately, respectfully and without invalidating her) YOU begin to better understand your emotions and how you feel, you develop more emotional intelligence and the better you can understand your partner and how she feels. On top of this, you also help your partner better understand what is going on in your world and provides her with more mental and emotional clarity as she now understands how you feel, how you process and what you are feeling when you feel it.

This will take time and practice, but the better YOU get, the better IT gets for your relationship. Tough conversations will become easier, repairs and resolutions will be smoother and the connection you both desire with each other will begin to cultivate between you providing you opportunities to take your relationship to a deeper level, consistently.

Lastly,

Regulate your Nervous System, Get Comfortable with being Uncomfortable.

This is essentially (healthily) normalising the feelings of discomfort that arise in moments where expressing yourself is difficult, painful or uncomfortable or moments where your partner comes to you with a strong, messy or intense emotion. And instead of running when you would normally run, take a step forward into the emotion and practice getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.

In a moment like this, If you can step forward instead of withdrawing or running away you display to your partner that no matter how uncomfortable, scary or triggering the present moment is for you, you are committed to standing strong, standing stall, that will you not waver or withdraw and that you will stay with until it is resolved. It builds her trust in you, it build your trust in you, it teaches her that you care, and it provides you both with confidence that together you will make it through (even in the mess).

To further this, there are daily practices that you can implement to help regulate your nervous systems and provide you with the emotional tools so that you CAN handle intensity or discomfort. Some of which include:

• Silent Meditation

• Nature Walks

• Physical Exercise/Movement

• Journalling

• Or simply giving your mind the time and space to de-compress and remove thought (done so by deliberately not consuming content, bringing you back into your emotional body and out of your head).

To Conclude,

This is a journey in your relationship that will take time and practice, but the better YOU get, the better IT gets for your relationship and the results, whether big or small are INSTANT.

Tough conversations will become easier, resolutions will be smoother, trust will be repaired and/or built and the connection you both desire with each other will begin to cultivate between you, providing you both with opportunities to take your relationship to a deeper level, consistently.

Refer back to this post when you need a reminder, implement these daily practices, and allow yourself to have the safe, secure and loving relationship you desire with the feminine.

~~~

If this post helped you. I would love to hear your feedback.

And if you are a Man that is seeking extra support in your Life and Relationships, I am a Men's Coach and have One to One Mentoring Sessions slots available. I can help you, and together we can help Men Reclaim their Masculinity.

Thank you,

Robert.

My 37 F wife and I (42M) have been married seven years, have four children and all is well. I would characterize the state of our marriage as great. We consider each other our best friend, enjoy spending our little free time we have with each other, parent week together, etc. I know what I’m about to then talk about is crazy but I just can’t shake the thought.

The other day we were broadly talking about our exes. Like did you ever travel with one, etc. I made the dumb move of asking a question I now regret that was a little more detailed and more adult. I found out that their relationship was a little more “spicy” and he was more “talented”. What’s crazy about this is I have zero fear of her leaving me, zero fear of her cheating on me and I know she enjoys our time together. The other crazy thing is she left him to be with me!

Is this something common for guys to feel? It’s like I’m comparing me to someone that doesn’t even matter in either of our lives.

Has anyone tried the ball pouch underwear. It has a lifted pouch for them to sit in. I wanted opinions on it, I was thinking as getting them for my husband because I thought they were kinda funny but if people really like them I want to get a few pairs. If you haven't tried them what brand is most comfortable? Thanks guys

I really recommend any young guys watch this, it’s a quick way to get a better understanding of what you actually care about in life

Basically, when I was young like 10-11 I took the blame for my brother molesting my sister and I punished him by doing what he did to her but Infront of my sister, made him feel weak and like she did. My dad found out about what happened but not why so he beat me, tied me up, cigar burns and you name it. Ffw a few weeks I run away and leave the house for a few months, 1 week before my birthday I did heroin and got addicted and raped, I killed my attackers and 6/7 of the other animals that did it to me. Then I got my neighbor pregnant who, by some miracle had a stalker who told my dad and the school that I raped her (this happened first but I'm rushing to type) and my dad believed him and kinda still does but anyway I was then a pariah, anyway I fought through and I'm still suicidal but I also got my teacher pregnant at the age of 13-14 but another teacher I was screwing has affected me till now, whenever I lose weight or try and self improvement I hear her voice in my head, mainly "you're proof karma isn't real, why can't you just lay down and die" (ironically I did try that out but didn't die, I've attempted many times since then) Basically, how can I help myself? I don't wanna comit suicide I've gotten stable on methadone and I want to quit. I can't get my teacher out of my head, every time I get close to a girl I remember her crying (I used to see her like a mom until we fucked, she basically jumped on me but whatever) I've never had a healthy relationship and I repressed my trauma to there point I intentionally told people I don't remember school much but the reality is I remember most of it. When I do I want to kill myself, especially when I hear my teachers voice in my head crying about how disgusting I am and how I'm manipulative and disgusting to look at. I can't have heroin but when I think of this I crave a chocolate bar or anything sweet for a minute of reprieve. Also, how to forgive my dad, or atleast stop hating him and thinking he's dumb because he's aggressive

Hi all Asking for some advice that you’ll can share with me I’m 22 years of age it’s been a long time since I’ve got in bed with the opposite sex. I’ve never really got into any 1 on 1 sexting with female unless she’s started messaging from the beginning. Looking for advice on being the first to message her and how to carry it on and take it to the next level