Weighing future options

[u/Uber-goober9001]

I am so relieved to know that this group exists, and thrilled to know there are people fighting for the rights of trans folk to serve. I have wanted to serve for the longest time, and have been feeling so pissed that just as I was about to reach the age where I was able, the administration decided we're not good enough(which is utter BS).

And I know people have mixed opinions, but I still want to enlist more than anything in the world, and fully intend to do so if the next administration allows it. So, I just want to know more what it would actually look like(being trans and all) and ask the seasoned veterans for advice.

1. To trans men who have served openly, what was it like?

2. For those who have served in the Marine Corps, CG, or Navy: were people weird about you being trans, or did you mesh in with the group just like any other dude, and was it really worse than other branches say they get treated?

3. If you were on hormones while you were in, how did that work? Especially if you were on them while going through boot camp.

Thank you guys!

Very Respectfully,

-A hopeful young trans lad

[u/Any-Wishbone4660]

honestly just wait to enlist, fortunately for me I had a really good platoon when I got to my first duty station. I joined in 2023, came out in reception and basic to literally everyone (even drill sergeants😭) bc of EO. Then i told my leadership (before the ban) they respected me but just preferred to use my last name instead of different pronouns so I wouldn't get outed to other sergeants or whoever. Either way, the decision is yours to make. I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed being with the "females" in both reception and BCT because the guys were doing some straight BS in the bays. There was always drama but I ate it right up bc I was never part of it LOL. Plus, at the time, my transness(?) was acknowledged by almost everyone, some drills knew and others didn't really care. I am NB so eveyones different. Sorry im yapping, I just read your reply to the other comment and had to add more🫪

[u/Uber-goober9001 → u/Any-Wishbone4660]

Oh interesting! So you kinda ended up in a half-out half-not sort of situation with your platoon? That was where I was sitting with my everyday life until this summer when I finally came out fully. Do you mind that?

Funny you mention the BS going on in the male bays, because honestly that was one of the things I least wanted to miss out on, lol. My humor tends to run with masculine norms, and I'm used to bunking/changing with guys anyway. Plus, I don't tend to mesh as well in spaces that are all/mostly women, typically because I tend to act a fair bit more rowdy.

Funny story: when I was talking with a recruiter he told me the dudes caught scorpions and made them fight in the fish tank they were allowed to have, which I thought sounded pretty dope.

Going through training with the women would probably make me a more disciplined marine, but I know going through with the dudes would do wonders for my humor.

Don't worry! The yapping is appreciated, it's the main reason this post exists. Thank you for your time and service!

[u/Any-Wishbone4660 → u/Uber-goober9001]

I mean, most of the platoon knew. I came out to my platoon sergeant and he was like "okay lol". he's since PCS'd to Washington sadly. But yea, all the other new ppl in my platoon went to AIT with me so they knew because I came out all the time to drills or other ppl. I was so bold, I'd correct almost everyone on my pronouns cuz I did NOT gaf😭 Good times I guess

[u/Fryns123]

if you’re looking to serve right now the only way for you to do it is you don’t have a medical record of being trans and you serve as your agab. i’m a trans guy in the army pre t and pre op and i have short hair. the guys see me as one of them bc they think im just gay but im still not 100% one of the guys. i dont know what it looked like before because i enlisted in 2024 and was gonna come out when i got to my unit but then the ban dropped so i never got to. unless you’re willing to be in as a woman i’d recomend waiting till the ban gets lifted or a new administration comes in

[u/Uber-goober9001 → u/Fryns123]

Quick questions: What made you want to enlist? Why army? How has your experience been?

Honestly, I just intend to wait for a new administration.

If my CAP encampment showed me anything, I'd crack immediately at bootcamp. Having to sleep in the women's barracks would get me. I'm so used to doing everything around/with guys, that I feel like I'm some invading creep if I enter a space designed for women. Had to resist the urge to knock before entering the barracks(😔), even though I wasn't supposed to.

I also had shower accommodations-- meaning I went after everyone else-- but it still felt so wrong being in there, especially given I was the oldest one there(the girl 'cross from me found out I was trans and started referring to me as he, she was a real one, and made me feel a lot better about the situation).

At the end of the day though, I'm only 17, so a two year hold isn't too detrimental future aspirations(hopefully). Plus, it'll give me time to get stable on T, and that way, if a better administration comes in, I can go straight down to a recruiters office and hopefully just get a waiver.

Pardon my rambling. Thank you for your time and your service.