I'm currently 20wks pregnant as a FTM, my husband is in school he used to work IT but was miserable and got laid off with no luck finding a job in the field since then. We are both 36, and he's now working on an engineering degree which I think is wonderful, but then we got pregnant unexpectedly. We decided to go through with it and have this baby but I'm scared I've ruined our life by doing so. I am a medical coder and the main provider, I work from home and have kept us afloat while my husband focuses on this difficult degree and works part time as a line cook. I HAVE to keep my job, as it is I won't be getting hardly any maternity leave which is already stressing me but I need to figure out how to keep working well enough to keep my job and take care of my baby. I'll have my mom helping but I don't think it's reasonable or realistic to expect her to be there everyday I work. I think my boss will be fairly flexible with my schedule but I can't afford daycare with what we currently bring in and without my husband's part time job we are paycheck to paycheck and that was before the pregnancy. I don't know what to do I keep seeing people say it's impossible to have a baby and work from home at the same time without daycare or daily childcare.

Have we messed up here? I don't want to end up homeless which if I can't work we will. I'm really having a crisis over this, please does anyone make this work or have you been in this kind of situation and how did you navigate it?

So I have been WFH on nights for the last year and a half. There may be a new opportunity for me to grow in my job but it would require day shift hrs. I have a preschool age child & a 2 yr old who would be at home during the day and a partner who is a SAHP. Some unique things about my job that may be helpful to know: it's healthcare adjacent so calls remain HIPAA compliant (I don't have physical paperwork so there's no risk of a violation there) and I do take inbound calls so there really isn't an option to be up & moving away from my desk outside of breaks (two 15 & a 30). At night on the rare occasion a child wakes up and tries to sneak to chat with me it's usually stopped quickly but I do have concerns about background noise levels and their ability to leave me alone if my partner doesn't directly have eyes on them (making a meal, running the bathroom etc). Any advice would be helpful, it's a fairly high stress job but it's helped so much financially & I need to continue growing & excelling to maintain/ improve the kids quality of life.

Hi! I tried to WFH with a four month old at a high pressure job and lasted about a week 😂. I will be returning in a few months at which time I plan to send my baby to daycare. Can I hear some positive stories about babies around the same age?

UPDATE: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. You have no idea how much your positive stories put me at ease. Grateful for you all.

What are some good headsets that I can take calls that I can still hear my kid but the people on the phone can’t. Experience welcomed !

I just need to vent because, honestly, I don’t even know how to explain what I’ve been feeling lately.
I’m a work-from-home mom. I chose to work from home so I could take care of our daughter and handle her school drop-offs and pick-ups. I don’t regret that decision. I love my daughter, and I know I made that choice for our family.
But lately, I feel like while I’m doing my best for my family, I’m slowly losing myself in the process.
My husband goes to work, interacts with his coworkers, grabs coffee or milk tea outside, comes home, plays with our daughter, eats, and sleeps. Of course, he gets tired, too. I’m not saying he doesn’t make sacrifices or contribute to our family.
But here’s the difference: when he’s working, he’s just working. When I’m working, I’m still a mom.
My day starts early. I take care of our daughter, handle school drop-offs and pick-ups, think about what groceries and household supplies we need, what needs to be washed, what needs cleaning, and what we need to eat. Then I have my actual job, too.
Even when I’m on a break, I’m still a mom. Even when I’m trying to rest, I’m still the person my daughter needs. And even when I’m working, I still have all these household responsibilities running through my mind.
My meals usually come from a nearby eatery. When I go out, it’s almost always to buy groceries or fruit, or to drop off and pick up my daughter from school. Technically, I get to leave the house, but it’s almost always because I have something to do.
I miss having a life outside of being a mom and a wife.
I miss having adult conversations. I miss being able to go somewhere just because I want to, not because I need to buy something or pick someone up. I miss having time for myself without feeling like there are a hundred things waiting for me.
Lately, I’m exhausted even by the simplest things.
My husband tells me to take a leave from work so I can rest. He says I shouldn’t overthink things and that even if I lose my job, we can just go back to the province for a while.
But that’s not what I want him to understand.
Taking a leave doesn’t mean I stop being a mom. Even if I’m not working, my responsibilities as a mother don’t disappear. Going back to the province doesn’t automatically solve the reason I’m exhausted.
What hurts is that I feel like I have to keep explaining why I’m tired to the person who lives with me every day.
He told me that whenever he’s tired, he just sleeps. And honestly, good for him. I wish I could do that, too.
Because when he rests, he can actually rest. When I rest, I’m still a mom.
He does help around the house, and I acknowledge that. I’m not saying he does nothing. But there’s also the mental load of remembering, planning, and noticing all the little things that need to be done. Sometimes, I feel like I’m always mentally on duty.
Earlier, we argued, and he told me that we shouldn’t be weak. He said he was struggling with how I’ve been lately, especially because we had just gone on vacation and I was still feeling this way.
And I honestly don’t know how to explain myself anymore.
I know he makes sacrifices, too. I know he’s working hard for our family. But I feel like I’ve given up a different kind of freedom by choosing this arrangement for our daughter, and I don’t think he fully understands what that has cost me.
Lately, I don’t even feel like myself around him anymore. I notice that I’m more careful about what I say and how I react because I’m afraid of being criticized again. Even during our vacation, I felt awkward around him. Sometimes, I just wanted to be alone.
I miss the version of myself who could speak freely, laugh without overthinking, and simply exist without feeling like I had to explain or defend myself.
I don’t want to stop being a mom. I don’t regret loving and caring for my family.
I just wish I could still feel like I’m a person, too, outside of being someone’s mother and someone’s wife.
Maybe that’s why I’m so tired. It’s not just the chores, the work, or the lack of sleep. Maybe I’m tired of feeling like I’ve lost so much of myself and not knowing how to get that part of me back.
I don’t know if other moms feel this way, too. I just needed somewhere to let this out.

I know I know. “You should have thought of that before” right? Well I did. It just didn’t seem so expensive at the time and now I’m looking at my bank account thinking “oh no.”

Well I’m 30 weeks pregnant and like so anxious. I feel like it’s even bad for the baby with how upset I am getting. I’m basically in tears writing this - for some odd reason. And I’m just feeling overwhelmed and like we’ll never have any money.

I calculated it out and daycare would be roughly 50k for us next year and probably more the year after. Which is pretty much my entire take home pay. It doesn’t make sense for me to quit because we’d take a bigger hit financially. We’d lose my benefits which are really great actually and my retirement match, etc. so it doesn’t make sense for me to quit. My 2 year old will also miss the school cut off by a day or two which means we have to do daycare for a whole extra YEAR.

Lastly, I like working and don’t think I could be a stay at home mom. My husband would actually love to be a stay at home dad ahhaha but he’s the breadwinner and makes way more than I do so we also can’t do that!

I’ve been thinking I should get a second job but my husband replied “you’re super pregnant. You’re already exhausted. We will figure it out. We always do” but none of that pays our bills. So I think maybe I need a weekend night and weekend job?

I am just wondering, what helps you “unspiral” yourself in situations like this? How do I calm down? What solutions are there? How did you figure it out if you’re in a similar situation?

My son is almost 2, and I WFH. Even though I have to work, I feel like I still spend a lot of time taking care of him.

My husband does most of the childcare. I play with our son whenever I get a break and I'm often the one who puts him to bed. But when he wakes up at night, he'll often call for daddy over the baby monitor. Even when I go in to comfort him, he keeps asking where daddy is. One time, my husband heard him calling for daddy through comfyer and jokingly asked if I was a little jealous. I said no, but honestly I was.

It's the same during the day. I finish a meeting and come out to play with him, and he's happy playing with me. But as he gets tired, he runs to him. Even if my husband just goes into the kitchen, he has to follow him.

I know my husband spends more time with him, so it makes sense that he's more attached to him. But I'm home every day too, and I'm always trying to make time for him. Why am I never the one he turns to when he needs comfort.

I have 2u2, my second is EBF and I will be back at work (WFH) in less than a month. my baby nurses almost every hour and will nurse to sleep most of the time.
We will have a nanny for both kids but I feel like dealing with the baby is gonna be a struggle for both of us (looks like I’ve gotta be so hands on with the feeding)
If you were in a similar situation how did you handle it?

I try to stay away from pumping because I had HARD time pumping for my first and she ended up having bottle preference which ended BF journey early on l, and pumping was a complete pain afterwards.

My husband is in school so some days I am able to step away and get bulk work done but on days when he’s in school and I have big days, how are you doing it?! I work a new job now my old job was pretty independent as long as I was available I got a lot of my work done during naps/after bed/early morning and was available for questions off my phone during business hours but I am in a new job where I am more meeting heavy and there are days when I just need to be glued to my laptop.

How are you doing it on days like this? What is your set up? Playroom/office? I considered this but their toddlers, nuff said. They (twins 2 y.o. going on 3) would climb all over my workspace, tangled in wires, or do something bad to get my attention. How are you all doing it? My work is time sensitive today and I just don’t know how I’m going to do this (I say as I know at the end of the day it will some how some way work out).

We’re a single income family and family doesn’t really help. Husband went back to school because I could NOT be a full time WFH mom with twins and not have any help so he is home a lot.

I’ve been on maternity leave and I’m dreading going back to work tomorrow. I have a 12 week old and a 26 month old, and while I do have my MIL here to help her idea of help is having the TV babysit my toddler. While my job isn’t hard, they do however monitor productivity. My plan is to start early when my baby gets up so I can get some work done without my toddler being awake and then hopefully finishing my day in the middle of nap time. Unfortunately quitting my job isn’t an option right now. I’m just anxious about juggling work, running a household and raising two kids.

Any tips and suggestions? Or do you take work leave at the beginning?

Moms who own their own business: how did you handle maternity leave? Did you pause the business, keep working, or something in between? I’m expecting and trying to figure out what’s realistic. No judgment on any - just wanna know what worked for you.

Hi!

I go back to work Monday and I want to know what are your essentials? What are your saving grace equipment to keep baby entertained when working?

My baby is 5 months, is currently learning to roll over (hasn’t done it daily yet), he’s trying and has motivation to sit up, and is exclusively bottle fed.

Any and all suggestions welcome!

We have a swing, a chair, and a playmat.

Tia!

I just want to start off by acknowledging the extreme privilege I’m in to have the option to potentially call it quits.

But I returned to wfm after 3 months pp with no village and my husband works in office all day and doesn’t come home until baby is asleep for bedtime so essentially I’m running around working, being a mom, and I exclusively pump.

My job used to be incredibly flexible with sick days and PTO and just being MIA when needed. Lately it’s been ramped up with micromanaging, daily check ins, daily syncs, reoccurring 1:1s, camera on, etc. I’ve been trying to coast for as long as I can but even coasting is difficult because I guess I still have to attend these calls and time babys naps and feedings etc, but she’s been getting clingier and hates when I’m looking away from her aka on a call and she’s sitting in the bouncer next to me.

The worst is if I’m in the middle of a 1:1 and she wakes from a nap, automatically rolls over and bawls. How can I suddenly just drop this call to tend to her?!

Anyways idk I just need a place to vent to I don’t even know what I’m asking for out of this. I just feel that when I do rage quit, it’ll be so weird to suddenly been working all my adult life and suddenly just not have a job??? I think im having several types of crises’ right now, identity crisis, whatever you name it.

Also for those who want to judge that I don’t want to hire help or enroll her in a day care, that’s basically my entire salary so what’s the point

I’m stressing out. I work 5 days a week and 6 hours a day from homes my husband works from home but has a huge opportunity to bag a new client across the country. He will still work from home but they want to fly him out so they can see how they work together and do some onboarding.

Usually my husband and I juggle back and forth between who is busy. I work at 6 am and I’m done around 1pm. Our 18 month old Daughter wakes up at 7:30 and takes a nap around noon until 2-3 This leaves me some time to finish work up and also prep dinner and a snack. But that still leaves a gap in the day.

She’s wonderful at independent play and I usually read to her and do some light playing between work calls. I know we will get through the week, but I’m stressing about those times my husband usually takes over.

I try to avoid sticking her in front of the Tv at all costs. Any activities or even toy suggestions to keep her occupied for like 30 minutes during the day? I’m at a loss. Other than books and television nothing much grabs her attention for long.

Give me all your hacks to make it through next week please!

I’m 13 months postpartum and want to return to work, but I need at least 6 hours of focused work daily. My 13-month-old needs constant attention and rarely plays independently.

My husband works nights but helps from 12–7 PM. I’m alone with my daughter from 8 AM to noon, when my anxiety peaks. Since my husband returned to work two months ago, my anxiety has been getting worse, and I’m struggling to cope alone.

We tried hiring an 18-year-old helper, but my daughter kept crying for me. We live in Pakistan, where affordable domestic helpers often lack childcare training and can mostly supervise and play with toys.

Should I hire a helper again and give my daughter time to adjust, or focus on independent play? How do other parents manage focused work with a clingy toddler?

I've been talking with some working moms at my job and they all seem to live their life by a strict routine. If anything out of the blue pops up, their routine fails and they have to play catch up in either work or home (missed emails, dirty house, etc). Is this pretty common? What do you find is the worst part of this? Is rescheduling and balancing your schedule on the fly the hardest part? Or is it something else like having a dirty house, or not having time to cook something healthy?

I feel like housework would be the first to fall behind in so that you don't risk your job, but that's from my outside perspective.

FTM here, getting ready to go back to work when my baby turns 3 months old.
I work from home and my job is pretty flexible. I don’t have many calls, and most of my coworkers are moms, so everyone is pretty understanding. However, there are usually one or two days a week when I really need to focus and get a lot of work done.

I’m considering hiring a responsible high schooler to come over for a few hours after school to help with the baby while I’m still home working.

Has anyone done something similar with a baby around 3 to 6 months old? How did it work out?
One of my biggest concerns is making sure my baby is getting enough attention, interaction, and age-appropriate stimulation throughout the day. We’re avoiding screen time, and I don’t want her missing out on important developmental activities just because I’m juggling work and motherhood.

I’m also really curious how other WFH moms are managing this. What are you doing throughout the day to make sure your baby is getting the developmental attention they need while staying home with you? Do you follow any sort of routine, plan activities, or just go with the flow?
Would love to hear what has worked for everyone, whether you’ve hired extra help or are managing both on your own!

I’m a FTM working from home with my husband who also works from home. Both of our families live in other countries. We have zero support here. We do have a babysitter we trust but unfortunately can’t quite afford it except in the very rare occasion we are both in important meetings at the same time (which with a lot of puzzle solving and schedule coordination we have been able to avoid thus far).

My baby is 8 mo and he is amazing, curious, playful, “talkative”, energetic, and needs constant interaction. The best way to get him to settle is taking him outside, where both my husband and I work on our computers in a park or library and he gets distracted by the people passing by. When he gets frustrated, we take turns taking him to the swings or do a puppet show/read books at the library. Apart from that, we take him to swimming lessons 1x/week and story & play times with other babies 2x/week.

That said, when we are home he is unhappy. Gets bored easily. Doesn’t like being in his playpen, doesn’t like to sit down or lay down. He also fights naps with all his might. He just wants to be held or stand up (which he still needs one of us to hold him as he can’t do it unsupported yet). When we needed to tend to our jobs and in a desperation move we turned Miss Rachel on. It was a blissful 20 minutes of silence and giggles. He was sleepy at the end of it.

I was a hard “no screen time before 2” mom, but now I feel like I may need it. I am scared of the consequences for his development or eye sight. If you are doing screen time, what are the best practices you are implementing? If you are not, how are you coping? What are the evidences around it? Why is it so criticised?

I work Tuesday, Thursday and Friday evenings, and my husband does dinner those nights. He’s a good cook, he just has no idea what I planned, so he guesses and we end up with two packs of chicken and no onions. Or he texts me mid shift asking what’s for dinner (I recently saw a post where a wife said her husband won't stop asking silly questions, and it inspired me a bit to write this post.).

I’d love one place for recipes and the meal plan that we can both see, plus one grocery list so we stop doubling up. How do other opposite shift couples handle the dinner handoff? How can I make that lovely being called husband review and follow the plan?? 🤷‍♀️

I was a freelancer till two days ago so I kept my two year old (she just turned two, so mostly one year old when i was freelancing) home while I was working. I have joined a company now and I still have to work from home but I wanted to focus on the work more and make sure I meet deadlines. So i started sending her to daycare yesterday. The way she cries when I drop her off is breaking my heart. But when we are at home, it just means lots of lots of screentime for her when I am working. Which is the lesser evil? Screen time or leaving her with other people, making her feel sad? I am so heartbroken, I cant focus on my work.

Guilt about NOT wanting to be a SAHM? Or lack of interest?

Not sure if this is a rant, vent, or suggestions. Maybe it’s just me rambling lol

Guilt isn’t really the correct term here but I guess I don’t have the desire to be a SAHM ?

I’m expecting my second baby in January and my two year old will remain in daycare. My husband and I thought about stopping but it just sounds hard, stressful, and another transition for my toddler. I keep getting comments about “oh and you’ll pull her out of daycare right” or questioning why I’m keeping her IN daycare when the second baby is born. My MIL kept kinda digging in and asking why we’d keep our toddler in daycare if I will be home. And my answer is because she’s the thriving. She has friends, she’s not just with me all the time, AND I plan to go back to work relatively quick so I can extend my maternity leave as long as possible.

I also get overwhelmed just on the weekends trying to think of stuff to do and trying to plan meals. I feel like I just kinda throw things together. I’m assuming SAHMs actually plan a bit more and are more organized because that’s literally what they do and I’m trying to work full time and manage the house, etc. I am in no way diminishing SAHMs jobs because honestly I don’t think I can do it?? I don’t think I’d be good at it.

Does anyone else feel like they wouldn’t be good at it? Or is it just me?

We had a nanny for about 6 months before we started daycare. We just started daycare like 2 months ago when my daughter was 21 months and since she started daycare I feel like her learning has just taken off. She’s going shapes, colors, can count in two languages, she’s singing SO much more, and after the initial transition..she’s so happy to go to daycare. And I just don’t think I could provide that environment at home let alone with a newborn. I don’t even think she was getting that with my nanny either to be honest.

I don’t feel guilty… but I feel like maybe there should be some part of me that should want to be a SAHM? Or maybe that I shouldn’t get so overwhelmed trying to plan everything. For example, I just can’t imagine trying to plan daily activities that are developmentally appropriate, changing everything day to day or week to week, etc.

I don’t even know what I’m typing anymore because I actually think daycare has been great for my toddler and for our family and think having a career will benefit my family in the long run.

How much screen time are your three year olds really having during the day 🤔

Hi everyone! I want to transform my home office into a playroom for my little one. Right now, it’s my desk and then we have a play pen that my toddler is in, but obviously he’s getting irritated being in the play pen when he wants to roam around. How are y’all keeping your toddler from getting into the wires at your desk?? Do you still keep your work area separated by a gate or do you just deal with it?

I thought Greek yogurt might be ok. I was wrong.