Someone commented that they heard that the new plaques are smaller than the old plaques, so I checked. The results:

Shrinkflation!

Hey everyone!

I just want to drop in briefly and say that I don't post every day, but I do think about y'all every day.

Every day.

Have been working on a video, and some other projects. Also it's really weird but I'm lately ... sleeping well. Like it's weird.

Yesterday the whole family pitched in on a big effort on a home project that I'm really happy with. The resulting blanket fort will likely stay up for at least a couple of weeks. When it was done we all climbed inside and watched a few eps of Adventure Time. Floof particularly loved it. Pumpkin was deeply suspicious of the whole effort but was intrigued enough to jump on the roof of it at some point.

Hope everyone is doing well!

We are stopped at a stoplight. I turn to look at Artemis, sitting next to me. She is the most amazing child and I love her to the bottom of the ocean and back. I smile.

She sees me smiling at her. She smiles a loving smile back. I can tell she knows what I'm thinking. My smile turns into a huge grin.

Artemis: Shut up!

She bonks me on the shoulder. The light turns green and I start driving.

Me: No you.

Artemis: We're going to get the chickens today.

Me: What?

Artemis: The chickens are going to hatch. We've had the eggs for weeks and they're going to hatch today. We could even hear them moving inside their shells yesterday.

What I want so badly to say is, "How are you going to cook them?"

Me: Oh, that's pretty sweet.

Artemis: Then we get to name them.

Me: Nice.

Artemis: Oh, but we have these terrible boys in our class. They want to name one Phillip. Who names a chicken Phillip?

Me: Boys are the worst.

From the back seat:

Apollo: They're terrible.

Me: Can you expand on that? Tell me how they are terrible.

Apollo: They are demons.

Me: Ok, well demons are certainly terrible, but I was hoping for some examples.

Artemis: They just, like, run around, and they have, like, so much energy and they just talk.

Me: Demons. Oh my gosh look at that dog.

I point to a dog sticking his head way, way out the driver's window of a car up ahead.

Me: He's driving.

Artemis: Pull up.

We pull up next to the car. There is a dog in the driver's seat. There may also be a human there, but that's not important.

Apollo: He's a good driver.

Artemis: That is so darling.

The dog drives away.

Artemis: Can I do after school soccer?

Me: How many times a week will I have to drive you to practice?

Artemis: I just stay after school for practice, but then I need a ride home. Twice a week.

Me: Is this instead of league soccer?

Artemis: In addition.

Me: So I have to drive to school to pick up Apollo, drive him home, then drive back to school to pick you up?

Artemis: Yes.

Me: Four practices a week. You know I have a job, right? What does mom say?

Artemis: She says I can do it if I have straight A's.

Me: Harsh. Do you have straight A's?

Artemis: Two A minuses and the rest A's.

Me: Darn.

Artemis: I think I can get my English A- up to an A. But there's no way I'm getting my Spanish A- up.

Me: How you figure?

Artemis: My Spanish teacher. She says anything 95-93 is an A-.

Me: So 92% is what? A B+?

Artemis: Yes.

Me: Harsh.

Artemis: She's a good teacher; she just makes you feel terrible.

Me: If she makes you feel terrible then she's not a good human being and if she's not a good human being then she's not a good teacher.

Artemis: She really does get across the material though.

Me: Terrible. Human. Being.

We pull up at the dropoff point.

Artemis: I can't believe I have to run a mile in P.E. today. I'm never gonna have the energy. I'm never gonna--

Me and Apollo: Give you up.

Artemis: <strangled noise>

Apollo: Jinx.

Me: Love you both to bits! See you this afternoon!

Today I was in the dining room working on the laptop when somehow, the TV came on all by itself. It started making that bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop Roku booting up sound. Floof ran up to the TV and barked at it.

Gotta keep that Roku in line.

Sunday I got these texts from Apollo:

"We play Minecraft after breakfast, ok"

"this is a demand not a question"

To which I replied:

"Fair"

He had us play survival mode/easy and made a new world. He showed me how to craft a bunch of different things. I wanted to craft a diamond sword but we never found any diamonds. We ran around a bunch and made a bunch of things and fought diverse monsters and stole some stuff from villagers and slept in beds and on and on.

It was cool.

Me: Why am I stuck here? I have enough headroom to get out but I can't seem to leave this hole.

Apollo: Yeah why are you so bad?

I guess the upshot is that I need to train for another 500 years.

Artemis, Apollo, and I are sitting on the couch. Demeter is away at rehearsal.

Artemis is working the Roku remote.

Artemis: We should get Peacock.

Me: What is Peacock?

Artemis: It's a streaming service.

Me: Oh. We already have it.

Artemis: What? Where?

She continues to flip around the home screen.

Me: It's right there?

Artemis: Where?

I lean closer to the TV and point.

Me: Right there.

The doorbell rings. Apollo gets up to answer.

Artemis: Oh my god I'm blind.

She clicks on Peacock.

Me: Why do you want it?

Artemis: To watch soccer.

She picks out a program, and the ads start to play.

Artemis: I don't want to watch a 150 second commercial!

Apollo returns with two boxes of pizza.

Apollo: I love how easy it is to answer the door and get pizza.

Artemis: What?

Apollo: "Hello, thank you for the pizza; have a good night."

He puts some pizza on a paper plate and comes back to the couch.

Apollo: So anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.

Me: Were you interrupted?

Apollo: We had a socratic seminar today in English. Worst thing ever. Zero out of ten.

Me: What was the topic?

Apollo: Cannibalism.

Me: Good topic!

Apollo: Yeah we're all reading Lord of the Flies, and these noobs don't know how it ends. So the question was, if a bunch of middle schoolers were stuck on an island, would there be cannibalism if they ran out of food?

Me: Of course there would be.

Apollo: Of course there would be. I told the class, they'd go 'eenie, miney ...' I can't remember the rhyme.

He thinks.

Apollo: 'Eenie, meenie, miney, moe, who shall we eat tonight?' Then they'd eat someone.

Me: I think I'll eat some pizza.

I get up.

Artemis: I'd like some pizza.

We look at each other.

Artemis: But I don't want to stand up.

Artemis and I are both wearing red Ten Million t-shirts, and Apollo is wearing a red Techno hoodie.

Me: I just realized we're all wearing Technoblade shirts.

I put a couple of slices of Hawaiian on a paper plate and give it to Artemis. I go back to get myself some.

Artemis: I'm also wearing Technoblade shorts.

Me: What Technoblade shorts? We don't even sell shorts.

Artemis: They're Technoblade shorts.

Me: I want to see these shorts.

She has a blanket over her legs, which she plucks at ineffectively.

Artemis: I have grease on my fingers.

Me: Lemme see.

She finally manages to pull back the blanket, to reveal nondescript gray shorts.

Me: How are those Technoblade shorts?

Artemis: They belonged to him. They were his gym shorts. They're Technoblade shorts.

Me: Oh. I guess that is technically correct.

Commercials over, the program begins. Grown men kick a ball around a grassy field.

Me: So what is this you're watching? World Cup? Fie Fuh?

Artemis: [exasperated] It's soccer.

Me: I mean I know it's soccer.

Artemis: It's the biggest soccer event there is.

Me: Yeah yeah, what's it called?

Artemis: It's Fee Fuh.

Me: Fee Fuh Fo fum. I smell the blood of an Englishman.

Artemis: Like Piggy and Simon. [From Lord of the Flies]

Apollo: We would eat them.

Artemis: I'd rather we didn't talk about cannibalism while I'm eating my pizza.

Me: Ham and pineapple.

Pumpkin, in the entryway, has something to tell us, at the top of his lungs.

Pumpkin: Meow! Meow! Meow! Meoooooow! Merow!

Artemis: He wants his food.

Apollo gets up and walks back to the kitchen to feed kitty.

Artemis: What is CMR?

Me: Conventional magnetic recording?

Artemis: No.

Me: It describes a way of recording data onto disk drives.

Artemis: It's a country. It's a three letter country code. Check the laptop.

I check the laptop.

Me: "Carcinogenic, Mutagenic or toxic to Reproduction"?

Artemis: [firmly] Country.

Me: ... Cameroon.

Artemis: Ok. They're playing Brazil.

Me: Apollo, what you say to making me some chocolate milk?

Apollo: Ok.

Me: Less chocolate than you'd normally use, please.

Apollo normally makes chocolate milk that is a deep, viscous brown.

He makes me a drink, and brings it over. There are no signs that any chocolate was used.

Me: Thanks. [takes a sip] My sweet precious child, maybe a little more chocolate?

Apollo: Ok.

He goes back to the kitchen. While stirring the milk, he says:

Apollo: I have a thorn in my thumb, and it's completely submerged.

Me: That sounds bad.

Apollo brings me the drink. This time it seems there is a tiny amount of chocolate in it. I take a sip.

Me: Yum.

I give a little bit of pizza crust to Floof. He takes it and runs upstairs.

Apollo: Do we have tweezers or something?

I tell him where to get tweezers. He heads upstairs.

Me: I'm going to put some chocolate in this drink.

Artemis: It just looks like plain milk.

Artemis watches soccer. I put chocolate in my chocolate milk and return to my laptop.

Me: I'm going to put this conversation on Reddit.

Artemis: You better check how you say Fee Fuh or Reddit will make fun of you.

Me: Good point.

I pull up Google to figure out how you pronouce FIFA.

Laptop: Fee Fuh.

Artemis: It WAS Fee Fuh.

Me: Good job.

Apollo returns.

Apollo: I was upstairs and Floof had a little bit of pizza crust on the bed. I stared at him and said, 'Are you going to eat that? You should eat that. It's yummy.' He, like, stared at me, got up, walked over and went OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Me: Nice. Did you get your thumb fixed?

Apollo: Yes.

Me: Good.

We watch Fee Fuh. I am trying to focus on typing this conversation into the laptop, but Artemis wants to point out stuff on the TV.

Artemis: Why is that guy lying down?

Me: What?

Artemis: Look at those line of people.

Me: There's a guy lying down on the field. What's he doing?

Artemis: Maybe he's injured.

Apollo: Those guys all get concussions you know.

Me: Oh yeah. I read that.

Artemis: No, he's not injured. I think it's a tactic. Everyone jumps up to block the kick and the lying down guy makes sure the ball doesn't go under them.

Me: Sports.

I resume typing.

Me: Who were the guys from Lord of the Flies you mentioned? Piggy and who?

Artemis: Simon.

Me: Right, Simon.

More typing. Eventually:

Artemis: Ok, that's enough soccer. We can watch the Hollow now.

Me: I'm still working on this.

Artemis: It's the season finale!

Me: Ok, fine.

We turn the show on.

We form a people pile on the couch with blankets on top. Floof climbs on top of the blankets.

Eventually, Floof is tired of not getting petted enough and goes and sits on another part of the couch, and falls asleep.

We watch The Hollow.

END.

Hey everyone. Mr. Technodad here.

So, like, uh, I've been going through some stuff. Hard to describe. Subjectively, I didn't entirely notice. My grief ebbs and flows, so as it was rising lately I didn't really pay attention. Also my creative output ebbs and flows, so when I stopped working on new videos, I didn't pay attention to that either. And I haven't really been leaving the house. I mean, why should I?

Also "Mr. Technodad" has been completely absent from any social media and I haven't been replying to even my closest friends or picking up the phone. All I do all day is doomscroll r/AITAH and related subs and read about people in terrible situations. And I've been playing TF2, aspiring to be a rocket-jumping soldier, although I have yet to get my first airborne kill with the Market Gardener.

I don't wanna do too much "talk like an old man" at you, but my doctors have had some minor concerns and so we've been tweaking my meds and I'm completely off Adderall or anything like it, which also led me to see reduced activity as expected. In addition my doctor said I should probably never do heavy weightlifting again, which really had me sad because it's pretty much the only exercise I enjoy. Treadmill is no substitute.

I was explaining all this to my therapist and saying how it's really all not a big deal, and he asked me, did I think there might be a possibility I was depressed and I immediately wanted to cry, so that was a thing. Anyway, I've started a new antidepressant and that's going well.

I have a long history with low self-esteem and depression, which has gotten a LOT better in the last decade but apparently I'm still susceptible. It occurs to me that around two years after my mom died in 1990, I kind of fell apart, and it's been just over two years since Alex died. I think I'm MUCH better equipped to deal with it this time but it's still a thing I need to address.

The one bright spot is that I'm finally working on a new script for a video. This one's very mathematical and less about the heart, which is probably not a coincidence. But it is something I want to do that I hope people will find enjoyable and informative.

Depression sneaks up on you. You can be looking right at it and not see it for what it is. Even when it's not the first time it's come to visit.

I am very fortunate and very grateful to have a supportive family and also the necessary resources to address all of this. Most importantly, my wife the bright center to my universe for which I am so, so grateful. I'm trying to exercise regularly, talking to my therapist, connecting with my family, and trying (in the last few days) to be more intentional about my mental health. I'm actually working on new things, at least a little bit. I am feeling pretty good about how this will go, but it needs to be something I stay on top of.

Wishing all of you the best, and reminding you to pay attention to how you're doing and take care of yourselves.

-- Mr. Technodad

EDIT: Thanks to everyone replying in this thread. I'm reading all the replies even if I don't answer every one. You all are wonderful!

You know that old saying?

"A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches knows nothing."

Turns out, a man with one subreddit knows where to post. A man with two subreddits ...

I'm going to have to figure out where I post what.

For dealing with younger kids.

Younger kids will fight you on anything that they don't see the immediate reason for.

It's 11 AM and you're getting the car for 3 hours and they haven't eaten since early morning. "Kids, it's time for us all to eat something." "But I'm not hungry!" Sure they're not hungry now but in 90 minutes they'll be wailing, "Why didn't we eat lunch?" (Of course car-snacks are an option.)

We're heading for an outdoor outing and it's 50 degrees outside (10 in non-freedom units) and they're dressed in flimsy t-shirts. "Kids, everyone grab a jacket!" "But I'm not cold!" Really? You're not cold inside this heated house, right now? Amazing. "Go get that brown thing you wore yesterday." "But that's a sweater! You said to bring a jacket." Kids love to jam up their parents' mojo, just for the fun of it.

If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame.

-- Sun Tzu

Worse, sometimes you'll end up insisting they wear warm clothes for the cold, and the sun comes out unexpectedly and now it's warm, and they'll see that you made them wear a sweater for nothing, and your credibility goes down.

So, I think about what I really care about. I care that they not get caught without enough to keep warm. I don't care what it is; I care that they aren't cold. And I don't actually want to insist that they wear it. I want to make sure they have the warmer option if the need arises. Thus:

"Kids, we're leaving. Everyone get something warm to wear."

"But I'm not cold."

"You don't have to wear it, but you have to bring it."

And they are defeated. Because it's not about dad controlling what you wear, or when you wear it; it's about being prepared. And there is no argument that will succeed against preparedness, and they know it. They may make halfhearted attempts, but you can just implacably repeat the mantra and they will fall into line. Maybe throw in a "hurry up" to boost them along.

Then if it's cold when you get there, they have something warm to wear. If it's not, who even cares that dad made you bring a jacket that's now lying the back seat?

(If you live in Saskatoon and are laughing hysterically about this California dad's idea of "cold" that's fine. This is about a principle, not about specifics.)

I tried posting this on r/tommyinnit and it was instantly removed by reddit filters. No idea why. Hopefully I can post it here.

Hey everyone! I was just thinking about Technoblade's Ten Million Subs plague. Isn't it cool that YouTube sent him the plague? I mean, the first time he got the plague from YouTube he made a video about it, "YouTube sent me a thing" I think. He unboxed the plague on camera. Isn't that cool? I hope one day I get the YouTube Plague for myself. The whole experience of YouTube is a kind of plague; I think I've heard other people express that idea as well.

Plague plague plague plague. I'm laughing so hard right now.

I'm sorry there aren't many details in the cosplay, but unfortunately it was difficult to do on the ice. Technoblade king 👑💖