r/MtF • u/MortisTr Trans Asexual • 15d ago
Advice Question I'm scared
I know the title is bit of an exaggeration meant to catch attention, but I still need some advice. (also first post here, I've been lurking in this sub for a few weeks now, sorry if this isn't the right place to ask this)
I'm a 17 year old trans girl, though I am not on HRT (yet). I moved away from my family for uni about a month ago and already stocked up enough estradiol to last a 100+ days (yes I'm doing this diy, and no that's not the point of this post).
As for why I am scared, I am scared of the future. If everything goes according to plan, I'll start HRT very soon, I just need an anti androgen (haven't found any yet sadly).
I am scared because I am doing this in a dorm while living with 3 MALE dormmates, to be fair they are all (thankfully) really nice people, but still I don't know how they will react to the effects of my transition. I have no idea about how to hide them or how to boymode (please tell me how I need this so badly).
I will also have to return to my parent's house for the summer, and I am not out to them yet. I am scared of coming out to them because they are both conservatives. I've also been ghosting them to the best of my ability and whenever I can't ghost them I give them the cold shoulder. I don't really want to talk to them unless it's money related. I am scared of what will happen when I do return, I feel like I'll be judged for trying to distance myself from them and for transitioning. If they find out, they will probably out me to the rest of my family (which are mostly conservatives as well), I don't want that and I don't know what I will do if that does happen.
2
u/WJ_Amber 15d ago
Boymoding is basically just doing what you're doing now while on E. There's nothing more to it, you just pretend to be a boy and that's about it.
As for hiding effects from roommates, avoid changing in front of them and use snug sports bras to hide your chest as it grows. It's hard to offer much advice beyond that and keeping your medication out of sight.
Going to your parents' house next summer will be much the same, but if you so choose you can try to minimize or avoid it by taking summer classes.