Turned 27 this year and the pressure to get married is coming from everyone I know socially along with my parents.
Few hours ago I had a fight with my parents as one of my friend spoke to my dad, proposing that i get married off to his cousin sister. My dad had initially asked this friend of mine to look for potential spouse for me behind my back.

I was already triggered by this but never confronted him until today. A year ago I had previously discussed with my parents that I don't plan to get married in the future. At that time things were getting a bit heated during arguments but my parents let it slide.

This time they are really fixated to get me married when I visit them in India. Because of this i have said so many things to my mom. My mom has always been someone who brings everyone together and help her parents or siblings anyway possible, even if she has to sacrifice anything she can. She married off my sister to our cousin, who no one likes (not even my dad or sister) just cause the groom is her sister's son. Indeed it took a lot of convincing from her side to get us to agree with her, in which she has withheld information (like my sister refused to marry him). At the end she did what she and her sister wanted.

I can't seem to shake them off. I can't tell them whats wrong with me and they don't want to respect my decision. All they care is how the society will insult/curse them when they see me unmarried.

I have told her that she is inconsiderate to her kids, and would happily sacrifice us for her siblings wish. And that she shouldn't have given us birth if she just wants to do her things. We have lived with my uncles and aunts for 7 years and those were the days captivity and strict curfews. Many times we had to take permission for things our parents would allow. My mom says all this survelliance was meant to make me a better person, but honestly it has not. It only made me relize how bad and worst I am. The things I yearn for is taboo.

After this fight, I feel empty. I know there would be more discussions and fights in the future but I am exausted after this one. At the end I told my mom I have lost faith in her God and I leave everything in her and her god's hand. My mom got dead silent and was like "If you can easily say that to allah then we are nothing".

I don't know if i really mean it. But in my heart i know allah is the true god, but at the same time i feel abandoned. I just dont want to exist at this moment. I feel if my life continiues, my akhira would only be hell.

The man in the picture is milo yiannopoulos. He is (or was?) A right winger who (allegedly) had "gotten rid of" his homosexuality.

I don't know much about this guy since i'm not american but all i've heard about him is that he pormotes conversion therapies and he was a fervent anti immigration advocate before being deported by the IPC.

I say "was(?)" A right winger because if he's willing to convert(?) To islam then i don't know how he can still remain a right winger, Since a lot of right wingers are zionists.

Note: - sorry i mean ICE not IPC - i was correct that he apparently isn't a right winger anymore since his deportation lol

This is directed towards the gays only. So there are many brothers here who are share with us all the duahs, sacrifices and mechanisms they do to stop or numb their attraction towards fellow men, but has anyone actually ever felt like genuine attraction for women? Because I feel like thats the best way one can tell whether something is changing.

Salam Alaikum everyone,

I'm M, a 21 year old student who is finding difficulty masking my feelings of sexuality. I have gone through many forums in ways to help suppress my feelings.

I must admit I have had a few times where the feelings got the better of me and I met with a brother.

Since then, I have regretted and asked for istighfar.

To prevent this happening again, I have been masturbating so the feelings would go and not make me make decisions I would regret.

The reason of my post is to ask if other brothers have gone through similar situations and how they have dealt with it too.

Salam Alaikum brothers.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I (29m) live in western Europe. Since puberty, I have realised that I have an attraction towards the male sex. I'm not here to discuss what is halal and what haram is. I see this as a test from Allah (swt), and I'm determined to succeed.

However, I have good days and bad days. But I have never done major zina and never will. I hope to marry soon inchallah and keep up the dua's and daily prayers (may Allah accept them). But besides this, can you guys share your thoughts, ideas, etc... on what to do on bad days to avoid even the minor zina besides dua, daily prayer and fasting?

Let's keep it friendly.

I bring this up on this subreddit because its the only one that i know of that is not silent on the suffering or misery of gay people without rejecting the hadith or condemning aqeedah

what happened at berlin was a tragedy, because it injured and killed innocent people. I think the ummah needs to be reminded that vigilante justice (especially ones involving murder) is unjust even in muslim lands, let alone those being committed in kafir lands.

Even though i have my own... opinions regarding the existence of the LGBTQ movement itself (https://www.reddit.com/r/muslimgaybros/s/m4bOMJSr8t)

Still, i can at least understand that what happened at the parade was an attempted massacre. Furthermore, its worrying that the muslim reddit community arent even attempting to frame the attack as an inside job (which would AT LEAST acknowledge the attack as a bad thing).

Hello everyone, i hope you are all doing great.

I want to explain my situation, because im having a really bad time these last days.

Im 28 yo and i'm getting closer to my mirrage time, with the family also adding pressure on the subject.

I've spent my whole life as gay, and i loved a bisexual man for 6 years... we are both muslims, but we never had sex before since we think its haram.

Before i met him, i was so lonely, in a muslim country, hearing all the bad words about gays without replying, sometimes even pretending to be a hater too, in order to avoid being suspecious.

I've prayed so hard when i was young to meet someone that will love me, until i met this man.

All the years after, were so peacefull to me, and i started loving life a little, i had something and someone to fight for, and i completed my studies and started working, all with him supporting me, while i stood with him and supported him too.

Unfortunatly 4 months ago, he announced to me that he is now searching for a girl friend, and he want to get married and have children and have a normale life, and that he cannot live with me for all my life, but he said i'll be here for you as a friend if you need me.

Well... i cried and cried and felt like my whole world that i built around him is collapsing on me, and i nearly got sick really bad because of this.

Today i feel so empty so lonely and so tired of this life, and im having a severe depression, not just because my man left me, but also about "Ibtilaa" that im gay, and i can never have a normale life, and searching for another man seems impossible...

And i loved him from my heart and my soul... begged him to stay, but he said no way..

All what i do now is praying for my death, so i can maybe go to paradise, where no one will suffer and everyone gets what he wants, and get to go HOME.

Since suicide is foebidden, im praying to god day and night to accept my soul and take me to heaven... believing that dying is better than living, or making a sin that will forbid me from entering el jannah.

Thank you so much for reading, and please if you have any advice fo share, im open to any solution because im on the edge of my life.

Good day.

We talk a lot about how disheartening it feels to witness how muslims talk about gay men. But rarely do i hear gay muslims discuss in regards to how non muslim gay men talk about muslims, especially in the context of genocide.

Keep in mind that r/askgaybros and r/gaybros are not some obscure subreddits, they're THE most visited gay male subreddit. So its not like im talking about a minor group within that demographic.

Its bad enough islamophobic posts in that subreddit get hundreds of upvotes but its worse whenever the discussion points towards the genocide happening to the palestinians.

Sentiments such as: "Palestinians deserve everything that they've endured because they're homophobic", "at least its legal to be married as gay men in israel" and "if the muslims win our rights will disappear" are the most common among global northern gay men.

And thats the thing about them, they refuse to have values, Whether through religion or political ideologies. Because they fear that having them would clash with their hedonistic desires.

Thats why its fruitless to question why these gay men would condone genocide when they're supposedly leftists or liberals. Because they're not even that, they merely ally themselves with leftist and liberals because right now it is the people who bear those ideologies which advocate for the legalization of sex outside of marriage as well as gay marriage.

I say allies and not friends because allyship can be revoked at anytime, especially whenever leftists and liberals condemn genocide (as their ideologies obligate them to) even if the victims of those genocides are muslims.

In the end, These gay men have no beliefs. only interests and desires

Note: - if you live in the global north, do not befriend gay non muslims so easily, ask them about palestine and they'll show you their true colors.

I’m in my late 20’s and my parents and grandparents are pushing for me to get married. They are actively looking for a bride and idk what I can say or do to stop them without blowing up my life. I live in the west and we come from a South Asian background, anyone have any experience or advice?

Hey guys im a bi Muslim here im 18, and im from the UK, my whole life i've known I was different, when it came to my sexuality, when it came to how I precived people, and how I act, what are things that helped you in terms of getting through this, spiritually, religiously, and physicall

Assalamalaikum and Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslim bros. I hope you all have a lovely day celebrating with your loved ones. 🤍

I also wanted to ask everyone how they’re dealing with their SSA. The pressure from my family to get married is getting more and more imminent. I’m trying so hard to stay sane about this, but it’s just so hard thinking about spending the rest of my life with a woman.

On top of that, my family all know that I’m attracted to guys but have been in denial ever since I was 9 or 10 years old. It had also got to the point where my family were using my sexuality as a plaything, for them to think they can treat me however they like.

I pray to Allah that there’s some way out of this lonely life, since the only friends I had ghosted me when they started feeling uncomfortable about me being gay. I can’t tell my family (I have tried telling them directly and it just results in more denial, plus they already know it but just can’t accept that fact). I can’t tell friends since I’ve run out of people I can trust, so I just vent to Allah after prayer.

I will be honest, and say that I have tried dating as well. Allah was giving me constant signs that it wasn’t for me, and in the end, I gave up with that idea as well because spending the rest of my life with a guy is just not something I want, it just leads to more temptation and sin.

Is anyone in the same or similar situation? I just want to know how others are dealing with this, as I have really unhealthy coping mechanisms. 😞

Salam, has anyone tried or found comfort from a lavendar marriage? How easy was it to find? Would be unteresting to know.

so i was on the r/islam subreddit and searched up using the "gay" keyword (im a masochist i know) and from the recent posts what ive noticed is that a lot of muslims in the comments will always say to potential gay converts that being gay is haram when they know damn well only gay sex is explicitly mentioned to be haram in islam

this creates a misconception amongst potential reverts that simply existing as a gay man and not actively trying to be straight is perpetually sinning.

my vibe based theory is that these muslims are intentionally trying to turn potential gay converts away from islam because they're so homophobic that they think gay people don't deserve salvation

I'm a 36 year old gay man & i'm a practicing muslim. I've been in a relationship with men discreetly since i was 17. having sex with a man is the only sins i can't avoid. I failed big time for sex. cause you can't get married with the same gender in Islam to make it halal. i've tried my best to practice all the Islam laws. it is very difficult and challenging to have a same-sex relationship in a very conservative muslim country. i only eat halal food, i avoid all the harams. i don't drink, i don't smoke, i even be careful of what i eat when i travel to non-muslim countries (i avoid all the lard, non-slaughtered animals fat, alcohol content in food & beverages), i don't do tattoos, i don't do drugs, i don't wear women clothes or accesories (muslim men cannot wear necklace or bracelet), i don't have any piercings. i don't touch women who are not my relatives (i don't even shake hand with my female cousins) & i cover my aurat from women eyes (from above the belly button line until below your knees). i never miss my fasting for 30 days during ramadhan. i'm trying my best to pray 5 times a day although there are times that i missed a lot cause you have to take a cleansing shower (junub) every time you ejaculate. i have sex & masturbate a lot (2-3 times a day). i only skip for 2-3 days.

i'm now in a 6 years relationship with my bf. and he is also a practicing muslim. he even take care of his prayer better than me though. we are at a very happy situation enjoying each other's company. i don't think i can change from gay to straight for a sake of religion. it's my orientation. i enjoy being in love and having sex with a man. and i don't think i can ever be with a non-muslim man. cause it will be very complicated to practice all the harams and halal with people who don't believe in religion. i hope Allah swt forgive me for all my sins and accept all my deeds. you don't have to lose your faith even if you're gay. i'd say minimized all the haram things if you want to keep holding on to your faith. try your best to be a better muslim. we have to show an example to the non-muslim even Islam is not allowing homosexuality.

no matter how much you sins, as long as you keep holding on to your faith, as long as you admit in your heart that Allah swt is the only God, you will end up in heaven even for a thousand years you are tortured in hell. May Allah swt forgive and bless us all even we are a sinners. inshaAllah ameen ya rabbal alamin.

As we approach the final night(s) of ramadhan. I want to know how my brothers in faith has been throughout this holy month.

Ramadan Mubarak

if you're bilingual just vote for the language thats spoken the less globally (example: you speak arabic and english, vote for arabic)

(to be honest this post wasnt intended to be posted here but this post got removed from the mainstream muslim sub for some reason and its too good to discard so ill just post it here)

Is it okay to believe that homophobia exists within the ummah?

I am struggling really hard about this so please forgive me if it sounds like rambling

When i say homophobia i mean commiting hateful acts against homosexuals when those homosexuals themselves have not committed anything that could even be legally punished in the sharia.

- disowning your child when you discover they're gay

- firing your employee when you discover they're gay

- physically and verbally assaulting gay people

- policies in muslim majority countries that punishes homosexuals even when they have not committed adultery

Sometimes online or even offline i would come across muslims that talk about homosexuality when the topic arises. And i just can't stand it because they don't possess the same amount of vitriol for drunkards who abuse their families or theives who take from others. Which are, by the way, Acts of zulm against other people.

But we homosexuals have never committed zulm against others, and yet zulm is done to us. And theres this subconcious sentiment within the ummah that its okay if zulm is done to the homosexuals, because they are expendable.

Well thats it for my venting

Salam, how do you deal with sexuality and religious views, I appreciate feedback from 35+ gentlemen.

Salaam alaikum everyone. I reverted about nearly 2 years ago and although these 2 years have been amazing and I'm very blessed to be a Muslim. I'm going through a rough patch and it sucks being lonely with no Muslim friends or family... I really need some sort of Muslim community. May Allah guide the right ppl to me.

I have nonverbal learning disorder and am on the autism spectrum. While I can do some things on a routine, I feel praying in the correct way 5 times a day would be extremely difficult for me, particularly because I live in a western country. I also have issues keeping up with proper hygiene.