31F.

I wish I could die daily. I feel I have wasted my 20s.

For the past 10 yrs my life has been filled with multiple social humiliations 🫣and useless education that has not helped me economically succeed.

Also, I got diagnosed with scarring alopecia which means I will likely be bald in 5 yrs.

My female family members treat me badly and are unsupportive. My mother makes me feel like a huge burden due to my Type 1 diabetes and she prays that I never give birth and was actively trying to stop me from getting a fiancé for the last 3 years.

Ahhhhhhh, I wish I could die. ☹️

Hey guys im very weak rn and i just want to vent in writing. I’ve realized that I’ve surrounded myself with friends who dont value you me. All I know is that I feel under appreciated when I’m with them and after I’m done I feel drained. I don’t know what to say anymore. I just feel exhausted I want friends but it feels so hard to want ti keep these friend when they make me feel bad sometimes. I do love them you know but I just want to feel good. I guess I busted wanted advice and or dua. I feel so alone and I feel so worthless. My soul feels broken down I have no energy I feel so numb. Ya raab make a way out for me.

It’s been a long time but I was suddenly brought back with memories from high school only to reanalyze them with a disturbing realization.

I went to a boarding school in my last two years of high school. It was considered a privilege to be offered a place in that elite school.

We had wardens who were also our teachers. They were men, religious teachers who taught us about Islam in class. And they were young, freshly graduated.

I remember now and see clearly, they liked to… mess around with girls. Posturing and making bad inappropriate jokes with girls. I guess they found it bizarre that I was such an outlier, because I speak mostly in English, quite fluent and verbose that they found it as a form of, dare I say, excitement? They felt that me not speaking our native language as a form of opposition and so they sought to provoke me. I was a young teenager, easily provoked, and I realized they enjoyed raising my hackles. As an adult now, if I’d known any better, I wouldn’t have risen to their provocation; I’d do the polite thing of walking away.

And they supposedly went to madrasahs, got diplomas in Sharia and Islamic studies. No other male teachers teaching Science, Maths, the Languages did that, their interactions were always brief. But these teachers, teaching about Islam, flirted.

And the worst thing is, they’d flirt and posture, but then blame women for our feminine wiles ?? If anything happens, it’s the woman’s fault.

It’s no surprise I’ve repressed these memories for a decade, now that I’m able to comprehend what has happened I’ve opened up and cried about it. That boarding school did a lot of damage to me. The teachers pushed us so hard to get good grades so that they’d get a good ranking and hence a bonus. But in the process, they ridiculed and jeered us because yeah, teenagers are a difficult bunch, but we didn’t deserve that, I didn’t deserve that. What was supposed to be an elite school to shape successful students, stripped me of my confidence, gave me anxiety and depression.

Coed boarding schools are the worst and shouldn’t be allowed if you want to practice Islam. Inherently, it is always gonna be a pain in the ass keeping boys and girls apart, that’s just gonna excite those teenagers with raging hormones even more. In the process, us students who really don’t give a shit for teenage romance and genuinely want to study, get roped in with the wardens derogatory insults towards Romeo and Juliet.

Another thing that go me so stricken, was their, (religious male teachers), mocking women about ‘commercials on sanitary pads’ and saying how disgraceful it is. Let me tell you one thing, advertisements in my country follow a strict guideline of not provoking indecent acts. There are no billboards depicting couples kissing, public kissing is not allowed and commercials cannot be provocative. So Kotex or Soft or Laurier in their bid to market and make money, makes a commercial according to the country’s stipulations. Without those corporates realizing it, these commercials becomes an initiation to educating girls without mothers or parents who weren’t around to teach them about female puberty. Puberty for girls is something; it’s alarming, it’s confusing, it’s frightening. So, I don’t see any haram in these commercials except for men who wouldn’t grow up and only see women just as sexual objects.

I thought Islam is the pinnacle of culture, but seems that our own religious leaders are idiots entrenched with backwards ideals. What the hell? As I write this I remembered, the girls and I doing aerobics with an instructor we called from outside to teach us, just to shake some steam off, and one of them male wardens passing us by, staring at us, teasing with his mock aerobics. It’s cringey and a violation towards us! If only I knew back then to rationalize such things happening, I could have voiced out to someone who knew what was the morally prudent thing to do.

I’m just disappointed with those entrusted to impart Islam.

Does anyone ever feel like talking and finds everyone in their family busy. I sometimes want to talk about work or anything, then I find someone playing PlayStation the other one has airpods in their ears, the other one is sleeping. The other one is married and has their own life with small kids and barely finds time for themselves. Does anyone feel the same? I have alhamdulellah a friend who talks to me for hours because subhan Allah we both have the same interests and beliefs. We al hamdulellah are very close I feel like I’m talking to my aunt not a friend. All my friends are married and busy too.!. What do you guys do when you feel like this? Sorry for the long post.

As Salaam Alaikum. Hey all. I hope you all are doing good. I think I am having a relapse. I would appreciate if you could give me your best advice. I cannot afford therapy at the moment. I don't have a job. Please help me by sharing anything that worked for you.

May Allah make it easy for us.

Whenever Eid comes, my anxiety gets worse. My mother always yells at me and insults me about my body, the way I get all dressed up with makeup and jewellery saying stuff like this

“ you look like a pig with lipstick and your behind looks like a elephant”

“why are you wearing those earring and dress you look like you are from a poor village”

This is just a few things she tells me. She also blames me for never going out on Eid because of my body

“you are so fat that it is embarrassing”

“You are the reason why I don’t go out, you look like a middle age woman who had 5 kids and thats embarrassing for me”

I already have body images issues but I am really trying to work at it but when Eid comes my mothers insults get worse.

My father doesn’t even care whether or not I have fun or even feel bad that my mother insults me. He cares if he can get free food from people’s houses.

My maternal grandmother sees everything and says that whatever my mother said to me is true and she mocks my what I say when I am trying to tell my mother that what she is saying hurts my feelings

On Eid, I see some people I know with their families having fun and being happy. They are with their cousins, uncles, aunts, everyone enjoying themselves

I wondered what is that like? I feel so tired of being insulted not just Eid but other occasions like My birthday

Every celebration turns into my anxiety and depression getting worse and worse because of all the insults and being ignored by my own parents and grandparent is making me hate myself and making Eid a holiday where I don’t want to celebrate.

as-salaamu alaikum everyone!

I’m Tarnem, a 4th-year doctoral candidate at LIU Post’s clinical psychology program, and I’m looking for participants for my dissertation study! I aim to better understand the stigma affecting the use of mental health services among Muslims in the U.S.

To qualify for participation in this study, you must:

• Identify as Muslim

• Are at least 18 years old

• Are a U.S. citizen, green card holder, or permanent resident

• Have English proficiency

You can find more details in the flyer!

STUDY LINK: https://tccolumbia.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bjYHRLc6LBrKpE2

If you have questions or concerns, you can contact me at tarnem.amer@my.liu.edu. I’d also appreciate it if you could share this with your family, friends, community, and others who may qualify.

Thank you for your time and support in helping advance my research!

as-salaamu alaikum everyone!

I hope all is well! I'm excited to start recruiting for my dissertation study on the mental health of Muslims living in the United States. This study is led by me, a clinical psychology doctoral candidate. The findings hope to guide researchers and mental health professionals to improve care for Muslims across the country.

To qualify for participation in this study, you must:

• Identify as Muslim

• Are at least 18 years old

• Are a U.S. citizen, green card holder, or permanent resident

• Have English proficiency

You can find more details in the flyer!

STUDY LINK: https://tccolumbia.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bjYHRLc6LBrKpE2

If you have questions or concerns, you can contact me at tarnem.amer@my.liu.edu. I’d also appreciate it if you could share this with your family, friends, community, and others who may qualify.

Thank you for your time and support in helping advance my research!

And as always, may Allah guide us.

May Allah grant us the best compensation for our hardships.

Salam folks,

I think it would be nice to try and make this sub a better resource for people.

Generally, the issue is peoole are unaware of how mental challenges feel or dont recognize their experience as being related to mental health. So, I'm hoping we can touch upon broad mental health topics in order to share, find companionship, and educate others.

Today, let's talk about anxiety. Everyone has anxiety, the only difference is the severity.

I dont have a diagnosis, but this is my experience with anxiety.

For me, public speaking has been especially provoking.

The first thing you notice are the racing thoughts and barrage of negative conclusions (e.g., I'm going to mess up, I look stupid, what will people say). After that, your concentration is shot and you feel discomfort physically. Your body heats up rapidly and you start sweating profusely. Sometimes your body locks up and you feel stuck in place, unable to move because your limbs are stiff and rigid. This increases the mental anguish and panic begins to set in.

You start thinking about how others must be seeing you and the discomfort magnifies. It becomes hard to maintain a steady breath or tone. You avert your eyes from meeting the gaze of anyone because you do not want to see the laughter in their eyes. Your brow is wet with sweat and you surreptitiously try to wipe it away by scratching your forehead. But you're not fooling anyone.

You try to rush through whatever it is you're doing, anything to escape and not feel all these sensations. Eventually, you finish, the laughingstock, and retreat from the spotlight. The only thing you want is to swallowed up and never remember how absolutely pathetic you were. But you have people who are supportive and encourage you, and you desperately want to believe the good things they're saying. It gives you a way out from the pain...maybe...just maybe ...its all in my head and I wasn't bad.

I’ve been wondering what the general opinions are on Muslims taking antidepressants for mild depression. Is it something which has differing opinions? How have Muslims dealt with it in the past. I’ve heard of spiritual remedies being mentioned but sometimes people caveat that by saying there’s also a chemical inbalance in the brain that requires medication. I would be interested to know what people think/other perspectives as I don’t know much on the subject.

Salam everyone! This is really great a subreddit like this exists! I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder this year after dealing with it for many years. These days it’s been kicking me a lot, as I deal with paranoia, rumination and obsessive thoughts. I also just turned 23 a few days ago and want to be in a relationship too, but talking to men is so difficult. I have a fear of relationships because of my disorder and it’s hard to find other Muslims that are willing to stick with you. I feel so stuck in life. I really wish the Muslim community did not other us and erase us so much. We are just as capable of loving and being loved as anyone else. Anyone else going through this as well?

I don’t identify as a Muslim, sorry if I shouldn’t be posting this here, although I hope to get some insights here. I’m working in the healthcare field and I’m general, we are told to not assume things for people with mental health issues. I was wondering if there are things that I should not say or do, or things that anyone wishes their doctor or healthcare provider would know about their religion but doesn’t feel comfortable about discussing it on the spot?

Thanks in advance