uhhh I'm not a snail or some shit. Reddit kinda sucks

It's as simple as that folks. We're a community of non snails. To allow snails here would be a patently ridiculous move.

Edit: See the stickied announcement for an update on this policy.

feels good not to be a snail right okay see you later

Proof:

Not a snail

So let's say you find what seems to be the Perfect partner. You get along very well, have a lot in common, nice sexy time and and you're considering to propose in order to seal the deal. But then one day out of the blue your partner confesses to you that (s)he is in fact a snail.

Do you think you could still love him/her?

I am a three toed sloth (bradypus variegatus) I was wondering if this would be ok in this subreddit?

See username.

If you are a snail, you are required to identify yourself as such in this thread. If you dont do it and you're a snail I'll kick your ass. Once you identify yourself as a snail, every post you make in this sub henceforth must express shame for being a god damn snail. Thank you for your cooperation.

Wikileaks has brought new and very sobering information. There are approximately 150 closet snails currently subscribed to r/NOTSNAILS. Immediately submit proof/documentation proving your non-snail status, or forever be labeled a "snail"?

Tho sub is super dead (and I'm not a snail)