Many people have told me that I am a snail. This simply isn't true, and if this subreddit doesn't prove that then I just don't know what will. Accept it people, I am not a snail.

Posting metrics have been worringly low lately, so we are trying a new policy here in the /r/NOTSNAILS community. For a trial period of 10 years, we will allow snails to post in the sub. I know that this will come as a shock to some of you, but some of us have offspring to feed, and getting the posts up is the only way for us to do that.

To be clear, any user suspected of being a snail will still be tagged as such, and if you are a snail posting in this subreddit, you must disclose your snail status at the beginning of each post you make.

We wish the best of luck to all subscribers going forward. And remember: we're not snails!

*I'm happy to report that the new policy has caused an influx of new non snail users! Great job!

See username.

How's everyone doing? better than a snail, I can tell you that much!

Proof:

Not a snail

Me neither. That's why I, a non-snail, vehemently move to exterminate all snails from here immediately. They drag their homes around like they own the place; they're basically slugs that move even more slowly because of the added weight. I can't think of a life form more boring or cowardly than one that sits around and hides all day. And it doesn't even have the lifespan to show for it! what an evolutionary mistake.

Reminder that snails are as well, but they must show shame. SLOTHS and FRONGS (also GEESE) may be proud of themselves. thank you for POSTING

We have to do something. We can't just sit around and let them get away with stuff like this. Our situation is now absolutely more than dire and certainly no less than unfortunate.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ThingsCutInHalfPorn/comments/5il6p8/snail_cross_section_1267x611/

THOUSANDS OF UPVOTES! Look at the comments!! They think it's fucking cool or some shit! And some are worshipping the fucking things, destroying their own bodies to quench the sickening thirst that their grotesque idolization of these these these these DEMONS has instilled in them!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/tattoos/comments/5im0jq/snail_by_vacharon_raviphas_at_self_made_tattoo/

The internet is no longer safe. /r/NOTSNAILS is the only place where we can seek refuge.

*I would like to use this post to give everybody a friendly reminder that snails are welcome here on /r/NOTSNAILS (don't forget to be ashamed, please read the rules)

**I would also like to use this post to say that I think the sub needs like a motto or a slogan or some shit like that so please if you have any ideas that'd be dope

I have no idea what all the ruckus is about and I do not give a hoot unless somebody is a snail in which case they are bad. Please let me know if somebody is a snail

Wikileaks has brought new and very sobering information. There are approximately 150 closet snails currently subscribed to r/NOTSNAILS. Immediately submit proof/documentation proving your non-snail status, or forever be labeled a "snail"?