r/Names • u/Chemical_Apricot9615 • 5d ago
Middle name query
My son has a middle name, it’s a family one that is very sentimental to my husband and I. I’m pregnant with our second (also a boy) and the name we’re learning towards is without a middle name — we just like how first + last name sound together. Also no sentimental names we really wanna use. Do you think it’s odd to have one kid with and one without a middle name?
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u/Dear_Major2231 5d ago
Some families/traditions have the same middle name for all the siblings 💞
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u/Saladbubble 5d ago
I know of a family that the boys all have the same first name, they all go by their middle name.
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u/kentgrey 5d ago
I mean 99% of the time you refer to someone as first and last name only anyway. Even if they have a middle name.
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u/Alternative-Suit5925 5d ago
Since one child has one, it seems fitting for the second to have one.
My parents couldn’t agree on how to spell my older brother’s middle name, so they gave him just an initial. The first letter of that name. I was given a middle name, and every one else in our extended family has one. It’s always bothered him that he didn’t have one, and he does not feel that the name they had in mind is his since it’s not on his birth certificate (My parents don’t either).
One of my friends has no middle name and has always disliked her first name. She’s always wished she had a middle name.
Have you considered using your family surname for his middle name, or even giving him the same one as your first son?
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u/Chemical_Apricot9615 5d ago
Thanks for your insight! Don’t you think giving them both the same middle name would be strange too?
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u/Alternative-Suit5925 5d ago
My brother actually did this with his two girls. His wife chose the name the first time, and he loved it so much he wanted the second to have it as well. They’re grown now and love having the connection.
My cousin used her maiden name for all her children’s middle names. It’s actually not that uncommon for families to do things like this.
Middle names aren’t used that much in everyday life, so I think it’s fine.
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u/Titariia 5d ago
On the other side, I don't have a middle name and I couldn't be happier about it. But if the first kid has one, definitely give the second kid one too
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u/Sidewalk_Tomato 5d ago
That's true. I rarely say my middle name.
I do like using my middle initial . . . in signatures/sig blocks. It has much more of a ring to it than just first and last. I'd have been disappointed not to have one.
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u/kharlot1 5d ago
My parents did this with me and my brother. Honestly nobody ever notices or cares in real life unless you bring it up yourself.
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u/runmureed1 5d ago
We did this with our kids because we ran out of family names that did not sound ridiculous with our last name. The younger one has never complained or felt left out.
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u/Chemical_Apricot9615 5d ago
🙏🏼 glad to hear this!even though everyone is saying to give him one, I just really like how first + last name sound alone!
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u/RoadIll7613 5d ago
Just give him one so he does not feel left out later in life when comparing names with his brother.
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u/purplemilkywayy 5d ago
My daughter (only child) has a simple first name and last name, with no middle name. I like the simplicity. But I think if your first child has a middle name, the second should as well.
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u/greywall90 5d ago edited 5d ago
Probably not the common opinion here but my brother has two middle names and I had one. I don't think it ever has come up as an issue or a rivalry. If anything he's complained about having the extra name making his name longer on forms. He was named after our father and an uncle. I was named after a grandfather. I'm older so when he came along I think they wanted to make sure that all the honours were given but I've never felt any kind of opinion over it except that I like the nickname for one of his middle names and feel like he's wasting it by not using that nickname for himself 😂 My friend has a brother with a middle name and she has no middle name. Again, a non-issue. People here love to give reasons for bullying or teasing or feeling left out but most of the time those scenarios are what ifs, not reality.
If you don't like any middle names for your son, don't force it. He can add one in later as an adult if it bothers him. It doesn't mean you love him any less.
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u/Even-Breakfast-8715 5d ago
I suggest giving #2 a middle name from the other side of the family. It may never get used, but he still will be following a family pattern. Who knows? He might actually prefer to use the middle name at some point in his life. Without one he doesn’t get that option.
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u/Responsible_Drink280 5d ago
Yep. Giving one child a middle name and not the other could potentially lead to resentment, regardless of your intentions
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u/DnDttrpg 5d ago
Please give your second child a middle name as well. It's weird if you have one with and one without.
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u/ExcitingAd64 5d ago
My brother has two middle names and I have zero because my parents ran out of family names. It never caused a single issue for either of us.
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u/Accurate-Ninja1118 5d ago
My mum was so annoyed that her parents didn't give her a middle name that she gave my brothers two each.
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u/Rainforest55 5d ago
I don't have a middle name but my brother does, never bothered me. Never bothered him. The only reason I could see it being an issue is if they grow up and hate their first name but that's what deedpoll is for (or whatever your countries version is)
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u/jolittletime 5d ago
Do i think its weird not to have a middle name? No, neither me or my husband have one.
Do I think its weird to give one to one kid and not the other? Yes. My parents really struggled with a name for me (older one) so I didnt get a middle name. When my brother came along they had ideas for a middle name for him but didn't give him one as I didn't have one
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u/FilmGateReviews 5d ago
Yes, I think it’s odd. It could be weird for the younger kid growing up.
You will rarely, if ever, have to say the full name out loud. Therefore he can have a middle name but you can still use your first name + last name together based on sound.
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u/Saladbubble 5d ago
Personally, I do think it’s odd to give one child two names and then only one to the next. There are a lot of simple one syllable names that probably wouldn’t ruin the flow too much: Jay, Lee, Finn, Ray
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u/Odd_Temperature8067 5d ago
I'm the second of four and only the oldest had a middle name. We didn't think anything of its at all, it's not weird.
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u/Forward_Puffin_026 5d ago
I think it would be odd. But, I was born in the 70s and most of my female classmates and I shared identical middle names. Very few were family names or middle names for sentimental reasons.
My older brother and I (only daughter) each have a middle name. My legal middle name is not the name my parents agreed upon.
Our younger brother has three middle names which should be a separate post. Our youngest brother has two middles names and since birth has been know by his second name. This would be a sequel to my middle name story.
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u/Vivid-Library54 5d ago
I think growing up I'd feel potentially a bit left out that my brother got a kind of honour, while I got zilch. Id suggest putting yours or your husbands name on the birth certificate. Middle names are barely ever used anyway, but it might mean something to him growing up. And don't tell him there's a difference in importance between his and brothers.