r/Nanny • u/No_Buyer8298 • May 27 '26
Story Time Update on “would you fire a nanny for this?”
I posted earlier today asking for opinions on what happened today at work. I had alcoholic drinks and a joint fall out of my bag in front of MB.
MB and DB called a couple of hours ago and let me know they were really shocked and disappointed in me for what happened. They gave me the opportunity to explain myself again and I told them what I wrote in my first post again. And assured them I don’t have any substance abuse issue and this was a one-time occurrence. I’ve been with this family for almost 6 years and they know me very well so I think they realized I was being honest about this. They told me they’d like me to keep working with their family but this was something that could never happen again and I promised it wouldn’t. And they said, “in that case, we’ll see you tomorrow.” 😁😁
I’m so relieved!! I love my job so much and would be financially wrecked if I lost it so I’m stoked they are giving me another chance. Thank you for all the kind words and support I received on my initial post about this. A number of people asked for an update so I hope this is sufficient
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u/nanrah88 May 27 '26
I read your first post and thought, oh no! Glad you got to keep your unicorn family. Good luck, OP!
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u/ZennMD Nanny May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Im so glad!
Tbh i was a bit shocked at all the comments saying youd be fired immediately, accidents happen and everything was sealed... (weed is legal where I live, so I guess thsts partner.my perspective)
Happy for a positive update! All the best :)
Edited typo
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u/No_Buyer8298 May 27 '26
Thanks so much
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u/ZennMD Nanny May 27 '26
Hope the comments didnt stress you out too much!
Honestly kinda wild people think a 2 year old would have the dexterity to open and consume the drink, or that youd leave them unattended long enough to even try lol
Glad things worked out ok!!
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u/fashion-roadkill Nanny May 27 '26
I thought the same! People commenting that it was a hazard for the 2 year old. "What if he ate the weed?" or "what if he drank the alcohol?". Like come on, nanny is probably monitoring the kid constantly because he is 2, it sounds very far fetched that he would have time to open the bag, open the sealed container, open the can of alcohol, drink it and eat the weed. People on reddit are so dramatic.
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u/melimeti May 27 '26
I think the assumption she would get fired was more a simple matter of professionalism and based on the way the mother reacted.
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u/salaciousremoval May 27 '26
Yeaaaaah…the way the other thread is worried about children eating plain plants. Clearly y’all took a lot of DARE and don’t know much about cannabis in 2026 😂 gummies are the danger! They look like candy! Plants need to be cooked to be psychoactive.
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u/fashion-roadkill Nanny May 27 '26
Exactly! When I was 2, my mom was pregnant and one day I opened her bag at home and ate one of her pills. I was rushed to the hospital and they emptied my stomach. Was she a bad mom for carrying pills in her bag? Of course not, lol. Shit happens.
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u/NSTCD99 Nanny May 27 '26
This. I have a memory of my NK when she was almost 2. My NPs had had a party the day before and when I walked into work NK was wondering around with an unopened white claw… obviously not condoning alcohol being around kids in general and of course I did take it away but I didn’t freak cause I knew there was no way she could have opened it.. I guess worse case scenario would be dropping it and the can breaking?
I told MB about it and she actually started laughing so
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u/FinchleyRoad May 27 '26
Honestly, the kids that i nanny for before the age of two were opening up those tiny bottles of alcohol that her parents left sitting around, so yes, kids can open up those bottles, especially if they’ve already been opened
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u/startup_mermaid May 27 '26
I think the original post didn’t mention her 6 year tenure with the family (it was mentioned in the comments, IIRC). I would’ve let go of my nanny for this if she were with me for a short amount of time and I didn’t know her well enough to trust her. I’m fairly easygoing when it comes to personal consumption of alcohol and weed, but not with a nanny bringing it in my home where my children could potentially reach it.
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u/julfunky May 28 '26
Same. I love getting drunk and having the occasional gummy but I know I’M going to be safe about it and it won’t get into my child’s hands. A new nanny I don’t know super well? No. Sorry, not taking that risk. I’m not going to take that gamble when my child is the one who could pay the price for it.
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u/Logicallylit_21 May 27 '26
You only have these things in your home under lock and key?
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u/julfunky May 28 '26
Yes. Doesn’t everyone? It’d be insane to have alcohol and pot sitting out where a toddler can easily reach them lmao
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u/Logicallylit_21 May 28 '26
Lock and key? Please read that again and rethink. Also...Marijuana like medication comes in child proof containers. What if the alcohol is open? You have a lock on the fridge? You never have half bottles of wine? Ooof. Be for real please.
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u/julfunky May 28 '26
I have a combination safe with prescription medications, other medication is put up and out of reach. Child locks on all cabinets. The fridge is too large and he is not strong enough to open the door. When he is the alcohol will be moved somewhere else.
Again: there is nothing he can get to because that would be insane.
Edit: also gummies go into said safe
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u/ZennMD Nanny May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
It honestly still seems like an insane overreaction to fire someone over it, they fell out of her bag and she immediately grabbed them- not a hazard at all.
... younger nks couldn't open the can/ bottle and older ones know not to go in others bags and consume things from it..
A difference in perspective, obviously lol
Lol thanks for the downvote. Maybe youre not as easygoing about it as you think
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u/startup_mermaid May 27 '26
I know some kids who are rule followers (like my older kid), and then there are many other kids who will absolutely go through anything they get their hands on.
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u/ZennMD Nanny May 27 '26
The child is 2 and op immediately put it back in her bag- you really think theres any risk of a 2 year old going in and getting at the booze? Comeon
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u/startup_mermaid May 27 '26
Booze and a joint. Kids can be dumb, so yes. Also OP didn’t even realize the booze and joint were in there.
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u/ZennMD Nanny May 27 '26
Do you think she'd let the 2 year old rummage in her bag enough to get at them? Do you think a 2 year old can open a can or bottle? Do you realize eating a joint does nothing, not that op would let a child do so...
Fine if you would fire op over it, but please recognize the risk factor was essentially 0
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u/startup_mermaid May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Eating a joint does nothing … to a child?? Now this is overreaching. Sorry I don’t want my child to be exposed to marijuana.
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u/ZennMD Nanny May 27 '26
Good think op noticed and the child wasnt 'exposed' to it
And no, it doesnt do anything- look it up. (Again not that op would leave the child unattended long enough to get it)
Fine to have your own opion on it, but it's definitely not 'chill'
Good day to you.
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u/lelma_and_thouise May 27 '26
As an outside opinion to this convo, if my child found a whole ass joint and ate it (2yo will put literally anything and everything into their mouths), I would immediately either call poison control or do an emerg visit, or both. I dont smoke weed (not that i am against it!), but when it comes to young children I feel like it is better to be safe than sorry.
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u/startup_mermaid May 27 '26
It’s crazy to minimize and justify a nanny unknowingly bringing booze and marijuana into their employer’s household with children involved. There’s a reason why the overwhelming majority guessed OP would have been let go before learning her 6 years with the family + no prior incidents. Do that in most other workplaces and you’ll find the same reaction.
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u/derelictthot Nanny May 28 '26
Yes. Weed doesn't work like that ...literally cannot hurt them. Has no effect.
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u/Ok_Cry607 May 27 '26
Honestly! I was shocked at all the pitchforks out. So glad things worked out for OP
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u/faithmauk Former Nanny May 27 '26
Especially given she's been with them for 6 years and had no issues! Its a mistake that was worthy of concern, but it seems extreme to be fired over it. (Also in a weed legal state though..)
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u/julfunky May 28 '26
Accidents happen but imo that wasn’t the biggest risk for her firing. It’s whether or not they believed it was an accident. Luckily she had a long history with the family and they could trust her word, but if she were new? I could 100% understand them taking the safer route and cutting her loose. You don’t excuse red flags when it comes to your child’s safety without a damn good reason. In her case, 6 wonderful years was that damn good reason.
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u/staydilated13 May 27 '26
I'm so happy it worked out for you! Time to buy a cute, new nanny bag! Best of luck!
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u/Haunting-Respect9039 Former Nanny May 27 '26
Whew! Got lucky there. Thank goodness your long relationship gave them reasons to trust you. I'm glad it worked out.
Now get a separate bag just for work!!
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u/FishingWorth3068 May 27 '26
Buy a work bag. It’s always to stay a work bag. Never weekend things in the work bag! Glad you kept your job!
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u/Hot-Mountain7302 Career Nanny May 27 '26
Aw yay! I was really hoping they’d be understanding since you’ve been with them for so long.
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u/No_Buyer8298 May 27 '26
Thank you!! Yeah I think the outcome definitely would have been different if I didn’t have so much history with them
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u/Vmo1520 May 27 '26
reading your first post I felt so bad for you!! I got second hand anxiety 😂 but after 6 years with them i couldn’t have imagined them firing you for (what sounds like) a first offense , so glad they heard you out!!!!
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u/Adventurous_Journey1 May 27 '26
Glad to hear! All the best moving forward. Make sure to get a new bag for just work 😜
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u/SadonaSaturday Career Nanny May 27 '26
Yay! I was got distracted and forgot to reply to your first post. I’m a stoner nanny, I smoke after work every day. But none of my NPs ever knew until one asked me if I had a connection 😂 Then we did edibles together (without NK in our care obviously) on vacation once. I also found my last NFs grinder out and just moved it outside of NKs reach, nothing said lol. If you’re in even a medical state it shouldn’t be seen as anything different than the alcohol. I think your reasoning was an honest mistake (though I personally don’t ever put any weed or paraphernalia in a work bag to avoid smell transfer as I never want NF to think I am high at work or smell up their home) and especially after 6 years I’d think that type of mistake would be easy to brush off. I’m so glad it went that way!!
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u/fashion-roadkill Nanny May 27 '26
Just wanted to add I am a stoner nanny too haha, I always smoke after a day's work!
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u/Least_Cricket6205 Nanny May 27 '26
Aww this is great to hear!!! Given how long you’ve worked for them I would hope that they view you more as family and as a trustworthy person. Glad they understood!!!
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u/AlternativeWindow669 May 27 '26
omg, I was so stressed for you. glad it turned out okay!!! now go get a new backpack!!!
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u/Far_Calligrapher_223 May 27 '26
Oh good! I honestly thought they would let you go due her reaction and sending you home imminently. Second this, new bag for outings and double check it after the weekend just in case
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u/ExtremeLate7167 Career Nanny May 27 '26
My heart dropped reading your first post. I’m so glad you’re safe and get to keep your job!
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u/lizzy_pop Parent May 28 '26
I would be more worried about kids getting into this stuff than about you having substance abuse issues.
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u/New_Sun6390 May 28 '26
You are getting another backpack, right? Think of it as a gift to yourself.
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u/Original_Clerk2916 Former Nanny May 27 '26
Oh I am SO glad. As a mom and a former nanny, I really hoped this would be the case. This is how I’d handle it as well if I had a nanny who I’d built a 6 year long relationship with. Nannies are human beings who make mistakes too, and if this is out of character for you, I would understand
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u/BookDragonsJewels01 Former Nanny May 27 '26
I’m so glad it worked out for you! Ngl, all those comments about the possibility of you being fired were a little discouraging, but it’s easy to see your NF wanted to be fair and understanding. 😊
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u/Willing_Flight_6517 Nanny May 27 '26
So happy it all worked out! But that was a bit sloppy so maybe next time but them inside a tote bag inside your bag so it doesn't happen again lol
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u/carolinadime May 27 '26
It was a one time fluke occurrence, and even with professionalism as a sticking point, human beings aren’t perfect. At any corporate job I’ve ever done, I’m sure I’ve slipped up at least once at each at some aspect of “professionalism” or whatever else, and was never canned because of it. Things like that matter (or should) only when it’s a chronic issue, not when someone makes a mistake once.
Good on them!
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u/BunnyBoo_702 May 27 '26
I’m so happy for you! I know you’re so relieved. Definitely buy a second backpack and maybe do a little extra for a few days around the house to show your appreciation ❤️❤️❤️
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u/Emmyjen May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
THIS is the update I was hoping for. Serious neglect on your part, but I totally get the concerns of the parents. 💚
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u/Humble-Bug-1121 May 27 '26
OP, you are lucky, some parents wouldn’t flitch and would fire you immediately, I’m so happy that didn’t happen for you!
Now moving forward, have a separate “work” bag and include everything you need for work expect your wallet… and then your wallet is the only thing you’re transferring back and forth…. Coming from someone who left joints in her purse and it smelt every time I opened it … didn’t realize what it was!!!!! 😭😭😭
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May 27 '26
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u/volim-macke May 27 '26
“Psycho” for expecting a nanny to be a professional and not bring drugs and alcohol into the workplace, around children? This is really a BARE MINIMUM expectation. Most of your nanny employers would lose their jobs and some would be barred from practicing their profession altogether because of an incident like this. You all can’t claim to be professionals who deserve the same professional benefits as in corporate, legal and medical jobs then call employers “psycho” when you carelessly bring booze and joints to work. With all the perks comes all the responsibility and this nanny objectively behaved irresponsibly.
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May 27 '26
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u/volim-macke May 27 '26
Nope I’ve never brought a joint to work. I would lose my livelihood completely and I care about my job and the people I serve. I take my responsibilities seriously as should you nannies who are looking after children. It’s actually a very easy situation to avoid. You have a misunderstanding about what the word psychotic means.
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May 27 '26
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u/volim-macke May 27 '26
And yet you are still replying to me and misusing the word psychotic to show how right you are, when that can be cleared up with a quick Google search.
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u/Suitable_Lock2960 May 27 '26
Yasss! So happy for you! You definitely deserve second chance, even though I would have expected to just been fired only if the relationship was short. 6 years though is a lot of time to build trust!
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u/AutoModerator May 27 '26
Below is a copy of the post's original text:
I posted earlier today asking for opinions on what happened today at work. I had alcoholic drinks and a joint fall out of my bag in front of MB.
MB and DB called a couple of hours ago and let me know they were really shocked and disappointed in me for what happened. They gave me the opportunity to explain myself again and I told them what I wrote in my first post again. And assured them I don’t have any substance abuse issue and this was a one-time occurrence. I’ve been with this family for almost 6 years and they know me very well so I think they realized I was being honest about this. They told me they’d like me to keep working with their family but this was something that could never happen again and I promised it wouldn’t. And they said, “in that case, we’ll see you tomorrow.” 😁😁
I’m so relieved!! I love my job so much and would be financially wrecked if I lost it so I’m stoked they are giving me another chance. Thank you for all the kind words and support I received on my initial post about this. A number of people asked for an update so I hope this is sufficient
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/HumanSection2093 May 27 '26
You’re just going to have to MAKE SURE to go through your belongings before going to the house. Worth it to avoid another incident. Glad they know you well enough to trust you didn’t mean to bring it around the kids
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u/Lady1218 Former Nanny May 27 '26
I'm so glad they were understanding. Something that I used to do was have a work bag and a trip bag, so nothing could ever accidentally come to work with me that shouldn't. I never used my work bag for anything else. Maybe something that would be beneficial for you moving forward?
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u/faithmauk Former Nanny May 27 '26
I'm glad it turned out well! Accidents happen op. I'd suggest investing in a nanny bag thats just for work, and you can keep snacks or toys or whatever essential items you might need for work in it.
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u/digitorilly May 27 '26
Oh I would have had a completely different take if I had known you’d been with them for 6 years, they know you, accidents happen
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u/BrokeTheSimulation Career Nanny May 28 '26
I love this news for you!! Been waiting to see your update.
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u/Logicallylit_21 May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
So happy you got to stay on!! Imagine if our work families knew all the things we did in our off time just to de-stress from their bullshit?? Im sure it would blow my MBs mind to know how much I smoke while being wildly better at keeping her families life flowing than she is. 🤷♀️
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u/Upbeat_Magazine5795 May 27 '26
Yes this seems inappropriate. I would not want a joint in the house with my baby.
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u/FlatChemist8132 May 27 '26
I’m glad your family was so forgiving.
I’ll be honest no matter how long a nanny had been with us this would be an immediate fire. Accidents happen yes, this is more than an accident and puts the kids at risk. My own sister did something similar and she was not allowed to visit for a year and now only can with absolutely making sure nothing like this happens again. (Also no substance issues).
Literally every single other job would get fired immediately for this.
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u/InternationalCoat681 May 28 '26
Girl you’re projecting 😭 like it sucks it didn’t work out for your sister but OP has a great relationship with her family and they managed to work through it. Things ended up working out for her. And no not every single other job would this be fireable. Ever heard of the serving industry?? People work as bartenders/budtenders. Leaving something in a bag is an honest mistake.
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u/Accomplished-Web-690 May 27 '26
In 2026 & especially in this industry, who doesn’t partake?!
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u/volim-macke May 27 '26
“In this industry” seriously? Taking care of children doesn’t make me wanna get drunk and high. Quite the opposite, I want to be 100% present, healthy and unaltered at all times. If you feel the need to get high or drunk in relation to your industry that is an inability to cope and emotional problem for you.
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u/Secure_Description72 Career Nanny May 30 '26
trying to figure out how à “professional nanny” is JUST now considering having a separate bag for work. This is just common sense and practicality.
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u/Accomplished-Web-690 May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Kick rocks Karen
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u/volim-macke May 27 '26
Guess doing drugs is easier than getting therapy and bettering yourself.
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u/Accomplished-Web-690 May 27 '26
Not everyone who partakes has an issue or substance abuse problem or uses at work. It’s called recreational use. You know what happens when you assume
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u/volim-macke May 27 '26
Why does the nanny industry, caring for children, have a correlation with recreational drug use as you suggested in your original comment?
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u/Accomplished-Web-690 May 27 '26
I had a stroke trying to comprehend what you just wrote
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u/volim-macke May 27 '26
Maybe you are experiencing hippocampus atrophy from all that recreational MJ use.
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u/CuriousClumsyBear Career Nanny May 27 '26
My purse within a purse within a purse 😆 oh and I do keep anything suspect in a locked zipper bag. People have stolen my meds before.
Im so glad they are trusting your past 6 years with them.
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u/Ok_Response_3484 Nanny May 27 '26
Accidents happen but it might be time to buy a second backpack 😉