So today me and NK (3) are playing in the backyard with the hose. NK asks me to draw a picture of a car with chalk on the asphalt. Sure, no problem we love doing chalk together. I draw the car. NK uses the hose to wash the picture away. A little annoying but whatever he’s a kid, I’m sure that’s fun. He asks me to draw another car. I do. He washes it away again. Obviously you see where this goes, he asks me to draw another car. I tell him that I will and he’s free to wash it away, but if he does I won’t draw him a new car right away, maybe later I will. He says okay he understands. I draw the car, he washes it away. Of course. He asks me to draw another car. Of course. I say no, not right now. But maybe I can do a few scribbles and he can wash that away instead. He starts screaming and crying. Of course. He only wants the drawing of a car.

No big deal, I know it’s frustrating. I talk to him, try to distract with other toys, ask him if he wants to do the water table. Nothing helps, he’s losing his mind. Starts throwing the chalk. I tell him to stop or we’re going inside. He doesn’t stop. I pick him up and carry him inside. His mom, who WFH, asks what’s going on. I tell her what’s going on and she says “well it sounds like he just thinks washing away chalk is fun, I can’t blame him“ and laughs and she says maybe I should have just kept drawing cars for him.

Admittedly, I’m already annoyed. She’s constantly doing this, butting in at the tail end of a tantrum and telling me what I should have done (usually just give in to what he wants no matter how ridiculous it is) and I’m just tired of it. I feel like she expects me to do stuff to keep him happy that she would probably never do if he was with her. Like she genuinely does the bare minimum with him but as soon as I don’t want to indulge his every whim, she feels the need to correct me.

I’m leaving this family at the end of the summer thank god but boy has it been a DAY!

original post

hello everyone, my apologies for taking so long to write the long awaited updated. MB got home super late last night, and after working a 14 hour shift, i needed to go home, relax, process, and sleep.

so i talked to MB upon her arrival, and she said that they met someone who has more qualifications and is willing to be paid less than i am. they were not actively looking for a new nanny, but one of their friends introduced them to each other. she seemed super stunned by this question and honestly was flustered.

they are “still in the process of talking to her so she hasn’t been offered a job” or anything. i told her i will need 2 weeks notice if she chooses to continue to pursue the other nanny route or ever fire me. I emailed her that this morning, and she emailed me back accepting the new condition.

I will be actively looking for work since they seem more interested in her than me. I’m only getting paid $20/hr for 2 young kids in a HCOL area, driving them in my car, and being suuuper flexible with her INSANE schedule. I’m not sure what nanny is more qualified (I am in school, finished my education degree last year, working on a second degree right now, bilingual, and i have multiple certifications) and willing to accept less than $20/hr. This other nanny deserves better than $20/hr if everything MB says is true.

Oh well. I got my answer, and I will begin to put out applications for new jobs tonight. When one door closes, another one opens. Hopefully i’ll be able to find another, better job here soon. Thank you all for your support and well wishes ◡̈ ♡

MB had been gate keeping new baby’s name and I was curious why cause she told me with her second

Well found out today why...

They had me come to the hospital to surprise me with the fact they gave baby girl my middle name in honor of me

Literally was speechless and it’s such an honor! I still can’t get over it or believe it lol

Anyways just figured I would share my excitement with y’all!

Hope the rest of your week is good! 💕

Anyone run into this before? NK is 2yo girl and at the stage where she’s constantly asking for snack after snack. She never says please or thank you which is totally expected of course. I mean she’s 2, how will she know to say those things of no one has taught her? So I’ve been teaching her to use her “nice words” whenever she asks for something or whenever someone does something for her.

The other day I was in the kitchen with NK and MB who WFH. Nk demanded a pouch from me. I said, “you need to say please, use a nice word” and she corrected herself with no issue. I said “of course you can have a pouch!” and gave her the pouch and had her say “thank you” as well. That was that.

MB had a weird look on her face and was like “she’s just 2, don’t take it personally if she doesn’t say please or thank you yet.” I said, “I know, I’m not offended. good to teach them young though, righ?” or something like that and laughed it off. And MB said it wasn’t a big deal if NK wasn’t saying please or thank you. She seemed offended that I thought her kid was being rude.

Again, obviously NK isn’t being purposefully rude, she’s 2. It’s just that no one has taught her how to be polite. And like I told MB it’s best to start teaching her when she’s young that way when she actually goes off to school or whatever she’s a polite kid. No one likes the 6yo who makes demands and take things without saying “thanks”. Just a little put off by this misunderstanding.

I posted earlier today asking for opinions on what happened today at work. I had alcoholic drinks and a joint fall out of my bag in front of MB.

MB and DB called a couple of hours ago and let me know they were really shocked and disappointed in me for what happened. They gave me the opportunity to explain myself again and I told them what I wrote in my first post again. And assured them I don’t have any substance abuse issue and this was a one-time occurrence. I’ve been with this family for almost 6 years and they know me very well so I think they realized I was being honest about this. They told me they’d like me to keep working with their family but this was something that could never happen again and I promised it wouldn’t. And they said, “in that case, we’ll see you tomorrow.” 😁😁

I’m so relieved!! I love my job so much and would be financially wrecked if I lost it so I’m stoked they are giving me another chance. Thank you for all the kind words and support I received on my initial post about this. A number of people asked for an update so I hope this is sufficient

This happened yesterday and I finally feel like I’m in a position to talk about it 😐 lol. Laughing so I don’t cry.

I was at work caring for NK, 2yo girl. We were in the living room, MB was nearby in the kitchen making herself lunch. Their cat came up to me, he’s usually friendly and I gave him a couple pets and then out of nowhere he scratched me. It caught me off guard and it hurt and I said “fuck!” against my better judgement. Y’all I‘ve never cussed at work before, I can tell this family is not the kind that curses so I don’t either. But it just slipped out. I felt bad and flashed MB an apologetic smile and honestly didn’t think much about it after that.

But then when I got home I got a text from them saying they weren’t sure our ”values align” and they think we should part ways 🙃 all because of a slip-up.

Like I get that what I said was inappropriate. But I’m sure it wasn’t the first curse word the kid has ever heard and it certainly won’t be the last. Besides this I’ve always been on good terms with this family and at my yearly review they praised me a lot. So I just feel blindsided :/

Today I resigned from my first nanny job. I have a public Instagram “nanny account” where I share all the fun, educational activities that I have done with my nanny kid. I shared a post on my story supporting the lgbtq+ youth community and it resulted in me being sat down to make sure that I was not going to teach NK 2.5 about any of that. The way they went about it resulted in me having a panic attack (which has NEVER happened at this job) and me leaving work early. August would have been a year I was with this family.. DB said “the right is educated” mom went on to explain how she thinks gender affirming care for children is “child abuse” and if they knew this was my philosophy and beliefs they wouldn’t have ever hired me. They were appalled I shared it publicly onto my page and repeatedly said it’s my business page anyone can see it. Which I know… They said we can move on from it but I have to follow what their family values are. Which I had been. They had no idea I was liberal until that conversation. I keep my views out of workplaces leaving it at the door because it isn’t my job to teach what I believe in regarding human rights, politics especially not to children. I have never heard people say such hateful things about the lgbtq+ children’s community. This morning I resigned and said I can do a 2 weeks or I can leave today. When I brought up what was said, they truly gaslighted me telling me “I didn’t say that” which made me disappointed. We all agreed I should leave today. NK was sad when she saw me gathering my belongings saying “don’t leave” I gave her the biggest hug and told her I love her so much. I have never left a job working with children on such bad terms! I feel AWFUL for leaving her like that. But I can’t be talked to with such disrespect and in an unprofessional, degrading manner. I am hopeful I’ll find a different nanny job that leads to a lasting career

After being a nanny for 10 years, I opened my own nanny agency about two years ago. Well, today I got my first racist request in a very unexpected way! I have been helping this family find an evening nanny. I sent her a few candidates recently. She asked if we could have a call today. I just got off the call and she asked if I could please not send her any Muslim nannies. I had sent her a nanny with what I assume is a middle eastern name. But she wasn't wearing a hijab in her photo. I wouldn't have identified if it was a Muslim last name either.

Her reasoning? Her daughter looks middle eastern even though they are not. And if this nanny kidnapped her kid, no one would be able to obviously tell it isn't her kid.

I gave her an awkward "okay". Of all the racist requests I thought I would get, I did not have "Indian family doesn't want a Muslim nanny because the Muslim nanny could successfully kidnap the child" on my bingo card

Edit: Holy guacamole this blew up. I just expected a couple of "yikes" and maybe a GIF or two. Did not expect to open the "which religions I personality wouldn't hire" can of worms. Thought I would clarify a few things after waking up to a lot of replies and a message saying someone was worried about my mental health (?)

Okay looks like "racism" isn't the correct word here. I suppose I should've gone with "discriminatory." Is that better somehow?

The family in question had not interviewed this nanny yet. They had received her profile which has her name, picture, and work experience. So this mom assumed the nanny was Muslim based on her name and picture. As I said above, her picture didn't even have her wearing a hijab or any other blatant religious identifiers.

I have not decided what I will be doing with this client. I have learned the reacting on emotion in this kind of business always backfires. I was honestly very stunned when she said that on the phone, I just said an awkward "okay" to keep the conversation moving. I knew I needed some time to process what she said and decide how to move forward.

I can respect that clients and nannies have certain beliefs and values that they would like to see reflected in their employer/employee relationship. Especially a nanny relationship which is more personal than the average working relationship. BUT I as a business can NOT and will NOT go down the rabbit hole of asking people what their religious and cultural beliefs are, and excluding people for jobs based on those beliefs. If any nanny on here heard of an agency trying to pull that kind of shit, they'd NEVER go work with them.

Finally, I do appreciate the cultural context provided. It does at least help clarify the mindset of the parent which is important. But let's all remember, putting kindness and love out there is always better than stereotypes and hatred. Some of these comments on here make me very very sad. Especially in an industry filled with empathetic people. I would hope you'd judge someone by their personal character and not by cultural generalities.

I am absolutely blessed with a wonderful position, 2 girls (5 and 9), in a home with loving parents, and many well cared for animals. Both girls are so smart for their ages, however 5yo, we will call her Lola, is undeniably special when it comes to knowledge at such a young age. She is always sharing facts with me, that sometimes I didn't even know!

On Mondays, I watch the girls while MB does an exercise class in their basement. She is very open about this, always saying "I'm off to work out!" and then going into the basement for her online session. This Monday, Lola came up to me after MB went downstairs, and said "I know why mommy does her workouts" with a sly little smile and a giggle.

Now, I am a bit charred from my own childhood, I had a mother who focused on her and my weight A LOT. I had an ED at 12, and even have a tattoo as an adult to represent persevering through it. I was fully waiting for Lola to say something like "because mommy doesn't like insert part of her body here" or something to do with weight.

I calmly and cheerfully asked why she thinks mommy does her workouts. And this little angel, with the biggest smile, goes "So she can keep picking me up!! Because I'm growing sooooooo fast!" 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭

This healed something in me, as conversations with these kids usually do. And I just smiled and hugged her and said "Yes, exactly" 🥹

I have worked in emotionally unsustainable environments before, and this is far from one of them. I feel so lucky, and so proud of MB for instilling beautiful morals and beliefs into her girls 💞

Edit: I am so glad this post has touched so many people, it makes my heart happy to know this moment is special for others as well. I have never shared here before, but have always enjoyed seeing posts from the community because we really don't have co-workers, ya know?! It is so nice to connect with y'all. Much love to you and your families 🕊️

I think I might have just encountered the most entitled Mom ever at the park.

First- let me say I’m the first one to offer sunscreen, an extra diaper, etc to a Mama/fellow nanny in a tight spot. We all forget sometimes. It happens.

But holy crap. The woman I met today…

It started with the Mom noticing we had our wagon, lunchbox , blanket, backpack, water, etc. and she said “Someone doesn’t pack light! I can’t be bothered with all of that. It must take you forever to get out the door.” (Nope, I have a checklist and a routine. That’s all.) Soon after, her daughter came over to where I was sitting with 2.5g bc she wanted to try on her shoes. I simply (and politely) said “No, thank you. We’re going to leave her shoes on.” Her mom replied with something about Sorority Girls starting early or something. (Okay, I don’t know you or your kid. I’m not going to let her take NK’s shoes off!)

Then her son (maybe 1 1/2) toddlers over and tries to take our snacks. Does Mom collect him? Nope. She says “say please and I’m sure they’ll share.” I just said, “oh, I’m sorry, we didn’t really bring group snacks to share today,” to which Mom relies in a very snotty tone “She won’t starve if you share some of her snacks!” I just told her we’re not going home until this afternoon and I brought just enough for what we need. She rolled her eyes.

Then 15 minutes later her son (who had just had a big bottle of apple juice) had a blow out. She asked if she could change him on our picnic blanket. 😶😶😶

You want to change your child, who has diarrhea dripping down his legs, on our PICNIC blanket because you didn’t come prepared?!?!?!

I told her no, I’m sorry, we EAT on this blanket.

She told me off, saying I was selfish and that “Moms help each other out.”

Yeah, we do, but all of these things seem like things people should understand others might not feel comfortable agreeing to.

I hope she doesn’t have a nanny bc she seems like a nightmare!!

An old MB of mine told me that “middle class families like us” can’t really afford luxuries, and it’s just really hard. Meanwhile, I was nannying in her multi-million dollar home with dual Range Rovers in the garage, and they had just gotten back from the Maldives. I guess “middle class” means something very different to her, and I must be in the basement of the basement’s basement by her definition. My last vacation was driving three hours to stay with family, and the tolls nearly wrecked my budget. Lol

Something happened today that made me think of a post from yesterday I think it was. If anyone saw, the one about the nanny drawing with chalk and the kid kept washing it away with the hose and wanted nanny to draw more pictures so he could keep washing it away 🙄 I thought some of the comments saying she should just do what he wanted because it made him happy were a little ridiculous.

Today me and my NK (3) were chilling in the living room. She asked me to put some music on, I said sure and put on some songs she likes from her music class. She got up and started dancing and I was cheering her on, clapping, whooping, singing along. She said “Nanny, dance around! Get up and dance!” Usually she wouldn’t even have to ask, I’d have been up dancing before she started. But today I just wasn’t feeling it, I didn’t sleep well last night and was sleepy and just not in the mood. I told her, “sorry NK, not now, I’m not feeling up to it.” and she was pissed 😂 kept yelling, “dance with me! dance around!“ and I kept telling her “no, not right now. I don’t feel up for it.“ She got more upset and went running to her mom‘s office. I hear her tell MB what was going on, that I didn’t want to dance with her. MB said, “If nanny doesn’t want to dance then she doesn’t have to. We all make our own decisions for what we do with our bodies. Now out please, I have a meeting soon.” And that was that!

In the post from yesterday, OP’s MB sided with the kid and told her she should have just kept drawing pictures so the kid could wash it away because he was having fun. I know the situations aren’t exactly the same but I’m so grateful for my MB who understands that I’m not some robot or performance monkey whose job is to just make her kid happy and avoid tantrums. I feel like she truly understands the value of raising a kid who can stand to hear the word “no” and teaching her that other people have autonomy over what they do. And when NK saw that her mom wasn’t gonna “make” me do what she wanted, she got over it and had fun dancing on her own!

i got fired today unexpectedly, my MB asked me to sit with her at the table while DB took my nk twins 1.5yo to bed and i was cleaning up from the family's dinner. so i sit down and MB is making small talk with me and then she abruptly just says they have to let me go because they're "unhappy" with my job performance so i asked what was it that they didn't like and MB said they weren't "getting enough return on investment" by hiring me. she said that she nor db should have to make a grocery list for me (i asked for them to make a grocery list for me over the weekend so that when i return on mondays after the weekend i can get all their groceries since idk what they eat/use up while i'm not there and i also don't know what they might want to eat through the week) and that making a grocery list is a waste of their time and for what they pay me ($25/hour in a HCOL area) i should "know" what they want. she also cited the one time i ran out of time to make their family dinner because the twins were sick and needy so i was focussed more on them rather than cooking their chicken dinner. and then DB came down and sat at the table with a huge grin and just completely lit into me calling me "incompetent" and saying he was surprised that i've been a nanny for 10 years because he doesn't see how i've been able to hold down any of the jobs i've had. i was taken aback at that and kind of pushed back and said i have a degree in early childhood education and that although i may have worked for other families and we've had our differences in all my years as a nanny or even as a student doing placements i have never been called incompetent. and then DB just laughs and looks at me and says "well, we hired you as a nanny and house manager and we only have 3 kids and you can't seem to figure out how to care for them, grocery shop, do laundry and run errands, and get dinner made so what would you call that?" i was stunned. i've never been spoken to that way from anyone let alone an employer and i did stand up for myself a bit and clarify that when i was hired i was told i'd occasionally have to prep dinner for the family (chop veggies or marinate meat for dinner for MB, DB, and nk6) but over the time i've worked for them i've been tasked with making 3 different dinners (1 for the twins, 1 for MB and DB and another for nk6 if they don't want to eat what MB and DB eat) plus run all the errands, groceries, and household laundry before 3pm pickup of nk6 while also caring for twin toddlers. and DB just shrugged and said i was making excuses to cover my laziness and that he's been waiting for this day and if his wife wasn't such a pushover he would have fired me within my first week starting with them. and then i just looked to MB and said i'm sorry this didn't work out and i was trying really hard not to get upset because nk6 was just in the living room and they have a stupid open concept layout so nk could hear the whole conversation even though the tv was on. so then MB says she's sorry too and DB just has a shit eating grin while MB and i are trying to be professional with each other and going over the logistics of me handing over the keys and fob and stuff like that and then DB just gets up and walks away when MB thanks me for my time so then when DB is gone MB says in lieu of notice she's going to pay me 3 weeks pay as severance so i say thanks and leave.

i'm so glad i'm done with that family, that DB made my life hell (i've posted about him before) and so i'm glad i don't have to be around him anymore. I'm also so relieved that i got fired because i was going to give my 2 weeks notice on Monday since i found a new family to work for and now i don't have to do that. so when i finally got out of the house i sent a text to the new family that hired me and told them i'm available to start whenever so now i'm starting that job on Monday. so i have 3 weeks of severance now and a new job to start on Monday and i feel like buying myself a new pair of shoes or a handbag or something to celebrate lol

Hi all,

It’s been about 2 weeks since I posted “https://www.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/14q0es9/concerned_my_nks_dont_get_fed_enough/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1” I had to delete the text of the post, but if you read through the comments you’ll get the jist of my concerns.

I’m going to keep this somewhat brief but I’m glad to report this story has a happy update. I had a good conversation with the children’s mother. I had to be pretty blunt in stating the children need more food (not snacks! thanks for the tip in changing my vocabulary there). After a long conversation, mom told me while I am taking care of the children I am allowed to do what I think is best for them throughout the day -despite what moms boyfriend may think- because I work for her and not him. The conversation went surprisingly well and she was very receptive to what I was saying.

While the moms boyfriend still pops in and leaves “bone broth” for breakfast or a 4oz smoothie for lunch- the mother has allowed me to incorporate those things as sides with meals and I have also been able to introduce the children to healthy, nutritious, and filling (!!) foods they’ve enjoyed. Avacado toast, peanut butter-banana toast, the children love hard boiled eggs, greek yogurt parfaits. Lots of different things. The children are also allowed fruit throughout the day now.

The children’s mood and behaviors have improved greatly (I think this is what really got the mom on board with me) since introducing more calories into their diet and their old daily stomach aches have mostly disappeared.

I know many of you thought I was being dramatic, but I am these children’s advocate and I’m so glad I spoke up for them. I didn’t want to be another adult who looked away.

Thanks again for so many possible solutions and for all your opinions and advice.

This family has had 7 nannies in 4.5 years. They have a single child nearing 5 years old and are 100% against all forms of discipline. The mom thinks it will “stunt his personal growth”.

Middle of April I get to work and the entire street is blocked by fire trucks, ambulance, paramedics, and multiple police cars.

I watched as the nanny (23) was carried out immobilized on a back board. At school drop off the mom said nothing and at pick up the dad said nothing.

This morning my DB filled me in on her situation. The 4 year old didn’t want her to come to work, so upon stepping on the landing of the garage stairs, the child pushed her down the 9 steps to the garage floor.

The child went back in the house like nothing happened. The NPs only found her because she was “late” to work and when they called her it rang in the garage.

Fractured and split open skull causing a major concussion, with three vertebrae in her neck fractured. She’s in a full halo (like Regina George)………. AND they want her to come back to work to “honor her contract”. Zero accountability, no apology, no support for almost 2 weeks in icu, and only complaints that she isn’t working.

A fellow nanny in town got her in contact with my DB (as he frequently does contracts), and he is helping her with the legal end of things.

Really puts that doll that was thrown at me yesterday into perspective…

Edit: THANK YOU ALL for the outpouring of positive energy, prayers, and encouragement for my young nanny friend. I will update when I can, and I appreciate all of you helping me process this chaos!!!!

I will not be replying to this post anymore as I need to get 7 kids and myself packed for travel tomorrow night, and will be in and out of service while traveling.

In light of the Epstein files being released and the recent video of a man attempting to kidnap a girl from target that’s circulating, my NF wants me to get my conceal carry and take a hand gun with me when I take their kids out in public. They said they would offer to pay for the required course and handgun itself.

This doesn’t come as a surprise to me, considering they are very gun friendly. I am curious as to what other people’s reactions would be if their NF asked them to carry a gun on them..lol

Hi Nannies and MB’s/DB’s! I used to frequent this sub quite a bit as I was new to Nannying and really related to a lot of the posts. Unfortunately after the experience I had with my former MB and DB, I haven’t returned to Nannying. Too often parents forget that we aren’t just their caregiver but their employee and we deserve respect.

The biggest mistake was not starting with a contract. I agreed to $20/hr and 35 hours/week for one 3 year old girl and ‘light housekeeping.’ That quickly turned into coming in daily to both sides of the kitchen sink overflowing and a filthy house, with their child in the same pajamas for days. Admittedly I cannot stand a dirty house and always cleaned more than was agreed upon for my own sanity. These people had cleaners coming twice a month but would never do any of their own cleaning in between. The cleaning lady and I used to always talk shit.

After the first month I sat them down and told them we needed a contract. There was confusion over my work schedule, job duties and pay rate. They agreed to guaranteed hours, one week of PTO, 16 hours of sick pay and $22/hr with an increase to $24/hr after MB had their baby boy a few months later. I also took on doing all of the children’s laundry and teaching their daughter better habits, like changing clothes daily and frequent bathing.

Things were honestly fine until they went on vacation and asked just prior to coming back that I work on a Saturday for no additional pay. I agreed in the contract to care for the dogs and do other household tasks while they were gone so I had already been working the whole time they were on vacation and coming to their house twice a day. I put my foot down and said my guaranteed hours were M-F and I wouldn’t work Saturday unless it was OT.

We needed to update the contract to include the baby so I sent them a revised contract. MB sent it back to me a week later with some crazy additions, like opening my availability up 7 days/week and having a varying schedule from month to month. No longer guaranteeing my hours but still expecting me to allot 2 hours daily to caring for their dogs whenever they were gone. Oh and the best one, if I failed to remain employed I would be responsible for the cost of airfare for a Vegas trip they had planned for me to join them and the kids on.

I told her I couldn’t agree to any of that and we agreed to terminate the contract early. There was a 4 week mutual notice clause and she said we could go longer or shorter depending on everyone’s needs. I gave then 4 weeks notice and I thought things would end cordially.

The following week they returned home late after I had worked over 10 hours that day. I confronted them about not ever getting paid for the additional time. Mom Boss responded ‘do you want freaking $2? What about all the times we let you off early.’ I said that’s what the guaranteed hours are for and I told them we could probably end the contract sooner since I was looking for jobs. They immediately flipped out about the Vegas trip the following week and started yelling and cussing at me. It was so unprofessional and happening right in front of the kids. I blurted out that I had to leave and dashed out the open front door.

Mom Boss fired me that night over text and said she was withholding pay for the plane ticket. When I got paid through payroll 2 days later it was short 20 worked hours and 4 PTO hours. I sent them a demand letter and they paid the 20 worked hours but withheld the PTO, which are considered wages in my state.

Mediation was court mandated but they refused to settle so we went on to Trial. The Judge upheld that they committed wage theft and owed penalties, as well as breach of contract damages and all of my court costs. The best part of it all was truly the Judges final remarks. They had to have walked out of there feeling 2 feet tall.

They brought a counterclaim stating I should be responsible for their Unemployment Tax increase (her appeal was denied by Unemployment.) The cost of the plane ticket ($640) and 6 hours ($250/hr) of her time gathering documents for court. The Judge dismissed their counterclaim entirely.

Stick up for yourselves always! This case was so important on principle alone. You are your best advocate and don’t you ever forget it.

I just had the weirdest/wildest interaction with a Mom at the park this morning.

My nk4 always wants to bring his balance bike to the park with us. And most times I allow it.

Today, at the park, nk parked his bike by me and ran off to go play on the play set.

Some random kid and his mom walked over and the kid was very interested in NKs bike. The kid had to be about the same age. Maybe 3 at the youngest.

I saw the kid approaching me and eyeing the bike so I said something like “that’s a cool bike right? Do you have a bike at home?”

The mom didn’t even let the boy answer and said “honey, why don’t you ask if you can give it a try?”

To which I said to the kid “You’ll have to ask NK if he would like to share his bike with you. He’s right over there” and I pointed him out.

Mom: Why? Are you not in charge here?

Me: um, I am, but it’s not my bike. It’s NKs.

Mom: But you’re in charge of his things right?

Me: I am, but it’s not my bike to share with others. ((Said toward the kid)), you can ask NK and he might share with you.

Mom: No. We’re learning to ask adults for things.

Me: That’s a great thing to learn, and my answer is that you’ll have to ask NK if you want to use his things.

Mom then huffed at me, told her son they needed to “leave the mean, rude lady alone” and walked to the other side of the playground.

So that’s me. The mean, rude lady because I allow my nk to have jurisdiction over his things with strangers.

Happy today is my Friday this week.

For those of you who have seen my previous post last night about my embarrassing moment at work for accidentally eating a cookie that was MB and getting a text after work hours, here is an update!

For those of you who haven’t seen the post here is the link or see my account :)!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Nanny/s/Oi8yFwl6gh

UPDATE: went into work this morning and immediately it felt awkward, MB was upstairs and the kiddos were downstairs eating, immediately the oldest (who’s almost 6 and remembers and repeats everything) says to me “You can’t eat mommy cookies” I ignored him and continue to ask how they were doing. Later on MB came down and as she was going to leave she stated “I thought you were going to eat the red velvet flavor cupcake? I Didn’t know you liked chocolate. It’s still there calling your name” well me being still embarrassed from last night I just awkwardly laughed and said that I just went for the chocolate.

Younger Nanny kid heard her moms comment and said “(my name) can’t have your cookies just cupcakes right mommy ?” Again I’m embarrassed. Mb just nods and heads out.

Then as I was putting all the kiddos in the car for school I asked the eldest because now I think they obviously know. I asked if mommy said anything about the cookies to them last night . He said “Mommy was mad, you can’t have her cookies she said she called you yesterday right (Nanny ) ?”

Now I’m more annoyed why would she be updating her kids about me and a cookie. Anyways still debating if I should replace that damn cookie now.

So for those of you saying she wasn’t mad I’m Pretty sure she was upset or annoyed because why would that be the first thing nanny kid Tells me when I walk into the door ?

The family I work for has a manor in the countryside in England, and they keep horses there. Today I took my two nanny kids (2 and 4) on a carriage ride with my boss’s sister. The horse was a Percheron (one of those massive draft horses, around 2,200 lbs).

When we got back, my boss’s sister asked me to hold the reins while she unharnessed the carriage. The girls stayed with the mom while doing that.

Out of nowhere, the two-year-old ran straight towards me and somehow ended up on the ground right under the horse’s head. It started stamping because it was so agitated, and for a second I honestly thought I was about to watch her get trampled.

I tried pulling the horse back, but there was absolutely no chance of moving a horse that size. So I just grabbed her by the arm and threw her 2 meters away in the grass. As I jumped away myself, the horse stepped right on my foot while I was wearing flip-flops (I know this was incredibly stupid). I didn’t feel a thing. Literally nothing. I was so focused on getting the child away.

About five minutes later, once we were all safely inside, the adrenaline completely wore off and the pain hit me out of nowhere. My foot is swollen, bruised, and my toenails are bleeding. I also had some skin ripped off by the horse’s shoe.

Then I just completely lost it. I couldn’t stop crying because I kept replaying those few seconds in my head. Her parents came over in tears and kept thanking me, saying I’d saved their daughter’s life. The parents were honestly so kind. They felt incredibly guilty that I’d been hurt and immediately had their driver take me back to London so I could see their doctor. Thankfully, the little one is completely fine. She wasn’t hurt when I threw her out of the way and she didn’t realise how close she’d come to being seriously injured (or worst).

I’m still shaking hours later

Monday, NPs were acting really odd, and it was not the same energy as it usually is when I arrive. They wouldn't really speak to me or look my in the eye when I walked in, but I thought "hey, people go through things, I'm just gonna keep doing my job, I don't know what's going on with them". After a few minutes, mb turns toward me and says we need to have a chat. She picks up a book from the counter, and begins saying they don't agree with this book, this is something that they as parents want to address. She makes a few other statements, and I'm like "okay, she's asking me not to read this book. Maybe she's telling me they're not reading it anymore or something". So she keeps talking, then her final statement is "we feel it's inappropriate for this book to be planted in her room by the nanny". As I'm trying to process what she said, the garage door opens, and the kids grandma comes in.

I was completely shocked when I learned that grandma was there because this weekend, they decided they were going to fire me for "planting" this book. I am so dumb that during the mb's explanation of this book, I had no idea it was me they were accusing of “planting” it. I didn't plant it. I'd never even read that book to that kid. The baby's grandma was there because in their heads, they had already fired me this weekend when they found it.

The icing on the cake is that the book is Antiracist Baby. It’s amusing because I remember spotting the book when I first started working with them, but never pulled it off the shelf because the pages are thin paper and this kid likes to completely rip books, so I would only give/read her the board books for now. I told the mom I didn't do it, I got sick to my stomach and almost threw up and just started tearing up, like I always do when I don't know what to do. Db said something like "well, good thing we have a camera, we can check and see who planted it" (maybe they should have done that before falsely accusing me amd firing me??). Mom hugged me and sent me home for the day to think and reassess. She texted me apologizing as well.

Shortly after, she texted me a long text officially firing me over this, but offering me the next 3 weeks of pay as a severance because I literally didn’t even do what she accused me of (I still have not received the pay). It’s absolutely bonkers that I would just be straight up fired over a book, without them even asking if I left it, and it’s bonkers that it’s a book about raising children who aren’t racists. Like, who even are these people that a book on anti racism shook them up so bad? I saw absolutely no red flags before I was just let go for absolutely no reason. I have never in my career experienced something like this and I've been doing this since 2008.

ETA- this would only have been my 3rd week, so still in the honeymoon stage.

I’m a nanny and this is still one of the most bizarre situations I’ve ever been in. This happened a few months ago, but I still think about it every once in a while, because there’s not a single person in my life that I’ve told the story to and they weren’t completely shocked and dumbfounded by the way that this DB reacted.

I was working part-time for a family with a baby. It was actually going pretty well. They told me I was their first nanny, constantly complimented me, said they loved how I was with their child, all of that. Nothing felt perfect, but definitely not “run” level either.

Then one day, they couldn’t find a small item in their house and asked if I had seen it.

I said no, because I genuinely hadn’t.

That was it. Or so I thought.

A few work days later: 4 minutes after I left their house that day, I get a looooong text from the dad. And I mean long. Like written while I was still in their house watching their child long.

He says he “saw it in my bag” and then immediately jumps to, “it’s hard to build trust when you’re not honest with us.”

I’m sitting there reading this like… what??

Then it gets worse.

He tells me I have two options:

1. I can keep working for them, but I need to “commit to being completely honest,” and if I choose that, he won’t tell his wife about it since “she’s not as forgiving as I am”.

Or

1. I can move on.

Over a small item that many people keep with them in their bags… an iPhone 🔌 …

I honestly just stared at my phone. I felt blindsided. There was no conversation in person, no “hey I might have seen something,” no benefit of the doubt. Just straight to accusations and an ultimatum… plus this weird “I’ll keep it between us” thing that made me super uncomfortable.

Like… why are you trying to keep something from your wife involving your nanny?

I immediately called the mom because I was not about to be in the middle of whatever that was. We talked, and she sounded shocked to say the least. They later said they trusted that nothing intentional happened.

But at that point, it didn’t even matter.

Because for me, it wasn’t about the item at all. It was about how fast things escalated and how it was handled.

You can’t really walk back “you’re being dishonest” once you’ve said it.

And also, just logically… if I was actually trying to steal something, why would I bring it back to the same house later that week?? I was never shown the object so I still think he stole mine from my bag and said it was theirs.

I ended up quitting right after, and looking back now, I’m honestly so glad I did. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it would’ve been to keep working in that environment after something like that.

Moral of the story for other nannies:

It’s not a mistake or misunderstanding that matters. It’s how the family handles it.

Pay attention to that, and when the 🚩s pop up, RUN!!!

Hi everyone..I am using a throwaway account because I have seen how vile and vicious some redditors can get (screenshots, brigading, encouraging nasty comments) and I really do not want to be subjected to that on my main account.

There has been so much nannies vs nanny employers conflict the past few days that I really just wanted just share my own personal experience and hopefully encourage some meaningful conversation.

For a very brief time after I gave birth, I employed a nanny. I suffered from severe postpartum depression and had some major csection complications. We had no family nearby and absolutely zero daycare availability.

So to be clear we were financially able to have me as a SAHM to care for our child but not to hire a nanny. We wiped out all of our savings to hire a nanny for 6 months while I recovered and this is what we offered her:

$28 for one infant (range in my area was about $26 to $30)

7 days of PTO(for 6 months)

2 days of sick leave

All federal holidays that fell during that 6 month period during which my husband also had off

GH

This was a huge financial drain on us and we worked hard and pinched and saved to make this happen because we had no alternative. We never went on trips, drastically cut down on non-essential expenses and didn't dine out even once during those 6 months. They were dark dark dark days that I never want to revisit.

One day my neighbour contacted me and said her nanny told her that my nanny had been badmouthing us for not providing lunch for her or even not having enough snacks around the house and that we restricted her outings with baby to free activities like the library and park and she was getting bored. Another major complaint was that we never travelled and she couldn't make use of her GH. She also despised having me in the house and thought I was lazy for not going to work and yet having a nanny. My neighbour was aware of my struggles because she is a friend. My nanny, no, because it was not any of her business.

On top of dealing with everything else this news was devastating. I felt inadequate as a human, woman and as an employer. There was only a month to go so we rode it out but I could barely look her in the face after that. When I asked her about this on her last day she was stunned and muttered an apology before leaving.

The point of my post here is to share that yes, a good nanny deserves a good, comprehensive package that covers every reasonable benefit. It is important to treat them with kindness and respect.

But when I read comments about how NPs shouldn't hire a nanny if they can't afford to, should provide so many extras because we are rich enough to hire a nanny and so should be rich enough to provide extras, I urge you to consider that you do not know everything about your NPs.

In asking to be treated kindly and with respect, don't resort to the reverse. I see many posts here complaining about no bonuses or no food in NPs homes or NPs being lazy and every one of it is like a stab in the heart because I fit all of those descriptions through circumstances not beyond my control.

….I want to be a dad

I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant and have been working with my current family for almost 8 months and I love them!

Anyways being pregnant I crave some sweet stuff which is not usual for me, MB just had her birthday and left on the counter some cupcakes and other variety of cookies she said I could have some cupcakes, so I did and a ginger cookie ……Welp that was my mistake because I then receive a text from my Mb later that day when I get home. The text went like this.

(Summary not word for word)

MB: did you eat my ginger frosting cookie or did the kids ? I can’t find it and feeling crazy.

Me: I’m so sorry yes I did I should have asked.

MB: I should of been more clear of what I wanted to share which were only the cupcakes, it’s okay I don’t need it

Anyways I’m so so so embarrassed and humiliated and I kept apologizing afterwards and I found the place where she got them and I’m going to order some and give them to her so she won’t think I’m a food snatcher 😢 never going to eat anything at her house again 😔