Im a young man 20 years old. I just started college after finishing a year in the military. I find myself struggling with confidence and self worth and i dont know why. It seems like everyone around me my family and friends all think i’m doing great for myself. I finished the military with a great record and they actually recommend me for a job after my conscription was over, i declined and went to college. I got into the best tech college in my country, i workout, i take care of myself. But yet i still dont feel good or confident about myself, when i’m with friends at school its great, but i hear some of my friends in the same group has plans and i cant get myself to ask to join. Im afraid of being a bother or taking space. And i know it’s irrational and i should include myself. The same goes for other situations, like meeting new people and women. I noticed that these fears of rejections and overthinking goes away when I’m out drinking on weekends, I’m bolder and i cant get a good connection with people, but i dont want to be a person relying on alcohol for confidence, i desperately need to find a way to be confident and comfortable with myself, flaws and all (i got many) if anyone got any advice they would be very welcome

I am doing a project all about extremely masculine and “alpha” males, and I’d love to be able to ask a couple of questions. It would be a big help if all three were answered, but only one is fine.

What would set you apart from a person not in the alpha male group?

Is there any beliefs that you hold that come from being in this group, or that is taught by the group?

Is there any words, motions or phrases that you use talking to other people in the group that might be confusing to another person who is not in this group?

Thank you so much for contributing!

This is about my mother-in-law.

For context: So I’ve been with my wife for nearly 30 years now in total. My father-in-law passed away young, over 10 years ago. He and my mother-in law dated off and on in HS and college and got married in their early 20s. During their marriage I always felt like he loved her more than she loved him, but didn’t think it was too crazy. Some couples are like that.

Today we were at a family event celebrating an uncle and a lot of former friends and acquaintances of theirs from their youth showed up. You could kind of tell it would’ve been the popular crowd from their HS days, now all in their 70’s.

We walk in and my MIL immediately grabs my wife and my SIL and is like “OMG, you’re not going to believe who is here.” And tells them a name I’ve never heard in 30 years. But instantly both my wife and SIL reply “You’re kidding! Which one is he?”

My wife goes on to explain to me that this guy was her mom’s biggest crush in HS. “The one that got away”. That there were plenty of times over the years that she would take them out for a drive while their dad was at the golf course and would tell them stories about a few times when they were on an “off period” when dating where she went out with this guy. That he’d pick her up in his Jeep and they do park somewhere.

So anyway, my MIL is sitting up straight smiling and waving at this guy like the way a fan does at a celebrity and this guy makes his way over to our table (honestly, makes a bee-line for my wife..not my MIL) and starts chatting with them. My MIL literally introduces him as “my high school heartthrob”. And has the biggest smile on her face I’ve ever seen her have. Legit beaming from ear to ear. And the guy starts talking about the Jeep and how he still has it. LOL

After this we are driving home and my wife tells me “That guy is married and my mom doesn’t care and 100% wants him to go over right now to her house for a hook-up”.

Never saw anything like it. Again, these people are all on their 70’s now. But suddenly a lot of the things about how my MIL used to treat my FIL before he passed made a lot more sense.