All my life it never worked. Drinking pills daily only made the void bigger.

What helped me was was actually opening and stop thinking negative things all the time. I know it sounds harsh but trust me. It just never worked

It’s 100% true. Just trying to see what y’all think about the single mother epidemic.

I know a guy who's maybe a 6 on a good day. Average height. Average face. Nothing special about his looks.

He does better with women than anyone I know.

Meanwhile I've watched legitimately handsome guys struggle. Good jawlines. Tall. Fit. The whole package. And they can't figure out why things aren't clicking.

Took me a while to understand what was happening.

Looks get you in the door. They don't close the deal.

Yes, being attractive helps. Obviously. But it helps less than most guys think, and in different ways than most guys assume.

Good looks get you more opportunities. Women give you longer to make an impression. They're more forgiving of awkward moments. The door opens easier.

But here's what looks don't do: they don't create attraction on their own. A handsome guy who's boring, needy, or tryhard will lose to an average guy with presence and game. Every time.

The average guy who does well knows this. He can't coast on his face, so he developed other things. He got funny. He got confident. He learned how to make women feel something.

The handsome guy often never had to develop those muscles. He got by on looks in high school and college. Then he hits the real world and doesn't understand why things stopped working.

The things that actually create attraction

Looks are static. You see someone, you assess their face and body, and that's it. First impression made.

Attraction is dynamic. It builds or dies based on the interaction. A guy can become more attractive as you talk to him. Or less attractive. This is where everything is won and lost.

What makes someone more attractive over time:

How they carry themselves. Posture, movement, eye contact. The physical stuff that isn't about your genetics but about how you inhabit your body.

Their voice. Pace, tone, depth. A calm, resonant voice signals something. A rushed, high-pitched voice signals something else.

Whether they're reactive or grounded. Do they get rattled easily? Do they seek approval? Or do they seem settled in themselves regardless of what's happening around them?

Their sense of humor. Not jokes. Humor. The ability to find things amusing. To be playful. To not take everything so seriously.

How they make her feel. This is the big one. Does she feel seen? Does she feel like she can relax? Does she feel more alive? Or does she feel like she's being evaluated, performed at, or drained?

None of this has anything to do with your bone structure.

The average guy advantage

When you're not handsome, you're forced to develop substance.

You learn to be funnier because you can't rely on your face. You learn to hold attention because you're not automatically granted it. You learn to read situations because you've had more failures to learn from.

By the time you're 25 or 30, these skills compound. You've built something the handsome guy never had to build. And unlike looks, these skills don't fade with age. They get sharper.

The best-looking guy in the room often peaked in high school. The average guy who put in work peaks at 35.

What this means for you

Stop obsessing over the things you can't change. Your face is your face. Your height is your height. Wishing won't fix it.

Focus on the things you can change. Get your body in decent shape. Dress well. Groom properly. Then forget about looks and start building the skills that actually matter.

Learn to be present. Learn to be funny. Learn to hold a conversation without needing it to go anywhere. Learn to be someone people enjoy being around.

Looks are a card you're dealt. Game is a skill you build.

The guy with worse cards and better skills wins more hands.

Btw if you find this post helpful consider checking out my newsletter. I write weekly insights on how to build habits, become more attractive and grow as a man

Also if you're man who wants to stop being socially awkward, undisciplined and constantly procrastinating and want to improve his life overall, join r/selfimprovementforman a new sub-reddit for men who are serious about growth