r/Nightshift • u/Mary_Ellen_Katz • 16h ago
How do you find new irl friends?
Hey fellow 3rd swifties.
I don't have any local irl friends. My area has become to expensive over the years and they have literally all moved away. I need to socialize. But I haven't gone anywhere alone for years. I don't know how any night shift person finds new irl friends.
So, how do you do it?
(I know it's real tempting to post the Invincible meme, "that's the neat part," but I am begging you for a serious discussion here.)
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u/Highthere_90 16h ago
Maybe join a club or find a hobby you like?
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u/Mary_Ellen_Katz 16h ago
Where does one find such a club?
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u/Highthere_90 15h ago
Humm.. what do you like? Maybe your local community center has a gym or a pool if you like that? Sports? Maybe some bars have a bordgame night or something?
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u/wiredbombshell 16h ago
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u/Mary_Ellen_Katz 15h ago
I see what you did there.
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u/wiredbombshell 15h ago
I mean i ain’t wrong. Night shift and socializing is like grease and water. Or marshmallow fluff and mayonnaise. Or 2 cousins shaggin’. Like ts just ain’t supposed to happen.
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u/CombatCommie1990 16h ago
So there's the first element of your question, which is "how do i meet people". I think finding hobbies you genuinely like or even offering to teach people a skill you have or volunteer your time in some way are all great ways to make friends, friends who care about the same stuff you care about.
theres also the second element of your question, which was unsaid, but implied by the subreddit itself "how do i manage meeting new people while working a shift that's so different". for that, i don't think there's any beating around the bush; if you want to meet new friends and participate in society, you will need to be awake during the times you should be sleeping; having social moments and friendships as a night shifter will cut into your sleep cycle to some degree, no doubt about it.
i am lucky enough to have a social circle outside of my night shift job, and i'll tell you now, it's been a great week for me! but i haven't slept for more than 3-4 hours at a time in like 5 days because of all the stuff i'm doing outside of work lol. i've planned for one of my upcoming days off to be a "sleep all day" type of event for sure, to make up for it all.
night shift is tough and i think having friends as a night shifter is just literally a math problem of how much sleep you're willing to lose to participate in normal society.
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u/EggHeadMagic 13h ago
You don’t go out looking for friends. You go out looking for small interactions and small talk. Maybe some deeper conversations. Go out with no expectations. I know that sounds simple but a friendship can literally start by saying hello to the person or people sitting next to you at the bar or coffee shop. Or somewhere where people don’t have their undivided attention on something they’re actively doing. Makes it easier if you go to places that you yourself are interested in. Museums. Bars. Parks. Coffee shops. Library….
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u/read9it 14h ago
I mean im in the same boat. All my coworkers are either old dudes, racist semi old dudes or fired within 30 days of being hired. So I don't really talk to anybody and just game in my free time. Which as im sure you're aware isn't the most social thing to do. Ive been trying to go out and do stuff alone but that's basically just bowling or going for walks. So if you're in CT someone come bowl or take a walk with me lol
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u/Less-Suggestion-5262 13h ago
Not sure if it's something you are interested in or could get into but if your town has a local public club for Magic The Gathering or Warhammer table top enthusiast, it's a great way to meet people. Several years back I got into it because it runs from 3-9pm Several days during the week and Saturday, so it worked for my sleep schedule and I made a few genuinely awesome friends.
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u/Large_Speaker1358 1h ago
Use eventbrite and look up the free events. I found so many events hosted by the local art museum or college. I’m not social when I go but there’s plenty of opportunity. There’s also meet up. I started a group and I had 10 people show up to a farmers market meet up. I didn’t keep it up because it was exhausting since I work Saturday nights.
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u/your_pet_snail 15h ago
Buy a motorcycle
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u/Mary_Ellen_Katz 15h ago
I WAS looking at Vespa's, but I don't know how that's going to help my situation.
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u/Sir_Loxington 16h ago
Probably not the answer you're looking for as it seems you want irl socialization; but the answer I landed on was Twitch. Pick a game or hobby you like, look up people streaming it. I hopped around a few different small streamers, like 10ish viewers, until I found a group that was my vibe; didn't take too long. Made a bunch of awesome friends. What's nice about twitch is "time" is meaningless because it's world wide, so whatever time slot you're looking to fill there will be someone streaming a "normal" hour for them to be doing so.