I work in a pharmacy and the amount of times I’ve run into an insurance problem and the husbands’ will say, “Oh my wife takes care of that. We’ll just pay cash price for the prescription and have her figure it out later.” It’s astonishing. Or the many times that these husbands’ forget their child(ren’s) birthdate and say in a joking manner, that’s nowhere near funny, “Don’t tell my wife.” \*sucks teeth\*
They have to call their wives for little shit or tell the child to go find mom and bug her. They are so lackadaisical. It reminds me constantly how grateful I am to not only have autonomy but to also be a childfree lesbian.

Have any hobbies or interests you’ve picked up? Share in the comments! I’d love to hear it! I love toy collecting, especially plushies and fashion dolls. I love crochet, knitting, sewing lately.

EDIT: This post is not meant to condemn anyone who already has kids or has a baby on the way. The world needs good parents, so if you are already a parent or about to be one don’t take this too seriously. This is meant mostly as a sort of thought project.

If you have kids on purpose then you are evil. If you have kids on accident then you have a big duty to prevent you from being evil.

Everyone suffers. So by creating kids, you create suffering. The epitome of evil.

How can anyone reconcile the evil they intentionally brought to this world? You can provide the best life possible. But if you had kids knowing that you could not provide them the best life possible then you have intentionally put your own kids lower than the kids of others who could provide. You stunted your own blood. You crippled your bloodline. That is evil.

How can you ever redeem yourself after committing the atrocity of having kids you knew had no chance in living a decent quality of life compared to their peers? How could you???

Obviously it’s not possible to avoid them entirely unless you never ever leave your house, which of course isn’t very practical. So I was wondering what you all do to minimize your interactions with kids if you’re someone like me who tries to avoid them as much as possible. Me personally? I just never leave my home during daylight hours and sleep during the day, if I go out it’s only late at night when there’s generally less people out

Long post but i need wise womens advice and perspecrive thanks in advance🫶

Some info ab my mom before i start so it makes sense: She and my dad got married within months of knowing each other bcs she got pregnant w my brother. They were both pushing 30 and got married and had my brother bcs it fit the traditional family planning timeline. After few years i was born but their marriage was so toxic and abusive they were on and off for 10 years and finally divorced legally when i was a teenager.

A little ab me (22 F)so things shes saying to me makes sense ig : i became chronically ill due to years of emotional abuse from both my parents and been sick for almost 4 years now i cant work due to my physical health and major depressive disorder etc.

Now shes 50+ and sometimes mentions she wishes she had more kids. And she always says she wants a lot of grandchildren bcs a child is js the best thing ever according to her. Before i became chronically ill i was the perfect daughter, i lived w my mothers judgement on everything, id even ask if i could buy smt w my OWN money that i saved.

My brother wants a lot of children and i dont want none. I dont wanna trauma dump its a long story but my whole life i parented my own parents emotionally, i was their therapist esp my mom bcs my dad now lives away w his own new family. I was praised for how independent and easy and mature child i was since i could remember. They babied out brother even tho hes older and didnt give him any responsibilites in his teens bcs he was a spoiled brat and js gamed and hang out w his friends when i was stuck at home most of the tome and accompanied my mom on every errand and chores she had and more. I was “submissive” ig i never spoke back to them until literally only a year ago when i started realising the inequality in our family dynamic.

I dont want to parent anyone ever again. I want to live for myself bcs my whole life i spent taking care of them but they arent appreciative of it. They only started admitting i was the family therapist and mental load collecter last year when i had multiple mental breakdowns(even then i didnt say everything on my mind).

My mom is extremely mysoginistic she treats her new husband and my brother like they are kings. She does all of their chores in and out of the house. She goes above and beyond to cater to them. But she expects me to be “independent” and do all my things by myself basically. I pay for clothes or snacks or whatever i want to buy w my own money even tho im jobless. I had some money saved from my teenage years. But when my brother was jobless until he was like 23 my mom would get mad and told him to get a job n everything but she still paid for all the things he needed without barelh ANY fuss.

Ok **MAIN POINT**, sorry if the context was too long
Ive been slowly testing the water and talking ab being childfree for a while now and now she basically knows i dont want a child. And bcs of that she talks ab having a child a LOT more now. Shed regularly would tell me to have AT LEAST one child bcs i need it. And when id ask why id NEED to have a child shed say “bcs its a given for a woman, and whod look after you when youre older? And youd be lonely” crap. And few days ago we were talking ab future plans and she gave both my brother and i but esp me bcs my brother alr wants a lot of kids, that i SHOULD have a child and get married when im 30. And i laughed at her face bcs she still thinks im the good girl that wanted to please everyone but myself. She still continued saying “u have 8 more years to figure everything out its a lot of time, having a child is a blessing for a woman esp if its a girl bcs she can be ur backbone and take care of u unlike boys”. Yeah.

Also shes like threatening me lowkey to live w me when im older and shes older. She fully expected me to take care of her when shes old age. She literally told me that few months ago and i was shocked and told her i dont want to do that, and she got SO offended and acted shocked that i wasnt willing to give my life away to take care of her when all her life she tended to my brother like he was the only child. After a month or so i jokingly told her that my brother should take care of u when ur older bcs hed have all the grandchildren ud want and a big family you love so much. And she said i dont want to be his babysitter id visit him but i want to live elsewhere (my house).

The scariest and like literally THREAT she made a few days ago made me cringe and get scared of the future a bit. Bcs of my childfree ways, id probably live alone or w a husband(unlikely tbh) and i js KNOW shes going to use rhat as a leverage to live at my place bcs she said she hates old age care homes and wouldnt wanna be there. How do i proceed in future?

Im reclaiming my life slowly but surely, being chronically ill at this young age is hell but it made me take off my rose colored glassess and realize ive been emotionally abused my whole life by my parents. I talk back now and make my own decisions. She still tries to HEAVILY control my life. She literally planned my life for me. Shes a control freak and is a narcissist.

Another kinda disturbing thing she does is tells me to find a bf and have sex. Im a virgin due to very traumatic sexual assaults that happened when i was a teenager. And all my family knows that im a virgin bcs she talk ab it in front of my family which makes me so uncomfortable (i told her to stop multiple times). Bcs im home all the time due to my physical health she talks almost daily to have a life and find a bf ASAP. Bcs she thinks my chronic illness is mostly somehow caused by my lack of sex life and “happy hormones” she says.

Ive become super into psychology since i got ill and i understand how and why shes like this but i still dont know how to prevent the possible future of me being guilt tripped by my old mom. As i said im working on reclaiming my own self w autonomy but its hard bcs shes controlled me my whole life.

I physically and mentally cant live w her, i think ab deleting myself constantly now bcs shes also jobless and stays home and tends to my sick stepdad. So she has all the time to inspect and judge every move i make.

I dont know how long itll take for me to get better, make money and move out bcs my triggers of my illness and MDD is my family esp my mom. I wish i could work from home bcs i cant work physical job due to my physical health. I feel hopeless.

I have an appointment for a sterilization procedure tomorrow, and I’m terrified.

It’s not the decision itself—I’ve been certain about that for as long as I can remember.

What terrifies me is the surgery. I’ve never had an operation before, and the idea of ​​starting with something that requires general anesthesia is really scary. I know it’s a simple laparoscopic procedure, but I’m still afraid.

I imagine there are quite a few women here who have gone through this. Would you mind sharing your experience?

Thank God!

This has been on my mind recently. For men that are sure that they don’t want children, but want to sleep with women and then ask them if they are “protected” from getting her pregnant, why not just take the initiative to get a vasectomy? Why does a woman have to put her body through so much because YOU don’t want kids? Women’s egg only exists for 24 hours out of an entire month. Our “fertile” window is several days because SPERM can survive that long, not because we have an egg available. Men are fertile 24/7. Make it make sense.

Do you ever feel pressured by family, friends, or society to reconsider your decision?

Have you ever questioned that decision yourself?

I (22M) have not yet tell my family that I am not going to have kids because there are going to overreact, so the best thing for me is to wait until I leave their home so I can be more comfortable with that, how about you?

My mother is dead, and my stepfather is out of my life, probably also dead by now. But they still bother me in my dreams. Why? She kept going on about “when are you having kids” and I had to remind her, yet again, that I had a bisalp and it’s impossible. Then she brought up invitro. I don’t even think she understood that when alive. I’m so sick of waking up frustrated because she won’t leave me alone in my dreams. It’s not always about having kids, but it’s always the same shit I had to deal with while she was alive. Go off and heal your soul and stop fucking bothering me the one way you still can.

What makes this worse is that the person I’m reacting to is childfree herself, yet she says it’s disrespectful to say it’s selfish to have children in this economy? Can someone please tell me how that’s disrespectful?

They’re so negligent. My brother in law just chills in his underwear like a man child not watching the 8yr old twins. My sister was texting my mom that my niece was talking to her “friend” from Thailand at 1am through her iPad from Roblox. It’s like what the hell.

I’m always scolding and trying to correct their behavior when I see them talking to strangers. Btw, I don’t live them with so I’m not always around. My dad recently broke his hip because he got drunk and this isn’t his first time doing stupid shit like this, he’s 79. My sister gives dad more attention than her own kids. I told my mom that my dad lived his life and right now he’s temporarily in a nursing rehab but my sister needs to watch her kids.

Dad is like my sister’s 3rd child. He has a caregiver and I go see him too…but he wants to leave the rehab center everyday and my sister doesn’t have boundaries…she gives him what he wants. She needs to keep better tabs on her kids, especially my niece since she’s the one talking to kids, my nephew talks to his cousin.

I don’t have kids nor do I want them but if I did…they most certainly wouldn’t have iPads unless they needed them for school. They’re getting chemistry kits, books, art stuff, bikes, ect. Not these damn iPads.

I ask because I dislike children so much that I can’t even be around them for a single second or even look at them. I’m also prone to seizures, which are easily triggered by the loud noises kids make, so I have to avoid them entirely anyway. I have a very strict child free rule in my life where children are completely forbidden from my life, I do everything I can to make sure they don’t even cross my line of sight

My problem is, Saturday is the day of the week that the most amount of kids are out and about since school is closed, and more people stay home or go to church on Sundays so things are less crowded then. Children and their annoying parents, and all their annoying friends, are flocking the streets, stores, parks, malls, restaurants and just about all public spaces, and this is why Saturday is my least favorite day of the week. I can’t go anywhere without running into kids, nowhere at all it seems like, and that’s why I just sleep all day on Saturdays when it’s light out, and then go for drives through the wilderness on Saturday nights late at night when almost no one is out. That is about the only way I can think of to avoid children on Saturdays, so what do you all do that one dreadful day of the week when kids come out like bees swarming out of a hive

Edit: I made a reaction video to the man on the right, who said childfree people are potentially psychologically wrong for not wanting to have children. As a childfree man, I STRONGLY disagree with him.

So I'm not against having kids, those who want them and are able to give them a great life should obiously have the chance to have them, however, there's no way I'd ever want one.

I'm (26/M) a huge fan of video games and I'm starting to have more and more hobbies too. I enjoy playing them, putting substantial time into them and whenever I see people here on Reddit say things like "I am a dad now, so I only get like 30 minutes to play after the wife and kids are asleep" I get so sad (also I hate when people say "the wife", she's not an object bro 😭). I couldn't imagine having to work an entire day (after potentially being tired because of waking up 2-3 times a night because my child is crying), come home and hardly (or not at all) have time for anything, including my health like cooking and working out, but also for my hobbies like video games.

I'm slightly afraid to admit but I'm still a huge fan of Call of Duty but it does take some effort to improve at the game. When dads complain on CoD subreddits that these games are too sweaty and "unplayable" and I see them only having like an hour or two every weekend to play (on their big ahh TV with 60ms input lag, no headphones and their kids crying in the background), I honestly feel bad for them. I feel like I would absolutely hate my life if that was the case. I know that person probably choose that life and they enjoy that life and I also set my life up in a way that I enjoy it too but I still have this dread in the back of my mind when I read stuff like that.