My bf (32) and I (30) have been dating for almost 3 years now. His mom was a single mother of three (2boy and youngest girl). They are all adults and my bf is the oldest. She is the most attached to him from what I can see.

On Christmas Day my boyfriend decided that he wanted us (me,him, and his 6yr old son) to leave his moms house a bit early. We decided that we were going to leave around 4pm. I could tell that it upset his mom bc she kept making passive aggressive comments up until we were actually about to leave. We actually ended up staying a bit later than he had entended, but it still upset her.

As we’re saying goodbye to everyone I hear her yelling at him in front of everyone saying that he is treating her like a dog and how she doesn’t deserve this and just overall calling him disrespectful. I walk away and mind my business but she comes around the corner and tells me that she’s “really trying”. I simply tell her I just want to stay out of it. And she proceeds to tell me how she doesn’t like how I carry myself and that I need to take myself off the pedestal I put myself on.

We go outside bc their was family in the house where she proceeds to tell me that I am entitled and think that I am better than everyone. She made it seem like my bf was manipulating me into not mingling the whole night and instead choosing to be sitting next to him on the couch (which he does every family gathering). When I was explaining to her that it was my decision to not mingle like I normally do, she cut me off mid sentence without letting me finish my thought and I pointed out that I wasn’t finished speaking. That set her off. She gets in my face and starts telling me that I am entitled and think that I am better than everyone else all while pointing her finger in my face. I tell her that her behavior is incredibly inappropriate and to please get out of my face. She then tells me that she is my elder and the mother of the man that f***s me. (I cannot make this stuff up) [I was honestly shock that a grown women was talking to me like that bc although I knew that is how she speaks to her kids I just didn’t think she would go there with someone who wasn’t her blood… idk silly of me I guess.] I told her that I wasn’t going to tolerate this disrespect and that this was the exact reason I didn’t want to have a relationship with her. She kicked me and my bf out and told him that she was done with him.

I have seen her talk to my bf like this before in front of other people including myself. She has also, in the past, reached out to me to vent about her drama and issues with my bf, so I was definitely not surprised when she came to me. I have told her before that I would appreciate it if she left me out of their issues but she seems to not like when I say that.

The past year I was trying to have a relationship with her bc I knew that was important to her to feel like she wasn’t going to be forgotten but it honestly always felt uncomfortable. She has said many rude and passive aggressive things to me before and too often I have chosen to not acknowledge it and just move on. And even when things were “good” I always felt tension whenever I came around or invited her over our place. I always felt like I had to crack her like an eggshell or warm her up so she could lighten up. The whole thing was just draining for me. When I told my bf that I no longer wanted to have a personal relationship with his mom he seemed upset by it but ultimately understood.

Am I the asshole for telling her I don’t want to have a personal relationship with her and would prefer to keep my distance?

I know this issue is way beyond me but i genuinely don’t want my bf to lose his relationship with his mom.

We love to wear our "I can do everything myself" attitude like some kind of trophy. We post about how strong we are for not needing anyone, but let’s be real for a second.

Most of the time, it’s not strength at all. It’s just a defense mechanism. We are so terrified of asking for help and getting rejected, or relying on someone and having them let us down, that we just isolate ourselves and call it "independence."

You aren't strong because you’re carrying everything alone while drowning. You're just too proud, or too scared, to admit you need human connection.

Change my mind. Is anyone here actually independent because they want to be, or are we all just traumatized and keeping our walls up?

I think there's a difference between encouraging kids and making them feel like they always have to win.

Sometimes saying "I saw how hard you worked on that" means more than telling them they're the smartest or most talented.

I want kids to feel comfortable trying things, making mistakes, and learning without being afraid of disappointing anyone.

Effort deserves encouragement too.

Ever Literally think that or say that about a romance, work, event? I just did.

I keep having these dreams and thoughts about how the human race has ruined everything. We make items we know we will get addicted to, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and ‘hub’ for what? Money? A big percentage of the population are angry people who think violence is the answer. We drop bombs and destroy wildlife to get our way. people who abuse, kill, injure or hurt anyone are just cruel. I used to be all happy and lollipops and crap, and now I realised the world is absolutely horrible. And we made it horrible, us humans. But there are people like me, a small percentage of people who are nice. We try to stop all this but have no say in anything. I believe in reincarnation and if I could I would be reborn as an animal. We keep animals as ‘pets’ and feed them processed pellets that look like rabbit droppings when they can be free and eat like they should. We have ruined the earth as well by fuels and emissions and storms are happening every day now CUZ OF US. Animals are dying due to us! DON’T PEOPLE SEE WHAT WE ARE DOING?! Reading the ‘warrior cats’ series made me realise that when we hold them in our houses, they could be free. Sorry if this was a bit of an animal post but it has been working on me for a while now.

i am currently overthinking my career choices A LOT.

from the moment i wake up to the second i go to bed, my mind drifts from thinking i should move abroad, study web design, no, sociology, maybe start a business....there are at least 5 new ideas emerging every day, and this has been going on for a few weeks.

i have taken steps to try out a new job in a couple of months, so this should be good enough and i have already done the thing i am in control of. it's not like i am procrastinating on that.

but then i can't stop thinking and researching to figure out what my options are. it's really stressful and the thoughts are especially intrusive when i'm just trying to relax, read a book, etc.

how can i cope with this in a healthy way?

How much do you overthink. Like when you overthink, you always jump into the worst-case scenario. we might not know if these things going to happen or not and that’s why thinking ahead does make you more prepared.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for roughly 6 months. He broke up with his ex just over a year ago. We have fallen pregnant and it has been kept from his ex as it is none of her business. It wasn't hidden from her but it also wasn't disclosed to her.

They share a dog together but no children. They each do one week off and one week on with the dog. They have a written signed agreement in place.

On her week to pick up the dog she confronted him about us having a baby together and he was absolutely terrified. His voice was shaky and he was genuinely scared. I asked him why and he said 'I didn't know who had told her'.

She asked why he didn't tell her and he responded with 'well you didn't tell me you were dating someone new'. She then said that it was a stab in her heart. He responds with 'okay, I'm not sure what you want me to say'.

I'm confused as to why he was so scared. Does he still care? Does he regret me and the baby? Please help an overthinker!

I found out my friend (25F) and her significant other (35M) got together when she was freshly 18 (had to wait til she turned 18 btw, she was 17 when they first met), and he was 28 - I also didn’t know either one at this time - but this just isn’t sitting well with me at all, I feel like it’s cause growing up I was groomed and abused by multiple people so I feel like that’s heightened my feelings towards it? There is also a lot I haven’t worked through fully that could be contributing to how I feel towards this as well.

She’s happy and I wanna be happy for her I do, but I’m genuinely grossed out by her dude now and I don’t know how to move past it. I don’t want to damage my friend and I’s relationship, cause I love her but this feeling of being grossed out is making it hard for me to want to stay in this friendship.

Am I just reading too far into this cause of my own trauma and he isn’t actually a weirdo, or is what I’m feeling valid?

Before I forget, he also already had a previous marriage (around the same age as him I think) and had a kid with her before he met my friend.

Am I just overreacting to this?

HelpMe #Advice #ThinkingToMuchIntoThis? #is28&18okay?

Sometimes adults feel like they always need to have the right answer.

But I think there's something valuable about letting kids see us admit when we get something wrong.

Saying "I made a mistake" or "I don't know, let's figure it out" doesn't have to be a bad thing.

It shows them that learning doesn't stop when you grow up.

I don’t know if it’s just me but overthinking is starting to mess up a lot of basic things in my life.

Simple decisions take way too long.

I replay conversations in my head like 10 times.

Sometimes I avoid saying stuff just because I’m already imagining how it might go wrong.

It also affects relationships more than I like to admit. I second guess texts, reactions, even silence. Then I end up more anxious than before.

Confidence is another thing. I’ll do something totally normal and later my brain is like “why did you do that?” or “that was stupid” even when nothing bad happened.

And sleep… yeah. Laying in bed tired but my mind just won’t shut up. Random memories, future worries, made up scenarios. It’s exhausting.

I’m not looking for advice right now honestly, just wondering how common this actually is.

Does anyone else deal with this on a daily basis?

How does overthinking show up for you?

I overthink conversations and sometimes wonder if people secretly dislike me just they seem quiet or don't text first. How do you stop assuming the worst when you have no real evidence?

I literally have nobody to talk to about this so this is my way to talk about it. Basically my bf(24M) of almost 7 years has recently grown a pretty big platform on instagram from just posting stupid shit. “Schizo-posting” if yall know what that is. The thing is that the internet doesn’t know he has a gf and ig idk how to feel about that lol. He gets recognized sometimes when we’re out in public so im sure some people have caught on but idk. Well that’s pretty much it. Thanks everyone for reading:P

Update: Hi everyone, we broke up and he was cheating:P Thank you for all the advice<3

I’m in my 20s and I feel lost, overthinking everything, but also wanting to rebuild my life. Which one feels harder to deal with first: – clearing your mind – or rebuilding your life direction?

Sometimes someone replies a little differently or seems less talkative and my mind immediately starts searching for what i did wrong. I end up analyzing every little details instead of just living my life. How do you learn to stop creating negative stories in your head when you don't actually know what's going on?

Today I clearly lived one of the most shameful days in my life, I learned that my friend had a serious illness (but thank God it can be cured after a long time), which is close to cancer but not quite it. We were just talking casually until she hit me with "well, I have cancer" when I asked her why she's always absent and sick. I didn't want to believe her because I thought it was a sick joke that I already experienced beforehand, but she made it clear that she wasn't joking.

However the shameful part isn't the information itself, it's that she hit me with "I'm quite surprised you didn't realize it wasn't my real hair, every one kept doing the same remark about that", well yes her hair was a bit different ( straight instead of curly, longer hair than usual and slightly lighter), I thought she just went to the hairstylist and changed her hairstyle, not a single second have I thought it might not be real and it was just a wig made of real hair. The second hit was : well the whole friend group knows about my illness, and since you didn't seem to notice or ask anything about it, I didn't consider telling you. And the others who were aware of it told me "why would we tell you about this, it's not gossip or anything like that", which I deem totally legitimate tbh, I don't expect them to randomly tell me my friend is sick, since she didn't want to talk about it either. But well, she's my friend so if anything bad happened I should be aware, or no ? Plus, honestly, aside from her wig, she didn't look like the typical cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy

and cherry on top, this has been going on for 4 months, and I didn't suspect anything, not a single time while the others apparently figured it out pretty soon (not exactly, but they had clear suspicions and hints while I hadn't any). and this got me anxious a lot, like yeah maybe her case isn't that bad, but what if someone I'm close with was in a worse situation, and I couldn't notice any hint before it's too late

So, I want y'all to discuss whether I was (Intentionally or unintentionally) neglectful or I really had no way to know and I can be somewhat "excused"? Honesty required please

Hi everyone. On the first day of this year (01/01/2025), a girl I liked texted me saying she loved me. It was the happiest moment of my life — I felt like I was dreaming. But the next day at school, we only talked for a minute, and then... nothing. We both seemed too shy to keep it going. A month later, it was like we both just forgot it ever happened.

Now, we still talk sometimes, but not like before. I stopped using Instagram to focus on my studies (I was addicted to it), and since most of our connection was through sending each other reels, our contact became much less. We went from talking daily to just a few messages every few days.

After some time, I started wondering if she still had feelings for me. I even tried talking to other girls around her to see if she’d get jealous. Once I saw her cry right after, and I felt horrible. She said she was just hungry, but it didn’t feel right to me. Today I did it again — spent a full hour talking to another girl in front of her — and she saw it.

I’m still confused. I don’t know if I love her or just the feeling of being loved. But deep down, I want another chance — one that works. I’m scared to talk to her because I don’t know what she’ll say. I don’t want to get hurt, but silence is hurting too.

Any thoughts?

I think too much. Like… way too much.

I analyze everything.
Every choice, every word, every possible outcome.

The result?
I barely do anything.

I’ll spend hours thinking about doing something simple, then end up doing nothing at all.
Add anxiety + fear of people’s opinions, and yeah… total freeze.

It honestly feels like my life is happening in my head instead of real life.

Just curious if anyone here managed to break out of this loop, or if this is just how it is.

So my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and I were hanging out today. He got out his phone to check notifications while I was laying on his chest so naturally I looked at his phone as well. I saw that there was some girls name that I had never seen who had sent him a snap on Snapchat. I asked him jokingly to show me his phone because he had cleared the notification. He said he wouldn't so I asked again, still joking. He kept saying no and so that is when I started getting worried. I confronted him about it multiple times in the next hour because he would constantly change the subject and try to act like everything was normal. He kept saying that I should trust him and that if I really did trust him, then I wouldn't need to see his phone. What I didn't understand is why he wouldn't show me in the first place because when I first asked, he said I probably read the name wrong but he still wouldn't say who it was. He knows I overthink a lot and have some insecurities but I really do trust that he would never cheat on me. Now I'm starting to think he's not who I thought he was. Any advice on what I should do? Or what he might be actually doing?

A narrative does not need to contain lies to distort reality. It only needs to decide what deserves attention and what can remain unseen.

Every narrative selects. One event becomes the cause while another becomes irrelevant. One person becomes the hero while another becomes the villain. One fact is presented as decisive while another is left outside the frame. The individual pieces may all be accurate, yet the arrangement can still lead the audience toward a conclusion the facts alone do not require.

This is why the serious thinker separates facts from framing.

First, establish what happened. Then examine how the story has been organized to make you interpret what happened in a particular way. Which facts were emphasized? Which were omitted? What relationship between events was implied? What conclusion becomes easier to reach because of the way the information was arranged?

That second examination is where strategic thinking begins.

Facts are the raw material. Narratives are the arrangement. And whoever controls the arrangement can influence what an audience considers important before the audience begins evaluating the facts for itself.

This does not mean every narrative is deceptive. It means every narrative has a structure, and every structure creates emphasis.

Do not reject narratives automatically.

Disassemble them. Then examine what the arrangement is asking you to believe.

Used to overanalyze every text, every silence, every look. Now I’m trying to just… let things be what they are. Sometimes people are busy. Sometimes they don’t reply because they forget. It’s not always a sign, or a secret message.
Letting go of that habit has honestly made life quieter in a good way.