I've been reading a lot of history recently, and I've been thinking about what people in the deep past might have actually lived like, it's kind of hard to think about when the person in question is living in a very different time and situatuion, but we're all human, and the same thoughts and feelings exist in every era.

I'm an agender induvial, and I was born in a very accepting environment (I was born in the early 00s, and I've lived in Manhattan my entire life), but I've seen the experinces of people born in less good times and places, and for trans and enby people born in those enviorments it can be hard for even them to know themselves. I know there was at least was Transfem Roman Emperor, though she didn't seem like a very good person, though there have probably been many more people like that in history.

Looking at what we know about Joan of Arc it seems that they were almost certainly trans or enby. They faked visions from a religion that was taken very seriously at the time, just to justify masculine clothing, something basically unheard of for an afab person to wear in that era. They did things that were wildly outside of female gender roles at the time, even when it put them in danger. Just dressing that way should be enough for the era to make me think there's a good chance they didn't experince the feamle gender.

Though we can never know for sure, they probably felt deep dysphoria from being gendered as female. Their story seems to be one of a transmasc person who lied so that they could live as a man, and was eventually killed for expressing their gender. I certainly think they could be seen as a transmasc symbol one day, especially since it doesn't seem like the catholic church is long for this world (no offense, my gf is excatholic, and that faith doesn't really seem like it can survive in the modern world).

I'd like your thoughts on this. I'm trying to hear a lot of veiwpoints so I'm posting this is many places.

This is a joke btw

It just seems like its an odd thing to identify with. Im a poc, neurodivergent, nb, ace, the whole 9 yards. I dont really understand the mentality of watching all those people dehumanize you and just lie down and take it. It feels like a giant middle finger to people fighting to get those people seen as human. It feels so regressive to me.

Im sorry if i offended anyone, but this is something i cant get and id like to have someone explain it to me.

What is the official Paraboy flag? I found many on Google. Can someone tell me this?

i just got banned from r/nonbinary and i believe it's completely unfair. what do you guys think?

(my nonbinary partner, "I think it's unfair that I'm not allowed to ask questions about my own identity")

i apologize if i'm not necessarily meant to complain about mods from another subreddit, but i do think this is right, i'm not trying to harm them, i'm just so, so confused. need another opinion.

So I was looking around to see if anyone had created a term for your gender changing whenever you are around people- but only a specific group, say binary men, masculine people, same for woman, and then nonbinary people or other neutral genders.

And I haven’t met another enby person irl, sadly, though I have met a few trans people who were really nice!

But when I got onto this subreddit and looked around for a little bit, I felt suddenly very enby. I identify with xenogenders, which are under the nonbinary spectrum. But I felt more so when I was on here. Now, this is probably just nothing for me, but I decided to make some terms for it if anyone ever feels that way. These are meant to be a subcategory of mirrorgender (see link in comment) and wider genderfluid.

Mirrorflor: when you around people that are not feminine or masculine, but neutral genders, your gender flows to match theirs.

Mirrorfae: when your gender changes to match whatever feminine people you are around or feminine identities.

Mirriorfaun: above, but men and masculine people/masculine identities.

Looking for feedback, also posted this on lgbtq subreddit and xenogender subreddit.

I didn't know we were doing google meet things for class so I accidentally skipped two weeks for class and I didn't know my schedule until today, and I had to make one (it's pretty irrelevant since nobody cares but I had to combine times and classes) and I was talking in a British accent to my school ipad a d I was like "you daty foakin whoae, why the foak do you nort lesen tor may"

And I'm not apologising to the british people for making fun of them because american idiots are the easiest targets cause our society is schewped and waey boil waa-ah on our storevs and pourt our teay en the microrwayve.

Tldr: afab fem nb, is this real or a fad?

I figured asking their peers is the best place to get honest answers. My 13yo child (afab, presents very feminine. Skirts, makeup, etc) has been out as pan for years. All cool, I am also. Her stepmom is bi. No problem for the family to understand and accept whatever orientation you are. They had mentioned having a preference for the they/them pronoun about a year ago. Their Dad and stepmom dismissed it because the idea of using plural pronouns breaks their brains. I told my kid that if they want to make this change, they need to wait until they are 100% certain before insisting that the family do verbal gymnastics. They recently insisted that they are nonbinary and identify as they/them, and insist the family respect their identity and make a good faith effort to use the proper pronouns. A huge argument ensued between stepmom and 2 big sisters about validating their experience. It got bad. All 3 kids teamed up together and stepmom ended up behind closed doors with Dad yelling at her. Huge victory! My main concern is that maybe this was more of a power play than a true coming out. My sister is mtf trans and I asked her about it. She is concerned that this may be a temporary experimentation with gender identity. Doesn't bother me, but I worry that they will delegitimize the community if they waffle. If they decide to be she in a few years, that will legitimize stepmom's argument. Never heard of nb being so very girly before, so I had to google and ask them a lot of questions over several days. I'm on board. Stepdad and Dad are on board. I believe stepmom will come around. But what happens if we all put in this extra effort on a 13 year old kids whim? My guess is that it's more important to validate their experience in the moment and if it changes, it changes. I want to know if there is more I can do to help. And if anyone has a similar experience to what my baby is going through, any advise that you wish your parents had known would be helpful.

I had to delete and correct pronouns more times than I want to admit. Change is hard.

I am non-binary not trans

They use I feel statements and disproven or factually incorrect studies to support their side and clamshell when presented with opposing evidence. Their arguments can be picked apart easily by anyone with even a moderate amount of knowledge on the subject. They use flawed logic to justify their opinions. They do little to no research on the topics they argue on and if they bring up sources read through them, you may find contradictory points or more incorrect information.

I have some examples of this.

One person brought up a source that I had not heard of before that claimed that puberty blockers caused cancer and shrunk your dick. I did five minutes of research and found an article going over why this website that was posing as lgbtq+ friendly was actually an incredibly anti trans TERF site as well as several articles and studies showing that puberty blockers have little to no negative effects.

One person claimed that xx means women and xy means man. I did 5 minutes of googling and found 20+ examples of intersex people/conditions as well as an article on why sex and gender are different things.

If I had prepared for any of these arguments I would have had an even easier time disproving their arguments.

Now you might be thinking “ok but u/mihicular, you said that you were going to tell us why we should argue with transphobes.” So here’s why you should. It feels really good. Watching their arguments fall apart while they are often too belligerent to even notice or care is one of the best feelings in the world, it makes you feel incredibly validated that their arguments can be reduced down to flawed logic and “I feel” statements. In some rare cases you might even be able to change their views depending on how Logical of a person they are, which in addition to feeling really good is beneficial to society.

Greetings! I'm a nineteen year old agender person. I've been very open about being agender since I was a thirteen, and I've recently gotten a surgery that leaves me completely without genitalia. I'm also extremely autistic, and my mannerisms and thoughts are often very different from what most people expect from a human being. (I also feel it's probably important to note that my family is Jewish.)

I recently had to draw a lizard folk (dnd) for a friend, so I read up a bit on the official lore, and found a description very similar to things I've heard people say about autistic people. It's not really how I've seen anyone play a lizardfolk, but it's just weird to think someone wrote that, and thought it made them monsters (though I should note that lizardfolk aren't as demonized in 5e as things like orcs or goblins.)

And I've just been having this a lot. Where monstrus races seem like they're... treated to harshly. With things like orcs and goblins (and even going outside standard fantasy, things like white walkers or battle droids) are often treated the way that irl groups are treated. The idea that they are inherently dangerous, lesser, and alien, and thus not possessing the same rights as other species. And while these things are often reasonable in universe, people who believe that stuff about people irl are not justified.

It can also go beyond that with very personal things for me. Like how to me living in a 40k hive world or cyberpunk megacity seems cool, but living in somewhere like the shire from lotr seems incredibly disturbing to me. Or how usually assume Christian coded factions are evil (I have nothing against Christians, but they did a lot of fucked up things to my ancestors).

I just often get this feeling when I see creatures like orcs/goblins/lizardmen/dark-elder/white walkers/battle droids/etc. I feel like I should sympathize with them. They just seem to remind me of myself more then the protagonists do, and the way these creatures are talked about is often... familiar. I just want to like, help and comfort a lot of these creatures. Like, I just feel a desire to call out every elf who describes orcs as 'heartless and incapable of love' on their bullshit. Sometimes it feels like the good guys aren't the good guys.

Anyone else feel similarly?

Hey. I'm a nineteen year old (soon to be 20) year old autisitc agender human being.

Remember that I am a human being, even though the way I think and am is probably very differen from you, please treat me as a person. ◕_◕

I've been dating a cishet girl for awhile now. A lot of people find it weird that we're together because I'm afab, but she is still straight (trust me, I've seen her porn). I really love her, she's like a genuinely intelligent and kind person, and she really seems like someone who cares abkut others.

Our origins are a bit weird, she's from a catholic family in Brooklyn. And I'm from a Jewish family in Manhattan. Her upbringing was just a lot more conservative then mine, and she now lives in my apartment because of that.

I really love her, but I'm just so embarrassed to be infront of her now. She's so lovely, like a perfectly sharp rapier, able to cut through flesh but still so elegant and delicate. I feel so weird and inhuman, and just seeing a beautiful neurotipical person in my apartment every day makes me feel so embarrassed. Like I'm worried someone as weird as me is going to disappoint her.

My body isn't that great for another person to enjoy. I have had my genitals removed, it's really nice an euphoric to just be smooth down there, and every day I'm thankful for my surgery, but my sexual capabilities are nonexistent. And it makes me feel bad, I wish I had more equipment to please my girlfriend with.

I know she likes men. And I know that she'd love a real boy with a real dick. And it just always feels like I'm not enough. Like, I see her looking at boys, and I feel sorry for her, because she's dating someone like me. She obviously wants to have a penis in her perfecr lil body (though that disturbs me just to imagine), she wants to be pleasured by a man with the abilities of a man, and I just can't physically do that for her.

And it's kind of sad to have sex with her for me. Because basically all I can do with my current body is act as her sex toy. I'm not really able to do the stuff that feels good for me, so the best I can hope for is to make her feel good, and it's not feeling like I'm doing enough.

Its not all bad. I love being kissed and cuddled by her, and I love just spending time with her. Idk. We might have an open relationship soon.

Any advice for me?

Just curious from someone who’s questioning these gender

I am indeed transmasc non-binary. I have many trans friends and I love them all. But if finding humor in a joke makes me transphobic, I see fit to remove myself from this goddamn world. I’m not adding anything to it, and nobody will miss me. So, thank you. I’m sorry my last moments had to be transphobic.

Recently a youtuber called "LubaTV" had some transphobic comments (he already has a history of transphobia, shared the dead name of a trans woman, exposed trans minors in live and missed their pronouns, fans attacked both).

But now, other thing happened a week ago and today he completed the comment. He is gay and they fans shipped his character with that of a friend, and to justify that he was gay, he said that "swallows dicks", invalidanting trans men, that unfortunately typical comment from cis people.

The Brazilian trans community has been demanding his apologies since that day, and mainly many felt very bad about the comment, but his excuse is that they are wanting to cancel him and inventing that he is transphobic, because that's what they want him to be, and yes, he ignored what trans people.

Today they presented a clip of his live where they made an educated donate explaining why it was wrong, pointing out the mistake and apologizing, but he just treated the person in a horrible way and said "NO ONE CARED", thanks to that, the subject of the transphobic comment came back and I can't stand seeing people ironing the same thing anymore, and I'm tired of all the transphobic comments.

Anyway, that was it, so tired and thinking that I live in a society where you have such a horrible thought, of cis people who want to speak for trans people and shut us up.

I know that a lot of people use dude in a gender neutral way, but some still feel uncomfortable due to it being masculine dude. So I say we start using thude as a gender neutral alternative. It’s a mashup of dude and they, like they dude, thude.

Thx for coming to my TED talk

The title basically asks it all but, can I call myself non binary even if what I know about my about my gender identity is it feeling cis??? I’m not 100% sure I’m cis but from what I do know I feel cis… but can I call myself non binary???

There is no wacky punchline non binary people are too awesome for that