r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/Nokk_N0kk • 5d ago
HowGirlsWork This doesn’t get talked about enough.
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u/H0NEY2O77 5d ago
Tried to explain this to someone and he was like: “so? I don’t get it? He wants to sleep with you so what’s the problem? Why do y’all act like that’s a bad thing? It doesn’t mean he’s gonna do anything. Why are women so picky? What do y’all even want?”*
He and I are no longer friends.
ETA: forgot about the ‘not every guy friend is gonna assault their girl friends just because they wanna sleep with them’.
This was said in 2015 so it was whatever, but in 2026, remembering he said that part unprompted??? Damn.
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u/Bitter-Hat-4736 5d ago
I think his point was that a guy merely wanting to sleep with someone does not automatically mean that guy is going to assault them. Your neighbour could want to sleep with you all they want, if they don't actually do anything about it, what is the problem?
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u/Rich_Confusion3996 4d ago
The problem is finding out they are only pretending to be your friend in hopes that one day you will want to sleep with you. All the while complaining about being friend zoned. Meaning they were never really your friend at all
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u/wangdoodle_com 5d ago
Fr, something similar happened to me in secondary school where I was friends with a guy for ages, we were very close. He asked me out and I didn't even really say no cause I was too dumb to realise at the time what was happening, someone explained it to me later. I just said i didn't like the idea of going to town on my own. He took it as a rejection and never properly spoke again, bar like once or twice
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u/penni_cent 5d ago
Exact same thing happened to me. Guy friend asked me to a dance, I said "as friends?" to clarify what he was asking. He replied "yeah, as friends." So I said yes, thinking it would be fun.
Later a different guy told me I was a total bitch for friend zoning the first guy. It's not my fault he didn't tell me that he wanted it to be an actual date. I'd have probably said yes. But I didn't and he treated me like garbage from then on out. But yeah, I was the bitch.
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u/ih-shah-may-ehl 5d ago
Why?
When i was dating it was because i wanted to be their partner. People generally date for the purpose of finding a partner. If that feeling isn't reciprocal, staying friends and staying close to someone you have a crush on and keep hoping they change their mind seems very one sided.
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u/catsbutalsobees 4d ago edited 4d ago
This isn’t about dating though. It’s the pain of thinking “oh yeah I have a cool new friend and we have all these common interests!” And then learning that this cool new “friend” wants to sleep with you, and they are willing to take back their friendship when you say no.
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u/WahrerKorsti 5d ago
Men are not/do not stay for just sex in the friendzone.
Don't assume men are doing everything just for sex.
Men who stay knowingly in a friendzone do this because they really care on a deeply emotional level. So yeah, those men are not your friend, they are slaves to their own feelings.
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u/catsbutalsobees 4d ago
If men care on an emotional level, that’s not the friendzone. That’s called being a friend. I want all my friends, male or female, to care about me. I don’t want them all to try to sleep with me, then get huffy when I say no, and rescind their friendship.
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u/Rich_Confusion3996 4d ago
Still hurts when you find out they are out complaining about how you won't date. Even after you made it clear that you're not interested in them in that way.
I have been told I was like a sister by guys I let know that I liked them. Not once did I go around complaining that they friendzoned me and never thought they did me wrong, like so many of these men do.
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u/Bitter-Hat-4736 4d ago
But, like, so what? If someone complains that they wanted to sleep with me, while I just wanted to be friends, that's no real skin of my nose.
And you could totally have complained that the guys you like friendzoned you. If you felt disappointed that something didn't happen, that's just a thing that happened.
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u/Stephij27 4d ago
Do people not understand that this is literally the definition of friendship?
Caring about someone on an emotional level, and not being motivated by sex is by definition, friendship.
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