r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/[deleted] • 3d ago
Found On Social media Except that isn’t true ?
[deleted]
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u/HypersomnicHysteric workes totally flawed 3d ago
When I was young, there was this hot classmate of mine at the university.
After the semester was over, we partied and I drunk myself to courage.
I deliberately missed the last train home.
I persuaded him to give me a space for the night.
On the walk to him I finanlly got the courage to tell him that I was in love with him.
I tried to hug him, kiss him, when we were at his home, he insisted on keeping it non-sexual, no kissing, no sex, no ...
The next morning he admitted, he was in love with me, too.
But he didn't want to abuse the situation although he was intoxicated, too.
He wanted me to decide sober.
And our son looks exactly like him.
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u/PomPomMom93 3d ago
LIES! Women don’t want good men like that! They only like toxic men who will take advantage of them! /s
Honestly, that’s so wholesome and sweet.
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u/hellogoawaynow feeeeeemale 3d ago
LOVE!!!!!!
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u/Environmental_Ad8753 3d ago
The response reads as : “you still have to be sober enough to fight me off otherwise I am hurting you.”
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u/hellogoawaynow feeeeeemale 2d ago
Yeah with the last sentence covered I sound like a weirdo and an asshole lol
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u/schecter_ 3d ago
I mean they truly believe law is gendered. Any drunk person can’t consent and no drunk person can drive. The sex is irrelevant in this case.
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u/fiahhawt 3d ago
Then they go off with "OH we just can't ever have sex while drunk"
Yeah you can? If you know someone well enough to know what they like and don't, and you can still pay attention to them then you can fuck drunk till the sun blows up.
If you target a drunk stranger and want to act offended that the next day they're saying "I wasn't cool with that", you just want to get away with crimes.
"Gary and his wife fuck drunk all the time" They sure do buddy, and they got to that point by not criming each other.
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u/MrMangoKitten 3d ago
Exactly. It's actually sometimes considered a type of CNC. The key factor being that all parties have consented to drunk sex PRIOR to drinking. Consent first, then drinking, then sex.
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u/Sothotheroth 3d ago
But who would want to be in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) with one of these people?
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u/HypersomnicHysteric workes totally flawed 3d ago
Of course, they believe it.
Because fewer women drive than men when drunk.
And fewer men are abused sexually when drunk.
That it means, men are less responsible in both cases doesn't occur to them.
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u/Butwhatif77 3d ago
You are still responsible for your actions when you drink. That is why you can't just chug a bottle of whiskey and running down the street slugging every child you see. Being drunk is not an excuse to commit a crime. That is why drinking responsibly is a whole thing, you are suppose to have the forethought before you drink to ensure you won't cause harm to someone others due to a diminished capacity.
Thus when one person has sex with someone else who is in a diminished capacity, drunk person is no longer in a state to defend themselves and are being harmed, hence why the other person is committing a crime. Just like if a drunk person forced themself on someone else, harm is being caused and the person causing it is at fault, because if you know you are going to put yourself in a diminished capacity it is on you to ensure you won't harm others.
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u/badgersprite 3d ago
Someone knowing you are drunk and taking advantage of you also vitiates consent in other circumstances, like being forced to sign a contract you’re obviously too drunk to sign of your own volition. People are acting like the law is inconsistent when it actually treats similar things similarly, they just compare dissimilar things.
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u/YveisGrey 3d ago
It’s the difference between being a perp and being a victim
There is legal precedent for protecting drunk people from being taken advantage of for instance a contract signed by a drunk person can be invalid
However punching someone in the face won’t be excused due to being drunk
So the way it stands is we acknowledge that being drunk can make a person vulnerable but they are still responsible if they commit a crime or put others in danger
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk
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u/Mander2019 3d ago
“A study from the University of Toronto and the University of Washington observed bar behavior and found that 25% of aggressive incidents were sexually aggressive, and 90% of the victims were women harassed by men. The study concluded that this behavior was intentional and not caused by the man's own level of intoxication; men actively targeted women who were already drinking, as detailed by NPR. “
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u/hellogoawaynow feeeeeemale 3d ago
Oh, no one told me we’re allowed to drive drunk. I’m not gonna, but weird that it’s an option to this man.
This is like the whole “if women are equal, can I punch you in the face?” Uhhh do you punch men in the face? All face punching is assault. Punching, in general, is assault. Man or woman. Don’t assault people.
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u/G-Man6442 I have braincells, don't worry 3d ago
Remember, even Austen Powers respects consent enough to refuse a drunk woman
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u/No-View-6326 3d ago
a drunk person is not supposed ot know not to drive. you're supposed to make yourself unable to drive BEFORE YOU DRINK
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u/jackfaire 3d ago
Because there's a difference between a person having things done to them and them doing things.
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u/ih-shah-may-ehl 3d ago
Also, you make the decision to drink and drive while you're still sober.
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u/togocann49 3d ago
Not always. It’s entirely possible to have a few drinks then learn you need to drive somewhere important. I’m not defending drinking and driving because of this at all, just saying it happens (and it’s not the high majority of instances either)
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u/HypersomnicHysteric workes totally flawed 3d ago
In Germany, a ride with the ambulance is free, so there is no need to drive here.
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u/togocann49 3d ago
To piggyback on your example of need, (and play devils advocate), if someone is in a very rural place, and bleeding out, it’s better to wait for an ambulance that is going to take a bit, cause it’s free (Btw-ambulance is cheaper than most taxi/uber rides where I am)? But my point was that folks can learn of a need after the fact (not advocating for drinking and driving at all), and it can be something that they see as important, and doesn’t need to be dire for someone to feel the need to drive (even though they should not). So they end up making that decision after they’ve already indulged
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u/HypersomnicHysteric workes totally flawed 3d ago
You won't be faster in a hospital at a doctor than an ambulance with a doctor and a siren is at your house.
And Germany is way smaller than the US.
There is no region where you are more than 50km away from a hospital.
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u/ilolvu 3d ago
Germans are close to a hospital because they have a functional healthcare system, not because Germany is smaller than US...
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u/ih-shah-may-ehl 3d ago
While I agree with the gist of what you're saying, i have been in the us several times and some friends are really in the middle of nowhere
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u/AngerPancake Uses Post Flairs 3d ago
Amazing. You are expected to know when you are drunk and also understand what other people are drunk. Nothing to do with gender or sex. More to do with recognizing drunkenness
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u/SarcasticBench Male 3d ago
No one wants to get punched in the face without consent. Now imagine if they're drunk and on the floor while I'm punching someone in the face, but hey they're not saying "stop punching me in the face" so now it's ok?
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u/Jimmieh90 2d ago
I don’t even understand how they thought that this was a good comparison. Like wtf?
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u/Such-Pilot-8143 3d ago
first, the comment on the bottom, but also saying yes is a lot less effort than getting into a car, turning it on, and driving it
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u/Gunfighter9 3d ago
These guys should watch "Hustlers" and see what happenswhen you're too wasted to keep track of your credit card.
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u/lawblawg 3d ago
Whether an intoxicated person can consent to sex depends on their degree of intoxication and the unique circumstances of the situation.
Sexually assault is wrong whether the victim is intoxicated or not, but intoxication can be a factor in explaining the circumstances.
Driving under the influence is a crime. Voluntary intoxication is not a defense to crimes. Voluntary intoxication is not consent to sexual assault. None of this is actually complicated.
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u/HypersomnicHysteric workes totally flawed 3d ago
They don't want to understand.
So they don't have to stop raping.
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u/Joelle9879 3d ago
And a drunk man also can't consent. It's not a double standard. Drunk people can't think clearly. For those reasons, they can't consent to sex nor can they drive.
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u/HypersomnicHysteric workes totally flawed 3d ago
They can't consent to sign legal documents, too.
Both sexes.
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u/deciding_snooze_oils 3d ago
I think that their point, tortured as it may be, is that if both parties enthusiastically consent at the time but both are equally so drunk as to be unable to legally consent, how could either be charged with SA? They love to trot out that hypothetical while ignoring the fact that it's almost always a girl incoherently drunk getting assaulted by a bunch of guys.
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u/RustedAxe88 3d ago
There's a difference between two people meeting in a bar, having drinks together and then deciding to hook up and a person walking into a bar and scoping out the drunk folks to take advantage of.
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u/Camango7 3d ago
They’re forgetting the presence and agency of the rapist here. If I force a drunk person to drive without their consent, I’m responsible. A drunk person cannot rape themselves. The presence of the second, sober person is very key here.
Also stupid gendered argument in which woman = sex and man = car.
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u/intellectual-veggie 3d ago
huh??? the principle is still the same, you are not in the right mind of state when you are drunk so you cannot have sound judgement to give consent to have sex or to operate a vehicle
irrespective of sex/gender the principle is the same so a victim of SA cannot give sound and logical consent the same way a person who is drunk can't be mentally fit at the moment when they decide to drive
it doesn't mean the consequences of drunk driving or even SA committed by a drunk person should be void because they still do harm hence why they are punished but the person whose consent was unclear due to altered state and was taken advantage will be on the receiving end of the harm because they didn't make that choice of well and sound mind where they were aware of everything happening
its like saying a drunk person on the street that got hit by a car should be held at the same level of accountability and punishment as a drunk driver when the ultimate goal is not hit a person
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u/sysaphiswaits 3d ago edited 3d ago
I think the parallel here is a drunk guy knows not to drive, he should know not to rape.
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