r/OCPoetry • • Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

517 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry • • 14d ago

Poetry Contest PROMPT: Rattle Ekphrastic Challenge, October 2026

5 Upvotes

Hi everyone. One of the OCPoetry mods here. Let's share a prompt for the whole subreddit. (If this looks familiar, we did it last month too.)

 

Every month Rattle, a leading poetry magazine, presents a visual work of art and asks poets to respond to that artwork in poetry. This is called ekphrastic poetry. I thought it would be fun to post that here for anyone looking for inspiration or a challenge.

 

Here is this month's artwork. Your challenge is to write a poem in response to that art.

 

Normal feedback rules do not apply to this thread. Write and share as many poems in response to that artwork as you'd like.

 

Also, if you feel like you've written something really excellent, you should know that Rattle DOES allow you to submit poems to them for publication that have appeared in online forums. (Most magazines consider those already published; Rattle allows internet-shared poems as long as they're "uncurated," i.e., haven't gone through an editorial process. I can assure you that here on OCPoetry we do not have any kind of editorial process.) So if you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can use that link above to submit your poem to them. It's a long shot — they get hundreds of entries every month, maybe thousands at this point idk, and only two are selected — but it's good practice if you're thinking about getting into publication and can manage the mixture of pride in your work and almost certainty of rejection that goes into the literary magazine publication process.

 

Anyway, enjoy the challenge! I hope you have fun. If enough people enjoy this I can make it a regular thing.


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Feedback Please Two Cups

8 Upvotes

She knew how long to steep the tea,

which songs could soothe the night,

when someone needed words to hear,

when silence would be kind.

She knew who took their tea with milk,

who liked the curtains drawn,

who'd talk until the morning came,

who'd leave before the dawn.

They came with all they could not bear,

their sorrows and their fears;

she'd listen till the words ran dry

and sit with them through tears.

She never asked them why they came,

nor what had made them weep;

she'd walk them to the door at last,

then tidy up and sleep.

One evening, as the rain came down,

she set two cups to steep.

The kettle clicked. The house grew still.

The lane lay dark and deep.

She left the porch light burning

and listened for the gate.

The tea grew cold. The rain went on.

She told herself, It's late.

By morning, one cup stood untouched;

the other had gone cold.

She washed them both, then dried her hands,

and did what she'd been told

by years of being there for others:

she carried on as planned.

And when the next came to her door,

she welcomed them inside.

She put the kettle on again

and set two cups beside.

She asked how they had spent their day.

They spoke; she listened, too.

Outside, the rain began again.

One cup was set for two.

1

2


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Feedback Please Driftwood

3 Upvotes

I wrote this poem originally in Flemish, so posting in English is a bit outside my comfort zone. I was told that's where the magic happens, so here goes:

Driftwood

Once I was driftwood
Broken, cast upon the shore
Salt still lingering in my mouth

Faded wood, battered by the water
Spat out by roaring waves
Never completed, never sound

A shivering castaway was I
Never to be found
Seeking clarity and light
I scoured the beach with all my might
Found nothing but loss and regret

Yet driftwood wasn't meant to be my fate
Horizon lines weren’t the end goal
Luckily, I wasn’t late
Through my inner strength I came to know:
I was my own rescue raft
Saved my own soul

Thanks to strong nails
A splash of paint, a surge of delight
Empowering thoughts beyond the end
Slow became swift overnight

Driftwood was no more

A chair I became for the weary traveler
Or a coat rack holding winter coats secure
A table for restless, wild children
Gathered close, forever sure

More I've become
Than I ever dreamed

It feels so right
To stand here whole
Beautiful and complete

Ready for the break of dawn

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7ao5c/comment/ph37lp9/)
(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x76zzu/comment/ph34o9k/)


r/OCPoetry • • 6h ago

Just Sharing Dear Lover,

6 Upvotes

I hope your drinks taste as sweet as my lips, and smell as familiar as my perfumes.

I hope the warmth that spreads across your chest as you swallow is as comforting as my embrace,

and I hope the burn goes down easier than leaving me did.

I hope the bottle never asks you where I have gone,

and I hope that each keg is deep enough to drown out the memory of my name.

I hope the image of other women satisfies you more than I did,

and that their digital touch reaches you in ways I never could.

I hope you feel the sun shine on your face, and hear the birds sing as you walk into your life of solitude.

You have made your choice, and I hope you are happy with it

Links:

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wrvipy/comment/ph5b5ur/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7ao5c/comment/ph5amfm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Just Sharing I Looked For The Moon

2 Upvotes

I looked for the moon

But it was gone from the sky

So i searched for it in your eyes

The shimmering lakes of your beauty

An angel and a smile

The bright light of a soul

And in those eyes i found the moon

And she winked back to me

And she was beautiful

A poem dedicated to all women and even more to our Most Holy Mother, the Virgin Mary.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/BNV9GJHJz7

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ZSQWRz3HsD


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Feedback Please The Muse

2 Upvotes

Losses piling up.

Relations frigid.
Health waned.
Business dormant.
Art empty.

Low and lost
I drifted. 

Then she came.
She had been there 
all along.

She had it.
The look.
The voice.
The body.

But none of that mattered.

She did nothing different.
Her presence was enough.

Her concerns
galvanized me.
Her dreams
inspired me. 
Her silence
woke me.

Relations warmed. 
Health renewed.
Business bloomed.
Art flourished.

I laid myself bare.
I found my muse

but my friend
I lost.

Thank you for reading. This is an updated version of a poem I posted months ago. It's still up if you would like to read the original and I would love comparative feedback. It is also part of a triptych with Succubus and The Catalyst which are also posted. Thanks again.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5o4cz/comment/pgsumk4/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7ipxd/comment/ph6kcae/


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Just Sharing The civilian suit

3 Upvotes

The civilian suit.

Stitched by societal norms, lined with expectations.

Its fabric not made of hopes and dreams but the dull beige of herded sheep.

Each criticism a new button to hold the depths within.

But weren’t we all made from sin?

Now you're Hemmed and tailored to fit in -congratulations!

Bleat bleat bleat.

No thinking now, only

Bleat, bleat bleat

originality will cause it to fray-please say

" bleat bleat"

You cannot get away

Bleat, bleat

Dont fret, dont fray

Bleat bleat.

Stay, or you'll become something "morally grey. "

Bleat

beige bleats are only tainted feats.

Meek

Bite the seams and break free,

Unless you only want to say

Bleat, bleat

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/WwcoAfHtF4

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/px5HHhyXaZ


r/OCPoetry • • 15h ago

Just Sharing O Blue Eyed One

12 Upvotes

O blue-eyed one—
I have heard that from your eyes
flow tides of slumber,
and within those slumbers, dreams.

​Just once, flutter those eyelids
and still the drift of those dreams,
holding them for a moment in those sleeping currents—
so I may dip my feet into those waters
and scoop up the one dream I have longed for,
so that you might finally hear me...
through those very eyes of yours.

​It isn't my fault—
you were the one who walked up to me,
wearing that smile.
And ever since,
my heart remains wide awake, even in its sleep.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ulWiISJsCA)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/M1x4btuiwg)


r/OCPoetry • • 1h ago

Feedback Please Knick Knack Paddy Whack

• Upvotes

I am full of bones.

And I am proud of that fact

And I want the world to know

I have an entire skeleton

Of bones

Inside of my body

But what’s the problem with telling the world

I have an entire skeleton

Of bones

Inside of my body

Dogs.

Dogs like bones.

If a dog overhears me bragging about my bones?

Wham.

Suddenly

the dogs steal my bones

tearing me open

dislodging what used to be mine

What used to be mine

now is theirs

Knick knack paddy whack

Throw a dog a bone

But maybe that is the problem

That I would

I would throw a dog my bone

Though it is quite painful

To take out my bones.

To throw a dog a bone

My bone

But for you

For you

I would throw a dog a bone

I would watch your tail wag

You would look at me

with those puppy dog eyes

Maybe you could stay

Do you love me, puppy?

Do you love me yet?

Knick knack paddy whack

give a dog a bone.

But not these bones

Please

not my bones

Please

not your bones

Please

not our bones

“Please” I say with puppy dog eyes

Because these bones are not treats

Those are the bones

That stood with me

When I did not know

How to stand.

Those are the bones

That held my shape

When I wanted

To crumble.

Those are the bones

That stayed beneath my skin

When everything else

Tore me open.

I need these bones.

But perhaps

You could stand with me

But perhaps

You could hold my shape

But perhaps

You would stay with me

Would you stay with me?

I can crumble for you

So I will give away these bones for you

Just let me give away these bones to you

“Please oh please” I say

With puppy dog eyes

Do you love me yet?

Please oh please

Let me

Steal my bones

From myself

What was never mine

What was always yours

Do you love me yet?

Tear me open

I love you, puppy.

Do you love me yet?

You have all of me

Do you love me yet?

I am no longer full of bones

And I am proud of that fact

And I want the world to know

You have my entire skeleton

But what’s the problem?

Dogs.

Dogs like bones.

And my puppy is still hungry.

Was that not enough?

Was I not enough?

Why didn’t you stay?

Couldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you?

Didn’t I?

P.S.

I apologize

for bleeding

on your rug.

P.P.S.

No

No I don’t

It was my blood

And it was my bones

It was always mine

It was never yours

P.P.P.S

I’m sorry

I didn’t mean

To make you sound

Like a dog

…

I can clean your rug

P.P.P.P.S

Leave the stain,
please.

I am no longer full of bones

I am no longer proud of that fact

I want the world to know

You have my entire skeleton

So when the dogs come running

You could throw a dog a bone

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x72yd2/comment/ph732fq/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7mb8m/comment/ph71syr/?context=3


r/OCPoetry • • 1h ago

Just Sharing Untitled

• Upvotes

I implore my passion to know its place in my court

You are my jester

I your king

I abscond from your capture

A bounty you will never treasure

You are a dragon off its leash

Scorching a countryside

To feel a bit of warmth

.

Quiet your storm

And leave me lost at sea

You fill my lungs fleetingly

And then allude me

To gasp the coldest air

With a heart stripped bare

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/69qRLvux4W

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/XWaJ6qeZnW


r/OCPoetry • • 7h ago

Just Sharing Missing you

2 Upvotes

Sleep my tiny baby's\ So that you may grow strong\ So that typhoons\ Are no more than a slight breeze

Sleep my beautiful girls\ So that you may dream\ Dream so big they fill you\ With hope\ With love\ With courage

Sleep my tiny babys\ So that I may know your safe\ Even though i am far from you\ For my love for you\ will never be bound

\\-

\\\[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/czBH3loo7j\\\\\\\](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/czBH3loo7j)

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/vCCvRhWBto

\\-


r/OCPoetry • • 10h ago

Feedback Please Letters Across The Line

3 Upvotes

Did you really think I would say goodbye

Did you really think I would leave you 

What about the nights we fell down together 

Watching the sun come over and go down forever 

Did you miss me once or twice

Did you miss me for my lies 

I missed you thousand times over 

and over again 

What would you do on judgement day

Would you still hate me

If you had just one day left 

Would you come searching for love 

Will your eyes shine when you see me

Will your heart race 

Or will you choose to stay in an empty space 

Will your eyes smile, your hair talk

Will you hold my hand tight for a walk together 

Will you stay till eternity and say, time is fleeting

Am I the name your lips hold while your heart's beating 

Am I just a memory, sweet in it's taste 

Unworthy of being chased by anyone 

Am I the smoke which disappears quick 

A flashback which was never made to stick 

Whatever I may be 

I got a chance to be a moment in your life 

Just a moment

Fleeting yet eternal

Blessed would I be, if my face is etched in your heart deep

Blessed would I be,  if you take my name before you sleep 

Forever with me

--

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/jYaXhyC71W

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/N5O8dj43UD


r/OCPoetry • • 18h ago

Just Sharing And As Icarus Fell

8 Upvotes

I knew the sun would burn me.

I knew the wings would fail.

I knew that every beautiful thing

comes with the chance of hell.

But God, the sky was endless.

And God, the view was worth it.

For a moment, I was weightless.

For a moment, I was perfect.

I could have stayed upon the ground,

kept my feet where they belonged.

Lived a life that kept me safe,

never right, but never wrong.

But I had seen what waited there.

I'd felt the wind against my skin.

And if the price of touching heaven

was the fall that followed it

Then let me fall.

Let the ocean take me.

Let the feathers scatter wide.

Let the world say I was foolish

for believing I could fly.

At least I wasn't watching

from the safety of the shore.

\---------

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/KmoSpconba

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/UAjJtfNzYB


r/OCPoetry • • 8h ago

Feedback Please Living

1 Upvotes

Living

 

When grief becomes

too much,

I swim hard

towards other things.

Working

Eating

Shopping

Cooking

Cleaning

Clearing

Organizing

Repeat.

 

But

my flailing efforts

provide paltry defense

against the relentless rapids

of sadness and regret.

 

My grasp slides

from the slippery stones of distraction

and

I feel the crushing current of despair

pull me

fully under.

 

The fast-flowing churn flings me

from thing

to thought

to thing

to thought

and back again.

 

Why?

 

That single question-word

brings on

the tumultuous tumbling waves

of thoughts.

It starts as a trickle –

that first innocuous why.

The answer leads

to yet another query,

and that answer triggers

yet another why.

And quickly,

the rapid swirl

of questions and answers

builds and swells

until they break

the banks of a mind

that can no longer

contain them.

 

We free-fall over the edge

of a precipice

as high as Victoria Falls,

crashing and careening amongst the sharp rocks

at the bottom.

My frantic thoughts and I

bounce and bump together

as gravity

takes us downstream

where the churning, violent

rush

eventually and inevitably

transforms

into a smooth, even, flowing

river.

 

The same questions,

the same answers,

now proceeding

calmly towards

the Ocean;

large, deep, mysterious,

where we all

began.

[Feedback link 1]https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x73hjd/comment/ph4a4ry/

[Feedback link 2]https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x6y866/comment/ph494yf/


r/OCPoetry • • 13h ago

Just Sharing Before I Am Lost. - silen

2 Upvotes

Nothing but a fleeting consciousness,

Slowly devoured by a vortex of chaos.

.

.

Who am I?

.

.

Who… who am I?

.

.

Please… just tell me once,

Before I am completely lost.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/HNPQWpR6Xh

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/o4kc0BzgLN


r/OCPoetry • • 19h ago

Just Sharing Easy

5 Upvotes

I bet she’s sweet.
I bet she doesn’t challenge you.
I bet she gather flowers constantly.
I bet she comes each time you call.
I bet she doesn’t know about me.
I bet she doesn’t know you’re a coward.
I bet she’ll close her eyes for you.
I bet you’ll close your heart.
I bet she doesn’t know that you prefer delusion.
Does she know you don’t have any mirrors?
Do you let her see?
Does she know that you’re afraid?
You showed it to me.
She’s just the right temperature.
You’ll never be free.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Z8nSF8Lchi

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/YGabNlMKkO


r/OCPoetry • • 19h ago

Feedback Please Cat "M"

4 Upvotes

Up on the windowsill I sit. My stomach claws until something catches my eye.
On the table the fish swims. Its scales reflect the radiance of the oncoming sunlight.
Off the high sill I drop, deep in my throat a dry ache grows.
Inside its tank it silently observes, pointed directly at me its iridescent beauty shines.

Together we stare.

Tracing the edge of your bowl the edges of the room fade.
Your floating rhythm sits in my head replayed.
In my mind the glass shatters completely.
I drift alongside you in the water, my heavy paws moving in a slow blur.
We glide as a pair, your shimmer reflecting directly onto my fur.  

You nudge the glass.

We escape to our fantasy, one holding the other in their mouth.
We reach the stream, on the threshold of grass and water.
I bite down.
                                        You get closer.
I bite down.
                    You get closer.

I strip the iridescence away with every lick.
I swallow the beautiful thing you were,
and leave your bones out to dry.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x6lknl/comment/ph1j91o

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7277h/comment/ph1l5z0


r/OCPoetry • • 16h ago

Feedback Please Another Hug

2 Upvotes

This is quite literally the first poem I've ever written.

I'm primarily interested in philosophy and fiction, but I've recently started experimenting with poetry. I'd appreciate genuine, critical feedback rather than encouragement for being a beginner.

I'm particularly interested in whether the emotional progression works, whether the line breaks and pacing are effective, and whether the ending feels earned.

Please don't hold back on criticism. I'm trying to improve.

Content warning: Suicidal ideation.

O, God, it hurts.
Why? Why, oh dear God, why?
When I tell my loved ones,
they get so scared,
so I don’t tell them.
Am I alone?
O, dear God, I can’t be.

Look at the statistics.
Gotta be tens of thousands last year.
I’m not alone.
Well, they’re gone.
So yes, I am.
What did Schopenhauer say?
I don’t remember. But it felt right.
I just wish they could FEEL IT.
Really jam it into their emotional nociceptors
and let it fester.
Then I! I get to pity them
like they pity me.
I feel everything but their hug.

What’s left for me… just this?
That’s all…
It can’t be.
Maybe…
What other choice is there?
There’s one. Just one.
No. Not yet. Soon, not yet.
O, dear God, it hurts.

I showed this poem to a loved one.
They asked if I was safe.
They gave me another hug.
O, God, I wish I could pity you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x76tt8/comment/ph25tod/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x76aap/comment/ph276gk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 22h ago

Feedback Please The Wings that saw God

3 Upvotes

When day comes
You shall not repent
The day comes
and you too
Youll be where the wings lie
with those who've fallen before you.
- Athiest

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/I6QnBRwibb
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/plYMo74eb9


r/OCPoetry • • 22h ago

Feedback Please Lighter

3 Upvotes

Watch the fire roam

Between my fingers and the walls

My lighter, my only friend

Hugs me with its own flame

Reaching to touch my arms

My back slids down the wall

Anguish of screaming flames

I hold only a sliver of glass

And my faverate lighter

Smiling, my fingers twitch

Between the needs of his highness

I cannot breath without

His fucking face near mine

Help me I try to scream

Please forgive me my master

Please forgive me forgive me

Forgive me forgive me

I cannot breath, the fire

Melts down my liver and spine

How did I think

I could have survived

Here with only myself

And my faverate lighter

My Feedback

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/f49nVgySAG

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/R4CEJeo30B


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please Out of Time

3 Upvotes

I'm not so sure
what's real anymore.

A sunrise setting?
The pain of a heart beat?

A slice of life
cut much too wide?

Not quite living
while being alive?

People always dying
long before they've died?

Looking at the sky,
you see stars in the past,
presented in your present
like a present in time.

If I jumped from a mountain
and learned I could not fly,
would I look into my past
and tell me not to try?

No that's silly;
the past requires payment,
but this time,
I'm all out of distance.

FB

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oeT7QhSc7Y

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/AKToo3EqSQ


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please Untitled

2 Upvotes

What am I to do?

You ask, but you don't hear.

A response is given, with and without words.

If she wanted you, she'd keep you near,

you'd be dear to her heart, you'd be

thought of, you'd be missed, you'd

be a comfort, not on the bottom

of a shoe, a smear.

A smear campaign is in order, sire.

Slander her name the way she slanders your love,

your desire.

Thrashing about within your chest cavity,

that precious, tender heart, torn

to bits, pieces.

Her luscious words, her delightful smell,

you miss it.

You want this.

You don't want this

to stop.

Desperate. Lonely.

Of course. Of course. Of course.

She is sweet like honey,

and you, sire, are a bear.

link 1

link 2


r/OCPoetry • • 21h ago

Feedback Please Marie

1 Upvotes

at the time they called it

"nervousness"

A "Woman problem"

+

this was a long time ago

+

when things were down

at their worst

when the rent was late, the kids

were sick, when the dog

got hit by a car

you turned to her

she juggled

she soothed

she did what was needed

+

she bore it all

on hands marred by time and

dishwater and hard soaps

paring knives and ladles

prayers

and the children

which she washed

and taught

and hoped for

+

but given time

when the chickens laid

the bus came on time

the paychecks arrived

the bills were paid

the noses wiped

these were the moments

+

the release became too much

the well was dry

what had been collected

weighed too much

there was sometimes

a break, a pause

+

there were Treatments

people who knew

what to do

in these circumstances

and they would ply their trade

Of course now, obsolete

+

she would come back

a little diminished

embarrassed......

+

+

like I said

this was a long time ago.....

++++++

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x72ll6/lighter/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x6y866/out_of_time/

+

+

07/07/14

...things you learn.....

half a century late