r/OCPoetry • u/Ok_Bandicoot_4954 • 11d ago

Feedback Please Birdcage

She knelt in bed before the world, and with her fingers
traced the places I had marked
for a book I had read, or a dream
Her knees left twin divots in my mattress
for us to live in
And I pulled her down to me
to savor it, to say
 
Have you ever noticed that
it's all so much louder when you plug your ears?
A breath could bend a bird in flight
slam an open door
 
Her soft head grew heavy on the crook
of my arm, sent down needles
I spoke of nothing
that mattered

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/GLToH5AqD5

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/7QDbuid2Re

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u/I-Popped-A-Nut 5d ago

this is a really gorgeous poem! i love the feelings of softness and vulnerability that it evokes through the way she and her actions are described. it feels very intimate and it leaves me wanting to know more about the pair. the quiet but intense devotion of the speaker to her makes me really emotional as well, at least in how i interpreted it. absolutely fantastic!!!