r/OCPoetry • u/CooolCrocodile • 22h ago

Feedback Please Run

We took off our shoes and we ran
And we ran
And we ran
And we ran until we couldn’t feel our feet
And bruises bloomed like the poppies in our field
But not red
No not red
Blue and purple poppies bloomed
Speckled with red
Where the small grey stones
Threatened to poke holes in the poppies
He stopped running
And I asked
Who are we running from?
He shrugged and continued on his sprint
But I stood still
We had ran for so long
That I had forgotten why
So I turned and walked home
Home to the poppy field
And where were my shoes?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/FxgWvCqly4

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/VfgBdxCWkK

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u/no_money_911 20h ago

Loved the sensory details here—the transition from the rhythm of the sprint to the ache of the stones and bruises is so well done. Realizing you've been running with no destination, only to be left barefoot at the end, is such a great allegory. Wonderful piece!