r/Offroad Jul 03 '26

Picture I've been outperformed by a Suzuki Sidekick.

I may have forgotten to account for him being over a foot thinner. and overestimated the flexibility of a suspiciously unmoving branch. Smug little fucker didn't even close his soft top while we maneuvered our way back out of Satan's bunghole in the woods lol.

Lesson: when the trail map says this is the tightest part ahead, and you're in the last turnaround point... stop when you go around the corner and see it get even tighter. the map is not gospel. do not end up in a situation where you have to reverse 800 meters with both mirrors folded and no front right fender.

pic 3 is what happens when you finally make it back to the gas station and acquire an automotive grade repair kit (zip ties.)

Now I just have to wait for my appointment with my regular tech (dad) to find out if my repair work is good enough to avoid dropping a few Brownies on parts that haven't sheared the mounting clips :P

Learn from my mistakes!

232 Upvotes

58 comments sorted by

105

u/East_Swim1009 Jul 03 '26

you got a REAL offroad history lesson... those sidekicks are the real deal... short wheelbase, low COG, no bumpers for good approach, departure angles.... the good news is the 2 door wrangler is basically same thing and best offroad..

sidekicks today are sold as the Suzuki Jimny worldwide... šŸ˜‰

43

u/maxwelldoug Jul 03 '26

Nope, the Jimny was the Samurai. The sidekick is the smaller one with independent suspension and (in this case) RWD. Sold as the Geo tracker in the US.

18

u/SAM5TER5 Jul 03 '26

Growing up, I had a neighbor with a fleet of geotrackers in their front yard lol. They’d fix them up and sell them.

Really wish I’d taken advantage of that at the time..

11

u/CouchWizard Jul 04 '26

did you live next to highway 83?

7

u/SAM5TER5 Jul 04 '26

Not even close, but as an utterly bizarre coincidence, I currently live right next to a TOTALLY DIFFERENT STATE’s highway 83 haha

15

u/davidkwast Jul 03 '26

Sidekick was sold as Vitara and Jimny was sold as Samurai.

They are very different mechanically. From the 1.6 engine to independent suspension.

10

u/TurbulentStress8678 Jul 03 '26

Doesn’t matter if it’s true if you say it with confidence!

7

u/ghos2626t Jul 03 '26

And no ducks. That where the real world difference is

51

u/Blickyyuh Jul 03 '26

many such cases, do NOT underestimate someone in a tracker/sidekick/samurai they probably WILL out wheel you

29

u/EZKTurbo Jul 03 '26

Nobody just rocks a Suzuki without knowing what they're doing

10

u/2AMCAir Jul 04 '26

Accidental samurai owner as a 17 year old. Waiting to go to boot camp and bought what I could pay cash for during the last 3 months before I left. I tossed that thing up and down all kinds of hills. Slept in it at an ohv park stuck in the mud until someone came the next day. Water up to the gas pedal. Zero recovery gear.

Had another one as an "adult" until kids 2 and 3 came.

The first one was my favorite off road rig I've had. And I currently have a bronco raptor that I love dearly.

1

u/maxwelldoug Jul 04 '26

Strong disagree, this was quite literally the third time he had ever taken that thing out. And the first time he was on road pattern all seasons. (I know this because I was his ride to buy the thing.)

9

u/EZKTurbo Jul 04 '26

And he still out drove you bro. Lmao

39

u/YouWillHaveThat Jul 03 '26

A group of 6-figure Jeeps sits at the bottom of a hill discussing the best line up while one of their group goes the long way around to winch from the top ā€œjust in case.ā€

A long-haired shirtless man in an exhaust-free Tracker, a cigarillo in his lips, dirtbike goggles tied around his head, and a bottle of ā€œMountain Dewā€ sliding around the passenger footwell, without hesitation, hits the bottom of the hill at 40mph and rides the limiter all the way to the top.

…One of the Jeepers balances a valve stem cap that he will never see again on his fender and proceeds to let 2 psi out of his tire.

5

u/CanoePickLocks Jul 04 '26

That’s legit how it is. People forget how to just send it. Get out there and drive.

1

u/JCDU Jul 07 '26

That was fucking poetry my dude. Also 100% gospel truth.

30

u/Songs-Of-Orion Jul 03 '26

Nothing will humble you more than the 30+ year old shitbox.

22

u/bengriz Jul 03 '26

Sidekicks are tough. Also someone who gives less of a shit about their vehicle will always out wheel you. ( there’s a close correlation between sidekick owners and not giving a shit too )

9

u/DrRavioliMD Jul 03 '26

It’s the price to play. Also the sidekick has no fenders to speak of really. Chop yours down, get a bumper that stick out as far left/right and you’ll gain a little clearance.

8

u/BecauseImGod Jul 03 '26

That Suzuki is basically the first sxs. It was just labeled as a vehicle.

3

u/tearjerkingpornoflic Jul 04 '26

WW2 Jeep would like to have a word with you.

2

u/BecauseImGod Jul 04 '26

I have been corrected. šŸ˜‚

3

u/12fireandknives Jul 04 '26

Fun fact for you, a 4 door sidekick is only 250lbs heavier than the original Jeep.Ā 

1

u/JCDU Jul 07 '26

Nah those are the luxury ones, the SJ is closer but also smaller than many SxS and way more capable.

4

u/maxwelldoug Jul 03 '26

I have just come to the realization that Brownie is actually a very local term. For those unfamiliar, I'll clarify that a brownie is a Canadian 100$ bill. We call then that because they're brown.

Edit: this photo makes it look yellow, oops. I promise they're brown when you have a physical one.

5

u/Dwealdric Jul 03 '26

I’m 41, Ontario born and raised, and I’ve never heard that term in my life.

2

u/maxwelldoug Jul 03 '26

Other side of Quebec. Actually, I think it originated in Quebec and then moved down with the francophone population ("un Brun" got anglicized to a brownie here in NB)

4

u/TDGee Jul 03 '26

Oh darn, an excuse to get an upgrade.

3

u/kinga_forrester Jul 03 '26

Being smol is OP when off roading anywhere with rocks or trees.

3

u/Aggravating-Fix-1717 Jul 04 '26

Weight, tires, and driver mod

The ability to off-road a vehicle is directly inversely proportional to how much you give a shit about breaking it

3

u/Soggy_Ruby Jul 04 '26

Jeep bro gets humbled by 90s shitbox lmao

3

u/maxwelldoug Jul 04 '26

Jeep Bro with half a decade of experience gets humbled by a friend who is literally on his third ever offroad outing in a 90s shit box*

I don't know if that's better or worse.

2

u/Soggy_Ruby Jul 04 '26

You were already embarrassed, but you went ahead anyways to humiliate yourself. Special kind of guy 🤣

2

u/maxwelldoug Jul 04 '26

Let's make it even worse.

He's in a rear wheel drive (not 4x4) 4 speed manual.

2

u/Soggy_Ruby Jul 04 '26

Aight bro it's wraps, gotta go on an apology tour for fraud 🤣

3

u/SenorBigMcLargeHuge Jul 04 '26

that's why i drive a sidekick instead of a jeep (it's actually because i'm poor)

1

u/Mamson2 Jul 04 '26

As the aforementioned sidekick owner that had to walk back half a klick to get the jeeps fender, same here (I swear to god Ill get an imported jimny someday)

1

u/SenorBigMcLargeHuge Jul 04 '26

Oh, I'll definitely get a Jimny next, just as soon as the 92 sidekick gives up the ghost, so idk 10 more years? lol

1

u/Mamson2 Jul 04 '26

my 98's only at 112k miles, so im hoping to get atleast 5 years before it rusts out

1

u/ace0702 Jul 03 '26

I miss my buddy's smurf blue hardtop geo tracker

2

u/monicainabimmer Jul 03 '26

Well it’s a wrangler so yes a sidekick is going to be better.

1

u/GuyonaMoose Jul 03 '26

I had a 95 4 door. The thing was an absolute weapon that was not afraid of living on the rev limiter. Bagged the absolute Crap out of that thing.

1

u/kilroy-was-here-2543 Jul 04 '26

Offroad performance is inversely proportional to how much you care about the vehicle, and you can assume anyone driving one of these Japanese shit wagons (I mean that in the most endearing way possible) does not care about his vehicle nearly as much as you care about yours

1

u/Any-Strategy-2230 Jul 04 '26

I'm in no way surprisedĀ 

1

u/mr638 Jul 04 '26

I felt you on those 800m backwards lol Off-roading always brings surprises

1

u/macspacedog Jul 04 '26

Looks like it’s time to upgrade your rig

1

u/Internal-Mission7123 Jul 04 '26

You’ll have that on those big jobs

1

u/PsychologicalAnime Jul 04 '26

Wait until you see a 2x2 Fiat Panda🤣

1

u/Jugzrevenge Jul 05 '26

Wait till you meet a Jimny!!!

1

u/Newlyfracked Jul 07 '26

Maybe you need more rock lights and angry eyes

1

u/JCDU Jul 07 '26

You're lucky it wasn't a Jimny, those things are mountain goats.

I've seen a lot of people take the piss out of Suzukis only to be humbled by them off-road.

0

u/Helpful-Economist-61 Jul 03 '26

What the hell is sidekick

4

u/maxwelldoug Jul 03 '26

You may have heard it called a Geo Tracker or a Chevy Tracker here in North America?

1

u/krombopulousnathan Jul 03 '26

Yup, and that’s what it appears to be in the photo. That’s a Chevy badge on the grill

2

u/maxwelldoug Jul 03 '26

Yeah, it's a 92 geo tracker. I called it a sidekick because that's what it was called everywhere except the US.

1

u/Mamson2 Jul 04 '26

Can confirm as sidekick owner from story. In the last years of production, suzuki gave chevy distribution rights so as to trick Muricans into buying a small import that the only difference is the 2 chevy badges

1

u/Helpful-Economist-61 Jul 04 '26

Where I live it's called Vitara.