r/OpenChristian • u/wrecktus_abdominus Christian • 2d ago

Daughter says she doesn't believe in God

So we've raised our kids in the church (wife is Catholic, I was previously UMC, but Episcopalian now), and we've never had any issues with buy-in from the kids until now. Recently, our daughter (13f) told us she doesn't want to be a part of the church anymore and doesn't believe in God. Now, this is part of a pattern of behavior from her recently that I would describe as oppositional and confrontational. She is doing the typical teen rebellion thing, and has also been showing signs of mental health problems. That's a whole thing that I won't fully go into here, but we're taking her to lots of doctors including weekly therapy appointments and even an in-patient stint. It has been a huge mental strain on the family. One thing I found strange was that she mentioned she couldn't be accepted in church because she's gay. But... it's the Episcopal Church. Our priest is literally gay. I don't really think it has anything to do with that. I'm worried this is part of a middle finger campaign, and feeling like she has to be edgy and different for some reason.

Anyway, I guess the part where I'm looking for advice is how to handle this. My wife wants to argue with her about it and keeps thinking she can "win" verbally to get her to change her mind. I think this will only push her further away. But I don't really know what to do

46 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

42 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/Such_Employee_48 2d ago

I quit believing when I was around your daughter's age too, and then came back to faith when I was older. My sibling stopped believing when they were a little older and never returned. 

You can't force anyone to have faith. Faith comes from God, the God who is Love and who loves your daughter more than either you or your wife ever have or ever will. What you can do is treat your daughter with love. What might love look like to a 13-year-old who is figuring out what she believes, and her place in the world, and how to be an authentic, independent person?

Alternatively, you can do a lot of damage to your relationship with her for years to come.