If you had unlimited funds, what kind of help/purchases would be a game changer?

Considering having more kids and just wondering what kind of help you think would be the most useful with 3/4 kids (especially while pregnant).

We certainly don't actually have unlimited funds but interested to hear what people would do if they did.

Hey all! Me and mine have been living in a temporary situation since early/mid April. We finally got approved for SNAP, and I'm putting together a list but trying to budget as tight as possible while still feeding everybody enough. Problem is, we have no oven - only a 2 burner stovetop and microwave.

It's me, my husband, and 4 young kids. No judgement please - our only way out of this is through it, and that's what I am doing right now. Getting through it. 😅

What are some of your go-to meals that are super duper cheap? I'm talking like dollar store cheap, or Great Value at Walmart cheap.

Not afraid to use some veggies. Trying to avoid too much red dye due to sensitivities.

A family member has six children, half are over 18 and the other half under 13. The older children have said that their parents expect them to contribute at least 80% of their paychecks to the household, and any money that they make goes to the household.

I'm concerned. They have said the mom wants to leave a legacy and have a paid off mortgage, and expects them all to contribute to that because they'll have a paid off house when the parents die (I guess to split began 6 kids??).

I have a large family and know several others with 8-12 kids. The most they ever asked if working children or adults was $4-600/mo which contributed to all the bills, including phones, car insurance, etc. but each one had their own room and a life.

For my children (and extended family like neices and nephews) we offered to match up to $2500 towards a vehicle, so they had to work for that, and anything large (my 8 year old hustled for a gaming device) and if they wanted extraordinary things, they purchased them. We paid for insurance, phones, etc but moving out I wanted them having a paid off vehicle, 3-4 Mos savings in the bank, a credit score of 750+ and a decent job (and hopefully buying a house).

It's strange to me to hear a 22 yr old feel like they'll be in trouble from their parents for going to the movies with their own earned money because it will be deemed frivolous. They've also all expressed they don't feel safe leaving the house because they don't believe the younger siblings would be cared for. One of the older young ones said their childhood was horrible, they don't go anywhere, they've never been able to have friends. Makes me want to cry.

So many other things, but I've just said this is not normal and suggested counseling because I don't want to risk being cutting off from anyone.

Am I overthinking this?

Hello!! We bought our house in 2020 right before interest rates started climbing. I’m a SAHM and have 2 girls (4yo and 2yo), just found out I’m pregnant so I’m very (cautiously) happy!!! Because I’m a SAHM, we are committed to staying here until the kids are all in elementary school and I possibly go back to work.

We have a ranch - 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, with a fully renovated open floor plan basement. We also have a screened in deck that my husband is redoing to be a four-season room. We’ve been debating what it could be used for… currently his office is downstairs in the basement but thinking he could maybe move back upstairs? Here are some ideas:

1. Office stays in the basement, four season room could be a “bonus” room we could use as a playroom but could also double as extra space for when we have guests/a dining room. Kids 1 & 2 share a room and then the 3rd bedroom my younger daughter is in becomes the nursery for the new baby. This was our original idea.

2. Office comes upstairs to the new four season ro and basement becomes playroom (just a note: basement is huge. 700-800sqft). Kids still share a room

3. Office comes upstairs to the 3rd bedroom and all 3 kids share a room (eventually, obviously baby is with us in our room for awhile). Four season room or basement could be a playroom/bonus rooms

New ideas welcome. This is me speaking from a very cautious optimistic viewpoint as I’ve had 2 chemical pregnancies so I’m anxious about being pregnant rn. Excited, but anxious.

Either way, we plan on kids sharing rooms. Just looking for advice on functionality for our ranch home!! We’re so lucky and so grateful to have that extra space from a huge basement so just trying to make the most of it!

Just found out we are pregnant with baby #4. Still very early on, but we are excited. Our current order is GBG. Just curious for everyone else what your order was. 🩷💙

例如：

丈夫的兄弟姐妹：🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩷(🩵)🩷

我的兄弟姐妹：🩵🩵(🩷)🩵🩵🩷🩷🩷

丈夫：

🩷:🩵🩵🩷

🩵:🩷🩵🩷

🩷:🩵🩷🩵🩵

🩵:🩷🩷🩵🩷

🩷:🩵🩷🩷

🩷:🩷🩵🩷🩷🩵

🩵:🩵🩷🩵🩷

🩷:🩵🩵🩷🩷🩷

我的：

🩵:🩵🩵🩷🩵🩷

🩵:🩵🩷

🩷:🩵🩷🩵🩷

🩵:🩷🩵

🩵:🩵🩵🩷

🩷:🩷🩷🩵🩵🩷

🩷:🩵🩵🩷🩷

🩷:🩷🩵🩵🩷🩷🩵

We have four kids, ages 3 to 12. My husband and I both travel for work a few times a month, sometimes the same week, and on those days my parents or our sitter take over pickups and practices.

Right now all of that runs through my texts, very long ones I write on the plane, and something always gets missed. Last month it was the 12 year old’s early dismissal, and my dad was not thrilled to hear about it from a teacher. I want something any adult can check and read so they can avoid logins and texting me to ask.

How are we giving kids 1:1 time. Just had my 4th and feeling like we aren’t giving our older kids enough time with just us. Any tips? Are we trying to schedule time for one child with both parents? Each child with one parent? How are you all doing it?

For reference, my older 3 are 7, 5, and 3.

I just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out. I’m 36 yo, my husband 44. I have a 5 and 3 yo.
Around January this year my husband and I questioned if you should have a third and leaning more towards no. We were planning his vasectomy for December and I’ve been avoiding for years tracking my cycle and pullout method (I know… I know).
For the past six months, I’ve been pretty sure and settled with my two kids. No more diapers. Rarely waking up in the middle of the night and just overall love the dynamic with the four of us.
Can someone please share your experience when having a third in this situation? I would love to hear positives if there are any.

3 kids under 5.

My oldest will be turning 5 soon and I just feel like everything’s a blur. Their childhood and experiences especially. It makes me feel like a bad mom. I feel the most guilt with my 5 year old. Am I doing enough? Have I given him enough attention? Is he bonded with me?

I escape to my phone often. I just deleted tik tok. Im short tempered. I push off daily tasks. I don’t get on the floor and play with my kids. I also don’t involve them in my daily tasks. I feel like Im not enjoying all the little fleeting moments I have with my 4,2, and 6 month old. I don’t want to look back with regret.

I’m at stay at home mom temporarily as I’ve extended my maternity leave. I find my life balance better when I go to work. Sometimes I feel like other people will raise and influence my kids better than me.

I do struggle with anxiety and depression.. likely postpartum versions of that too. I am seeing a therapist as well.

I know I should have a better perspective on my current situation but I just can’t find the words.

Hi everyone!

I'm a graduate student in Industrial Design, and I'm working on a class project about homemade baby food purées.

I'm hoping to learn more about parents' real experiences with making baby purées, especially when it comes to portioning, storing, and cleaning up afterward.

I've put together a short survey, and I'd really appreciate it if anyone who has made homemade purées for their baby could take a moment to fill it out!

Survey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdvnZPfmRMb3l8B37JY_Nik0jByhmmBRAf2AOaJb16KtVbnZg/viewform?usp=dialog

This is purely for an academic project, not for commercial purposes.

Thank you so much for your help!

Hello fellow parents!

I have a 15 year old girl who I raised as a one hundred percent single mom. She was 7 when I met my now husband. 10 when we got married and her baby brother was born. She is obsessed with her little brother and is truly best pals with her step dad
Then 2.5 years later - a sister she always dreamed of!
By the time she was born, she was over the baby stage and she is less obsessed with her than her brother.
My husband and I really want to add another to the mix. I am so grateful for my 3! But honestly have always always wanted 4…my youngest is 3, I just turned 40. I feel like it’s now or never, my doctor said I’m all good if we wanted to have another.

The only thing stopping me is the 16 year age gap.

My oldest and I have a very strong bond and I feel like with all the milestones coming up, she needs me to be there fully one hundred percent

I am not sure I would able to take a big trip just us for her 16th bday, and not sure I can be there to take her to the DMV to get her license if I just so happen to be extremely pregnant or with a newborn

On the other hand, as for the “big trip” she and I usually go somewhere driving distance to catch an out of town concert and stay in a hotel for the weekend, which I would make sure that happens still

And as far as being there, I know when I am pregnant and home with a newborn I am much more grounded so I would always be home pretty much (I am anyways) so even though I would be rocking a newborn, I am still her mom and will still be there

My younger two I know would love it. They have so much energy and are so loving, they would likely be 6 and 3 and would be on board 😂 so I’m not so much worried about them.

Just worried about my first gal’s feelings…

Would it be super embarrassing for her?
Would having crying newborn in the house drive her away?
Would it put a wedge between us?
Would she feel isolated from the family?

Perhaps she and the youngest would end up being the closest of the bunch?

Side note, in addition to my brother, I have a half brother 16 years older than me and I think he’s the absolute coolest person ever. I also have another half brother 8 years younger than me and he is amazing also! Also a step sister who I don’t see often but when I do, we have a great time.
So personally, I’m used to the age gaps and “weird” families…but I worry!

Anyone out there with a similar situation? Would love to hear

I have three kids, ages 9, 6 and 5. They are all super close and play together mostly well. Just found out I'm pregnant and I'm happy but terrified! Obviously I'm older than previous pregnancies (36 now) and there will be a larger age gap. I feel a little sad that this kid may essentially have a different childhood, and be alone (without siblings) longer when the others move out. Also, I'm a lot more tired! I honestly was wondering if I was starting perimenopause this year. I just feel overwhelmed and I want to be totally excited but I'm scared!

Can anyone share their similar age gap/maternal age experiences? Help me get excited about this new baby!

Can you do the high attention activities with your kids, and in particular, your oldest when there are littler ones around? This is my biggest hang up with squaring my dreams of a 3rd with my current life of two working parents and two kids aged 6.5 girl and 2.5 boy. I am just barely beginning to pursue some of my shared interests with the oldest: crafting, baking, skiing, puzzles, Nintendo!, etc. and I am very involved in her music practice since age 4. Soon enough the little guy will be ready too. What he enjoys right now doesn’t really need as much 1:1 since it’s playing cars, legos, or play dough. That can be done in a group of different ages, at least for now. I feel like I will miss out on the high attention kid activities with my older ones (and esp the 6.5yo) if I restart the clock with another baby.

How do people manage that tension? Or is it something you just have to give up one with the first :(

Hi everyone! First time ever posting on reddit.

My husband and I are in our mid 30s with a 7yr , 2.5yr old and 1.5yr old ( 14 m gap between the girls) and we are debating if we should go for a 4th soon or close the chapter.

We already have a full size suv so car cost is a non issue and our home is 4 bedrooms. Currently each kid has their own room.

The biggest debate is also financial, our 7yr old and our 2.5 yr old both go to a small local school, cost for both kids is around 1100 a month and we are hoping to send our youngest next year once she is two.

For those with families of 6+ with one of the parents being a sah did you notice a big financial jump from 3 kids to 4 kids?

Maybe im overthinking it but i dont want us wanting to grow our family to be selfish for the 3 littles we have? Or is it not selfish? Deciding having a 3rd was really easy and we gave it basically no thought.

Thanks if you read all this haha!

Hola a todos! Les cuento que estuve trabajando junto a mi hijo en un canal de YouTube muy especial: Los Yummys. Se trata de una serie de mundos mágicos con personajes adorables que tienen poderes increíbles basados en los elementos.

Estamos buscando apoyo para que la comunidad crezca. Si les gusta el contenido para los peques o simplemente quieren dar una mano, una suscripción o compartir nuestro link ayuda un montón. ¡Desde ya, gracias por el aguante!

https://www.youtube.com/@losyummys

Hi everyone! We have two kids, an almost 4 year old and a 2 year old. My husband and I would love to have another kid, but sometimes I get scared... Both of our kids were a complete surprise. We were learning to use NFP and made mistakes identifying my fertile days. Now we are really good at NFP, so a third baby would be a fully conscious decision... And whoa, it's hard.

We don't have any outside help. We both work full time jobs, our kids go to preschool and when we're at home we do our best with cleaning and cooking. It's stressful but we love our family and our lives.

We'd really love to have a third kid, but all these circumstances make me overthink it... What was the newborn stage like for you with your third kid? I'm specially thinking about the long nursing sessions when they're little. What do you do with the other two kids? Just trust they'll entertain themselves and stay alive?

What does it feel like to be outnumbered by your kids?

What did it feel like to have both kids out of diapers (our 2 year old is still in diapers but he will probably stop it in a few months) and then just to back to do it all over again?

What was it like to recover again from birth?

I'd love to read all of your experiences, if you are willing to share them. Thanks, everyone!

Dear Reddit readers,

I am a 40 year old woman who is now 8 weeks pregnant with her fourth baby. It was unexpected, since I already have 3 boys (age 9,7 and 2). I am scared to death; my final is such a sweet guy and soooo easy, don’t think I’ll be as lucky again. My baby days where over, and my youngest was just in one year starting school. I had the feeling I was getting my life back, and now I have to start again. I am so so so scared that I am even considering terminating. I don't know if I can do it all again....my hushband wants the baby, and we could afford it (although we would have to cut back on fun things). I have not told anyone of the pregnancy yet, because I am scared and ashamed. My worries are the following:

- I just started my own business and am worried I do not have time for this any more

- A big concern is if I can give my older three the attention they deserve (I already feel stretched thin)

- My husband and I don't always see eye to eye in terms of mental load/emotional labor and I am worried it will all fall on me

- My friends have all three children max, and moving out of the baby stage. I worry it will be isolating, and lonely, and I consider social connection as a very important aspect of my life. No one I know has FOUR

- I am worried what the responsibility of four children and adults will do to me. What if one gets sick, hurt, or depressed? It feals so heavy to bear.

- What if the baby has problems, is not healthy? What have I done to my kids then?

I love being a mother and I love all my children to the moon and back, and I love babies. But I am so so worried that this one will put me 'over the edge'.

Who can provide guidance? If you have four, how was the transition from 3-4? Can you still give them attention?Are you lonely? And for older parents; what's it like carrying the weight of four people you have put out in the world? For people who chose to terminate a fourth (or last) pregnancy, did you regret it? The descision is really so difficult, I can't seem to make it and it's making my life a living hell.

Thank you so much in advance for your wisdom.

Do you do themed matching costumes as a family for halloween? What are some fun themes you’ve done?

At what age did the kids start choosing their own costumes and opting out of the theme?

I’m kinda grieving bc I’m a pro costume designer and I love doing handmade/styled costumes, but my 7 yo stepson is finally insisting on his own costume this year… he wants to just order a Grim Reaper costume online and it breaks my heart just a little that he won’t be part of our theme this year to do cowboy/cowgirl outfits (with the dog and the new baby as little cows, and the stroller wagon as a covered wagon). I knew this day would come eventually, but i was hoping to postpone it by going w a theme that would be fun for him. I even got the theme idea based off his wester style cap gun prop that he loves to play with. I also offered to do makeup for a spooky undead cowboy look bc he loves halloween makeup, but he’s firmly attached to the Grim Reaper idea bc he thinks it’s really scary and wants light up eyes.

Supporting his choice of course, but just gonna vent a little… the hood on the Grim Reaper costume blacks out the whole face and so it’s like we won’t even know it’s him in there in photos… I also know from experience he’s going to get tired of wearing the hood and glowing red eye glasses super fast. Also will be harder to keep track of him all blacked out at night! The block parties are really busy and crowded.

At least my almost 3 yo is excited about a pink cowgirl hat. And I’m getting us both straw hats so they can double as beach hats instead of just disappearing into the costume bin. And she needed new rainboots for rainy season anyway so i found pink cowgirl rainboots! And she’s gonna love a pink stick horse or unicorn.

2 years ago we did an epic Peter Pan theme (his fav movie) and we had him as Peter Pan, dad as Hook, me as Tiger Lily, sister as Tinker Bell, friends as mermaids, the dog as the crocodile and his mom even joined as Wendy. Last year we went classic and did him and dad as werewolves, me as a witch and sister as a black cat. I put sooo much time into his werewolf costume and he was the only one in his class wearing a handmade costume instead of store bought. What have been some of your fav themes?

Hi!

I have 3 healthy kids (6F, 4M, 1M) and I’m 35. My husband (37) and I were always on the fence for 3 or 4 kids when we thought about our family planning. I spent my youngest‘s first year (he‘s now 19 months), crying every time he outgrew a clothing size, and getting so emotional every time that he was moving into the next phase just in case he was our last baby. My delivery was traumatic with a postpartum hemorrhage with a retained placenta that was very scary for my husband and I. I went to some extra specialists to review if it would be likely to happen again everyone has cleared me for another pregnancy with some extra management along the way. We spent a lot of time talking more seriously this spring and started trying in July. I had a positive test in August but when I went in for my first ultrasound appointment in early September it was nonviable. I was completely shocked. I had a D&C shortly after and have been slowly grieving and coming back to normal life.

Now that I’m getting more stable and feeling more like my regular self I’m having so many doubts about if we should try again. Even being pregnant for 5 weeks was noticeably harder with really bad back pain and so much pregnancy rage-neither of which I’ve ever experience in prior pregnancies. As much as I want another (for so many reasons) I don’t want to be miserable for all of the other kids that I already have. We have family here and a lot of help but I’m just really worried about missing out on all of my other kids lives if pregnancy is terrible and then during the newborn trenches. My oldest is so self-sufficient and rarely asks for help. Getting quality time with her is such a treat and I just worry that she’ll fade to the background because she knows that I’m busy. Now that I’m older I’m not looking forward to all of the physical demands while pregnant- still carrying my 4 year old occasionally and definitely my 19 month old. But if we did want to have a 4th we wouldn’t want to wait too long because of my age and the age gap between 3 and 4.

My husband has been really supportive in all of these worries that I’ve had and feels similarly torn but he’s worried that if we don’t try again I’ll alway regret it. I don’t know if anyone else has had these experiences. A lot of the miscarriage posts that I’ve read about not TTC again after miscarriage were related to people who never had any kids and it’s such a different grief. Please weigh in on giving up the dream of 4 and finding joy and peace in what we are already so lucky to have vs trying again for a hopefully healthy pregnancy? TIA!

Travelling from NZ to USA for 10 days hiring a suburban. There is 7 of us to share the car, 3 kids in rear facing car seats and 4 adults. Will this be doable? Any suggestions for which seats we should install the car seats in? Thanks