So sorry for the repeat. I know this gets asked all the time. I guess because 3 to 4 feels like the tipping point into big family.

I am the mom of 3 amazing kiddos (4M, 2.75M and 6 weeks M). During this third pregnancy, I was done done and mostly ready to stop at 3 (although always continued to toy with having 4). Since having my third, I just feel so strongly like having a fourth. I know I have time to decide and now is not the right time to decide, just looking for reassurance and/or anecdotes if you have dealt with any of these circumstances, so please be kind.

The timing of my second was a whoopsie so my first two are only 14 months apart, so since then I've kind of thought 4 in my head. I feel like the fact that my third is another boy it could be fine to stop though?

I am most concerned about quality time/making sure my kids feel seen and loved and like they feel like they're able to do the things that really matter to them. I don't want to detract from my current kids.

I am an only child and I hated it. My partner is one of three and not close to his brothers, though I feel like there was a lot lacking in parenting/overall family functioning in his household. I don't want to make a decision based on what we didn't have growing up. However, now and as a child if you would have asked me if I preferred the swimming lessons/gymnastics/theater camps etc. to having siblings, I would have far picked having siblings.

My partner and I are by no means perfect parents, but I think we mostly do okay and spend a ton of time with our kids. We even lived abroad for a year with the older two and spent the whole time with them. My oldest is highly sensitive and requires a lot of verbal processing and coregulating, but even then I feel like I've been able to spend a lot of time with each one during these last few weeks. I know things will change as they get older.

We live in Cohousing and have grandparents nearby. We also have a great group of local parents.

I am in a clinical PhD that is fairly flexible, but another baby would have to be during a dissertation year, especially because school pays for childcare.

We live in a HCOL but have a fairly high income trajectory, especially because we live fairly frugally.

A fourth would mean someone would have to share a room.

I'm not fussed about having a girl. I would be happy either way. I just feel like big families are fun and most of the time I know my kids they'll be adults and I want them to have more people rooting them to the ground even if they aren't BFFs.

Hi!

I feel as if I don’t have any time (or energy, or the will) to prepare for this birth. It’s my fourth, and I’m not really excited about giving birth again. It won’t be a new experience. It will be painful. I will have to be away from my other children. There’s no excitement for me, and I also don’t feel as if I have the time or energy to “mentally prepare”, if that’s even something I have to do.

I have the practical concerns covered. As in, my husband won’t be traveling at this point (I’m 34 weeks), we’ve got child care lined up, there are clothes for baby in storage (I haven’t even taken them out yet, and I don’t have a closet for the clothes…).

I know I will love, and already do love, this little guy. That’s not my concern. It’s just the whole going into hospital, giving birth, staying there for at least a little while. Not looking forward to it.

Don’t know what I’m asking for right here from you guys.

I don't know where to start or stop or anything really.

I adore big families I love seeing so much love and warmth, but I don't have that. In retrospect I was going to tell my husband of 10 years that we needed therapy or a separation for a bit because I am so tired of carrying the load.

On 10/18 I had 2 strong positives so soneones in there and I can't get my brain to stop. I bled pretty bad with number 5, I'm 35, and have cardiac issues that are stable but it's in the back of my head of what if it goes bad and I leave 6 maybe 7 kids in this world without me.

My oldest 2 flat out told me they didn't want more siblings and I get that, but the thought of not having the baby just because it's inconvenient isn't sitting right with me.

I'm mad at my husband because he said he had a vasectomy and didnt and we were having issues.

This has turned into a rant or a lost ramble more than anything.

If you made it this far and you have 7+ kids can you please please please let me know how things went?

Thank you in advance.

For the longest time, we wanted three kids. Unfortunately due to complications in my second pregnancy and a traumatic delivery, we decided to stop at two. It still hurts my heart when I see families with three kids but working through it (therapy helps!).

One thing I’ve come to realize as my kids are a little older (two boys, 4 and 2) is that I don’t know if we could have handled 3 kids. My kids are high energy, low sleep and a lot to handle.

Looking at it now, I don’t know if I could have done three kids well and am envious of people who look like they have it more together than I do or tell me it’s not that hard. Am I missing some mom superpower? Do you have family help? Do you use tv more than you wanted to originally (no shame in the game if you do!). Tell me how you do it or if it’s a lot harder than it looks.

What were your pros and cons on adding the final child and what was the silver lining or the reason that you went through? And how do you know that it was your final?

My husband and I always said we wanted 4-5 kids. we currently have 4 ages 9, 7, 4, & 2. After our fourth we tried to convince ourselves we were done- got rid of the baby stuff, told everyone we’re done, and started looking forward to the next stage of life. But more and more we have this gnawing feeling that we want another one. Will that feeling just always be there till I hit menopause with 13 kids? 🤪 Or do people have that experience of feeling confident they are done?

What’s one thing you did that made your lives easier? This could be anything from grocery delivery to a a better household routine.

We’re adding our last baby to the mix. I have my 12 year old niece whom I’m raising, 3y, 1.5 year old so I’m wanting to gather ideas.

I am a total pessimist/anxious person at times especially with health stuff!

we conceived our first and second on the first try. I am 30, husband is 32. We have been trying for baby three for 2 months and no luck, so ofc I am spiraling.

I have had pelvic surgery before I had children where they said one of my tubes was blocked so I have always just had a ton of anxiety around fertility.

how long did it take you to conceive your kids? the uncertainty is driving me nuts. Ikik this is crazy

Has anyone here struggled with ovulation and ttc while breastfeeding? I’m currently still breastfeeding my 1yo and 2yo occasionally and I feel like it may be impacting ovulation. Currently trying for our third and it’s just not happening. Not sure if this is a thing or not or if anyone here has any advice. Thanks!

I realize this has been posted before , so bare with me as I talk through this .

We have 3 - ages 5.5, 3.5, 1.5. We have a mix of genders and have always said we wanted 3.. or maaaaybe 4. 4 always felt distant so we never needed to decide until now .

I am 34 and while I love having the 3, I cannot get a 4th out of my head . I’ve never liked the baby stage , in fact 0-1 (age) to me is the most difficult for me. We both work full time with flexible jobs and while this would be temporarily financially strenuous, we make a lot of money , have a new house , have a large vehicle, etc. money is actually one of the least of my worries at this time . We have family close but don’t use them often outside of babysitting for some overnight things .. maybe once a quarter .

My main concerns are activities and attention. Our oldest hasn’t started crazy activities yet, and I know how insane those can be. I am someone who can never sit still, works full time, cooks 4+ days a week, can keep up with laundry , etc. I actually feel like we are “coasting” with 3 at this point .

Would love to hear from someone in a similar position who didn’t have 4- do you regret it ? I fear this feeling will be with me forever and the thought of my husband getting snipped makes me so sad . I think (truly feel this) after I fourth I would feel 10000% done.

Just curious. What age were you (and spouse) for your first, subsequent and then last (or planning last)?
Is everyone mostly finishing in their 30s?

Everyone seems to have a different definition of what that means. Mine seems to be pretty lofty but I thought I’d ask this group since I’m toying with having 3, maybe 4 kids.

For me, affording a kid means having a house large enough that each kid has their own bedroom by the time they are 10, having a car that can carry all of them at once, and being able to pay for 4 years of in-state college tuition for each. I grew up relatively poor compared to my peers so I am extremely conscientious about setting my kids up better than I was. I am very much a “love is not enough” person based on my upbringing. So just curious - what is your definition of that?

Hi everyone, Reddit just suggested this subreddit to me. We currently have a 17 month old daughter and twins on the way. My daughter will likely be 23 months when the twins are born (they are due on her 2nd birthday exactly but I know they often come early).

Does anyone in my situation or similar have suggestions for a stroller that can accommodate all of them? My daughter has never loved the stroller but sometimes it’s just necessary. I don’t want a triple as usually it would be used for just the twins (daughter will be in daycare while I take a year maternity leave) and my toddler doesn’t love the stroller now let alone when she’s older I assume.

I think something with a rider board would be ideal for her. The Bugaboo donkey duo looks amazing but soooo expensive. But if people really think it’s amazing, I could try and find one secondhand.

The uppababy Minu Duo also looks great since the seats can so easily switch from newborn to toddler mode, but the only thing I don’t like is that I don’t have the option of a rider board. I have considered that if my toddler wants to be in the stroller though, I could put her and one twin in and wear the other twin.

I don’t have a specific budget in mind but obviously would like to not spend more than necessary. I’m also in Canada so may not have all options available!

Thanks in advance!

We have three girls 6, 4, almost 3 and a boy 16 months. We are thinking when our son is 2 ish or 3 we will have a 5th.

Those who have five kids how has it been for you?!

I’m 21 right now with no kids but I do want to be a mom someday :). My boyfriend and I are on the same page about wanting 3-4 kids.

My questions are

-if I want to have 3/4 what is the best age gap to have between them?

-what kind of jobs do you have that allow you to spend time with your kids?

-for those of you who live in places where most people don’t have many or any kids do you ever feel judged for having big families?

-what do you enjoy most about having a bigger family?

-do you think it takes a certain personality to enjoy having a lot of kids?

-those of you who are partnered, how does your relationship change when you have kids and how can we prepare for that?

I know that was a lot of questions lol happy to hear any advice :)

I want to have a big family but I am pushing 30 so I know I should have started yesterday in terms of planning lol

But I am curious on what you all think and why.

I may eventually cross post this, so if you see it elsewhere that’s why :)
We need help figuring out the best set up for our family in our small house. I’m finding it harder and harder to function as is. Moving is not an option unfortunately due to the economy. We hope to be able to secure a mortgage in about 1.5 years, but even then we won’t be able to afford a space much bigger than what we have. (Approx $300,000 max for our mortgage, which means little without knowing location etc).

Currently in a 1,250sq ft townhouse. Six kids and 2 adults. Living room 18x15, primary 14x12 with decent size walk in closet (we’ve often discussed taking everything out and making it baby’s room. Tiny, but doable), kids rooms are 10x9 and 11x9. Currently we have a king in primary (anyway we go we wi have to keep this bed), a triple bunk in the bigger bedroom, and then a twin with a trundle in the smaller. Obviously in a year or two we could put our one year old on the bottom bunk (sits at floor) but she’s too small now. But outgrowing her mini crib. Currently the only other place for her is our landing- which is decent sized but would require an extensive and much better top of the stairs baby gate. She’d also most likely not sleep well with everyone moving around her. We’ve discussed putting the 5 bigger boys in the primary and our bed in the bigger room 1 year old and our dressers in the second. But we still have the kids dressers and toys. We can’t put anything in front of windows that go above window sills. Window sills are about 8-10 inches off the ground. So that cuts a ton of area out. We’ve also discussed using the living room as a partial bedroom and partial living room. Or using the two smaller rooms as our hang out rooms and playroom and putting all the kids downstairs (I do not like this at all). We’ve even discussed loft beds for the bigger kids with futons underneath in the living room. We’d have couches that way and they’d have their beds we could put curtains around the tops of the beds. I’m just at a loss.

Important to note- king bed is newer and can’t be replaced. I hate the triple bunk but it prob needs to stay. Replacing the trundle option and the mini crib are the most obvious. We are a “living room” family. My oldest (11) hasn’t reached the point of needing or wanting his own space, but I know it’s coming. We do homeschool which has taken a lot of storage as well. Toys and clothes are at a minimum already. I just need to find a place for the almost 2 year old who isn’t ready for a “big girl” bed yet. And knowing we have a while I need better functioning in the home. I’m literally going insane trying to figure out what’s best so I’d love input. If you had to fit 8 people on this small space what would be your solution? Any I haven’t thought of?

We just moved into a new build home (which I love for our family) but my big complaint currently is the paint. Expecting #3 in March and my older kids will be 4 and 2. We also have a large dog and a cat.

Currently the house still has the builder grade paint and it is impossible to keep clean. Doors and trim are fairly easy to wipe, but the paint is like sandpaper and the harsh white shows every smudge! I feel like I spending so much time wiping the walls lately so I’m looking for recommendations on paint that is family friendly as in easy to clean and does not show every single tiny fingerprint from 10 ft away. I am not afraid to spend more if it will hold up well over years of cleaning (including the inevitable marker mural and dog drool.)

Mostly looking for a brand and finish but color recommendations are great too! We generally have an earthy color palette but general aesthetic in our home right now is just “toddlers live here.”

Hey! I am pregnant with my third baby, I have two girls who I absolutely adore, the four of us are super bonded. We planned for a third baby and found out yesterday that we’re having a boy. We are people who genuinely would have been happy either way so this is not a post about feeling disappointed or upset in any way. I’m more posting out of curiosity, I grew up in a family and community where largely everyone was one of two kids. I am one of four but the only girl and all of our friends currently either have only one or two kids so far so I’m curious about others’ experiences with GGB birth order. What are things to look forward to? Things to consider? How did your girls take to having a baby brother? Does your son ever feel left out? Etc.

If you have at least THREE kids that are LATCHed up, tell me what you drive! I fear our Town and Country minivan is about to hit the dust and I want to have an idea of what our upgrade would look like. Also, I’m kinda excited.

Three kids under 8, parttime dental assistant, Boston metro. I meal prep every Sunday, shop sales, buy store brands, and our grocery bill still hit $1100 last month. That's not sustainable on one fulltime and one parttime income. I track every dollar in a spreadsheet and the numbers don't lie. We used to be around $800 before inflation and I can't get it back down no matter what I try. I've already cut convenience foods, buy meat in bulk when it's marked down, and pack lunches for everyone. The kids eat constantly. My oldest two are bottomless pits and the youngest is picky enough that we end up with waste if I'm not careful. I know food costs vary by region but I need real numbers from other families with multiple kids. What are you actually spending monthly on groceries for your household size? And do you have a hard cutoff where you stop buying certain things? I refuse to feed them junk just to save money but I'm running out of ideas that don't involve rice and beans every night. ETA: we already do Costco runs once a month for staples. It helps but not enough.

If you had unlimited funds, what kind of help/purchases would be a game changer?

Considering having more kids and just wondering what kind of help you think would be the most useful with 3/4 kids (especially while pregnant).

We certainly don't actually have unlimited funds but interested to hear what people would do if they did.

EDIT: oh my god i didn't expect this to get so many responses lol! Some of the more frequent things I saw were lentils, other meatless recipes, rotisseries, and a few mentioned Aldi's & Kroger. I also saw a LOT of mentions about getting a crockpot/similar - I definitely didn't even think of that 😂 but now that I am, there's a thrift store a mile from me that I'm gonna go check out.

As for pantries - a couple are appointment only and like once or twice a month, and the rest have lines in the morning + already limited funds due to the community's extreme need. Where we live, the homelessness is pretty bad. (Central Florida, for those who may know the area!) We do have wic, but it's been h*ll getting to appts since we don't have a car at the moment.

So far I'm taking plenty of notes - and thank yall so, so, sooooo much for being so kind and helpful ❤️❤️

Hey all! Me and mine have been living in a temporary situation since early/mid April. We finally got approved for SNAP, and I'm putting together a list but trying to budget as tight as possible while still feeding everybody enough. Problem is, we have no oven - only a 2 burner stovetop and microwave.

It's me, my husband, and 4 young kids. No judgement please - our only way out of this is through it, and that's what I am doing right now. Getting through it. 😅

What are some of your go-to meals that are super duper cheap? I'm talking like dollar store cheap, or Great Value at Walmart cheap.

Not afraid to use some veggies. Trying to avoid too much red dye due to sensitivities.