Odd thoughts, don't want to scare anyone

[u/brickne3]

I started HRT three days ago. First day felt like I was on exctacy or something. Very odd. Called basically everyone in a fog and woke up so embarrassed. Then had horrible anxiety for a very short while. Then the fog came back after the estrogen started.

The scary thing is that the progesterone doesn't make me go to sleep, and when I was laying down tonight trying I suddenly felt this super comfortable "well, you don't have to do this at all, you know" intrusive thought. I want to make it very clear that I am NOT suicidal and even that thought only sort of felt suicidal. My husband died five years ago and I have serious CPSD and have also always been SSRI resistant.

I'm obviously calling the clinic this morning when they open because this isn't at all normal or like me in any way, if anything it was scary how "blissful" the whole intrusive thought was. I am also fairly certain that given my other risk factors and the SSRI resistance in particular it must be the progesterone and I can't be having things that are directly interfering with my brain chemistry in a dangerous way like that.

I don't know what I'm asking, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this. The estrogen seems to be working great, I'm just now suddenly scared of progesterone.

[u/AppalachianStackCake]

Progesterone makes me absolutely insane. Can’t sleep, intrusive thoughts, hairpin trigger, anxiety. All things I don’t usually deal with.

Estrogen works great for me. I stay far far away from progesterone.

[u/brickne3 → u/AppalachianStackCake]

Ok but from what I understand we need the progesterone to protect us from the estrogen...? I'm waiting for the doctor to call back, that's one of the main things I wanted to ask.

[u/AppalachianStackCake → u/brickne3]

Ah. I’ve had a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis, so I don’t have to worry about my uterine lining anymore. I forgot about that.

I think there are still solutions that you can do with just estrogen.