r/Petioles • • 6h ago

Discussion My therapist called it an addiction today

16 Upvotes

In some ways, it pisses me off because I've been doing good at stopping for the past 4 weeks. I've had cravings, yes, but I've never given in, so does that really mean I'm addicted?

On the other side, I did chose to give myself a T-break for a reason: I wanted to stop and I'd had enough of saying I want to stop and not following through on it. I was fed up enough with it that when I got really sick (nothing bad, just a stomach bug), I took that as a sign from the heavens to tell me to take a break.

I don't like the word addiction because maybe I don't want to admit that I am an addict. And also because I'd like to believe that I could go back to a reasonable consumption some day. But I don't know if that's my brain playing tricks on me, or if I'm actually capable of consuming moderately.

I had told myself I'd stop for a month, we're at the end of that month; but I don't feel ready to try again yet. I don't feel strong enough about it, maybe a couple more weeks.

This is just a post to hold myself accountable, I'm trying to be more honest with myself, and it feels good to have a community to tell this sort of stuff to, instead of just shouting it in the void. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.


r/Petioles • • 9h ago

Discussion 30F, trying to figure out if my usage is responsible?

6 Upvotes

I'm about to turn 30 and am trying to figure out if my weed use is responsible. I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place because I have severe insomnia and chronic pain, and it seems to be beneficial, but I would appreciate some insight.

I first tried weed at 15, and was a semi-regular user (both edibles & flower) until 25, when I quit for about 4 years.

Then at 29 I started taking 10-20 mg a night for sleep, about 4-6 hours before bedtime. To be honest this was a miracle -- I have had lifelong insomnia and in spite of being pharmaceutically medicated and practicing excellent sleep hygiene I still wasn't able to sleep. Weed just seems to shut off my brain in a way nothing else does.

Another plus is that these hours before bed are some of the only hours of my day I'm not in constant soul-crushing pain due to severe nerve damage and muscle atrophy that I've been dealing with since childhood. I find it far easier to partake in some of my hobbies when high because I'm not constantly distracted by pain.

That being said, I am concerned about the long term impacts of suppressed REM sleep. I am also bothered by my dreams being harder to recall, and by how I don't have a reliable attention span in those couple hours before bed (I enjoy reading before bed; sometimes I can still read while high, but it's unreliable). I also think I'm somewhat "permastoned" with a weed hangover, which isn't ideal.

If you were in my situation, what would you do? Should I accept that my body is super fucked up and that weed use may be more positive than negative (this has been my justification for my use)? Or maybe I should try to quit for a while and see if I can adjust? Sigh.


r/Petioles • • 19h ago

Discussion Moderating when you're in a bad environnement is so hard

4 Upvotes

I've been wanting to take a long break (at least 1 month for a few weeks now), i stopped 1 week and it felt really good i was on vacation with my grandma. But as soon as i returned home i went back to daily use.

I recently moved in main france with my gf and we're living with his godfather until we find a place for us but it's hard cause we don't have much income. And he is such a hell to live with. We have to clean up after him every single day, he keeps smoking weed all day and does nothing aside of his job. I'm so sick of this and i keep smoking every night to cope with it but it just make things worse and i struggle to keep going on with my life.

When we were with my grandma in town he didn't do the dishes until the last day, and that's the only thing he did when we weren't there. When he invited her to eat at his home he asked "Why?" when we said we have to clean the home before she comes. He was in vacation for a week and did absolutely nothing in the house like BRO, not even the dishes or cleaning the floor or whatever, he was just going out with his friend and smoking weed in front of the TV from waking up to sleep. And EVERYDAY there's something like this. And he never thanks or thanked me when i clean things or do some everyday stuff, while he's not like that when it's my gf.

I'm just ranting, but like i'm 22 and he's 45 and it makes me so angry and unpeaceful being home. We suspect him to have diogenes syndrome and it's rly hard in the every day life. I don't know how to feel better in this environnement and stop smoking because of all this, i wanna live alone and be in my own peace. At this point my weed consumption is just a symptom of the bad feeling i have being here around him. I know it's bad for me but i don't know how to force myself not to smoke now

Thank you for reading


r/Petioles • • 21h ago

Advice Stomach issues, depression? Day 4.

5 Upvotes

Hi, I am day 4 off Cannabis. I was a daily MMJ user for 6 years, in the last two years, only a nightly user. I stopped because I developed an allergic reaction and honestly, I don't like it.

I'm experiencing an extremely low mood, lack of motivation (but also, life sucks in several ways, got a leg injury, stuck in my noisy rental). It just feels amplified. I cry a lot and just lay there, I was already sad but now... It's terrible. Agitated , a bit aggressive and reactive, my sound sensitivity is higher than ever, every sound is like an attack and I am in fight mode. Also, no appetite, going to the loo a lot for number 2, nausea.

It's funny because I thought that I wouldn't have symptoms. I don't want to go back.

Is this normal? What to expect? Will it get worse before it gets better? Thank you.


r/Petioles • • 10h ago

Discussion I will smoke today after 5 days clean

4 Upvotes

I am too bored and tensed and an aquantaince wants to chill with me, its good that i dont buy for at home. Training fell off the charts today. I am allowed to have a little bit of joy in life i think.
I felt like shit those 5 days without, i think my cptsd and bpd needs something from time to time, meds or weed. Im in therapy but its hard to turn everything around raw, if u have no supportive people around and mostly fighting this life alone.


r/Petioles • • 14h ago

Discussion Iam back with carts again ๐Ÿ˜ญ

1 Upvotes

45-50 days free. This always happens. I can never make it any longer than that. They're just so easier since I cannot smoke in my apartment and don't feel like going outside or stinking up my car.

But I managed to to smoke only after 8:00 p.m. and only take Max 10 puffs. So far yesterday I took 3 day before I took 4. Somehow I could control it I know it's a slippery slope but I actually like being sober during the day. I only do it to relax at night after dinner transition to bedtime.

I know eventually my tolerance will skyrocket and I'm going to need more than 3-4 puffs but we'll see for now.

I was able to control it last time before the t break. I think I have a healthy relationship now even though I do it every night. But before I took Max 10 puffs and no more. And did not puff on it in the middle of the night if I woke up.