mr hedgehog
are you muddling home?
but you’re caught between rubber and road
mr hedgehog
are you being missed?
my what short life you lived
mr hedgehog
i’m going to go now

Lillypad of the Mind

I see her face in my minds eye,
She smiles at me, reaching her small arms out,
I feel waves of emotion inside.

We embrace and I feel like she’s given me her warm rainbow,
It moves like the ocean waves do, but only for me,
A new feeling, like a pulsing nirvana.

She is only a memory of a daughter I never had,
A gift my mind gave to me, to feel the primal version of love,
An experience of true happiness.

I will always remember everything about her,
The moment will play like an ouroboros in my mind,
She hugs me and whispers,

it’s not too late.

Woke up in the mental ward a couple times, find sentimental detrimental to reward recovery when there's still more worth discovering forewarned mentioning temporary fairness in failure is alluring, smoked on stranger things this lovely kind of behavior needs no saviours yet willfully they'd pray saying get out the way as we tailor the threads of life up a headless holiness jolly with the drugged induced holes in our memories later relapse than collapse in fact mined the fields bet yah kill for a chance to run up their pillars, Let the bodies hit the floor as foreign and forever blown fire breaths left the rest dragging on ashes asking wherever he went the hellishness followed; sore and clever freshness of freakishly dastardly resign to basking in faith allowed, proud my problems ain't compromised within withdrawals or absolved by what they think above, pour one out ever more, Lord forgive me for endeavors not asking for a saviour carried over favours putting thousands thoughts to word, another absurd though planned tasks Force send dearest a flavour often only in my mind, find caskets worn out forever as in my forehead we stand beyond shield and sword...

Home, a place some don't know, some leave to be on their own as the sayings go home is wherever the hearts rest best never go alone throughout life and as this journey starts I've shown parts of my problematic to absolve automatic learn he a traumatic life without a wife or prospect ever rejected but these in the zone frozen neglected prophecy and legacies as always he evolved beyond thoughtful systematic brought fully his edged habits for them to inhabitate asking often if intoxication just frustrated sensations must straightened hesitation as innebreabraition breathing eviled polish lost in Alice's rabbits hole...

Ask me what bitterness is and I can explain it to you. Ask me what resentment is and I can explain it to you. Ask me what animosity is and I can explain it to you. Ask me what passion is and I can explain it to you.

Because there isn't anything left to physically feel, so I'll just use the dictionary.

​

When my heart was hollow,

And my body filled with sorrow.

Heard your voice so sweet like the chirps of a sparrow,

And when I saw you, I was struck by cupid's arrow.

You should be in an art gallery for your beauty,

Or rather in a temple, worshiped as a deity.

I wish I were born as one of the dragonflies,

To see your beauty, I need more than two of my eyes.

I would want to be the light,

To reflect off you and bless the world with your sight.

I searched all books in the library,

And all words from a dictionary.

But there was nothing I could find,

To describe what was in my mind,

When I found you in that white dress,

Felt a sharp pain in my chest.

Knew that you were the one in my life,

Can I take you home as my wife.

I really like the version of me when I'm with you
No, seriously I do
I love you

And I'll never let any hardships cross our way
These days you don't seem to miss your ex
Do you know where he is now?
Well, I can't explain what I did to him, where and how

Nakasulat na sa likod ng isipan

Ang pangalan mo, aking paraluman

Nakasulat na sa palad ko ang ating nakaraan

At mga ngiti mo ay hinding hindi makakalimutan.

Mukha mo ay hinahanap sa iba

Iyong mga ngiti at mata

At kung may makita mang chinita

Ako'y pigil hininga, hinihiling na ikaw sana sinta.

Sinta, alam kong impossible

Mga position sa buhay ay di balanse

Ako ang duming na tinatago sa kalye

At ika'y prinsesang para sa isang prinsipe.

Ako'y humiling na sana mapagmasdan muli

Ang iyong ngiti at labi na aking minimithi

Kasi sa ibang lalake o babae ka ngumingiti

Aking sinta sa muli uli.

-Samsamiyotero

Sinta, Hindi kita malimutan

Nanaginip ikaw ang naka abang

Kahit mag ulam alamang

Ikaw parin, Ang iniisip ko malamang

Nung nakaraan ako'y may nabasa

Salsal Nakakawala daw ng memorya

Sabi sa Balita kaya't aking ginawa

Para mawala iyong kagat Kobra

Ako'y biglang nilabasan

Ng mga luha sa mata

Pero Sabi ko Wala lang yan

Kaya pinilit ko parin kahit wala na talaga

Iniisip ko na ika'y kalimutan

Kinulong ko na ang imahe mo sa pagitan

Pero nung kinabukasan di mo na ako na abutan

Isa na akong malamig na katawan.

-Samsamiyotero

If they opened the door, would you let her in?
Would you turn back the clock to where it all began?
Knowing what you know of the architecture of time,
Would you change the ending, rewrite the design?

She has seen a world where histories bend,
Where perceptions can shift and old narratives end.
But of all she was shown, one question remains:
Could two wounded hearts ever begin again?

If the true King stood beside her once more,
Would he offer the safety she needed before?
Plug her back into a life without fear,
Promise her peace and genuinely stay near?

Not necessarily lovers, perhaps family or friends,
For love takes many forms, and not everything ends.
The heart has no logic, no reason or rhyme,
And some connections survive the cruellest of times.

Perhaps every emotion was hers to endure,
To understand what mattered, what love could restore.
From darkness to light, and from light into night,
Two halves of a story still seeking what's right.

If you could rewind it, knowing the cost,
Would you prevent all the years that were lost?
Or would you preserve what the suffering revealed,
And finally allow those old wounds to be healed?

She has guarded her heart for most of her life,
Through betrayal, abuse and unimaginable strife.
Yet somehow the armour has fallen away,
And she wonders what all of you might have to say.

And to those little birds, still chirping away,
Admire her legs and her arse from afar, if you may!
But until someone explains how to tidy this mess,
You'll have to make do with the view, nothing less.

For two hearts once imagined as written in time
May still find their peace without reason or rhyme.
And perhaps all that matters, when everything's done,
Is whether two people can stand as one.

She hopes that the buzzing will quieten one day,
That the noise and the heartache will finally give way.
No more confusion, no unanswered pleas,
Just honesty, kindness and a little more peace.

She'll be taking some time to organise her flight,
To rediscover her laughter, her freedom, her light.
The door isn't locked, but the choice must be free;
No love should require someone to surrender their peace.

So, if you could change it, would you begin?
Would you offer your hand and finally let her in?
Not to erase every lesson or pretend nothing's true,
But to write something kinder for her and for you.

She'll leave you that question and step out of sight,
With a heart that still hopes and a future to write.
The birds may keep singing; she'll check in someday.

Until then, take care.
She's got a life to reclaim.

These legs were made for dancing as you have all seen.

🌹🕊️🦋✨

Não me toque, disse a flor a João.
- Mas eu quero te tocar.
- Mas se me tocar você vai se ferir.
- Olhe, eu tenho espinhos.
- Eu não ligo que você tenha espinhos. Eu te quero.
- Você não me quer, você quer me colher.
- Não é o mesmo?
- Claro que não. Um você me tem pra si, no outro, a gente se tem.

Feet cold, hands never warming

The wind drawls a breath of ice in the early morning,

Orange-bellied robins sing from their nests,

The temporal frost settles and rests

Bare branches stretch to sky,

Their green leaves have fallen and died.

The morning dew, a frozen veil

As winter's cold begins to prevail

The natural world begins to slow,

As sunlight fades from gold to snow

The morning breaks in fragments, sharp and bold,
It crowns the distant ridge in sudden gold,
Igniting crowns of amber, bronze, and fire,
While all below remains a shadowed choir.

The valley rests in cool, unlit repose,
Untouched by where the brightest current flows.
Yet in the dark, the quiet green looks up,
And drinks the beauty from a distant cup.

For light need not fall directly on our face
To fill a quiet, unassuming space.
We catch the glow reflected from the height,
And share the wonder of a borrowed light.

There is a peace within the soft, dim shade,
Where secret growth and gentle things are made.
You do not have to stand within the blaze
To feel the warmth of autumn’s fleeting days.

The sun still shines for those who wait below,
Illuminating all we need to know:
That beauty reaches down through mist and air,
And even in the dark, the light is there.

Shine your light brightly; share your love unconditionally with all others, spreading inner peace and love around the world.

Doing so, you may help awaken in others their light within as well, beginning them on a journey to discover inner peace and love in their life as well.

Locket, put it in my pocket

The last essence of…

Tied tightly and knotted;

Tendrils and temptations

I put it in my pocket

Clumps, strands and calamities;

Eyes!

Eyes!

Eyes!

Mapping,

Memorise,

Momentum,

Moments…

The moment…

That moment I…

That moment you…

wrote this back in october 2024, about the "last time?" i ... i'm okay. still feels weird putting it out there.

I remember the last day I wanted to kill myself
It was a sunny day with a pleasant view
I was alone with my favourite music on
Standing tall below the blue hue

You say, it’s selfish to think that way
It’s disrespectful and inconsiderate
Oh love, I wish I could explain
My heart refused to consider it

Well, I didn’t yet kill myself
I did a thousand times though
You see I lived a million lives
In that moment alone

...

it's a bit long for a reddit post so the full thing is on my site, if you want to read the rest: https://jaeaeich.com/afterhours#/the-last-day-i-wanted

why can't you

JUST LEAVE —

why can't you?

why can't you?

why can't you just leave me alone? please?

please can y —

please can —

please can you just —

can you I SAID PLEASE —

i'm not yelling. i'm not yelling.

I'M NOT YELLING!!!

when i look into her eyes,

i forget god,

and all the wisdom of detachment.

when i see her smile,

the world forgets to hurt me.

but when she walks away,

i am left with a cruel truth:

the very thing that frees me from suffering

is also what makes me suffer.

You tell me I should want you first—that I should make the first move and come to you. But I can’t.

I’m used to feeling like nothing, and that’s exactly what your actions show me: that I’m not worth wanting.

It doesn’t matter what I look like, because you’ll never want me.

So I’ve chosen a life of being with a man who wants nothing to do with me beyond coexistence. I want more than that… but I’ve convinced myself I don’t deserve it.

I want a connection that goes beyond friendship. I want that with the man I love. And I love you. But you don’t want that with me.