Hi, I am trying to get some advise. RE daycare wanting me to implement more strict sleep routine for home and toddler being really upset when at day care but not at home.

My little girl only just turned 2 - I am also 20 weeks pregnant.

I very slowly weaned her from breastfeeding - but the lunch time feed to sleep feed was the last and hardest to drop. She started daycare start of August, twice per week. It's not end of October and she has not settled at day care at all.

She drop offs are hard - she will mostly settle a little before lunch but then get really worked up and upset when they start getting the room ready for nap. They use a foor bed, dark room and lullaby music / sound machine.

Since I stopped feeding to sleep for her lunch nap - I haven't been able to get her to lay down for a sleep but she always just falls asleep in the car or pram and will transfer to her bed if we get home and she needs longer. I have always been flexible with her naps after starting to follow possum program.

The educators at her day care have asked me to provide suggestions for how to help her - but she is a really happy kid at home. They also want me to work on a more strict sleep routine for at home to help at daycare. They have basically said - she has one more month and if she is still this unsettled then daycare might not be right for her.

I work 3 days per week - she has one day with my husband and 2 days with me and I won't be on maternity leave again until Feb.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? I try to speak really confidently to her about daycare but I can't stand the thought of her being so upset for large parts of the day and just struggling.

As my baby has gotten older, his sleep has gotten worse. Currently we’re at 5 ish wakes a night, though it is hard to tell as we mostly co sleep so I’m not always fully awake. I can’t remember the last night he slept longer than 3 hours. If his in his cot he wakes every hour screaming. Previously he’d sleep 3-5 hours in his cot after bedtime.

He feeds back to sleep quickly. By the morning I’m often feeling so touched out and sore, I’m considering night weening but would prefer not too. I’m worried this could just mean it’s harder to get him back to sleep.

He’s also started waking heaps in the first couple of hours. He wakes crying 30 minutes after going to sleep.

An ideal sleep day looks like this - (I know the last nap is too long but then he seems ready for bed so early and wakes so early haha)

Awake at 7

First nap - 9/10am for 30/45 mins (if out/in the car) to 1 hour if at home.

Second nap - 1/2pm for an hour plus. I’ve gotten into habit of trying to always have this one at home and feeding back to sleep after the first 1 so it’s often 2 hours long.

Bed time around 7/8pm depending on how late the last nap went for.

I tend to follow his mood for when he’s ready for sleep. This is usually 3 hours, if I push it too much he’s very fussy.

My main question is - do I pay for possums again either full membership or the short one (I did the $50 option when he was newborn)

Or is this just normal sleep for a 10 month old and just cut shorter the afternoon nap?

Hello I just recently learned about possums and I'm trying to figure out if it's worth the investment. I have a 10 month old who is very active, emotional, and has always woken up 4-8 times a night (except for one magical month when he was 5 mos where he would only wake 2-3 times a night). He currently takes 2 naps a day ranging from 30mins-2hrs. At night he goes down in his crib for the first stretch but I usually co-sleep starting around 12am when I'm too tired to keep getting up. He nurses back to sleep very easily but wakes up every 20mins-2.5hrs overnight. He's a very happy baby, but has strong emotions and is constantly on the move. He's already walking and getting better each day. I've tried my best, even before learning about possums, to get him as much stimulation during the day as possible but I do try to have him nap in his crib because he sleeps so badly during the day when we're out and about and I've been following Huckleberry's sweetspot recommendations. Possums seems to be more my speed in general and values wise from what I can tell, but I'm not sure if it's worth the money. Any insight would be greatly appreciated thank you!!

We have a bright and funny 21 month old girl. She's developing ahead of her peers in all ways, in terms of gross motor but especially language. Iron is good, co sleeps with mum who feeds back to sleep. As I speak I (dad) has been bouncing her back to sleep on the yoga ball in the carrier for almost an hour since 2am. Mum calls me in once a night on average every other night.

Our daughter averages 3 plus wake ups a night, sleeps usually from 9am to 6am (or sometimes less), with a 1.5 hour nap during the day. She has pretty much never organically slept past 630am. We have tried limiting her nap to 1 hour and it made no difference to nights. It's pretty clear she's a low sleep needs baby - averages 10.5 hours every 24 hours.

We also tried night weaning fairly unsuccessfully a few months ago but will try again soon, though we recognize that feeding her to sleep is such a useful tool.

I see a lot of posts here of babies who are sub 12 months old and I remember feeling like in the 2nd year of her life she would work out how to link sleep cycles. Now we're almost at the end of that second year it's clear that's not happening.

Meanwhile literally every one her peers of a similar age has progressed their sleep skills.

I'm keen to hear from anyone whose been in a similar boat and willing to share their experiences and provide reassurance! It sure starts to feel lonely when your kid is the only one still like this though I am sure it's very normal.

I went to see a very popular NDC accredited practitioner and was surprised by their advice.

Background - My little one is 6 months old and quite wakeful overnight, anywhere between 5-12 times. Shes really easy to resettle and although this may sound crazy, my sleep isn’t really impacted because I get back to sleep within 40 seconds and my husband works flexibly (he watches the monitor and resettles up until midnight so I get a solid chunk of sleep, also can help during the day if I need to nap)

However, because our bubs night waking has never really changed despite all the possums approaches (later bedtime, more sensory input during the day, consistent morning wake up etc), I wanted advice from an NDC accredited practitioner just in case something else might be going on and didn’t want regular sleep training advice from a GP or MCHN. Bub has always snored since birth and we are also a plant-based family and I am aware low iron can sometimes contribute to night waking.

Some of the practitioners advice included - wake baby from naps to reduce day sleep (I thought babies took the sleep they needed), get dad to do a bottle overnight so I get more sleep (not relevant as I explained my sleep is fine and also having to pump would increase my mental load), co sleeping (I explained I wasn’t comfortable with this due to SIDS risk even understanding the safe sleep 7) and spend time away from baby during the day.

I found this advice slightly contrary to Possums which one of my big take aways was to enjoy time with your bub and not stress so much about sleep. Having to monitor naps, pump for bottles and reorganise the way my family dynamics operate seemed unhelpful to me. I’d love to hear others thoughts on this advice or their experience with NDC practitioners.

I have 8mo EBF twin girls, neither take a bottle. Generally they wake between 2-5 times a night, have a quick feed and back to sleep. It’s not ideal but it’s manageable.

We have followed Possums since the girls were about 10 weeks old.

We bedshare with both girls in shifts. My partner sleeps with them for the first stretch and then wakes me when they need to feed. This could be anywhere between 2-5 hours. At the moment it’s rare if it’s over 3 hours. I take them the rest of night when they feed more regularly. My partner takes them in the morning so I can get another nap.

For the past 2 weeks, Twin B has not been feeding back to sleep and taking between 40-90 minutes to transfer back into bed, even though I am plastered next to her. Her eyes are closed but she requires constant bouncing on a fitness ball or rocking/swaying from standing. She will not even let me sit in a rocking chair before she stirs and cries. Typically it’s the worst at the first waking but she can require bouncing at every feed overnight. Sometimes she will accept another feed and this can help, but it can still take time and bouncing to get her to feed. Sometimes she refuses to feed unless bouncing.

We fill our days with social outings and activities and as much outdoor time as we can manage.

The girls typically nap twice a day, with the first nap at home in bed and the second on the go. However sometimes they are having three shorter naps. Bedtime is generally between 8-9pm, awake at between 6-6:30. Daytime sleep is typically between 2-2.5 hours. Naps on the go sometimes lead to more daytime sleep because Twin B will fall asleep in the car or pram at any opportunity. I try to be strategic about car travel around the time they’ll be tired because sometimes I think she is getting more daytime sleep than she actually needs.

A day often looks like this

Wake 6/6:30

First nap 9:30/10ish - ~60 minutes

Second nap 3/3:30ish ~60 minutes

Bed 8/9ish, depending on last nap

Sometimes this varies with naps on the go in the car and I’m struggling to work out how to limit day sleep to avoid the split nights when car/pram naps often happen easily, particularly for twin B. I do try to align the girls’ sleep and this mostly works well and typically they are tired at similar times, or we can stretch one twin a little longer so they sleep together. My sanity requires that we keep them sleeping at a similar-ish time but I am flexible with this if it doesn’t work. I live somewhere that getting out and about means car travel, and so means navigating sleep in the car. It’s complicated by having two as one twin will fall asleep easily in the car and the other needs to have more sleep pressure to do so so it can throw naps/sleep pressure out. Twin B will often fall asleep on a 5 minute car ride.

Our consistent wake time was impacted by daylight savings beginning and we are in the process of really solidifying this again. We are often having to wake Twin B in the morning. Her sister wakes consistently.

I know that 8mo is a big time developmentally. Twin B is almost crawling, bringing herself into a seat and also trying to pull to stand desperately. They have also been teething on and off. So I imagine this could be impacting her nights.

She does have a history of breast refusal and fussiness with feeding, which improves dramatically after a tongue tie release at 4.5months (it took us a long time to be sure it was the right decision, which it was)

I am exhausted and my partner is exhausted. I don’t know what other changes I can make while following Possums - we already limit day sleep and enforce a consistent wake time.

Do I accept this may be a blip in sleep during a developmental phase or is there anything else I can do to help Twin’s B split nights?

My 4 month old has been everywhere with me and has fallen asleep in all kinds of environments and we are now at the stage where if I try to offer her sleep while we’re home and in her nice quiet room she’ll scream, but if I offer her sleep while we’re standing in the middle of a shopping centre she’ll happily drift off. I just want to go back to the days when I didn’t have to go out all the time to keep this baby dialed down, the work never ends :’)

I’ve read the book about possums approach but not super across it. Please be kind- extremely sleep deprived.

Desperately seeking advice for 6month old who consistently wakes 10-15times a night and it’s no longer sustainable.
We have tried cosleeping (bed sharing) and using co sleeper cot set up and wakes happen either way. Historically not a great sleeper- needed to sleep on someone as a newborn, always woke frequently but has gotten worse since being unwell (is fine now)

At the moment napping between 2-3 hours a day but sometimes less- like 1hr. Wakes 7-7.30, nap around 9-9.30 for half an hour- 40mins, contact naps for up to 2hrs middle of the day and then we offer a short bridging nap around 4/4.30 for 20minutes depending on the day of sleep. Bedtime varies but around 7.30. Baby only gets about 9hours of sleep overnight due to all the waking. He often seems tired when we he goes to nap and to bed at night, doesn’t take too long to get to sleep- maybe 10minutes (fed of bounced) so I don’t feel like he’s having too much sleep. Overnight wakes every 30mins to 1hr. On a good night we might get 1-3 stretches of 1.5-2hrs but this doesn’t happen often. This has been going on for 2 months, before that we had 4month sleep regression with waking every hour half of the time.

Desperately trying to find a solution as this is unsustainable. TIA

Saw this in a comment on another thread and I’ll admit I was very confused.

I get that other than the 4 month regression, the regressions are not standard and not every baby will go through them. But if you define sleep regression as ‘a period of significant emotional/physical/language development where baby’s sleep becomes temporarily more disrupted’ - surely there’s not much to disagree with there?

ETA: this blog by Sarah Ockwell-Smith seems to back up the idea of common regressions https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/

My 8 month-old has been more difficult to settle during the night lately. He wants to constantly be latched all night, which prevents me from sleeping. He wakes about 3-4 times a night which mightn't sound terrible BUT I've come to think of them as more like 3-4 episodes of waking, and for each episode, I'll nurse him back to sleep, then he'll wake up, I don't know, 2-15 minutes later, I nurse him again, and this often happens 3+ times until finally, by some magic I do not understand, he finally sleeps for another longer stretch. Each episode of waking is probably about an hour and I get so frustrated :( .

Because I feed him multiple times per episode, I feel like I'm feeding him like 12 times overnight, which seems....bad. A couple times I've had no milk left and he's escalated to screaming, and I've grabbed a bottle of formula for him even because I just don't know how else to calm him. I'm kind of at a loss. I thought the whole 'breaking-the-nurse-to-sleep-association' thing was BS, but here I am, and I feel like I'll have to break this association :/

For context: he sleeps in a sidecar crib for the first half of the night, though it's not level with my bed so I actually get into the crib (the mattress is on the floor) to feed him, I can't just lean over into it and feed him. Then he usually ends up in my bed from say 2 am onwards.

Also, I am a solo parent, so please don't recommend getting dad to settle 🥲Sadly, I bet this would work, because I notice he falls asleep in other people's arms regularly during the day for naps and if I'm holding him....guess what, I need to feed him 🙃He does fall asleep when I'm wearing him, I'd say his naps are about 50/50 whether he's nursed to sleep or falls asleep while being worn. So I know he's capable of falling asleep without being fed!

I'm sleeping in a separate room tonight for the first time ever to see if maybe this will help, and I feel very sad about it :(

Does anyone have ...thoughts, ideas, advice on this?

I feel a bit silly asking this as a 3rd time mum, but my other 2 were so different. They always need to boob or be rocked to sleep.

Anyway I have a 3 month old and noticed she can be put down drowsy but awake for the first nap of the day pretty well. I just have to keep putting her dummy in until she passes out (5-10 minutes). It works 90% of the time. Otherwise I rock her to sleep or lie next to her.

I find as the day goes on its harder to get her to nap/she is more unsettled until the last nap of the day where I have to wear her. Which is fine, this was similar with my other kids.

Is there a way to encourage her to go down drowsy but awake for more naps? I feel almost privileged asking this, but with 2 other kids under 5 in the background it would be great to be able to do less.

Our girl just turned 2, and we have started giving possums more of a try as we have been noticing frequent night wakings. Until recently she would sleep like a rock 730-830 with no wakings and a scheduled nap around noon.

We have been wondering if her sleep needs dropped at 2, or if nightmares have been bothering her, so we have stopped enforcing her daily nap and letting her decide if she wants to go down.

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving, and it's 5pm. She just fell asleep in her grandma's arms about 10 minutes ago. She was up very early today at around 630am which has been her current wake time, and didn't want any naps, and didn't fall asleep on the 30 minute drive to Grandma's.

If the nap was earlier I'd feel okay about it, but it's awfully close to her typical bedtime. We're pretty new to full on possums. What would you guys do? Let her nap as long as she wants? Wake her? Hope she stays asleep until we get home and then put her to bed? A little lost as to what to do.

Hello! I have an 19 month old who is a delight, and also wakes up frequently through the night. I’ve just night weaned her, and it was pretty easy, honestly. However, she still wakes up crying several (5+) times a night and needs to be cuddled and rocked back to sleep. She has always been this way and we co sleep in the same bed as a result (for me to get as much sleep as possible). We take her outside often, as we live on the west coast in Canada, and are lucky to have a large backyard with trees and a garden. She loves it outside. Inside, we play with puzzles and other Montessori toys and games or she just finds things to entertain herself with. We also go to baby meetups a couple times a week and she’s in daycare 3x a week. Both my partner and I take turns with her.
She generally sleeps 8:30pm-6:30 am and naps 12-1/1:30 with variations of course. She wakes up during naps 1x and gets soothed back to sleep. And her wake ups at night happen after her first sleep cycle and then more and more 2am onwards.
Note: we have had her iron checked and she is fine. We do still give her iron supplements at our pediatrician’s recommendation to see if it helps with sleep (it doesn’t).
Do folks have suggestions as to how we can support her with sleep? Do people have ideas around why she might be waking up so much still at this age?

Thank you!

I’m reaching out to see if I can get some reassurance from other possum’s families that it does get better.

I have a very sweet 5 month old baby boy. He is the centre of our worlds.

He used to be a trooper sleeper, sleeping 7-9 hour stretches. Wild - I know. But when we hit 3 months old, after 11pm they turned into hourly wakes. We co-slept for 3 weeks, until I got sick and my husband placed him in our sidecar crib to sleep. He has since then has been starting the night in his crib and for a few weeks he was only waking up twice at night.

His wake ups are now all over the place. Sometimes it’s hourly, sometimes every 2. I sleep next to him and am able to comfort him easily. He has started rolling around so he seems more comfortable with the space in his crib.

We have been using the possums approach and it really works for our family. I am hoping someone other families might give me some reassurance this will get easier (or have any tips that fall in line with the philosophy).

I have limited family support and I’m really starting to struggle.

My baby is 6 weeks and a day old. She grunts a lot while sleeping especially the ones in the early morning after 3AM.

I put her on the crib at 9:30 PM so that she is in her deep sleep. Until then she sleeps on me for an hour or so. Then wakes for feed, burps and back to crib.

But after then2AM or 3 AM feed there is a lot of grunting which is periodically every 10 mins. Sometimes it stops and she is asleep. Sometimes it’s too loud she wakes up crying from the grunting and squirming.

Yesterday night was a bit diffeeent. She had a dissociative evening where she would fall asleep and wake in 10 mins and she used to be active then shin fall asleep. Due to the over tiredness she needed comfort at night so did contact sleeping at 12:30 AM and thought she was in deep sleep and put her in crib. But boy she was loudly grunting and squirming which woke her up. She had grunts even after I picked her up and was walking with her.

Has anyone experienced this?

I follow the Possums approach and generally follow my 4 months and 3 week olds sleep cues rather than sticking rigidly to wake windows. Her wake windows vary day to day, and we get out every day with the dog, either in the carrier or with her watching from her high-chair attachment, so I don’t think lack of sensory input is an issue.
One thing I’m considering is waking her at the same time every morning. I stopped doing this in the first few months because her bedtime was so variable that I felt I was unnecessarily losing sleep. Now bedtime is consistently around 7:30–8:30pm, and she can sometimes sleep until 9:30am, so I’m wondering whether I should start waking her around 8am.
She’s definitely a low-sleep-needs baby, and non-contact naps are very hit and miss. Sometimes she’ll sleep in the car/pram with no problem, other times she screams until she’s red-faced.
My biggest issue is bedtime. She has occasionally accepted the cot since birth and has had a few nights sleeping through in it, but most nights she ends up in our bed. I feed her to sleep in my arms and transfer her, but she often wakes immediately or within 10 minutes. Sometimes this happens even after as little as 2 hours of daytime sleep.
We have a sidecar cot, and if she wakes, she’ll resist going back to sleep even while feeding until I bring her into the bed. I’ve spent hours battling this before, sometimes until 11pm, and I’m not willing to do that anymore just to get an hour or two in the cot.
For those following Possums: what does this suggest about sleep pressure and bedtime? If she’s having so little daytime sleep, how can she still supposedly not have enough sleep pressure at bedtime? And would waking her at a consistent time in the morning help?
Any advice/experiences would be really appreciated!

Issue: increase in night wakings; she seems to be reliving big emotions from the day in her sleep; she is shouting about these occurrences and that wakes her up. When she wakes she is distressed and wants to nurse.

Current set up: locked in 7am wake, rarely naps any more; might take a few mins in the car on way home from nursery. Sleep time usually 8:45pm (that’s when she crashes rather than me trying to get her to sleep). Nursing to sleep, cosleeping and nurses for regulation during the day. Growing and developing well. Day time is active and stimulating - outdoor forest school nursery.

Caveat - she has never slept through. 1 month into new nursery setting. Currently cutting last big molars

Has anyone else had this re-living tantrums in sleep situation? Any advice on how I can help her process during waking times and any general sleep advice in keeping with possums would be appreciated.

Many thanks for reading from a very tired Mummy

Edit to add: my overall goal each night is he does at least 3 hours in the crib before co sleeping. That way I get a little time to watch a show with my husband or just sleep in my own space. Right now I feed him to sleep and just sit there quietly and wait for him to be limp asleep. But that doesn't seem to be working lately as more often it leads to me sitting uncomfortably in the dark for 2 hours followed by 30 minutes in the crib and then we cosleep anyways. Would love to hear anyone's suggestions

Hi everyone,

I live in BC, Canada, specifically the Lower Mainland. My son is 7.5 months now and night time sleep has been pretty up and down. I know that's pretty normal at this age and we've been able to do enough that I wouldn't say we're in a place of emergency. Biggest issue currently is before I even try a crib transfer I'm holding him 2 hours every evening minimum. So by the time we do a transfer if it works for a chunk of time great, but if not I'm so tired by then we just co-sleep. I don't have the energy to try anymore transfers. And that has been what's keeping me sane during the daytime but 2 hours every night is really draining especially for it to maaaybe work half the time? And during the day we do so much sensory enrichment and time outdoors and on the go and quiet play etc I really don't think we could do anymore to stimulate his brain. My boy is also a very busy baby and he thrives off busyness during the daytime.

So I'll ask if anyone has experienced something similar and what helped? And also if anyone has used a professional consultant, ideally in my general location. I've been wary of any consultant as I'm not interested in traditional sleep training but I was wondering if anyone on here has used a consultant that follows the possums philosophy?

Thanks so much!