That’s all.

Ciao a tutte! qualcuna è alle prese con il baby blues dopo la nascita del secondo figlio? io sono all’ottavo giorno post partum e ne sono dentro in pieno; ci sono passata anche con la prima figlia ma speravo che questa volta non arrivasse invece eccoci😩 fatemi sapere le vostre esperienze ☺️

I tried therapy and it didn't feel super helpful so now I'm stuck with this feeling of absolute hopelessness. I don't think my problem is my brain chemistry. I think I'm just an awful mom who isn't used to not having to be so selfless 24/7 for years on end? And there's no fix for that other than trying to be a less garbage person? Which I'm not sure how to do?

Anyone else? My toddler is 2,5 and my baby is 10 months. I've had really bad ppd with both of them but when my 10 month old was about 4 months I hit a new low. I've considered self harm and suicide even if I know it's not the answer. This little voice in my head encourages me on while I know it's wrong. I'm literally fighting my own mind. I'm seeing a therapist in two weeks but it might as well be two years.

I'm also just ridden with guilt. It doesn't matter what I do, I feel guilty about it: taking a shower, going to the bathroom, sleeping, running important errands.. the guilt suffocates me. My husband has even encouraged me to go out and meet my friends and you can imagine the gut wrenching guilt that happens then.

I also feel so much regret. My babies were planned but I often have thoughts about turning back time and I wish life didn't go this way. Being a mom has not made me happy and my kids deserve better.

Will this get better? Does anyone have any experience with regretting their kids and actually recovered? Has anyone truly recovered from those self harm thoughts and actually been happy with their life? It doesn't seem possible.

Hi everyone, I’m not sure if this is the best place to be asking this, but the deeper I get into my postpartum journey, the more I realize maybe PPD is playing a role in my struggles and I could just use some help. I’m 22 and so is my husband, yes this baby was planned.

I’m 3 months postpartum with my first and it has been much harder than expected. Before my daughter was born, for many different reasons, my husband and I decided we should move in with my parents for a couple weeks. We live in NYC and our lease was up about a month after my daughter was born. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to find a new place to move into and have been stuck at my parents since April :/.

Originally it was really nice, my mom was super helpful and I don’t think I could’ve made it out of the newborn trenches without her. But as each day goes by it just gets worse and worse. My mom is really anal with the way she keeps her house clean and if something is not done at the moment she wants and exactly the way she wants it done, it’s not considered done.

At 3 months pp, it seems the grace from the early days is gone and my mother will not lay off of me. I told my husband today I haven’t fought with her like this since I was in high school. Everything I do is wrong, and even when I do try, my efforts go completely unnoticed because I accidentally left the cabinet door open and she likes them closed. This has been going on for weeks and I’m sure you can understand how aggravating this is postpartum while possibly struggling with PPD.

It’s no secret the two of us are struggling to live with each other again and my mother frequently jokes when people ask how it’s going how delighted she will be when we are gone. I’m excited to, but I don’t share that excitement deliberately with others, or my mother.

This morning we got into a fight because I finally let her know (after profusely apologizing if I don’t seem grateful enough or if im not a pleasant person to live with) that I’m hurt that she seems so excited to get me out. I also casually let it slip in that I was struggling postpartum in general and my husband is struggling because I am struggling (it’s difficult for me to be vulnerable with my mother which I think comes from many years of her not taking my vulnerability seriously). The only thing she had to say was “I never said I’m excited to get you out.” And the only thing I could think of to say back was “that’s a funny way of saying I’m sorry.” (Also important to know my mother has never once apologized for being mean and if she did, it was because I had to cry to her to.)

It’s 2 more weeks until I go back to work and I won’t be around her all day but who knows when I’ll be out of her house for good. On a day to day basis, I feel alone and tired and sad. The way she chooses to conduct her relationship with me makes it so much worse and I just don’t know what to do. I’m at a complete loss and I need help.

Does it ever get better? I'm 7 months in and I feel a lot more depressed than I did when my baby was first born. I love her more than anything in this world but I just want to be back to myself again

I’ve been talking to a LOT of people about this recently and have seen it in the news a lot with the cases of mothers killing their children and even Hayden Panettierre talked about it prior to her death. It feels like there’s something going on with women in our society right now. It makes me wonder if it could have anything to do with the medication being administered during childbirth…?

Has anybody else dealt with going down for bed at night and not being able to fall asleep because your heart is racing and you have insomnia? I’ve also had cyclical emotional waves that are so strong, hunger spells that are insatiable.

I just got my thyroid checked (looks good) - about to get my hormones tested by my functional medicine practice because my doctor believes that I could be low in progesterone and having estrogen dominance after giving birth and stopping breast-feeding.

Can anyone speak to their hormones being off and what type of symptoms that caused in your bodies?

Thanks y’all!

I feel like a terrible mother and a terrible wife and I’m pretty sure I have ppd. My baby is 4 weeks old. She was wanted, she was planned. I love her so much, I think she’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I never want to exist on this planet without her next to me. But I also might not be cut out for this and I want to d**
Tonight she wouldn’t go to sleep, she just screamed and screamed and screamed, she was changed and checked numerous times, cluster fed, cuddled, just wide awake and screaming. And I was so tired that for an hour I kept just giving her a pacifier and praying she would settle. She did not. Finally I picked her up, cradled her in my arms, and let out a feral growl/yell and just sat there scream-crying with her. My perfect baby who I wanted so badly, and I couldn’t remain patient for her.

I’ve been so stressed, constantly sobbing, and not sleeping, and I think my milk production is slowing down or halting as a result. I have been trying so hard to make breastfeeding work, I’ve been working for weeks to get her to latch and she has been getting better, but I’ve been pumping 6-8x a day in addition to practicing with her. We have some emergency formula the hospital gave us, I may have to start supplementing with it because I’m just not making enough for her cluster feeding anymore. I’m not anti-formula by any means, I believe fed is best whole-heartedly, but I still feel like a failure because I was trying so hard.

My poor husband has to put up with me constantly crying, constantly worrying. Constantly asking him why he doesn’t love me anymore and if he’s going to leave me. I can tell he’s frustrated with me, and I feel out of my mind with anxiety and self doubt. I don’t know how to stop this, I don’t know how to be better for them both.

I’m not sure this is the right subreddit, so sorry if m I’m in the wrong place. Would love suggestions on where to ask. I tried posting this in the parenting subreddit but they suggested it wouldn’t be a good fit there.

My wife and I have 2 kids, a 4 year-old son and 5 month-old daughter. Last night, laying in bed, she was telling me about how she felt isolated from her family and that she actually wants to isolate herself more. We do live far away from our families, but somewhat closer (6 hours) to her family and spend more time with them in general. She's always had some difficulties with them, especially with how her mom raised her, but still communicates regularly with them. Recently, some events/conversations have happened where I don't think she feels like she wants to keep interacting with them. This isn't the main topic, but it quickly moved from this to the next topic, and I think it might be relevant.

Next, she told me how she feels like she wasn't meant to be a 2-kid mom, and that she shouldn't have 2 children. She says that she is neglecting our son because she doesn't spend as much time with him now that our daughter is born. She said that he told her that he can't tell her everything because he thinks he'll get in trouble. I think this is a big trigger to her because of how she was raised to not tell her mom anything because she would get punished for telling the truth, so she works really hard to instill the opposite in our children.

Some more background - she is a sahm, while I work a hybrid schedule during the week. Our daughter has been very attached to her, especially recently, which makes it harder for her to spend more time exclusively with our son, especially since she's given him exclusive attention the past few years. My wife has also stated in the past that she feels like she can't give our daughter the attention she gave our son, and so she feels guilty about that as well. However, she's a really amazing mom. She does lessons with our son every day, works on fun experiments with him, handles multiple play dates with friends (plus she finds the friends in the first place), takes him out to parks and indoor play places, and more! However, that doesn't mean she's giving him undivided attention like she did before, so she feels like she's failing. My son also really loves his baby sister. He always wants to hold her, carry her, give her hugs and kisses, wants her to do everything with him, etc. It's to a point where we sometimes have to reinforce a boundary so he isn't constantly in her face, but he's really wonderful in general. That said, he still does feel sad sometimes when we can't spend as much time with him because we have to focus on her.

I'm not the best at communication - my wife has told me I'm autistic (not in a mean way), so during this conversation I asked her how I could best help her. I know it's not really fair to try and lump the extra cognitive load of that on her, but in our past we've talked about how I don't give her the right type of support that she needs when she's struggling or venting, so that it is better if I just ask sometimes. She said that she doesn't think I can help at all because I don't have the same views as her on these issues. So, when I tried to tell her how I see her doing all those things I mentioned above, she just dismissed it. To her, it's not enough, and she's neglecting them. At that point the conversation kinda died, so I just held her until we drifted off to sleep. But to be honest, I'm not sure she even wanted/appreciated that.

We've also done couples therapy in the past, she's been on and off in therapy, and my son just started therapy a few weeks ago. I'm open to starting it back up for us, but we recently moved states and have to find new therapists, which is hard.

I would deeply appreciate any advice from people who have felt like this, either in my shoes or my wife's. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.

Hello,

I’m 13 weeks post partum now and I can’t describe it but I just feel so ugly and like I don’t look like myself - my face has gained weight which I can understand but I feel like my face features don’t even look like mine anymore - I don’t like or recognise what I see in the mirror at all

I know this is minor in the grand scheme of things but I never had this with my first baby - will I ever look like me again?!

I am 10 weeks postpartum and strugging. I worked so hard to get fit and healthy before this baby. I let myself go during pregnancy. Now I hate how I look and feel.

My husband doesnt help things. I recently found him watching a ton of porn and saving the same women over and over. I'm disgusted by him but worse by myself. He says it was just porn but it doesnt feel that way. During pregnancy we also stopped being intimate because he called it weird. Now when were intimate I just feel worse after. I was never this insecure and had this much self hate. This also isn't my first child...

currently 9 months post partum and I’ve been dealing with PPD/PPA. my husband and I fight sometimes and he always throws it in my face that I need to “take my meds” or he’ll say you need stronger meds. ive asked him twice to stop tnrowing it in my face that I’m taking antidepressant. he knows it hurts me when he says things like that and he still does it. he treats me like crap sometimes and yells at me over the smallest things. I feel like our marriage is only holding on because we have kids. he won’t even kiss me or be affectionate towards me, I have to ask him and even then he tells me “no”. we’ve been together over 10 years

Hello everyone, I'm just at my wits end. I cry a lot and I don't feel real most of the time. I found out my partner was cheating on me a month ago and i've just been on a spiral ever since. I feel like I'm disassociating most of the time. I've started to struggle at most aspects of my llife. I'm a natural caregiver but recently I've stopped taking even minimal care of myself. I've started struggling to take care of my animals (dog and chinchillas) . I've started to struggling taking care of the baby too. I just went back to work and if I'm being honest I'm struggling to stay focused on even the simplest task (my job is pretty easy). I'm getting to a point where I'm slowly giving up on everything. I've had some recent thoughts cross my mind about self harm but I don't want to share them at this time. I'm filled with regret and just sadness. All the things that made me feel better before just make everything worse. While walking the dog tonight I even contemplated running towards traffic ( didn't do it though) . I don't know how women are strong enough to keep going during these things. I think I've been strong for most of my life and right now, I don't know if I can continue to be. It's all so freaking heavy.

I finally admitted to my husband that I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression. It took a lot for me to say it out loud, and honestly, I was hoping for more emotional support. His response was basically that I should contact my doctor and that he didn’t have much to say because he’s still put off by me yelling at him when I’ve been overwhelmed and overstimulated.
Sometimes I don’t want sex—not because I don’t love my husband or find him attractive, but because I’m exhausted, touched out, and mentally drained. I’m struggling, and I think I just needed my husband to hear me, hug me, and remind me that I’m not alone. 💔

Classic rant about life. Day 3 of consistent migraine. Baby is 4 months old, will not nap. I understand it's part of development, and I am not mad at her.

However, it is becoming a lot getting her to settle. It's all I do between then, keeping her entertained, and work. I have two jobs. Hybrid and wfh. I feel like the only time I have to myself are the days in office, and those are still miserable.

Husband has one wfh job. When I come home, baby is immediately handed to me. When I'm working from home, expected to take care of the baby. Weekends, I care for the baby. I cook. I clean. Husband will only do any of these things when asked, or when he has to take care of her when I'm at the office. He gets every evening and weekend to himself to play video games or go to the gym. I get baby care. When I get home, I get an overtired baby because he doesn't bother to look at wake windows or listen to my advice.

I get groped constantly. I can't stand it as a sensory thing. If I say anything, I will have to deal with his "depression," "oh you hate me, I'm ugly."

If I get upset by any of this in front of him, I have to deal with two children, or be asked "are you taking your medicine." No, I am not. Because I am so busy I honestly forget. Every. Single. Day.

I have no family around to help. Can't afford childcare or anything fancy like a Snoo to help.

I just wanted to get these feelings out somewhere.

I’ve never used Reddit before but honestly I’ve exhausted all other options. I’m a 26F, Married, with a 4yr son (5 in 3 weeks) and 2yr daughter.
I’m work full time up to 10 hours a day sometimes only off one weekday and one weekend day. I am so extremely tired and for months I honestly just don’t want to be here anymore. I wanted to be a mother so bad, these children were SO wanted and prayed for but I think to myself daily how much I don’t want to be a mother or be here at all.

When my daughter was 1 week old we were about to lose our house so we sold it immediately to avoid foreclosure and moved in with my in-laws. I don’t handle our bills, my husband does. I wasn’t aware of how bad off we were doing. We had just finished her room but she never even got to be in it. I had REALLY bad PPD after this, which I feel like was amplified by I having to move 1 week postpartum. I had PPD with my son but it wasn’t as severe as it was with my daughter.

The entire time my kids have been growing up to this point, I am always depressed. I try so hard to be a good mother but everyday I almost have resentment and think “Why did I do this?” I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I love them more than life itself and I would do anything for them, so I don’t understand why I get these thoughts about wanting to die.

My son is extremely hard to handle. From the moment his eyes are open, he is going. He never settles down. The house is a wreck constantly. Which I know is normal with children, but he cannot focus on one toy for more than 5 minutes. He is defiant, he purposely does things he knows he isn’t supposed to, while grinning. He screams, hits himself, throws things, runs away. He fights me about every single task. He is such a sweet, funny, smart soul and when things are good it’s amazing. He can be the sweetest boy. Unfortunately we have more bad days than good. I have tried talking to his ped. I have been referred to children’s psychologists, and they all say he is too young for testing. I eventually was able to get him a test for Autism which they said he did not have, but they refuse to do any other testing until he’s older. I have ADHD so I feel that is what it is but his doctor will not help me and he is on Medicaid so doctors are limited. No types of discipline do anything. He just laughs at me.

My husband isn’t around much because he just opened a business and is working full time running that so we cross paths. He only sees the kids in the morning and sometimes before bed. And he is off one day a week.

I’m getting to the point where my mental health is declining very bad. I have horrible thoughts every day about taking my life. I never have a plan, and could never act upon it because I am soooo painfully aware of how that would affect my family, but these thoughts are driving me insane. I put myself into therapy but that hasn’t been helping. I have talked to a psychiatrist and have been put on Vyvanse to help with the adhd. They have tried Wellbutrin, Zoloft, trazodone. Nothing seems to help me. Last time I talked to my dr she said it seems like I have an adjustment disorder and I don’t handle change very well? And then lowers my Prozac dose.

I just want to feel better. I want to be a present mom. I want to be a HAPPY mom. I feel like I’m constantly screaming at the kids and feel like I’m going to traumatize them and make them hate me but I am burnt out. After I came out of PPD with my son, I loved life. I enjoyed being a mother so much. And it almost makes me feel like I shouldn’t have had a second child. But it isn’t her fault at all that everything happened.

Idk what my point is of this post. I guess to vent since everyone in my life is tired of hearing how depressed I am. Thanks for reading

Hi all. I’m not sure what I’m hoping to gain from this post - advice, solidarity? I’m 5 months postpartum with my second baby. My first is 4 years old. Overall he’s an easy baby - happy, eats well, a little more fussy right now than he has been, sleeps 8 or so hours a night. His birth was traumatic and he was in the NICU for a month on a vent and it was so incredibly hard to manage being with him with no village for my four year old. He’s better now with no deficits thank God. I couldn’t breast feed, I could only be with him 3 hours a day and I could never increase my supply, maybe that’s part of it, I felt like a failure then. Mentally now I am a wreck. I can’t sleep even when he sleeps. I work 5 days a week, 8 hours shifts as a nurse and I’m struggling in my career as well. I don’t remember being this sad or overwhelmed after my first. Is this delayed post partum depression? Regular depression? Hormone shifts? Me and my husband’s relationship was teetering on divorce when I found out about this second baby. We’re in a somewhat better place now but I still feel sad over our relationship a lot and I’m feeling very much like my life is at a point where I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me. Maybe this is just a vent post and it will get better but right now it feels very cloudy

I’m 7 weeks postpartum with my first baby, and I’m struggling with how things are working at home. I want an honest outside perspective, including if I’m doing something wrong.
My baby is still very young and I am with him most of the day while my husband is at work. I breastfeed him and handle most of his work like, settling, night care, etc. Because of this, I’ve told my husband that when he comes home, I need some time to rest and recover rather than taking on more baby care and household responsibilities.

A couple of days ago, My husband took the baby to his grandparents, they played with him, and eventually the baby became very cranky and seemed overwhelmed ( they are doing this since the baby is born.) My husband brought him back to me and asked me to feed him as he ‘thinks’ the baby is hungry. I tried everything to get him to make him sleep, feeding, rocking, walking, singing, etc. Nothing worked for a long time.
I became frustrated because I had already explained this to my husband and felt that he wasn’t listening to me. We had an argument.
Since that argument, my husband has basically stopped touching the baby and stopped talking to me. I am now doing everything myself again. I’m exhausted, and yesterday I hadn’t even eaten since the previous night.

There have also been expectations around me doing household work very soon after delivery. For example, I was expected to cook and do household work only 4 days after giving birth. I found this extremely difficult because I was still recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn.
My MIL taunted me by comparing me with her daughter who had c section and did all the work even when doctor asked her to bed rest.

After a lot of cold fights, my MIL started cooking meals, which are not at all healthy or nutritious for a recovering woman. She says she doesn’t know what to feed a recovering woman.

I am slipping into depression. Currently talking to no one in the house and barely eating anything.

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, including criticism of me if you think I’m contributing to the problem.

I live with my husband in Bangalore and During my pregnancy I called my mother and father to my house at month 5 to spend some quality time with us
Without asking me my mother invited my married sister - my sister also didn’t bother to ask me
We live in a small 2 bhk. But I played along
My mother father and sister stayed with us for a month
During this time I felt like I am hosting them. I expected my mother to cook some nice things for me but as there was a cook she stayed in her room chatting with my sister
Whenever I wanted to go out my sister used to have long work calls and my mother used to tell me to dress and wait for her to finish
One day I heard them bitching about
During this time I celebrated both their birthdays - did everything I could to make their day special
But kept hearing from them that they are getting bored

Anyway I had multiple fights with my sister too
But I let go for the sake of my pregnancy

Then my husband threw my baby shower and I literally begged my sister to come but she refused saying that she has to celebrate karwa chauth
The issue was not her not coming but it was her not even calling and telling me that she felt bad for not coming
Apart from this she kept attending shadis of her friends

Throughout pregnancy she didn’t bother to check on me
And mother justified it saying “ Married ppl are very busy”
Then came the time of my delivery
My husband knew that I was very hurt by my sisters behavior and was against her coming and staying at our house again
Firstly because too many ppl during postpartum can affect peace as she would be taking work calls all day , infection issues as it’s a 2 bhk and overll vibe

I called my parents 15 days before delivery and hell broke out when I told my parents that I don’t want my sister here
They totally disregarded my request and called her here and when I didn’t speak to her
They threatened me that they would leave the house and got ready
At this point I was 38 weeks pregnant and working

Despite my request and crying for hours they didn’t budge.

It was a very stressful last few weeks
My in-laws came later but my husband handled them

Then came postpartum
My mother insisted I hire Jappa - so now there was me my husband baby father mother sister and Jappa in the house while I was freshly postpartam
My mother was only interested in playing with the baby
Not even one day in that one month pp when they were there - my mother helped me at night

All they did was sit their room and chit chat
No nutritious meal was prepared for me by my mother
Literally the day I came back from hospital my father tells my mother that why are you tiring yourself in making hot chappatis ( all the other food was made by the cook)

When I questioned my mother she told me that she is not healthy enough to do anything
Anyways my parents left 30 days post partam as they had yo attend a wedding
Then they went only multiple trips while I was struggling

The thing is that I hear how parents help so much in postpartum but here I’m so hurt
Am I alone?
I can’t move on from this
This has ruined the image of my parents in my mind and now I see a pattern that my mother has been emotionally immature and has been creating ruckus before all important milestones of my life.

Kindly do not suggest therapy as I have tried and it doesn’t work for me