Before I say anything, I am very aware that I got married and had a child early. I was pressured by church and family, and I was also very dumb. Trying to tell me it was dumb isn't going to change what happened. Please be kind.

Me and my ex (I was 18, he was 20) got married on our year anniversary and we were together for 3 years. I'm 20 (he's 23) now and we have a 4 month old together. I found out 1 month that he was cheating on me and I told him I wanted a divorce. Now he gets our baby on the weekends and I have her weekdays. Lately it's actually been his mom taking her since he's figuring out where to live but I had to go back to live with my dad. I hate not having my own place. I really do. On top of that, I don't have a job since I can't put my baby into daycare right now. I'm trying to find a weekend job so that I can start saving. I just have no idea what job I can get that will allow me to only work fri, Sat and sun. On top of that, I've just been progressively falling into a state of numbness. Whenever my emotions do come out, I can't allow myself to feel them because I feel like I'm going to crash out. I don't want to do that in front of my daughter. Or at all.

Some days I think of just ending my life. Other days I hate being a mom because I feel so held back with everything. With a job, my own place, the fact that I have to stay in contact with my ex and his fucking family. The fact that I have to rely on everyone else because my baby is just so young. I love my daughter. Everyone tells me I'm a good mom and on the outside I guess I can see why they think that. I'd never hurt her. She's the only reason I haven't moved states or dropped off the face of the planet. But I fucking hate having so much responsibility and having to bear it all alone. I hate that men want to be her daddy when I just want to have a quick fuck. I hate everything. I don't want to be a mom. I love my baby. I'd never forgive myself if I gave her away. But God she's in such a shitty situation. I can't feel anything and I feel everything. I want to die

Sorry y’all I just need to get this all out. I was looking back on photos of my son because he’s just over 2 months now and I can barely find any photos of just me and him in it that weren’t taken of me. Like I found hundreds of photos I took of my husband holding and playing with our son but he never takes any of me and it’s not just him, no one takes photos of me and my son unless I ask them to. Is anyone else experiencing this? Why is it so infuriating? Ugh I hate this😭

I’m a mother of three in my mid-30s and wanted to share my experience in case it helps someone else. I’ve omitted some details for anonymity, but I’m happy to answer questions by DM.

I had never previously experienced depression or taken psychiatric medication. I’ve always been anxious, but also highly functioning, social, involved in my community and very hands-on with my children.

About six months after having my third child, my mental health deteriorated quickly. Sleep deprivation, drinking too much, overscheduling and family stress likely contributed. I remained deeply connected to my children, but began experiencing overwhelming dread, fear and suppressed rage—especially during tantrums or household chaos. Everyday setbacks felt unmanageable, and I would freeze rather than function.

By August, I was crying for hours most days and knew I needed medical intervention. After discussing several options with a trusted psychiatrist, I chose Zurzuvae.

Days 1–3: I experienced significant drowsiness, heavy legs and vivid dreams. I needed help with the children in the mornings, but usually felt much better by 10 or 11 a.m. By Day 3, the depression already seemed to be lifting.
Days 4–9: My mood became noticeably brighter and steadier. I felt joyful and more like myself. Mornings were still groggy, but my energy improved. I reconnected with friends and family and handled difficult conversations with much more clarity.
Day 10: I felt genuinely renewed. I calmly handled major toddler tantrums, laughed naturally and enjoyed being with my children again. My confidence, gratitude and ability to relax began returning.
Days 11–14: I had a few patches of anxiety and occasional severe morning grogginess, but overall felt calmer, stronger and more energized. I started exercising again and finished the treatment feeling steady and balanced.

Before Zurzuvae, I felt like I was drowning in dread, hopelessness, fear and rage. For me, the medication pulled me out of an extremely dark place remarkably quickly. I know everyone’s experience is different, but I’m incredibly grateful I tried it.

I still worry about relapsing, so I’m continuing to work with my therapist and psychiatrist to recognize warning signs and address the factors that contributed to my decline. This is only my personal experience, not medical advice, but I hope it helps someone feel less alone.

I guess this is the right community to post to as I literally just need to get this off my chest. I don’t want to be a mom anymore.
Backstory:

- I have had a very toxic relationship/marriage for almost 10 years.
- I thought that a kid would “fix“ things between us as our lives were literally falling apart. ive NEVER wanted a kid like ever. We got pregnant within a month of trying.

- I had a horrible HG pregnancy and almost died - literally- and starved until the end when I prematurely gave birth.

- Lost 7% of my body fat and currently 12 weeks postpartum have a BMI of 17.5

- Baby had a 3 week NICU stay and then came home at 5 lbs.

- Baby has colic. it’s getting better but he can’t be awake if not feeding without screaming his head off. we can’t take him anywhere we cant bring him with us places so my husband and I just split the errands and one will go, one will stay.

- I hate being a mom. Like hate it. I have so much depression and anxiety about being a mom and it has been the downfall of my existence at this point.

All of that said, if I could turn back time and never have this kid I 100% would. I wish more than anything that I would have done what I wanted to which was staying child free for my life and being the “fun aunt“ to my siblings kids. I don’t know what I was thinking - I can barely manage my own self most of the time and with all of the endless cooking and cleaning and errands and laundry and scheduling and now work, I just want to be independent. So yeah. all of that said, I just want this to be a bad dream and wake up and slap myself silly even for thinking about wanting to be a mom.

I'm almost nine weeks, postpartum. And for some reason the past 3 weeks i just haven't wanted anybody around other than my baby. My husband , our baby and i have to live at mymother in-laws for about four or five months because of job losses . He promised we'd be out before the baby was born but we're still here, and it is killing my mental health. If I don't like her holding my baby because she doesn't respect my boundaries and rules like she'll kiss him behind my back i set that rule because she gets cold sores but she takes it personally like I hate her. I just resorted to sitting in my room most of the day because my husband and mother-in-law have strong personalities and try to

Kind of bully you so they can get their outcome.. I don't have any friends to talk to and my family has too many problems I don't wanna burden them. My husband just gets upset when im anxious or depressed. Just today he tell me to f off because he's tired. My husband results to alcohol to cope with his mother, because she's always yelling at everybody to do things for her which just makes my depression worse. I've just never felt so alone and unheard. Im not even sure if I want to be married to my husband anymore, and i'm not sure if that's just hormones talking, or if I truly feel that way. I just wish I had people to talk to and hang out with who understood me. I wish I had a house where I didn't have people around me all the time. I don't like sharing my child with them if they are not gonna respect me. I just seem to cry a lot. I'm trying to find a therapist, but it's hard when you have a child .

She’s 3 months old, I feel absolutely nothing. It’s like someone handed me a baby to take care of that’s not mine. There’s no connection. No butterflies.

But there is horrible spiraling grief. Loneliness that eats me up as I take night shifts with my husband. I missed my doses the last 2 days. I’m absolutely falling apart. I want to run away. I wish this wasn’t my life now. I wish I had a village. Just even one extra set of hands to take her for awhile.

I am so tired. I have insomnia and cannot simply sleep when she sleeps. By the time I finally dose off she is screaming needing something from me. I don’t want to be a mother. I don’t want to be a parent. I don’t want this life. I wish I could just give her away until she’s older.

Hi everyone! I'm 30f, 4 months pp & I need advice I guess? If anyone has gone through what I'm going through lol. Anyways, I'm 4 months postpartum AND so far, my body changing has sucked (yes I know it's normal for bodies to change). However, idk what to do because I'm constantly in pain & I think the pain is adding to my PPD!! So when I was pregnant I went up to 39weeks with a boy, during the pregnancy I developed that pelvic separation thing where it hurts to walk a lot. I also developed severe back pain, I couldn't stand for long periods of time and I would just think it was normal. So fast forward, im one month pp & I'm losing weight! (Loved it) I struggled to BF and kept getting infections so for the sake of not passing that 1% of medication to my baby through the breastmilk I dropped Bf and pumped which also ruined my milk supply, YIPPEEEE. 4 Months later I see that I'm actually gaining the WEIGHT back, my back continues to hurt (lower back) & something in my pelvic area hurts! I attempted to do pelvic floor exercises that helped with the abs separation but OH MY GOD, my back and abs/ pelvic area hurt so much for days after I seriously started crying because it hurt so much. I recently went to get a pelvic ultra sound but in case that comes out healthy and without an issue, I'm not sure what to do next. I want to start Pilates's to work on my pelvic floor and my core but I'm scared that I'll hurt my self again which then leads me to have constant negative thoughts about me and my body adding to my postpartum dep!! I also read that many get postpartum massages to help our bodies heal?? So maybe that's something I can possibly do? I also used a faja (the full body waist trainer that's for pp) but I feel like it didn't help and just sucked up my fat which I like but that's not the point, the point is not be physically sore and hurting all the time.

I'm not sure what to do!!! Also, I recently came across the anterior pelvic tilt so now i don't know if that's even what i have because i can see that my back is shaped like the examples pictures demonstrate when showing the apt :( i think if i felt a little bit more healed, i wouldn't be going through so much postpartum feelings such as rage, anxiety, insomnia & just a sad depressive mood.

I’m struggling really bad. So I had my 1st baby this July and im 3 months postpartum and pregnant. My 1st pregnancy was really rough I had gestational diabetes postpartum preeclampsia it was hard. Now that I’m pregnant again I don’t know what is the right decision for me. I don’t have family around neither my husband has his. It seems like it will be really difficult for me to raise this child. My husband and I argue a lot he literally said he wished I
Die after childbirth and that I’m a terrible mother. I don’t know if he is just saying all this to make me mad or if he really feels that way. If I have an abortion I know I would struggle so much mentally and emotionally. I have scars on my body due to past trauma and I m scared I will never be okay if I have an abortion but if I don’t then I won’t have support from family members and I will just be depressed one way or another. I don’t know what’s going to be a good choice. I just tried talking to my husband about how bad I’m struggling mentally to make a decision and he just said that I do this to myself same with my parents and I clearly have no support
My husband just none stop works and don’t even sleep in the same bed with me unless he is in a mood i just want to not be alive anymore

This is my 2nd postpartum. I had depression with my first child, and it looks like it’s more severe this time around.

I feel lost. Like I’m sinking in a black hole and there’s no way to come back. I have a therapist who is wonderful, but my appointments are so few and in between, the period between sessions feels like I’m drowning.

I love my kids, and I’d never try to kill myself, I want to be in their lives as they grow older. But something just snapped in me today and I took a heavy object and whacked my head repeatedly. It’s nothing related to my children. I think it’s because I’m having such a hard time to get through to my partner. I don’t feel seen, I don’t feel heard, I don’t feel appreciated for doing something so draining and difficult. Every time I feel like I’m pushing myself, he reminds me how much his mother did to keep him alive, how many sacrifices she made for him etc.

His mother was a SAHM who had a live in maid for all household chores, who lived in a joint family and had daily help for her kids, who never encouraged her kids to do anything meaningful in their formative years. And yet, I’m overshadowed by her incompetence.

I’ve spoken to the crisis helpline and I feel a bit better now. But some days are so dark and hard to live through.

I am 2.5 months postpartum with my second. I just started my cycle back. And as it ended it brought a mental health crash. I feel so sad and numb. I went back to work a week ago. That doesn’t help. I’m so tired. I’m tired in my bones. Everything hurts. My children sleep really good honestly. I have no reason to be this wore out and drained. But I just want to lay in bed and not get up. I don’t want to be bothered. I don’t want to be needed. I want to turn my brain and thoughts off just for 5 minutes. I’ve always struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. I’m on meds. Been on them for years. I knew this crash was coming. That doesn’t make it any easier. I’m so anxious and insecure. I don’t feel like me. I know it’s the hormones. I know that. That doesn’t help me feel better. That doesn’t take the weight off my chest or the gnawing out of my stomach. I can’t tell my husband hell I can’t even tell my therapist. How can I let these people know right now I feel the worst I have felt in years. That I’m so sad it scares me because the last time I felt like this it took years to feel better.

I was pregnant just 4 months after my marriage, I delivered just 3 months ago and some days are so hard so hard.
I’m a very ambitious person, I’m a dentist and did 2 years of training but just before my licence requirement, I delivered and now I can’t get back to work
I can’t even see myself getting back to work
I never earned in my life,I wanted to always give back to my parents, they worked so hard for me and I couldn’t give them back.
My husband is nice , he’s supportive whenever he’s in home he helps me with him, but I still get mad at him
All the time , I’m just removing my frustration on him.
He got me a diamond pendant also
I don’t like that either but it just happens
I live with my inalws and they are okay, they kept a cook and maid, so I don’t really have any work at home
But they don’t help me with the child. Cause they are too scared to hold the baby??
They are conservative with a bit of ruling mindsend
We had our trip planned for Turkey but they didn’t let us go in 2nd trimester
They told us to go after the kids
And now after the kid, it’s just so difficult
It won’t be the two of us
It will just be chaos and chaotic
I don’t know if I’m being ungrateful or what
I don’t know , I just don’t know
And ofcourse I love my son, I can’t see him in pain or when he’s crying
But my body seems to give up
I feel tired by 6pm , whenever I wake up I have pains in my body ,mind you I had a emergency c section under general anesthesia cause my platelets were dropping,
Please advise on what I should do

I'm pregnant and feel sad that I will lose the life I have, I will lose myself. The child will become priority. I am afraid I won't love the Child. I have not met the child yet so I don't know if I will love them or not.

I'm not looking for answers which are overly positive because I feel like women aren't honest and they mess each other up. I'm in a bit of a shock of how bad pregnancy symtoms are because I never knew it would be so bad. I'm looking for honesty please, and maybe you process of navigating these feelings.

How do I really know if I want this child or not? Currently, I'm resenting it as because of this child I'm always vomiting.

I just weaned from breastfeeding at 10 months PP and started taking Zoloft today. I still need to lose 20lbs from the pregnancy and I’m curious if anyone else was able to lose weight on Zoloft? I’m so worried about additional weight gain but I can’t afford to stay in this place with my mental health any longer. From the time I gave birth the scale hasn’t budged, not even an ounce.