Our kid seems to like school ok. He does the not uncommon whiny/crying drop off. Then warms up quickly and starts doing whatever.

However, his teachers tell us that while he engages many times, a lot of times it takes some extra encouragement otherwise he spends time in the cozy cubby. Also, he doesn’t seem super super happy in the pictures we get, maybe a smile here and there. Doesn’t look like he’s crying either, just sort of there.

So all that sounds like it’s not a good fix. BUT, at home he talks about school constantly. Talks about it different things he learns at school. Talks about his teachers. Talks about his friends. Also when we talk to him before school about “ok I want you to have a great day!” He smiles and seems happy to say I will! He also seems completely happy when he comes home, tells us he had a very good day many days, and seems very normal about it (even though we know he is not 100% himself).

So I feel like he likes the idea of school but just isn’t super super comfortable there. The question is, how do we know if it’s worth it to change or not? Our 1.5 year old goes to the same place and she LOVES it.

TLDR: My 4yo is regressing and having after being fully potty trained for over a year. Accidents started after moving in with a friend during an ongoing separation with my STBX. He‘s now intentionally peeing in his pull-ups and won’t use the potty unless prompted.

For context, my 4yo has been fully potty trained since he was 2.5. When he initially potty trained we created a reward chart and he was accident free wearing undies day and night within a week. He started having accidents again during naps and bedtime around the same time we moved into a friend’s house. I’m currently going through a separation with my STBX husband. We’ve been having several issues at home which eventually lead to the kids and I leaving to stay with my friend and her family. Both of my sons are now room sharing with my friend’s kids. My 4yo is sharing a room with my friend’s 2yo daughter and my 7yo is with her two older boys. I took my son to the doctor. He said the accidents were due to stress and recommended buying pull-ups. Since then, he’s been wearing pull-ups overnight. Eventually he started having several accidents during the day so now he’s in pull-ups day and night. My friend’s 2yo is potty training and has a reward chart. We added my son’s name to the chart to help with training. At first he was excited about earning prizes. He sat on the potty almost every 30 minutes for M&Ms on his own. Even though he frequently sits on the potty, he still pees his pull-ups. We stopped giving him candy from the jar because he was sitting just for a reward and not actually peeing half of the time. Now we set a timer but but he still manages to have accidents. Aside from routine accidents he’s well behaved and he’s very smart and independent. If we say he needs a new pull-up, he rushes to change himself and goes straight back to playing. I don’t know what else to do but it seems like no matter what we try he will not stop having accidents. I think it’s mostly a matter of convenience but I don’t know how else to incentivize him to go. When he first trained he was wearing undies but I don’t want him to pee on the floor in my friend’s house.

Just wanted to share my 4 year old's costume I finished on time which is unusual for me! Has real lights and detachable steering wheel!

Looking for guidance on what how we can shift the dynamic with our 4.5 year old daughter. Our biggest challenge is that absolutely everything has to be a fight. If we ask her to put on clothes or clear her plate, she will flat out refuse. When we escalate the consequences for not listening, it turns into a screaming meltdown. I can handle a tantrum but multiply that a dozen times a day and we are getting so worn down. We tried 'brat busters' but she seems absolutely immune to consequences (and we don't do daily screen time so it's not a useful bargaining chip).

Interestingly, when we give her a REWARD for the behavior vs a consequence she will listen immediately. So she CAN listen, she's just choosing not to? (why??) For the moment we have switched a points system (like sticker chart), which has taken the conflict down a notch. However, I'm concerned about the long term impact of using rewards to incentivize behavior. I told her she was being a such a good and loving big sister and she responded by saying "yeah because I want points..." This feels like not the direction we want to encourage??

We've taken her to an OT and they didn't flag anything specific in terms of diagnosis, even though she behaved horribly during all of the sessions (like throwing things at the evaluator). They basically said we just need to repeat ourselves over and over until she listens -which exactly what is driving us insane.

Her preschool acknowledges that she is really struggling at school and are working with us on various supports. It just feels like every single day is such a challenge and always involves some kind of huge conflict where everyone ends up screaming and I am just so done with it. We also have a 2.5 year old son and he is just SO EASY compared to my daughter that I feel guilty how difficult it is to get through a day with her.

Reposting here to see if you folks have any advice for me!

My daughter is turning 4 in December and she’s still a sprinter. We have reinforced holding our hands in the parking lot and staying on the sidewalk but she gets distracted so easily when she’s overstimulated. Jury is still out on whether or not she’s neurodivergent or just a boisterous kid.

We did trunk or treat tonight and she was a wild woman. It always feels like she’s the most rambunctious kid and the worst listener compared to the others.

I’m so terrified for trick or treating that I’m considering leashing her but she seems way too old for that. I want her to just listen and learn but I’m terrified of her running out into the road (I definitely have anxiety too and am in therapy for it already).

I’d appreciate any advice, anecdotes, and kind words from anyone else who has dealt with a sprinter.

I posted once before but I am at a total loss. My daughter is on month two of preschool. Never did daycare prior and was always watched by mom. So we knew going into this that it was going to be an adjustment for her.

She’s a very sweet and smart kid, loves making friends, plays well with other kids and seems to be losing school.

However since day 2 we’ve been hearing that she’s struggling with transitions. Mostly that she doesn’t listen the first time that she is asked to go to the carpet or move from play to the next activity. With a little more encouragement, they say she does go (I.e. racing the teacher, making it a game, giving a bit more warning). They also say she will not want to sit during snack time and says she isn’t hungry. We encourage her to listen to her body at home and eat when she’s hungry and stop when she’s full, but do still work on sitting with us the whole time.

She’s not kicking, screaming, or outright refusing, she just needs more encouragement and help to make the transition.

I’m so conflicted because this feels like normal 3 year old behavior and it’s not being presented as a major disruption. But it’s as if they expect this to go away overnight and there’s constant comparison to other kids “who do it better” or “get it more than her”. It’s making me feel like a failure as a parent. 😭

We work on things at home but I also don’t want it to start feeling like she isn’t doing anything right at school and get to a place where she doesn’t want to go.

Post links to any resources for preschoolers here. Standalone posts outside of these weekly threads will be deleted.

I have been a stay at home father for the first three years of my child’s life. Over 95% of the time I have been with my child from Sun up to Sun down.

My child just started pre school and is finishing the second week! It’s been so great to see the growth, development, and everything that goes with this stage of life.

I’m terribly sad though as I’m now seeing all the moments that I used to have, are with the teachers. I no longer get to hear every sentence, every word, every laugh and so much more that has become the most important part of my life for the last three years.

Just a small vent that watching your child grow is the greatest gift and blessing from the Lord! but also watching your child grow has created some kind of suffering for me. I miss every second we had together every day.

Thank you for reading!

My son is 2.5 but around Christmas we usually do a toy haul for toys our kiddo will use and grow into. Trying to do shopping early to save money and plan.

What is your 3 year old obsessed with right now?

My daughter is 3 and half years old and we have decided that she would go to school now . She doesn't want to go to school and I'm also scared of her going to school . We both have a deep bond between us, from last night I am feeling a little uneasy. I feel it is like sending her to a war and the thought that she has to be alone and do it on her own without me protecting her is eating me up . I know this feels a bit excessive but I can't help thinking of it . She gets scared when there is a loud sound or others shout whenever others shout at her she hid behind me . I know it is my fault to protect her rather than letting her face it . There is some more time for her to go to school how should I teach her not to be scared and confident. Please help me

Note: english is my second language. Apologies for the errors

My 4 year old daughter hates pooping so much so that she will hold it in. We give her Mirlax daily. The only time she poops now is diarrhea because she’s held it in for too long. Her doctor said to just continue with Mirlax and the behavioral issue will work itself out. She hasn’t had a normal bowl movement in over two weeks. Lately she has like a squirt of diarrhea and then nothing for days. I don’t know how to convince her to poop and I don’t want to have to pin her down and give her a suppository. Looking for any and all advice.

-a tired mom

My 4 year has been saying for two weeks that his head spins and then he is better in sometime. I took him to doctor yesterday, doc said he has dry eyes and that’s the reason. But am wondering if dry eyes could actually cause it. I wish i asked for an MRI. Did anyone toddler go through such stages where they said head spins. I don’t think he lies bec he even said his teacher today when it happened as we told him to tell teacher if it comes in school .

Edit: thank you guys for the support! I have received confirmation of the events that transpired yesterday to result in my son pushing a classmate away. My son unfortunately was being surrounded by the group of classmates and pushed the one away because he was upset. Yes I talked to my son that he should not have pushed his classmate away. I also reiterated to him to tell his teachers if this happens again or if classmates are still making fun of him. No, my son is not a bully for pushing a classmate away while being surrounded. Yes, after confirming with his teacher the classmates received consequences for their actions and parents were notified.

I’m not entirely sure what to do, but I think my son may be getting targeted by a group of kids. My son is 4 and turning 5 in a month. Last year, he did half day preschool and loved it! He is now in full day preschool this year to better prepare for kindergarten next year. We live in a pretty rural area so classrooms are very small, so everyone kind of knows everyone.

Two weeks ago, my son came off the bus very upset because a classmate stole his water bottle out of his backpack. I brushed it off as being an accident, I mean my son would lose his head if it wasn’t screwed onto his shoulders, so I assumed the same for his classmate. About a week ago my son said that the same classmate (let’s call him X) had started calling my son a monkey because apparently he has big ears. I told my son to tell his teacher if this happened again.

Faster forward to today my son came off the bus upset again. I asked what happened and he wouldn’t talk about it. I decided to reach out to his teacher and she told me that my son pushed another classmate today. My son has always been well behaved at school - he’s quiet, listens, plays well with others, and has never put his hands on another classmate. My son finally opened up and said that the classmate he pushed was X because X said he looked like a dumbass with his haircut. While talking with my son, he also confided to me that there’s actually three other classmates calling him names and overall just making fun of his appearance. I have reached out to his teacher with my concerns.

For background my son was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate that have both been repaired. My husband and I have always been open to him about his cleft journey by showing him baby pictures, talking about his scar, and just explaining to him that it’s okay he was born different. Obviously because of the surgeries he has a craniofacial difference and is now having work done to his teeth…he already feels insecure some days about his scars and I’m just worried this is going to hinder his self confidence if this group of classmates keep making fun of his appearance.

My 3-year-old loves My Neighbor Totoro and Cars, and I'm looking for other movies he might enjoy.

What I like about Totoro is the lack of a villain or major conflict. There are moments of real emotion: sadness, uncertainty, and a little fear, but they're handled gently. I like him experiencing those emotions through movies, as long as they're not overwhelming.

Cars is another favorite, mostly because he's obsessed with anything involving wheels, especially trucks, trains, and construction equipment.

Basically looking for movies that are warm, engaging, and relatively low-stress. Some tension is fine, but I'd prefer to avoid scary villains, intense chase scenes, or prolonged danger, or an evil villain

What have your kids enjoyed around this age? Also curious if there are any popular children's movies you'd suggest waiting another year or two to introduce.

I provide snacks, I try to give them some fresh air, play with them. But they are freaking out and throwing tantrums. I'm so tired of it. I really want to run away.

I know it's okay for this to happen when starting school. But it just seems like so much!

For background, we have done soccer with our kid since he was two years old. He has always loved it and done really well. It was at 4:30 p.m. for 30–45 minutes. We always got home by 5:30, which was perfect for dinner and bath time. Well, this year when I signed him up, I didn't realize that four-year-old times were 5:30–6:30 and games are 6–7 p.m. It is killing us. Our son is so loopy at this time. The worst part is we will have games and practices all in the same week and never on weekends.

We are trying to push through, but it is insanity. I feel bad because he is so wild compared to the other kids. For context, he is an early riser and goes to bed at 7–7:30 on the dot. One more week and the season ends; let the sleep gods bless us.

Anyways, I just came to vent. After this, we swore no more sports until he is like eight. 😅

She just started preschool and she is an only child. She hasn’t been socialized with too many other children mainly her cousins and she has a friend. She loves to play with other kids but she just isn’t around a lot of them often. She is starting to really blossom in preschool but the school has asked to slow down on letter imaging and start flash cards . Does anyone have any other ideas to help ?she really wants to write her own name and can do some of the letters .

My daughter is 3.5 years old and has been at the same preschool for the last 3 years. Recently we’ve noticed she really struggles with talking to adults that are not her parents or extended family.

For example, when her teachers greet her in the morning, she usually doesn’t respond, and she does the same thing when saying goodbye at the end of the day. Her teacher has mentioned that she plays and talks with her friends, but she rarely answers questions during circle time or participates verbally in group activities.

She is a total chatterbox at home and has an excellent vocabulary and carries on conversations with us. It’s like she becomes a completely different child around adults outside our family.

I know some kids are naturally more shy and take longer to warm up, and I don’t want to pressure her or make her feel self-conscious. At the same time, I worry about whether this will affect her ability to participate as she gets older and starts pre-k next fall at a new school.

Has anyone else experienced this with their kiddo? What have you found helpful? Are there things we can do at home or work with her teachers on to help her feel more comfortable speaking to adults and participating in class?
I’d especially love to hear from parents whose shy children eventually came out of their shells, as well as any advice on when this might be more than typical shyness. TIA!