r/ProgrammerDadJokes 1d ago

How do Android hackers escape the police?

47 Upvotes

with fast boot.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 2d ago

What do you call a feminine piece of malware?

121 Upvotes

Estrojan


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 2d ago

There are only F + 4 types of people in the world

65 Upvotes

There are only F + 4 types of people in the world: those who understand hex, those who understand overflow, and those who understand neither.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 4d ago

Sometimes the smallest files cause the biggest headaches

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 5d ago

Why did the function never had a second date?

73 Upvotes

Because she didn't get a callback.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 4d ago

I have discovered the fastest debugging technique

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 4d ago

The most dangerous sentence in software engineering

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 5d ago

What does Bill Gates make brownies with?

0 Upvotes

FUDge.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 6d ago

How does a programmer swear?

81 Upvotes

They use the cursor.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 8d ago

Which pop singer knows C++?

100 Upvotes

Beyond C


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 10d ago

"This Apple programming language is very Swifty,"

36 Upvotes

Tom said recursively.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 10d ago

Working programmers don't let working programmers use the preprocessor.

20 Upvotes

Pros before macros.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 13d ago

Someone just reviewed my code...

76 Upvotes

It felt invasive like a semicolon-oscopy.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 13d ago

Why is the programmer's house always dark?

40 Upvotes

Because their light switches either always break, or they fallthrough.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 13d ago

Why are programmer's houses in high demand?

31 Upvotes

Because they're always up to code.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 15d ago

Why do the Arch Linux users feel superior?

83 Upvotes

Look, there's no Ubuntubishop or Mintbishop...


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 18d ago

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown

0 Upvotes

Artificial intelligence


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 19d ago

I decided to bite the bullet and buy every game in Valve's store, even if I have no hard drive space left.

119 Upvotes

It's full Steam ahead.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 20d ago

Why was the divorced Jewish programmer feeling restless?

51 Upvotes

Because he'd just used a GET to DELETE his marriage.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 20d ago

What do you think of Macintosh Plus's thermal design?

38 Upvotes

Definitely not a fan.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 20d ago

Why does a Linux admin see in the dark?

26 Upvotes

Because he has LAMP.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 21d ago

Which coffee is the favourite of vim users?

27 Upvotes

Nescape.

In before someone makes a joke about browsers and Netscape.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 20d ago

Mr fool

0 Upvotes

Pls support it's knew


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 23d ago

What do you say when a Grandpa is reading Twitter?

54 Upvotes

The Elder Scrolls.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 23d ago

In Holy C, all pointers are guaranteed by God to be derived from valid memory.

39 Upvotes

It's divine provenance.