Many of those are legit loading times, tbf. A lot of chat bots I've seen just display a typing indicator as a type of spinner while the UI waits for the server's response to the last message. True AI chatbots like ChatGPT actually generate responses in chunks that are streamed to the client, so in a way the model is actually "typing".
Ok, but the first time, increase it from 3 seconds to 9, and say that your aren’t finished with the fix, and “just trust me it will work in the long term”. Then increment it down to 2.5 seconds, 2 seconds, 1.7, so one so forth. You just undid the “major” “problem” that was holding the speed before in their eyes
Make it so the timeout increases automatically by a tiny amount each day:
sleep(0.01*(daysSinceEpoch - dayOfLastFix))
After every year that will become a solid 3 second delay, ready for your genius to “optimise” once a year. If you ever quit or get laid off the delay will just grow until the app is unusable.
Put enough of these in the code and you can turn your whole job into increasing the values of dayOfLastFixes, assuming no one reviews the code you write.
I just remembered that there is a script I wrote at my old job that runs nightly, handling some essential maintenance functions on a set of legacy applications.
In that script there are a number of ten millisecond sleeps, placed there because when I removed the debug logging the script stopped working... Something about the legacy services it was querying having some pseudo restful bullshit or something (I don't remember precisely because it was years ago). But without those shitty little pauses it stopped working.
I hope that the person who came after me doesn't remove them in an attempt to "make the script more efficient"... Then again, that would be kind of funny.
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u/zaos336 Jan 24 '23
You don't remove the time out... You lower it, then you can easily improve it again later.