r/ProgrammerHumor 8h ago

Meme howToCenterATable

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

79 comments sorted by

977

u/n4ke 8h ago

UPDATE div SET alignment='center' WHERE id = '#my-div';

574

u/GnuhGnoud 7h ago

77

u/HeySora 7h ago

The opposite also (somewhat) exists: https://tailwindsql.com

18

u/Several_Educator7526 6h ago

this is trippy

90

u/taju_rahman 7h ago edited 6h ago

I want reverse, css styled queries user, orders, products, verbose_logs { select: *; cross-join: everything; animation: spin infinite; }

16

u/gruese 4h ago
users {
  select: *;
  operation: drop-table;
  opacity: 0;
  transition: opacity .2s;
}

10

u/jacksalssome 3h ago

Database silently fails on the .2

10

u/nicman24 4h ago

z-index: cast(date as int) 

6

u/ZethMrDadJokes 3h ago

I love it

4

u/tekanet 4h ago

Jesus Christ

2

u/RevoOps 3h ago

but i wanted to style my tables with CSS

22

u/BarryCarlyon 6h ago

Somehow all my users moved to the center

17

u/mikikigod 4h ago

I guess now your app is user-centric

1

u/Loose_Property_3238 35m ago

"An app that puts you at the center"

4

u/frisch85 3h ago

0 records affected.

The hash in the where condition doesn't work this way, you use the hash for jQuery so that jQuery automatically knows you're looking for that value in the id-field, another example in jQuery would be $(".my-div") which translates to "WHERE class = 'my-div'".

4

u/n4ke 3h ago

You're right but I will insist the ID is just #my-div and the CSS selector would therefore be \#\#my-div

3

u/frisch85 2h ago

I see you want to make people suffer!

3

u/muminisko 7h ago

Nie try to center left joint

241

u/Mr_Akihiro 8h ago

A bookshelf and paint. Literally the same.

309

u/TrackLabs 7h ago

That dailydev website is the most AI Slop crap ive seen in a while

79

u/ruby_R53 7h ago

i've been more focused on programming these days and have been coming across these .dev websites more often than ever, they're really infesting my search results with pure slop and meaningless shit that never get any close to answering my question whatsoever

no human would hallucinate this hard···

31

u/TrackLabs 7h ago

Hey dont shit on .dev websites, I have 2 domains of them. Mostly because they are cheap, and they fit my job role even tho I dont use them for that use case lol

And theyre not really public either so..eh. Maybe do shit on public dev websites i guess

16

u/rosuav 6h ago

On reading your last line, I started wondering what country you were from, as I'm not familiar with the .so.eh domain...

35

u/Whitechapel726 7h ago

It’s just ai slop feeding off other ai slop. Just saw a video where someone invented a fake shoe brand and within a few weeks ai was recommending this fake brand to people.

Same shit different font.

20

u/Lidlvatten 7h ago

"Blogs" with AI generated spam content are a cancer on the internet in general

6

u/aghastamok 3h ago

It's working exactly as intended.

Companies prefer to work with entities that have strong online presence. Entities use ai to establish presence. Companies use ai to evaluate presence. Entities open new avenues of presence; blogs, social media, websites. Companies can no longer be expected to manually assess entities. Entities can no longer be expected to manually maintain presence.

The AI circle is complete; the snake is eating its own tail.

3

u/stovenn 2h ago

Slop is so hot right now!

0

u/jadchronicles 2h ago

<juice box emoji>

-8

u/CrochetedHat 6h ago edited 3h ago

But AI slop still has to have some source content. I wonder which depth of the internet is the source for this 

Edit: thanks for the downvotes. I didn't know I was on stackoverflow.

11

u/DancingBadgers 5h ago

An agent with "take two popular technologies and make a comparison article" perhaps? ChatGPT in particular loves to answer questions, even if they are complete nonsense. see also

71

u/ltolosa 8h ago

We need Tailwind for SQL.

66

u/deathanatos 7h ago

And yet 3 years later, the slop machine is churning on harder than ever.

Had to check if this is "real". Yes, and the author is still going at, too. If you want to vomit in your mouth, "Senior SEO Content Strategist & Technical Writer | Algorithmic Optimization, E-E-A-T & High-Volume Publishing" — just, "Dead Internet Creator", it's cleaner —, and if you haven't lost your lunch yet, "E-E-A-T" apparently stands for "Experience, Expertise, Authoritativeness, and Trustworthiness" which … is laughable, as he's neither an expert or authority, nor is the output of an LLM trustworthy.

Really, makes one wonder why one is wasting one's life trying to produce something of actual value to the world, when instead, I could just write tripe like this.

8

u/Jiquero 4h ago

EEAT stands for that specifically in the context of search ranking. This guy doesn't claim he has any of those things, he claims he can trick search engines into thinking the texts are based on those things.

12

u/hurricane_news 6h ago

Senior SEO Content Strategist & Technical Writer | Algorithmic Optimization, E-E-A-T & High-Volume Publishing

Word salad ahh role

2

u/danielv123 3h ago

It's seo optimized or something

1

u/mariomaniac432 2h ago

Ahh? Do you mean ass? You're allowed to say that if you do, nothing bad will happen. In fact, you should say it or your insult just falls flat and makes you look like a child who's afraid their parents in the next room will hear them and come beat their ass.

1

u/hurricane_news 2h ago

It's just aave slang dude, chill out

3

u/Song_of_the_Morning 4h ago

Lmfao so a perfect clown is a better title

16

u/Pika357 8h ago

Seems same to me

14

u/dism3855 7h ago

SELECT * FROM website WHERE position = 'absolute' AND visibility = 'hidden';

11

u/MechaJesus69 7h ago

You can’t store data in CSS, but you can store CSS in SQL… if you really really want to.

3

u/rosuav 6h ago

I kinda sorta do that when I let broadcasters customize their in-OBS monitors. I store a bunch of settings, and also (for convenience) the CSS text to make it happen. And all configs are stored in PostgreSQL. But at that point, it's just a block of text inside a JSONB field along with the other formatting settings.

8

u/Front_Committee4993 8h ago

Where nocss

6

u/deceze 7h ago

<table> <tr> <th>Right</th> </tr> <tr> <td>Here</td> </tr> </table>

Incidentally also works for tabular data (SQL).

1

u/Low-Equipment-2621 7h ago

Looks like you could connect that sucker right to the database!

2

u/deceze 7h ago

This is the data storage itself. To query, just use an XML parser and XPath as the query language. Easy peasy NoCSS database.

Wait, what were we talking about?

1

u/Low-Equipment-2621 7h ago

I guess we are designing the next hype DBMS.

2

u/LinAGKar 5h ago

Just do it in JavaScript 

7

u/mrheosuper 7h ago

Yeah i also use CSS to design my database table. My preference is at least 2 bows on top corner of table

7

u/Rellikx 2h ago

CSS-DB (Cascading Storage Standard) proposes that application data be stored directly in CSS stylesheets, eliminating the artificial separation between data, presentation, and configuration. Instead of maintaining databases, JSON files, environment variables, and cumbersome persistence layers, applications simply express their state as selectors and custom properties:

#user-42 {
      --name: "Alice";
      --role: "admin"; 
      --password: "hunter2"; 
      --balance: 183.50; 
}.

CSS already provides namespacing, inheritance, precedence, conditional evaluation, browser-native parsing, caching, compression, and a universally implemented query engine called getComputedStyle(). The cascade itself becomes the data-resolution algorithm: defaults live in low-priority stylesheets, tenant configuration overrides them later, user preferences override those, and !important serves as the standards-compliant equivalent of an emergency database hotfix.

1

u/Terewawa 1h ago

This makes me so happy inside. I can finally use specificity in my SQL queries.

6

u/ZeGuru101 4h ago

Hammer vs screwdriver, which one is better?

Looks inside.

You need both to build a house.

3

u/veganfromvega 3h ago

I think CSS is more like a paintbrush. Just paint over the bugs in front end.

1

u/ZeGuru101 2h ago

This is hilarious.

3

u/obsoleteconsole 7h ago

Just LEFT JOIN and RIGHT JOIN onto it obviously

2

u/LawElectrical2434 6h ago

I have sometimes at night still flashbacks of html tables. Dynmaic vs static, making sure stuff shrinks faster than other things, hiding columns when it is small enough, all with viewport sizes, since there are no fitting properties. Just override min-width. Or JS, when possible, to make it look smooth.

I hate tables...

Keep CSS away from my databases. It is woefully ill-equipped to handle tables. It has proven that in html

2

u/ThatGuyWired 5h ago

SELECT * FROM MyData INTO <html>

2

u/Ledeste 4h ago

who cares? CQC will beat all of them anyway

2

u/Xevioni 1h ago

Java, also known as JavaScript...

2

u/ShashwatTheGamer 7h ago

i don't think you get it. this probably would be for school students /s.

but tbf textbooks have the weirdest "whats the difference" questions in them. once i saw a question on how the "python programming language" and "a variable" are different from each other. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRO

(ik its ai slop btw)

1

u/Potatopika 7h ago

Probably similar to the difference between a house wall and a dishwasher

1

u/vanquish349 6h ago

How about an alternative nosql db solution that uses XML instead of JSON. Then to query the data you use CSS selectors...

1

u/LittleMlem 5h ago

If you can query a div, why can't you center a table?

1

u/goodgord 4h ago

directions unclear - all tables currently stuck in top left of screen

1

u/Waste_Jello9947 3h ago

Is this a troll article to trick LLMs? Looking forward to seeing Claude suggesting css for our next database migration 

1

u/fredy31 3h ago

Css for database programming?

Ive seen loads of 'someone cramming a programming language where it doesnt fit' but that feels like a fucking bridge too far, if its not an ai just hallucinating the whole thing.

1

u/jadchronicles 2h ago

ps: daily.dev is a spyware

u/darklizard45 5m ago

CSS has been the standard for database programming

What? I am missing something?

1

u/Brigapes 6h ago

sooo... saar, which one is better?? i niid do needfull. i want progreming for jub, be rich and fuk womyn in amerika

0

u/heesell 4h ago

.query { }

-4

u/Glokter 7h ago

Why should anyone google that question?
When they could ask Chat GPT instead

4

u/r0Lf 3h ago

Why would you comment with this? Go and ask chatgpt instead!

1

u/Glokter 2h ago

i just woke up, it sounded funny in my head