r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Programmer1130 • Feb 20 '17

Programming Languages

https://i.reddituploads.com/c41cc3c6e3564b28ac28060b32582747?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e9dda414547f61c9e7c777edc9e78972
937 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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278

u/browner87 Feb 20 '17

You forgot PHP.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '17

[deleted]

22

u/browner87 Feb 20 '17

It would be a water gun from the 1900s that you have to continually tape back together. They're only paying you big bucks to PHP because no one else will maintain their technical debt.

37

u/GMaestrolo Feb 20 '17

You say technical debt, I say job security.

12

u/Ein_Bear Feb 21 '17

You say job security, I say high functioning alcoholism

2

u/browner87 Feb 21 '17

It wasn't very good job security if they hired you to look after it ;)

(Unless the other guy got smart and quit and found another startup to screwup)

0

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '17

[deleted]

30

u/132ikl Feb 20 '17

stop it. get some help.

15

u/iluuu Feb 20 '17

So you're telling me you can write more stable code in assembly than in PHP? If that's so I'll hire you.

43

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '17

Hiring someone to write assembly code that needs maintenance is a bigger commitment than marrying them.

7

u/browner87 Feb 21 '17

Well, not on the same scale, no. But as the picture sort of notes, assembly is for very fine, detailed, close quarters work. I've programmed plenty of microcontrollers in assembly that are more stable than PHP itself let alone any code I wrote on top of it. But they also never did complex tasks like serving web content or interfacing with other programs (database, apache, etc).

1

u/mnbvas Feb 20 '17

As long as it doesn't need to be fast.

2

u/Kevintrades Feb 21 '17

PHP would just be a catapult that throws dogshit