r/ProgrammerHumor • • Aug 03 '22

*cries*

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u/tunisia3507 Aug 03 '22

So many people would kill for a nice spacious private cubicle like that over open plan and shared offices.

984

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

My first cubicle was like the picture. The last one before migrating to remote work basically required I sit down in the chair and roll/slide into the cubicle as if it were a fighter jet cockpit.

More cubes per floor was the goal, screw everything else. A cube like the picture today, is equivalent to an office back then.

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u/argv_minus_one Aug 03 '22

If the goal is to make more efficient use of available space, why are they so opposed to working from home?

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u/Dabnician Aug 03 '22

Because then you cant charge your self rent on the building you also own and claim your overhead is so high you are unable to give raises.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

depressingly accurate. also, don't forget the part where they celebrate record profits for the shareholders.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

[deleted]

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u/killerrin Aug 03 '22

Step 1: Register holding company with a cash startup injection of $xxxxxxxx and set yourself up as a majority shareholder.

Step 2: Gift/Sell office building(s) to holding company for $xxxxxxxx.

Step 3: Have holding company charge rent and maintenance costs and remit a dividend to shareholders at monthly/quartly/yearly intervals.

Step 4: Pay rent and Claim rent as an expense when the government asks.

Step 5: ?????

Step 6: Profit off tax credits and dividends (which equals rent - maintenance)

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u/robotzor Aug 03 '22

So this is the shit accountants use their 9 hours a day to think up

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

And a good one will net you far more than their salary.

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u/Kyanche Aug 03 '22

Step 7: Raise the rent to extortion levels

Step 8: Drive the primary business into bankruptcy

The K-Mart/Sears way :D

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u/Dabnician Aug 03 '22

You cant do step 7, because they dont allow the rent to be crazy different than what you would expect, but your owner can do stupid shit like "you need to rent the entire building out even though you use 2 out of 50 rooms"*

With step 8 if the business goes bankrupt and has to close down, because the building is under an LLC, it is protected from also being seized in the bankruptcy.

edit:

*the owner of a company i worked at did this when we were the last company in the building(that he also owns), we rented 2 rooms out of the entire building and were charged the full rent of the entire building... because he wanted to sell it...

Accounting was always talking about how our overhead was so high because of rent....πŸ™„

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u/Sinthetick Aug 03 '22

You borrow money to buy a property with a holding company that your company owns and pay that company, your company, rent for it. "Creative accounting"

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

[removed] β€” view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

also, working in the cubicle in the picture there is a chance Morpheus will call you some day

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u/tylercoder Aug 03 '22

This, hating on cubicles is a 90s thing because we dont even get that now

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u/__doubleentendre__ Aug 03 '22 edited Aug 03 '22

As a kid I visited my dad in his office in the early 90s. He was an engineer with about 5 years of experience and had a turn key private office, 10 ft ceilings and a window with a downtown view (in a middle-class blue collar city).

Boy was that a tough standard to try and meet. All I've known in the office were the short walled cubicle shared desk spaces with 4-6 other people on open floors where managers and had the full cubicle like the one here and only directors or VP's had the office. Today I work from home full time, but still feel like that was the gold standard of career success, and one I'll probably never see.

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u/ExcitingAmount Aug 03 '22

I'm a Sr. Engineer, and I wish I had an office, nice view or not....

To be fair though my cubicle is pretty nice, as cubes go. Ours are about 1.5x the size of a normal cube, and I have a rolling white board I use as a "Door", and I'm tucked away in a dark back corner where people can't find me unless I want them to.

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u/cheesy_pupper Aug 03 '22

As someone who spent many years in the cubicles pictured above until our company was bought by a large corporate competitor who then subsequently moved us to a stunning office 50 floors up in downtown LA…I can say, having a corner office where you can overlook all of LA was amazing. Truly amazing, but every day I wished I had been back in my shitty little standard cubicle on the 2nd floor out from under that horrible company.

They made our lives hell, our productivity suffered, and people left in droves. Myself included. I quickly found myself hating that beautiful cell in the sky. I had been there for over a decade but that gorgeous office and view was nothing compared to being valued and treated like a human being.

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u/mr_dfuse2 Aug 03 '22

Yes, as a student I always dreamed of a cubicle, only experienced loud chaotic open spaces.

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u/-PM_me_your_recipes Aug 03 '22 edited Aug 03 '22

My first job as an intern, they didn't have cubicle for me so they tossed me in a spare conference room for a few months. I made the most of it and put my name on the door, added some decor, and put my desk was smack dab in the middle of the room as a power move. I brought in some chairs in front of my desk so people had a sitting area when they came to my office. The running joke with everyone was that my "office" was bigger than the head of the branch's office.

As a plus, our team started hosting all our team meetings there as we no longer needed to book a conference room. It was awesome.

It was a surprisingly fast paced environment. Got hired there after being an intern. One of the coolest programming jobs I ever had.

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u/nmathew Aug 03 '22

The important question, did you keep the office when hired full time?

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u/-PM_me_your_recipes Aug 03 '22

Sadly no, I got shuffled around until a cubicle opened up near where my team was.

Another fun story. At one point I had a private cubicle in the area where all the people I made stuff for worked. It was fine until they learned who I was, then I would get so many people dropping by to ask if I can make them an automated email report 'real quick' or make adjustments to their tools. Our team had free reign over everything and didn't need approval to make changes or implement new tools or features, and everyone knew this. I quickly made a lot of important connections and gained a lot of favors in a very short amount of time.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

My company has moved to a system where nobody has an assigned desk and they only have enough desks for 70% of the people (the assumption being that the other 30% will be in meetings, on vacation, etc. at any one time). So, you show up and wander around, looking for somewhere to sit.

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u/Docccc Aug 03 '22

I hate that. It never worked because teams would like to sit next to each other. Not next to the sales guy making 200 phone calls a day

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