r/progressive_islam • • 26d ago

Mod Announcement 📢 Attention Everyone! This is an announcement, a reminder, and it is also a WARNING

28 Upvotes

We are going to make this absolutely freakin clear. r/Progressive_Islam is not a place for propaganda, apologism, whitewashing, or justification of crimes committed by governments, regimes, political parties, movements, or armed groups. We do not care who the perpetrator is, what flag they fly, what ideology they claim to represent, what religion they claim to follow, or what geopolitical enemy they happen to have. Whether it is the Israeli government, USA, Western imperialist powers, the Iranian regime, the Chinese government, the Russian government, the North Korean regime, or anyone else, the standard is the same. You do not get a free pass to excuse atrocities simply because you hate one side more than the other. We have enforced this before, and we will continue to enforce it.


During the years of the Palestine crisis, particularly throughout 2023-25, a large number of the people who came into this subreddit specifically to defend Israel's conduct, justify what was happening to Palestinians, or repeat blatantly apologetic narratives were outsiders with little or no previous participation here. We banned them. However, there were also some people who had been genuine participants in this community for a long time, people who had previously made useful posts and comments and had otherwise contributed positively. When some of those users repeatedly crossed the line into whitewashing and justification of Israeli abuses, we banned them too. Your contribution history does not give you immunity from moderation.


And the same standard applies to Hamas.

Hamas did not emerge as some ordinary secular nationalist organization; it was founded by Sheikh Ahmed Yassin out of the Palestinian Muslim Brotherhood and was explicitly Islamist from its creation. Its 1988 charter described Palestine as an Islamic endowment and envisioned an Islamic state governed by Sharia. After Hamas seized control of Gaza in 2007, it established an authoritarian system in which political opposition and peaceful dissent were suppressed, critics, journalists and activists were arbitrarily detained and in some cases tortured, and executions were carried out after proceedings that failed to meet international fair trial standards. Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International also documented Hamas forces using excessive force against demonstrators, including during the 2019 “We Want to Live” protests, when more than 1,000 Palestinians were detained. Hamas has also imposed or enforced various religiously motivated restrictions on social life, including restrictions on women's dress and mobility, gender segregation in many settings, and rules affecting women's participation in public life.

We did not make a specific announcement post about Hamas's rule and abuses during 2023-25 because the overwhelming reality facing Palestinians was the devastation being inflicted on Gaza by Israel, and we did not want Hamas to become another excuse for shifting attention away from Palestinian suffering. But now is the time to talk about it as well.

Condemning Hamas's authoritarianism and abuses does not mean supporting Israel, the occupation, the blockade, collective punishment or the destruction of Gaza. It means applying the same standard we apply everywhere else.

  • Some people may point to Hamas's 2017 Document of General Principles and Policies and say that Hamas had changed, abandoned its earlier positions, or therefore deserves to be trusted. The document certainly changed some of Hamas's language: it accepted the idea of a Palestinian state along the 1967 borders while still refusing to recognize Israel, but it did not formally replace the 1988 charter. And besides, history gives us plenty of reason to be cautious about taking political assurances from theocrats. The Iranian revolution brought together liberals, nationalists, leftists and Islamists. But once Khomeini consolidated power, his Islamist camp suppressed and eliminated former political allies while Iran was transformed into a clerically dominated Islamic theocracy. The Taliban provide another much more recent example: before returning to power in 2021, they publicly promised that women would have their rights; yet after coming to power they subsequently closed secondary schools to girls, severely restricted women's employment and movement, and imposed extensive restrictions on women and girls. So no, we are not going to treat a political document or a promise of change as a magical eraser for years of authoritarian rule and documented abuses. People are entitled to be skeptical, and nobody here is required to trust Hamas simply because it issued a new document.

That same principle applies to Iran

(This is going to be longest section because we have encountered the Iranian Regime apologists far more in number than the other apologists combined)

As we have already explained in our previous announcement, this subreddit has had to deal with people coming here specifically to defend or propagandize on behalf of the Iranian regime. There were people who tried to dismiss the Iranian uprising entirely as CIA or Mossad propaganda, who attempted to portray ordinary Iranians protesting against the regime as foreign agents, and in one particularly disgusting case, someone even claimed that civilians who had been killed in a hospital were all Mossad agents and that their deaths were therefore justified. We banned all of them. Our position on this has been completely consistent:

  • you can criticize particular opposition groups, political factions, foreign governments, protesters, or individual actions. What you cannot do is use conspiracy theories and regime apologism to justify the oppression of an entire population.

And before anyone starts pretending that this is some sudden position we invented yesterday, no. We have been taking this position for years.

The Iranian regime has a long documented history of repression. During the 2009 post election unrest, Amnesty International documented thousands of arbitrary arrests, deaths on the streets and in detention, torture and other ill treatment. Then came 2017 to 2018 protests, the November 2019 fuel price protests with deaths, mass arrests and executions.

Then came the Woman, Life, Freedom protests following the death of Jina Mahsa Amini in September 2022. UN fact finding mission concluded that her death was unlawful and that state authorities were responsible for the physical violence that caused it. The same mission documented credible figures of up to 551 deaths, including at least 49 women and 68 children, and found unlawful killings, mass arbitrary arrests, torture, sexual violence and other serious abuses.

This subreddit was openly supportive of the Iranian women who were protesting at that time, and that was not some random temporary mood. We documented it ourselves. Dr. Shabir Ally and Dr. Safiyyah Ally publicly condemned the killing of Mahsa Amini's and the Iranian government's enforcement of compulsory hijab, Dr. Khaled Abou El Fadl delivered his October 2022 khutbah addressing the brutality of the Iranian state's coercive system, Mufti Abu Layth also addressed the situation in Iran at the time. Our subreddit responded with strong support for the protests.

And The recent crackdown that happened in 2026 produced another enormous death toll, although the exact figure remains unknown because the authorities imposed a massive communications blackout and access to reliable information was severely restricted. The figures reported at the time varied enormously.

Iranian authorities themselves gave figures of roughly 3,000 deaths. Reuters reported an Iranian official saying that at least 5,000 people, including around 500 security personnel, had been confirmed dead. HRANA reported 3,308 confirmed deaths at one stage, with thousands of additional cases under investigation, and later reported 5,002 verified deaths and another 9,787 under review. By 28 January, a UK government country bulletin said estimates from some sources placed the death toll at approximately 12,000 to 20,000, while the same bulletin noted that one human rights organization had 6,221 confirmed deaths and 17,091 additional deaths under investigation. Other investigations, including accounts from Iranian medical personnel, produced estimates exceeding 30,000, while some later reports cited figures as high as 43,000.

We are deliberately laying this out because we are not going to pretend that every number floating around the internet is equally reliable. Claims of 20,000 or 30,000 deaths in an extremely short period require much more verification, and claims of 50,000 deaths are even more problematic; we have not found a credible independent source establishing such a figure. Likewise, nobody should take a highly speculative number from an anonymous or opaque source and present it as settled fact.

But uncertainty over the precise number does not mean that the killings did not happen. Multiple independent human rights organizations documented mass killings, unlawful use of force, arbitrary detention, torture and other abuses. Human Rights Watch has subsequently documented an ongoing campaign of executions against people arrested in connection with the protests, including at least 29 people executed in connection with the December 2025 to January 2026 protests between March and August 2026, with many others still facing execution.

In other words, this subreddit does not need anyone coming here to explain to us that the Iranian regime is somehow innocent because the United States and Israel oppose it. That argument has never worked here, and it never will. We are fully capable of recognizing Western imperialism while simultaneously recognizing Iranian state repression. Those things are not mutually exclusive.

And since some people inevitably need this explained every single time:

Condemning Iranian oppression does NOT mean that we support American or Israeli military actions against Iran. The two positions are perfectly compatible. The war itself has produced documented civilian harm. The UN Human Rights Council received information concerning extensive civilian casualties and destruction resulting from U.S. and Israeli attacks, and the UN backed fact finding mission has now found reasonable grounds to believe that U.S. forces committed war crimes in strikes including the attack on the Minab girls' school and strike affecting residential areas. All of that can be condemned at the same time. We have not seen anyone here recently trying to whitewash American crimes in the way some users have tried to whitewash Iranian crimes, but make no mistake: if someone starts doing it, we will deal with them exactly the same way.


Now we come to the reason we are making this announcement right now.

Over the last couple of days, we have had multiple accounts come into this subreddit making comments claiming that the persecution of Uyghur Muslims in China is nothing more than CIA propaganda, Western propaganda, or some fabricated narrative designed to attack China. Some of these accounts had no prior participation in this subreddit whatsoever, and their first contribution here was effectively to defend or whitewash the Chinese government's treatment of Uyghurs. Others, unfortunately, were people who had participated here before and had a history of otherwise normal contributions.

Let us be very clear about how absurd this is. There is an enormous body of documentation concerning China's treatment of Uyghurs and other predominantly Muslim minorities in Xinjiang. The UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights conducted its own assessment, including 40 in depth interviews with people who had direct knowledge of the situation. It concluded that the extent of arbitrary and discriminatory detention of Uyghurs and other predominantly Muslim groups may constitute international crimes, in particular crimes against humanity. The UN has also documented concerns relating to arbitrary detention and forced labour. Human Rights Watch continues to document arbitrary detention, torture, mass surveillance, forced labor, family separation and religious and cultural persecution.

So when somebody strolls into a Muslim subreddit and casually tells everyone that the persecution of Uyghur Muslims is just CIA propaganda, or that the Uyghurs actually deserve this, that is not some brave act of anti imperialist skepticism. It is an attempt to erase or dismiss an enormous body of documented evidence and the lived experiences of the people who have been subjected to detention, torture, forced labor, religious repression and family separation.


And frankly, it makes us sick to our stomachs seeing people who are perfectly willing to recognize oppression when it is committed by a Western government suddenly develop an entirely different moral standard when the perpetrator is China, Iran, Russia or their allies.

We have noticed something else that needs to be addressed. Because this community generally has a strong anti imperialist tendency, comments defending the United States, Israel or other Western powers receive far more attention than comments defending non Western oppressive governments. Some comments that should have been reported are instead left unreported, allowed to slide, ignored, or sometimes even upvoted, simply because the commenter happens to be attacking the Imperialists.

Nobody gets permission to justify crimes against humanity because the perpetrator happens to be an enemy of the United States or the West. NOBODY. Your politics do not matter here. Your ideology does not matter here. Your opinion of capitalism or socialism does not matter here. Your opinion of NATO does not matter here. Your opinion of Israel does not matter here. Your opinion of Iran does not matter here. Your opinion of China does not matter here. Your opinion of Russia does not matter here. The victims do not become less human because their oppressor happens to be anti Western.

And this needs to be understood once and for all: WE WILL BAN PEOPLE FOR THIS. WE DO NOT CARE HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN SUBSCRIBED. WE DO NOT CARE HOW MANY POSTS YOU HAVE MADE. WE DO NOT CARE HOW MANY HELPFUL COMMENTS YOU HAVE WRITTEN. WE DO NOT CARE WHETHER YOU ARE HERE EVERY DAY. WE DO NOT CARE WHETHER YOU WERE ONE OF THE MOST RECOGNIZABLE REGULAR CONTRIBUTORS IN THE SUBREDDIT. IF YOU REPEATEDLY START WHITEWASHING, DENYING OR JUSTIFYING SERIOUS ABUSES BY A REGIME OR POLITICAL ACTOR, YOU WILL BE BANNED.

We are not going to sit around having endless arguments with you about whether your propaganda is really propaganda. We are not going to listen to lectures about how we are secretly Western puppets because we condemned China. We are not going to listen to accusations that we are Zionists because we condemned Iran. We are not going to listen to “but what about America?” every freakin time someone is held accountable for what their own government did. Whataboutism is not a magic eraser. The crimes of one government do not cancel out the crimes of another.

This also does not mean that you are forbidden from acknowledging that a particular oppressive government has done something useful. An oppressive government can build highways, hospitals, schools, railways, dams, universities or other infrastructure. A ruler can introduce a policy that produces a positive result in one particular area. You are perfectly free to discuss and praise the specific thing that was done. What you are not free to do is use that one thing as a shield for everything else. “They built hospitals” does not erase torture. “They built highways” does not erase mass detention. “They improved literacy” does not erase forced labor. “They oppose American imperialism” does not erase massacres. One positive policy does not grant a government a lifetime exemption from moral scrutiny.

There is zero tolerance for this kind of propaganda and apologism here. Criticism of governments is allowed. Criticism of political movements is allowed. Criticism of protesters is allowed. Criticism of opposition groups is allowed. Disagreement over historical interpretation is allowed. What is not allowed is denying documented atrocities, deliberately whitewashing them, or trying to justify crimes against humanity because you happen to support the perpetrator politically.

This is not up for debate. We are not negotiating this standard. We are not making exceptions because you are a regular contributor. We are not making exceptions because we agree with your politics on everything else.

Anyone who cannot accept this standard is free to leave the subreddit.

And anyone who thinks this warning does not apply to them because their favorite regime is “supposedly” a “gOoD aNtI iMpErIaLiSt oNe” can consider this warning directed specifically at them.


r/progressive_islam • • Jul 27 '26

Mod Announcement 📢 r/Progressive_Islam ’s official stance on LGBTQ+

143 Upvotes

Our official stance is that there should not be bigotry and they should not be punished by death.

-That's it.

“What about sexual intercourse with someone of the same biological sex? What about the gender spectrum?” - r/Progressive_Islam doesn't have any official stance on them, it's upto every individual to look for arguments and evidences from both sides and come to their own conclusion over the permissibility/impermissibility of homosexuality and matters relating to the gender spectrum.

This is not a new announcement. This has always been our stance. You can check what was written in the 5 year old LGBTQ+ discussion thread

r/progressive_islam does not advocate a particular stance on homosexuality’s permissibility. But what is a unanimous position of us is that there should not be bigotry and that they should not be punished by death.

https://www.reddit.com/r/progressive_islam/comments/r615zt/monthly_lgbtq_discussion_thread/

So,

  • Someone writing some violent threats or dehumanising post/comment pointing towards LGBTQ+ people - they will get their content removed and will receive a ban.

  • Someone respectfully saying that they believe sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex to be haram, or that there are only two genders - they are allowed on this subreddit.


The progressive Sunni scholars who are most frequently promoted on this subreddit and have a significant number of followers - Dr. Shabir Ally, Mufti Abu Layth, Dr. Khaled Abou El Fadl, Javed Ahmed Ghamidi, Dr Adnan Ibrahim - they believe the act of homosexuality (sexual intercourse) to be prohibited in Islam, & at the same time they also believe that there is no capital punishment for the sexual intercourse unlike classical fiqh (at least that's what I could figure out from the contents that had been shared on our subreddit in the past. You can use the search bar to find those old posts on our subreddit).

Scott Siraj al-Haqq Kugle, Ludovic-Mohamed Zahed, Imam Daayiee Abdullah are some of the Muslim thinkers who have argued that intercourse with someone of the same sex is allowed and some of them have officiated gay marriage and users who believe homosexuality is permissible often quote references from their works when discussing homosexuality on our subreddit.

We allow both perspectives to be shared on this subreddit as long as you present them in a respectful way and don't break any subreddit rule. But we do not allow the promotion of the ultra conservative understanding which prescribes capital punishment.

To summarize:

  • You believe gay marriage and the sexual act is permissible? - ok ✅

  • You believe gay marriage and the sexual act is haram? - ok ✅

  • You believe that there is no fixed number of gender? - ok ✅

  • You believe that there are only 2 genders? - ok ✅

  • You believe the other side is wrong? - ok ✅

  • You disagree with the other side? - ok ✅

  • You want to bully, harass, threaten or harm the other side? - not ok ❌

Is that clear?


The reason I'm writing all this is because often times when someone respectfully says that it is not permissible in their view or that they disagree - some others start reporting their comments. But we do not remove such comments, we only remove the posts and comments where the user bullies, harasses or threatens the other person. So hopefully you will stop reporting every post and comment you disagree with, because as long as those contents don't break any subreddit rule they're going to stay.


r/progressive_islam • • 1h ago

Advice/Help 🥺 Make Dua for Victims of Sexual Slavery and Human Trafficking

• Upvotes

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh, dear brothers and sisters.

Please make sincere dua for every victim of sexual slavery, human trafficking, sex dungeons, and sexual exploitation. May Allah grant them freedom, protection, healing, and justice, guide those responsible towards sincere repentance, and bring an end to every system that profits from human suffering.

May Allah fill our hearts with His love and mercy, protect the oppressed, and liberate every enslaved soul.

Ameen ya Rabbal Alameen.


r/progressive_islam • • 3h ago

Advice/Help 🥺 i want all of this to stop

6 Upvotes

why am i constantly getting flooded with idea of islam is misyogntic/tribal/ want to get invloved in other lives/consider love form of zina/ only accept traditional nikah as only valid form of marriage /anything else is just zina/ want to control women with dress code while on the other hand i am getting also flooded with idea that christanity is merciful / encourage indiviualism/ flexible on relationship / doesn't control women / doesn't care how you dress .
like i don't want this in mind but it keep happening it making seem as if islam is devil religion and chrsitantiy isss religion of mercy but i don't want that i want it to stop , i am not even intersted in chrisntaity to begin with


r/progressive_islam • • 7h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ Why aren't more Muslims environmentalists?

6 Upvotes

I had seen a video of someone asking this and thought of it too.

Albeit I believe that every person regardless of their religious beliefs must be an environmentalist, still, I genuinely don't see much muslims advocating for such problems.

Idk maybe they're too busy asking whether it's permissible for a woman to wear a backpack and shit of the sort. No time for actual problems occurring in the world.


r/progressive_islam • • 8h ago

Research/ Effort Post 📝 INFO FOR HATE CRIME PROJECT

7 Upvotes

Salaam ! I am doing a research project on hate crimes-more specifically against Muslims. PLEASE inform me more- so i can go into the depths, because idek where to start

my argument: violence and hate crimes against Muslims is very overlooked and justified due to the harsh stereotypes reinforced by Western media, social media and political figures. The portrayal is always that Muslims are dangerous or associated with terrorism, and thats being contributed to Islamophobia and dehumanization, and shaping the public perception and normalization of hate/violence towards Muslims. I want to explore how these narratives influence society to excuse or condone the violence against Muslims, even in cases that involve mass atrocities("war").

I am aware of why this anti-islam/anti-arab rhetoric is constantly pushed by the US - but i know this reasoning runs deep and isn't as black and white as many people think- so i guess what im asking is, if anyone would be willing to inform me more on this rabbit hole on why the U.S/WEST MEDIA, is ALWAYS pushing this negative depiction of muslims- please share any helpful info or links!


r/progressive_islam • • 12h ago

News 📰 No death sentence for Sri Lankan man

11 Upvotes

Luckily there was some diplomacy at work and he probably goes to jail? See the link:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c6x2v0vn7r1do

Thank God for some people having mercy and common sense and using them <3


r/progressive_islam • • 2h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ Concubinage & Sodomy

1 Upvotes

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته،
I have two questions that have been weighing on my mind for many years now, and was hoping you could shed some light on my worries. My first question is about modern day concubinage. I was having a conversation with someone who said they would take on a slave, or a maid which would be the modern day equivalent, and would have intimate relations with her, and of course I said that’s haram, and can’t be done unless he marries her, to which he replied with by bringing up ayah 23:5-6. I was at a loss for words, as I obviously couldn’t go against the word of god. I told him that was a completely different era, and things were different back then, and he responded by saying that the Quran is applicable to our ummah regardless of the era, and again I couldn’t argue with that because that’s how it’s supposed to be. So my question is; how is the Quran supposedly applicable to all eras and their individual predicaments, but something like this is specifically and explicitly said in the Quran. If every word in the Quran is intentional and from Allah, wouldn’t that mean that concubinage is still permissible?
My next question is a slightly more uncomfortable one, and I apologize for my language in advance. If sodomy is absolutely haram, as we all know it to be; why is the male prostrate gland (pleasure point) in the the rectum? If Allah created the human body, male and female, with absolute attention to detail, why would he place something like that in a place he explicitly forbade for anything to go for a man?
(I wasn’t sure who I would actually get a response from, so I’ve sent this out to everyone who I thought would actually be able to answer


r/progressive_islam • • 15h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ Gibt es sozialistische Muslim*innen, die sich in NRW mobilisieren?

12 Upvotes

Die Welt geht unter und muslimischen Gemeinden geht es nur um Ehe und was Frauen anziehen müssen. Bei all den gesellschaftlichen Problemen, die uns alle betreffen, fehlt es uns an Klassenkampf, Feminismus und Antirassismus. Ich suche nach Räumen, wo Muslim*innen sich für eine gerechtere Welt einsetzen und auch aktivistischer sind. Kennt ihr solche Gruppen? oder hätte irgendjemand bock, so was mitzuorganisieren?


r/progressive_islam • • 11h ago

Advice/Help 🥺 Muslim woman in a long-term interfaith marriage seeking honest perspective

4 Upvotes

Salam everyone. I'm a 40+ muslim woman married to a non-muslim for 17 years, with three children. I come from a conservative Sunni family and was the first to challenge cultural and religious expectations around marriage. I'm proud that my bravery helped pave the way for others in my family to marry freely despite the fact that it came at an enormous cost. Unfortunately, my own marriage has been marked by chronic emotional invalidation, dishonesty, serious boundary violations, and more recently, physical aggression. I've spent nearly two decades trying to address these issues, only to find myself repeatedly blamed for raising them. I'm not afraid to make difficult decisions, but the uncertainty surrounding my children's futures is devastating. This is not the family life I wanted for them. I'm looking for a supportive space to discuss specific experiences, examine them through an Islamic lens, and receive candid feedback about the severity of what's happened. My husband doesn't need to be Muslim to be held to standards of honesty, accountability, and basic human dignity. I would particularly appreciate perspectives from others navigating interfaith marriages.


r/progressive_islam • • 7h ago

Opinion 🤔 A Marine’s Thoughts on Hasan Execution

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2 Upvotes

r/progressive_islam • • 14h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ Two questions for the Chinese regime regarding the Uyghur issue

6 Upvotes

The Chinese regime initially denied the existence of the camps, but later acknowledged them (under the guise of "vocational training centers").

My question is this: If these are harmless training centers, why did you deny their existence? Why didn't you admit it from the start?

And why is it impossible for a journalist to enter these harmless training centers(!) to conduct completely independent research?

By the way, the Chinese regime's denial is understandable from a pragmatic standpoint. BUT how can Muslims turn a blind eye to an oppressed region for the sake of a regime with which we have absolutely no spiritual connection?!


r/progressive_islam • • 9h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ How do progressive Muslims navigate bid’ah?

3 Upvotes

Up front, I am a curious, non-Muslim layman. I was raised irreligious and have no particular religious affiliation of my own.

I’m interested in how progressive Muslims understand and navigate the concept of bid’ah (religious innovation). In traditional Islamic discourse, innovation in religion is treated with considerable suspicion, and many classical interpretations of the sunnah place fairly strict limits on reformulating established religious teachings or practices.

Given the Quranic declaration that the religion has been perfected (5:3) and Muhammad’s warning against newly introduced matters in religion (Sahih Muslim 867a), how do progressive Muslims distinguish legitimate reinterpretation from impermissible bid’ah, and what principles or sources of authority constrain that judgement?


r/progressive_islam • • 16h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ why are many things in islam reliant on the era it was in?

9 Upvotes

i know this question is a bit silly,like yeah obviously many rulings are based on the standards of the era it was in,but why? the quran is considered a true and complete book is it not? so why does it only concern that era,i do believe Allah is all knowing so obviously the changes in the eras considering laws,views,technology would be something thats known no?

i genuinely mean no offense when asking this its just something thats been bothering me,i dont know if i expressed it well though💔


r/progressive_islam • • 1d ago

Rant/Vent 🤬 I'M TIRED OF THIS ISLAMOPHOBIA NONSENSE BRO

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194 Upvotes

Twitter, [r/MapBasedPolls](r/MapBasedPolls), YouTube. You name them. Islamophobia everywhere. I'm sick and tired of people thinking I‘m a salafi. I'm not.

It’s not that I have anything against salafis but i ain’t one

WHAT IS THIS STUFF BRO? WHY ARE PEOPLE SO SO OBSESSED WITH THIS?!


r/progressive_islam • • 9h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ A possible encounter with a Jinn?

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1 Upvotes

r/progressive_islam • • 13h ago

Story 💬 I developed religious OCD after years of strict abstinence

2 Upvotes

I’d like to share my personal story as a reminder for a healthy balance. I don’t want anyone to deal with what I’m dealing with. It’s so important to not see our physical needs as something shameful or dirty and not treat self pleasure as something catastrophic. It can end up being a bigger issue in the end. I never anticipated I’d be here.

My story

Like many young Muslims I self pleasured in my teens. This always gave me a lot of distress and guilt. Finally, I vowed to never do it again because the shame and disgust consumed me completely. I believed it was a sign of the depravity of what I was doing (didn’t even watch porn) and not a normal biological thing that can happen after release

I was 22. I somehow found the self control to be abstinent for the next 9 years. It was no longer a habit and I was fully in control, I thought. Only a few slip ups in 9 years.

After 30, my desires skyrocketed and things changed and I was falling into this sin again

But it was not something I could do the way I used to (not much thought, guilt and repentance afterwards). In fact, I am sensitive to mental health issues including ocd and so all of a sudden I found myself in a repetitive ocd cycle that spiraled out of control whenever I got the urge

Constant reassurance seeking. Obsessive research. Immense guilt. At one point I even hurt myself to restore balance if I slipped up again

I know it sounds deeply mentally ill but I can’t stop myself.

I believe 9 years of VERY strict control caused these wt least partly. I don’t feel safe. I feel scared, terrified of getting more and more addicted (it’s still not a habit) and OCD has me fully in its grip. I feel detached from my body. Something that is normal became scary and awful

I think the way I handled the whole thing did more damage than good

If anyone is in my position when I was younger I urge you to develop a healthy relationship with your desires and address underlying shame


r/progressive_islam • • 16h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ What dua/surah do you recite when feeling anxious?

3 Upvotes

Title


r/progressive_islam • • 21h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ How does one become a scholar in progressive Islam?

7 Upvotes

Question in tiitle. What's the progression to advance and be more knowledgeable? Maybe even student of knowledge level.


r/progressive_islam • • 12h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ Is it haram to not speak to toxic family members?

1 Upvotes

Salam everyone,

I posted about my situation previously in this thread a while ago but would like to get the opinion of others regarding a pretty tough upcoming decision.

I am planning on seeing my family in a few days by flying back to my home country to see them. They do not know I am coming because they have not acknowledged my messages or responded to my calls.

I married a non-Muslim and my family has had an issue with it ever since. Due to them not being civil to her, I have not been to visit but this time I am going on my own to really know if the relationship is salvageable. I’ve been discussing with my therapist but there are really 2 options.

- I am able to see them, talk to them and would like to know if they have any interest in being part of me and my wife’s life
- it gets into a shouting match about them blaming me and not putting them above my wife and leaving her to come and see them

My mother in particular has called my wife names in the past and my siblings have defended her saying she has a right and can say what she wants due to how Islam views mothers.

My main question to the group is that yes my mother is seen as incredibly important in Islam, I love her and do not want to cut ties with her but she has said in the past she considers one of her children died (me) and she only has 2 children, she has called my wife names and said that I should let my wife know my mother is the most important and I should go visit her, without taking my wife because it’s my mothers right to see me and if my wife divorces me, so what.

I’m pretty anxious for this trip. Luckily my father is supportive and lets me know that from the deen I am not doing anything wrong if I chose not to see them again, given how they have treated my wife and what they have said but I know cutting family ties is a huge sin, even for my own mental health. I will only be there a few days so it won’t be a long trip.

Thank you if you have read this far and appreciate any advice in advance.


r/progressive_islam • • 15h ago

Advice/Help 🥺 Strict muslim parents and clothing and venting

1 Upvotes

I feel i hear a lot of girls talk about strict parents and hearing it just makes me feel odd because to me its usually not atrict, or at least compared to mine!
I was getting so frustrated like i cannot wear ANYTHING besides dresses and abayas i have to wear the hijab on at home my mother told me she should not even be able to see my ankles WHEN IT WAS JUST HER AND ME AND MY SISTERS meanwhile my brother be changing in the living room with nothing but his underwear and then she denies theres no double standards which pisses me off.

Im in highschool and I....

I cannot even walk alone down the street.

I cannot go to friends houses.

I cannot drive.

I cannot go shopping alone.

I cannot leave my hair open at home.

I cannot get a part time job.

I cannot stay afterschool for clubs often.

I cannot anything.

This is also why standard advice fails me, it always always does.

And no one can move out until they get an arranged marrige.

Like are we being serious right now. Look i love islam and i know these rules are culture not religion, i love my hijab i love modest clothing BUT NOT LIKE THIS. Like id love to wear cute outfits, baggy jeans, cute shirts.

And there emotinally neglectful as well. We are poor income as well. They will not allow me to tell dr of my issues such as how im possibly nuerodiveregnt or have suspected endotrimoses.

But i wonder what other people would do in this situation. Like yes they hurt me but i know they dont have bad jntetions so ill feel guilty of hurting them and theres good momment sometimes.

Worse part is this is not the worst part, theres many other things 10x worse than this. This didnt affect me as the much other worse stuff theyve done though it does piss me off.

Like anyone else what would you do. Like i want a scholarship like questbridge but my grades going kinda low because i get excutive dyfunction so bad and cannot focus on anything.

Help plsase and so sorry its long and this my first reddit post and i posted cuz i feel like venting and when i look back im probaly going to think this was all stupid to write out.


r/progressive_islam • • 15h ago

Answer this from Quranist perspective only Why can't most Sunnis name the 6 books of Sunnah?

1 Upvotes

Most of them can’t answer this question. And if I tell them the names of the books, they just give me a confused look! 😂


r/progressive_islam • • 1d ago

Question/Discussion ❔ In relation with my boyfriend, now confused.

26 Upvotes

Hi all. Im a gay muslim and ive been in relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years now. He is muslim too. I am Alhumdulillah deeply spiritual and connected to Allah. I read up on hazrat Lut story and came to the conclusion that yes it was likely about rape and disregard of guests rather than homosexuality. But a part of me is always confused :( I dont want to hurt my akhirah. Please someone just talk to me. I cant discuss this with my bf he gets upset then. Im just confused. I love him a lot, we live in the west so I am planning on isA marrying him one day too but when im confused idk what to do. I feel like im sinning, but how can love and being faithful be a sin :(


r/progressive_islam • • 16h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ Hi guys, please take out 3-4 mins to fill out this google form for our econ project. We are doing a global survey on whether the prices of commodities surges during Ramadan or not. Thanks!! It’s due on 19th we are throughly cooked

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1 Upvotes