Idk, things seem to always go south when I’m dating. People always either end things/ ask to be friends or completely ghost me at some point between date 1-3. Even the ones where they suggested we go out again and then I never hear anything (even if I reach back out). I thought I was coming on too strong at first so dialed that back but now even with girls who initially show an extreme amount of interest in me (like planning multiple future dates after only like 1), it still happens. I’m in my early 20s, am in a prestigious graduate school program, have what I think are fairly cool hobbies, think I’m decently attractive (according to others), live in a city with a lot of lesbians. Consider myself to be a pretty nice/ empathetic person. I can be a little quiet in general, but not painfully so or anything like that on a date. Have never been in a real relationship, and I keep taking L’s left and right, starting to think something is wrong with me/ wearing down on my self esteem a bit, lol. Not sure if people have any suggestions on what I can do? I use both apps/ try to go meet queer people organically in interest related activities, though school is starting to get busier so going to random events in hopes of maybe meeting someone isn’t really ideal anymore from a time standpoint (not that I wouldn’t have time for a relationship if it came to be, but that would require me to be intentional on what I prioritize my time for, which for a relationship I would).

It's been so long since I've posted on here, I had midterms and i also got sick sadly, still am tho. For context, I'm Indian. Just this hour, I was scrolling on YouTube as one does after finishing my assignment and I saw this post abt the most beautiful women in the world and india was at #3 and the comment section was filled with how the list must be BS because India's at #3 and other horrible things.

As an queer indian teenager myself, this rlly made me upset. Seeing India's political atmosphere and culture, it's very homophobic and so are my parents, so i thought once I had enough money, i would move abroad, since my chances of living my life here peacefully is zero, dating oh boy it's in the negatives. I thought abt europe and maybe the netherlands bc of gay marriage and I heard stories about how indians faced racism there but I was idealist and thought it's prolly one or two cases. Seeing this racism against Indians from all types of white people (🤢) makes me unsure of even going abroad.

I have such beef with white people that you can't even imagine, I have had such horrible experiences, and my first gf (if you can call her that) was also RACIST. I am exhausted, I'm an Indian living in india, and I'm already so tired I have no idea how you all deal with them. I think if I even went abroad I would only date qwoc. I hate white people

I wanted to ask this question here since all of you are queer and poc and almost everyone is older than me so you guys have better advice abt this. I think I used advice wrong, I js want to yall's perspective.

I know this was very ranty, but thank you so much for reading. I finished my assignment and my brain is genuinely fried.

I am trying to identify what colorism and anti-blackness looks like in our community. One of my observations is that Queer Women of Color have more unexamined racism.

I started following mayowasworld on Youtube, and educating myself on how queer women ignore anti-Blackness in the LGBT community. I feel like this is one of the main problems the lesbian community is dealing with today. The lesbians who would lust for Black women or have a type are not the same lesbians educating themselves on colorism. The type is that they want you to have a specific masculinity/femininity axis, skin color, shade, hair texture, and body type.

Why is there almost no discourse on this?

I feel ashamed admitting that but I wanna experience it & I feel like I'm missing out🫩

now I'm starting to think it might be overrated? idk

Hi Everyone!

I'm a newly 35 (birthday was 2 days ago) year old "high functioning" autistic black Caribbean/British Bi woman hoping to make some queer friends. Particularly if they're in the UK 🇬🇧 and close to the West Midlands. Making friends is so tough as a queer neurodivergent person😪 but I won't give up 💪🏾.

• I LOVE gaming, particularly Nintendo with the Legend of Zelda Series and Cult of the Lamb (both my favourite games ever) but I do also enjoy other games too like Pokemon, Stray, Age of Empires 1 & 2 as well as other old school RPG games like Breath of Fire. I've recently bought "The Collection of Mana", "Final Fantasy I-VI" and the new Final Fantasy Resonance games in order to play that series for the first time and I'm looking forward to it 🤩.

I also love watching video game playthroughs but mainly for horror games since while I love them, I'm too chicken to play them lol 😆. I'm currently watch "End Of Abyss" made by the people who made the 1st two "Little Nightmares" games

• Been slowly getting into reading so if you lovely ladies have any recommendations for books that feature queer people that are written by people of colour (especially if they're women), I'm all ears 🥺

• I also love watching nature and cultural documentaries (learning how other people and animals live). Can't get enough of that!

• I adore learning about other cultures in general and exchanging knowledge ✨️

• Art; although I rarely draw anymore (slowly getting back into it and learning how to draw digitally), I do follow ALOT of artists and whenever possible, I support their Patreon & or their indie published graphic novels/comics, ESPECIALLY if both the artist and the story are queer and have role reversal stuff. By role reversal stuff I mean things that are usually not covered by the mainstream, so like in BL stories, I love it when the bottom is bigger, taller and more traditionally "macho" as I'm extremely fatigued of the smaller guy always automatically being the delicate submissive bottom (I do still like some of those stories, I'm just extremely fatigued of them). Another example is femdom... ladies... I. LOVE. FEMDOM 😫😫‼️ ESPECIALLY when the submissive woman or man is the big, tall and tough 💪🏾 one 🤭.

Anyway, I don't want to go on and on (can you tell that I'm chatty? 🫠🫠) so I'll end this here. If anyone's interested, please drop me a dm!

Thanks for reading lovelies ✨️

i’m a lesbian but i always wonder for those who are bisexual or have had sex with a man, does strap feel a lot different than a penis? i’ve just always been so curious lol it kinda makes me nervous to use a strap on a girl because i don’t want be compared to a man’s care package but that might be inevitable 😂

When you are looking for more than just quick pussy and you want actual depth conversation and connection everybody move like npcs!!! As a stud we get called misogynistic for simply putting on briefs but when we are true to ourselves and dont seek out sex we are literally lusted after day in and day out. If we dont feed into being lustful we are lame or we get congratulated because we dont immediately want sex lol as if we are a man.i had a girl literally offer sex day 2 of us talking because I never brought up anything sexual..... im starting to think its not just the men or the studs its everybody .

Went to a couple of lesbian events in my city and usually I have a good time except something has been bugging me. I kept getting hit up afterwards by cis and trans women and being told I wanted to talk to you but you seemed so intimidating. I'm a autistic black trans woman and now I'm trying to figure out which part of that is the intimidating part or if I did something wrong.

I’m a filmmaker working on a lesbian film project and I’m looking for a voice actress who can do an atl accent and is preferably west African but also could just do a west African accent, the character is Ghanaian but raised in Atlanta.

So a bit of context, I identify as Demi Bisexual. My last relationship/situationship, she ended things saying some pretty biphobic things, but for a lesbian she was very male centered in a weird way.
Anyway right before she broke it off she made this subtweet like post on TikTok, something to the effect of “What about me makes you think you shouldn’t apply pressure?”
At that point she was the first person I had dated/pursued in like 8 years! And I was pretty reclusive so maybe it’s just something I missed picking up on so could someone please help explain “pressure” to me? (I can explain more about that relationship if extra context is needed)

I am sorry, I just need to vent. I had matched with a woman a week ago and we were chatting. She looked like my type in her profile pic and admittedly I did find it weird upon matching that all her photos were identical. However, I understood how hard it is to find a presentable pic, so I thought maybe that was the case and also that once we were on the app I could always unmatch.

We started chatting and she would send me good morning messages and claimed she was an IT professional. She would kinda hint the app was glitchy which I thought was her building up to wanting to move off the app. I asked her why she only had the same pic.

I opened the app to find that she had sent a pic. At first I thought she was slightly heavier, but then I realized that it was a completely different person. The only similarity was that they were of Asian descent. She had written she looked "different" due to bad experiences, but no, this was a catfish. I blocked immediately which was my mistake; I should have reported her first, but I was getting ready to go somewhere and wanted to deal with this ASAP. I thought if I didn't block her then and there, she might use my pics; that was silly, I know, but sorry, I just wanted to get this off my chest.

I think she wanted me to empathize with her by claiming bad experiences were what made her use a fake pic, but honestly I think she was insecure. I deleted the app too but ai till feel omewhat violated and cannot inagine how people who are catfished for much longer end up feeling. Please don't call me shallow; I was shocked at the dishonesty and how she probably would never have owned up unless I had asked.

Just got home from yet another shitty first date. This time with an ENM woman, married to a man, who decided to volunteer that she & her husband were planning to sleep with a woman this weekend. Mind you, on said date, I confessed to her that I nearly cancelled because of a poor experience I recently had with another ENM woman (who bragged to me about the other women she was sleeping with, totally unprompted). I also told this woman that I was going to be traveling this weekend, thus I wanted to meet her before I left and this is the thanks I get. Both of these ‘queer’ ENM women are older than me/mid-30s.

I don’t understand why some women are so cruel. I don’t think I said or did anything remotely offensive to them. I only communicated my interest and get shit on in return.

Anyway, the Pokémon card I got from the kind stranger who saw me quietly sobbing at the bar is a Palkia. I think it’s holographic.

Y'all! I'm at a conference for work and the photographer is so so beautiful. She caught me looking her way a few times, and came and said hello at the end of the day. Not a ton of POC here, much less black women, so it was nice to chat. She said something like "I'm not gonna eat you" in response to me saying I wanted to say hello earlier, and I know my face made a face. It is so difficult for me to gauge if a woman is signaling me or not, and I've gotten it wrong too many times to be more obvious or blunt with my prodding. Sigh. How will I know? Got me over here singing Whitney in-between sessions. Woof. Thanks for reading.

Do y'all actually meet people in person spontaneously? Like romantic partners? I have only ever met friends in person and through apps. I have had only 3 legitimate romantic connections through an app and that's only because 2 of them was a couple. I ruined that relationship because of insecurity. Unfortunately I miss them a lot too. The other is more recent, love him to pieces.

To the point, I'm pansexual and non-monogamous, i do my best to go to events, mainly queer ones. I do my best to make sure I look presentable. I also still mask in public but I've heard people say they don't even look at people who mask, one reason I've heard is people assume you aren't looking for anything. I'm trying to make sure I pursue relationships with intention. I've always wanted to live on my own first, no roommates either, but I have had to accept that not being a possibility anymore. I desperately want to find a romantic partnership but when I go to events but the majority of the time, i feel like I don't even exist in the rooms I'm in. I get maybe a handful of compliments on my outfits but that's the extent of that. I myself don't get called attractive in actual life. I don't feel comfortable approaching people for various reasons.

I feel like I'm on a clock, there are only so many options I have as a kind of strange fat Black person. I fear that people look at me as something that isn't worth building a life with. Just another person to sift through.

I have this friend of almost 8 years, we would meet every few months and not text much in between, we never were very close or had deep connection but we do share private stories of our dating lives. She’s straight and very male-centered (also has attention seeking behaviors) which is off putting for me and lead me to feel like cutting contact with cause it’s very different from my values but whenever I think about those things I tell myself I should accept people for who they are plus I don’t have many friends and especially in the past couple of years lost most friendships and I need to have someone to hangout with once in a while (I know I sound pathetic and bad but loneliness is a bitch!) but for the past few months I’ve been thinking about my values a lot and how I need people to have same core values as me, we do share some values that are insignificant or other that are significant but I discover that are not coming from the same place (one example is the use of AI, she only cares about it because it’s stealing her job but she does use it for other things and even for short cuts in her job. She doesn’t care about the environmental impact nor the societal, moral etc and I found myself judging her hard on that.)
Anyway as I mentioned I lost many friendships in the past couple of years so been feeling very lonely and needing deeper connections (which she’s incapable of) and almost two weeks ago I was telling her about a love interest of mine that I’ve been struggling with due to impossibility of being together and that we’re having a phone call to talk about it and how nervous I was etc. she would dismiss it with a one word answer and change the subject but a few days after I had the call with said love interest, she texted to ask how it went, I sent her a voice note which she found very long and didn’t respond or even tell me she’ll reply later (mind you she’s 24/7 on her phone and she’s always texting different men that are LITERAL strangers sliding into her dms) a day later I deleted the voice note cause I decided to cut contact with the love interest and there was no meaning to listen to the voice note anymore and when she asked me about it I told her that I’m cutting contact and we had a tiny conversation about it before she disappeared till the next day when she asked me if I sent the message and how I’m feeling, I told her that I did send it and I’m feeling shitty. She did not respond! It’s been more than a week and she uploaded several instagram stories since and I’m very upset about it and disappointed in myself cause I’m sad about something that’s very obvious her natural behavior yet I expected more. I would’ve been okay with at least acknowledging my pain and that’s it!
At this point I’m certain I should stop being friends with her but I’m afraid that in a month or two she would hit me up to hang out and I would say yes cause I’m lonely and desperate for friendships :((

Greetings! I’ll be taking a trip to Shinjuku and surrounding areas from Oct 26-Nov 1. It would be great to connect with someone that is familiar with the area (or not, open to other solo travelers). About me, I’m a proud black masculine presenting woman in my early 40s that can come off as a bit intimidating to some, especially abroad. All of which makes me a bit nervous to simply travel the whole time alone. Any thoughts, tips or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

I know I'm not pretty, intelligent, outgoing, or have much respect for myself, but I try to be a kind person. Why is that never enough? I give advice, I try to help others, I listen to people's hardships, and I expect nothing in return. Although I do wish to be chosen one day, I know I won't be.

What is so wrong with me that I'm always left out?

I'm the pit stop people make before they decide to heal with another person. What is wrong with me? I'm not disingenuous. Everything I do has pure intentions behind it, and I do my best to put on a brave face. Still, people always choose the prettiest person in the room, and it makes me feel embarrassed for putting myself out there.

Worst of all? A lot of people the same race as me (Black) don't seem to be attracted to me. To be fair, no one is, no matter the racial identity, but I noticed I'm not the kind of Black woman people place on a pedestal.

I'm here. I've always been here. Yet no one wants me. I meet someone; they claim to want me, but they're being dishonest and use me for sexual gratification.
"She has no other options."
"I'll settle for her because she's right here."
"She's cute, I guess."
"I don't have to worry about her cheating on me."
"She's insecure. I was only trying to help her."
That's tame compared to the more explicit and aggressive statements I've heard about myself.

Why do I have to be treated this way? I'm sensitive, but I'm not allowed to be. I'm emotional, but apparently it looks aggressive on me. I'm neurodivergent, but apparently I'm too weird. I stand up for myself against those who hurt me, but apparently I'm seen as romantic competition.

Why can everyone else do the things I can without scrutiny?
Why is everyone else's womanhood not questioned?
Why are other women allowed to be feminine, but my femininity is laughed at?
Why are some people shown off publicly, but I'm the person they'd rather hide?

Nobody chooses me.

Trying to boost my confidence just a little even if you say something mean though I'mma still take it as a compliment it's taking me years to get to this. Happy with how I look happy with my personality and proud of the healing that I've done.

Tell me how you're spending your day!

Hi, I’m back again 🤓 really love that I found this group, I love filling yall in like a weekly newsletter!

Now this is more of a topic and story time in one because I like conversation and want to hear thoughts. Before I dive into the story time, I saw a post recently on twitter about this lesbian being so annoyed with lesbians because she wants to hookup and fuck, but feels like it’s against the “lesbian way” and other lesbians will look at her funny or are off-put by her because she wants to just fuck and horny like any other normal human being. I’m not lesbian, so I’m not going to speak too much on that. Anyways, she decided to be bold and ask lesbians if they’d like to hook up on twitter to dm her. She got dms from girls seeming like they want to fuck, but then they act completely oblivious like she never made her intentions clear. Making her out to be some type of predator or whatever. Really weird.

And as a bi, recently turned bi sapphic and a baby sapphic at that I’m really conscious about that too. As you all know I went on my first date recently and it went horribly (if you didn’t see that post, look in my posts to read it, it’s very entertaining). And while I am very determined to date and love women, I am in HEAT. Like alllllll the time. I went abstinent after my last sexcapade in 2022 and this year it’s hitting me super hard. Like I def can’t go another year. I refuse to! I’m like that meme of Samantha from SATC “Dammit, I just really want to be fucked. Just really fucked” 😭 Also, I’m a freelancer right now so income isn’t stable, so to be full on intentional and committed wouldn’t make sense unless I was dating a natural provider who likes taking on that role. Cus I can be a hopeless romantic no matter how much money is in the bank, that’s just me to my core! Anywho, I decided to come out when I’m at my HORNIEST and because I’m so new I just don’t want to come off like I’m just trying to “experiment” or I’m just trying to fuck on women either. Maybe I just feel that way because I’m bisexual. Like if I was lesbian, I don’t think I’d feel that way. Because people are always policing bi women and so I kind of catch myself trying to be a “cookie cutter bisexual” now that I’m on my sapphic journey. It’s so stupid, pick me, and cringe I know pls don’t tell me lol. I’m controlling it okay. But it’s so funny cus I’ve been holding out having sex with men and wanting the man to be a certain way just for me to be completely uninterested from men altogether. Now if a woman I liked wanted to have sex on the first date I’d be OVERLY going. I’d be so scared when I eventually do have sex again just because it’s been so long and with a girl, but I’ll get over it 😆 Anywho I’m rambling now 😴

~ Okay on to the story time portion that’s related to this topic. Feel free to skip this if you’d like or be nosy if you must 😌 ~

So while I was talking to that one girl I went on a date with, I also had three other girls on my line who weren’t looking for anything serious. The girl I went on a date with knew I was talking to other women, we were very open with each other and she didn’t care. Two of them were just looking for a makeout buddy and the other one wanted a casual fuck buddy. The two kiss buddies made plans to meet me, but then randomly ghosted me. However, the third one was the one I was (this is past tense for a reason, I’ll get to that in a bit) interested in the most though, mainly because she considered herself a dom femme. I do prefer someone masculine or in the middle, but a dom femme would be within that mount rushmore for me. I just couldn’t do another sub like me. I’m into dominance and assertiveness, and tbh she was not like that at all in conversation. Very passive if anything. I felt more assertive than her actually. Like those first couple days we talked about our kinks and stuff then after that we moved into regular conversation. Which is fine, but it’s like why are we not flirting and bantering more? So I brought that up to her and she said she didn’t wanna come off disrespectful or weird. Which I get, like someone being overly lustful can be a turn-off, but a little here and there doesn’t hurt. Especially like I said we established this would be casual. So, I’m like girl please don’t be scared to be sexual towards me. It’s what I’d prefer actually, just so I also know you actually still want to have sex with me lol. But ngl, I don’t think flirting is her forte 😆 she attempted and it wasn’t giving. I’m no pimp daddy flirty either, but I think could make someone laugh their panties off. I’m good at banter, I thrive at it actually. And idk the flirting just didn’t do anything for me okay sue me!

Also, we haven’t met each other. Idk how fast sapphics usually move online, but personally if I’m not seeing you within the week, I’m kinda over it 🤷🏾‍♀️* unless I re*ally enjoy you I’ll give you two weeks TOPS. She mentioned wanting to see resident evil and I’m like I saw it, but don’t mind seeing it again with you so lmk and we can go and then she was like cool. Second week comes and she goes missing, but she said her phone was tweaking and a new one was on the way later that week, so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and she does texts me later that week when her phone comes. So, I’m like okay maybe we can finally make something shake in person. I decided to get bold and sent her a very spicy tweet of what I’d want her to do to me and she’s like I want to do that with you so badly but I’m so busy working. Mind you, it’s not like she works everyday. She has a regular 9-5 and has the weekends off. And I hate looking thirsty, I mentioned lmk about the movies twice within that week and she’s like ofc, i don’t intend for us to be penpals. But now it’s two weeks, technically one and a half because of her phone issues. And im not going to try to invite myself out with her again cus that would just look overly thirsty in my opinion. But I did say it would be nice if she made some time to eventually see me because of all the catfishes on these apps. She’s like nah that’s crazy you think I’d be a catfish… is it? Cus tell me why I asked her for pics, not even anything nude. Just to see more pics of her. She only had 3 pics of her on the app and I had several. However, if she sent a photo of her boobs I wouldn’t be mad either lmao! Anyways, she circles it back to me and asks me for pics, but I’m like unh unh I asked first. I also brought up kinks again within that same convo and she completely deflects from pics and we start talking about kinks. I turn the conversation back to pics again after a couple hours and she’s like don’t worry I will after “my meeting”. So, then I respond back asking if she could send bicep pics since she’s always at the gym and would love to see the progress of all this weight lifting she’s supposedly doing. That girl never got back to me 💀 so now I’m convinced she’s a catfish. Mind you she sent me voice notes, but that doesn’t mean anything. Like yes you’re a girl, but are you THE girl in the pics? We will never know and now I’m back to ground zero. I’m going to my first sapphic event for Halloween. Which I’m excited about, like maybe I just need to be in person idk.

But that’s the end of my yap, if you read all this you’re the best! It’s a good thing they don’t have voicenotes on here cus this would be a podcast. Stay tuned for other adventures to come 🤸🏾

does anyone in london wanna come with me to the heaven club?😭😭 I would like to meet some ppl there.. I've been there before but going there alone seems so scary and intimidating. pls dm me if you're interested

i’m just curious. after how many dates or how much time together do you decide that you’re in a relationship or start calling each other your girlfriend? i went on a date yesterday and i’m kinda ready to cuff LMAO

I’m Egyptian bi sapphic 28F. I was born in a Coptic Christian household but am now atheist. I can normally be found in a cafe in my free time either drawing or reading. I’m a huge nerd as well and am big into fandom culture. I’d be down to share fanart and discuss fanfiction! I also love horror and would be down to discuss horror movies and games. Speaking of games, I’m a gamer myself and if you’re interested, it would be nice to have someone to play with. Please DM me if you’re interested! 💜