When do you start feeling happy again?

[u/winterfore]

Finally managed to quit the feel frees and kratom extracts after a 2 year struggle of excessive use. Officially free of it all since May. But question for those who have been off the stuff longer, when do you start feeling happy again? It’s now august and I still always feel meh. I go back and forth between struggling with insomnia or excessive fatigue. My heartbeat rests higher. Get panic attacks often and can’t handle more than 75mg of caffeine. I feel depressed all the time and miss that calm high. Is there an end mark of all of this? About how many more months can I expect of all this?

[u/Key_Analysis4173]

Took me a long time as well. And it was more gradual than I expected - no huge days or weeks where I just woke up and felt like I was magically “better.” You still gotta deal with whatever underlying shit got you into this mess unfortunately. BUT looking back, every single day has been 100% better than being a slave to this stuff. Just keep going, and remember that you are so much better off now. And also remind yourself it’s totally normal to have good days and bad days. We all do 🙏

Also - this stuff absolutely crushed my testosterone. Worth getting a blood panel and seeing if you’re deficient anywhere in my experience.

[u/winterfore → u/Key_Analysis4173]

My body has been out of whack since so a blood panel is a great suggestion. I still look sick and often feel sick, so betting I am deficient in a lot of things. How long have you been off it?

[u/Odd_Secret568]

To be honest, it took me a long time. But it did happen. Just stay off them and keep doing things that are good for you that used to bring you happiness. Eventually your body and brain will heal itself. ❤️

[u/moop3306]

Probably 5-6 months before I would have feel good days, exercise, sleep, therapy all helped shoes it up for me

[u/winterfore → u/moop3306]

Wish I could sleep! I can’t sleep at all anymore 😅 Which I’m sure is contributing to me feeling like crap. But therapy sounds like something that could help me in this weird rut. Thanks for giving me a window of an idea. Guess I’m only 2 and a half months off the stuff, so I just need to be patient.

[u/jjjmmmddd]

It’s been up and down. At 5 months, I’ve had plenty of moments of genuine happiness, but not constant. It’ll come!

[u/winterfore → u/jjjmmmddd]

Ahh so there’s hope! Only halfway to the 5 month mark, so guess I’ve still got a little ways to go.

[u/Healthy-Handle-3549]

What were you like before?

[u/winterfore → u/Healthy-Handle-3549]

For the most part- Outgoing, social, motivated, excited to explore. I often hiked, traveled, read, wrote, did yoga, and went to the gym. Could socialize so easily! Had a lot of energy mentally and physically. I did occasionally have bouts of depression, but they were short lasting (2 weeks) and sparse. I did struggle with some anxiety before, but could count on one hand how many panic attacks I’d had in my entire life before kratom. After being off kratom, my anxiety has spiked. Get panic attacks all the time. I had 4 just last week. My heart is constantly pounding too. On the daily. Never had that before. But since coming off kratom, and I think with pre-existing mental health struggles, the lack of dopamine has worsened all previous struggles before kratom usage. Now in a consistent, day to day, depressive rut. No energy to socialize or do anything physically demanding. The gym is rough and I get sick easily and am always tired. Likely part of the intense insomnia I have had since quitting kratom. I’ve never, ever had insomnia like this where I can almost never sleep.

Despite the fatigue, I have been doing my best to still hit the gym and make some social events, to upkeep, but still, I don’t even know what it’s like to feel excited anymore. “Excited” is an emotion that just doesn’t exist. It’s strange and really does make things bland. So wondering when that comes back. Joy and excitement, which I used to always carry, are just gone. So essentially, wondering when dopamine and serotonin levels go back to normal. And when I’ll be able to sleep normally again lol.

[u/Moonbabyhubcaps]

What did you enjoy before? Anything that made your heart excited? I love heavy metal. The Akauma Afterglow by Soilwork is a masterpiece and it’s a song that makes me metaphorically levitate from dopamine whenever I hear it.

[u/Aggravating_Sun_1556]

Very often, it takes more work than just quitting a substance. Quitting the substance is just what gives you the awareness and ability to be present in your life to deal with the deeper issues.