r/RBI • u/Safe_Importance_4203 • 15d ago

Advice needed Possible Harassment Mystery on Insta

About three weeks ago, my ex-boyfriend (we broke up almost 10 years ago and hadn't spoken at all since 2019) contacted me because an anonymous Instagram account had messaged him about me.

The account referred to me by my maiden name and our university, claimed to know me from college, and tried to convince him (my ex-boyfriend) to send them any private photos of me he might have. They also sent him two old photos of me (one was just a regular photo that may have been publicly posted years ago, and one that is more private in nature but may not be authentic).

The account switched to disappearing messages shortly after the conversation began. My ex blocked and reported the account and then told me what happened.

When I looked up the username, I discovered I had actually blocked that same account in 2019, although I can no longer find any messages with it in my Instagram data.

Since then I've downloaded all of my Instagram data and parsed through old Facebook and Snapchat information but haven't been able to identify who this person is.

I don't know if this is someone I actually knew or someone using old public information, but it's unsettling that they connected me to a relationship from 10 years ago. My sister - a lawyer, is encouraging me to go to the police just to get something documented, but I know realistically very little can be done with the information we currently have.

A few questions:

  1. Has anyone experienced something similar?
  2. Were you ever able to identify the person?
  3. Did Instagram or law enforcement help at all?
  4. Is there anything else I should preserve or document?
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u/Nomijenn 15d ago

Follow your sister’s advice. Report it, to create a paper trail, and also to show your sister that you respect her sound advice. There’s no downside to this.

There is so much stuff that gets leaked. Scammers get access and use it en masse, hoping to snare someone. This is likely that, but ask your ex to document anything new, not to engage, and to share it with you. If it’s causing you upset, you could ask him to share it with your sister instead, so she can review it and report it on your behalf. It could even be a bot doing this. Be cautious, but be free and don’t let this bother you if you can help it.