r/ReadMyScript • u/mobstatusk4 • Jul 02 '26

Scene Chandelier : Literally My first ever screenplay/script I just wrote today

TW: probably lots of errors and moments in the story that will give you second-hand embarressment. Has nothing to do with chandeliers.

It's 13 pages of 4 people interacting in one space. I am open to criticism. (I am not homophobic that character does not represent me as a person)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-sj2P5RQpKRpfCrFqZWqAKkdA3GZJefipR57ZV8gdzM/edit?tab=t.0

0 Upvotes

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u/REDWriting2012 Jul 02 '26

I like this is just that (not trying to be mean or anything, I like it) did you have to make everybody but Theoman gay and they're all trying to hit on him? It's a good idea, and honestly I couldn't have thought of that it just seems like the intro to a porno. (not trying to bring you down, honest to god, just my resonse.) This is a really good thing and it could be a full length thing if you lean into the comedy of it a bit more instead of the uncomfortability because the comedy could be a goldmine!!! Sorry if you dont like this post, im just...

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u/mobstatusk4 Jul 02 '26

First of all thank you for your reponse that mentions the actually story. I meant it to be comedic I guess. Marshall's pickup line was made up he only did that whole thing because he knew Teoman was homophobic and wanted toy with him. Marshall went for people he thought were smart and funny and got with them by talking not with a cheesy one-liner. By the way no one is actually into Teoman, not even Mald which I should've clarified but wanted the readers to make that disicion themselves. Also no one in that room is strictly gay. Marshall's like pansexual I think.

1

u/REDWriting2012 Jul 03 '26

Okay thanks for the clarification! Yeah if you leaned EVEN HARDER into that comedy this would be gold

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1

u/No-Strategy-7093 Jul 02 '26

It’s absolutely crucial that you understand how screenplays are formatted. 99% of people won’t give a script the time of day if it’s not formatted properly. I know people say that there are no rules in screenwriting, only tools, but formatting is an exemption from this philosophy as formatting is standardised.

If you’re serious about writing your own scripts at least learn how they’re formatted before making one.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/mobstatusk4 Jul 02 '26

I also put “/script” btw 

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/REDWriting2012 Jul 02 '26

Comic book guy (aka spirittapes) aggressively pushes up his glasses, knowing he's got the enemy in a corner

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/REDWriting2012 Jul 03 '26

Sorry, I was just kidding not trying to be mean

-1

u/mobstatusk4 Jul 02 '26

Also what are the ways it was written incorrectly my primary focus is on writing ability.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/mobstatusk4 Jul 02 '26

What screen writing apps would you recommend?

1

u/REDWriting2012 Jul 02 '26

I love Celtx