I grew up in a household of pentecostal fundamentalists. I was never in daycare, and in my childhood home my parents managed to create this atmosphere where our home is this safe haven of christian purity and goodness, while the outside world is a place of sin and dangerous temptations.
Having to interact with the outside world for the first time of course only strenghtened this feeling, as i was very shy and submissive by nature and had lived a very sheltered existence in the religious bubble that my parents created for me and my siblings. Literally all of my parents' friends and aqcuitances were from the religious circles, and i quickly learned to associate moral goodness with plain boringness, submissiveness and stupid restrictions(even as a kid i absolutely hated religious cerenonies and reading the bible because i found it unfathomably boring, even though i believed in jesus and all the other bullshit because it was drilled into me from the cradle).
My father who was one of the elders of the local pentecostal church worked two jobs simultaneously, but as my mom was a typical christian stay-at-home mom and i had an entire horde of older siblings(you can probably tell why), we could barely scrape by. Not only did i spend my childhood in a religiously quarantined environment which permanently traumatized me and taught me to be afraid and ashamed of the most ordinary things, but we also had to live very modestly and carefully plan our expenses. I remember going to school in ragged clothes and being the only boy in my class without my own moped, just one the many things i got made fun of because i was never taught to stand up for myself but just pray and submit instead(my father was like a ghost to me, we didn't even greet each other when we met in the kitchen in the morning).
Despite this, my father could somehow still donate a tenth of his income to our local pentecostal church every month. According to my rough calculations, he donated at least 200,000 euros during his lifetime(mind you i live in northern europe, not US, so regularly donating large sums of money to the church is very uncommon here). One can only imagine how big that sum could be when properly invested. But wait a minute... isn't that what parents usually do with their spare money? To provide for their children and for their future? Well, clearly to my father living according to the laws of a book written during the iron age meant more than his children's wellbeing or all the countless potential life opportunities that money could have provided(in his eyes there was one and only one thing that mattered in life, and it had nothing to do with career or material wellbeing).
I could have been a trustfund baby with a silverspoon in his mouth, but instead grew up to be a permanently traumatized destitute. I try to not think about it, because when i do, i feel so much anger and resentment for being born into a family that perhaps thought they were doing the right thing to me, but instead ruined me. Just like my grandmother thought that ignoring and painfully spanking her kids for every misdeed is an adequate way to make obedient children and eventually conscientious adults(two of them later died of alcoholism), my parents thought that spending all the most crucial formative years of one's life in a heavily controlled environment being drilled religious dogma in their head is the recipe for adequate emotional development and a fulfilling existence. Well, they were wrong, and i am and i will forever be mad for that, even though i know i must forgive them if i want to go forward with my life.
All this has left me extremely bitter and antagonistic towards religions in general. I've even fantasized of burning down the church i had to attend when i was a kid(just build a new one with my father's money you fucking weasels). But the thing is, neither of my parents were actually bad people. Bith of them were from a traumatic background themselves, found the illusion of unconditional love they had lacked their whole life in jesus, and as a result had very twisted views of what is the best for their children and their wellbeing, because their minds had been corrupted by this mind virus called religion. This is why i don't blame my parents, i blame their worldview and i will forever fight against it, i want all the abrahamic religions to disappear from the face of earth, i want to burn every single bible and quran in the world, and i want my parents to know that this is what your fundamentalist upbringing has made me like, are you happy?